Send To All: Lewis Capaldi’s Toilet Confession | Michael McIntyre's Big Show

You know, I had won the award because I was going to poo. My PR guy comes up to me and goes, Lewis, hurry up. And I'm like, no, I'm in the middle of something. Or something's in the middle of me, I should say. Earlier tonight, this is the message. I said, I dropped my phone in the toilet while I was trying to take a selfie, don't ask. And now all my contact names have gone. So who are you, pal? I obviously have to be careful now that I'm a global megastar slash hunk slash billionaire So can you send me your name and one story about us that no-one else would know? That's the text that went out. So let's find out who has replied. We're going to start with Mum. She sent two texts, both for small kisses. You must have inherited that from her. Yeah. The first one is, I gave birth to you. The second one is, did you put it in rice? She wants to fix your phone. You maternal advice. Now, this is a fun one. Greg James from Radio 1 has just texted, it's your old pal Greg thinking of you. P.S., this is how you do it. And then, well, he sent a photo of himself on the toilet. Oh, to take a selfie on the loo. Michael Duffy. Oh, God, he's my friend. He lives in Scotland, he's a gravedigger. He's a gravedigger? How did you meet him? Oh, at school. Oh, he's a school friend. It wasn't digging my grandmother's grave. Give us your number, pal! He says, it's Duffdigger, obviously. What about the time we were in Ibiza and all decided to patch out going out and sat in watching the One Direction film? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That doesn't sound very rock and roll, Lewis. Well, sometimes you need to take care of yourself. Ryan Penty. Who's Pence? Ryan Penty's my agent. Oh, OK. Ryan is actually doubting whether it's you. He's actually put, how do I know it's you? Please send your mother's maiden name, account number and sort code. Nick Lorry. Who's Lorry? He's a friend of ours. Well, he's gone. We were touring in Holland and the day before Christmas Eve, we had to get a flight and you picked up the phone We missed our flight and had to spend 15 hours on the Eurostar and I had to do all my Christmas shopping in a garden centre in Inverness. Decent story! Oh, Niall Horan has sent a very sweet photograph of him with his pucket lips. Gordon Duncan. Gordon Duncan is my PR guy. Is your PR guy? So this is going to be a very readable story. He's gone, ha-ha! Where's he from? Scotland. Ah, OK. Remember that time I had to come and look for you in the toilets at an awards ceremony when you were needed on stage to get the award, you didn't know you were winning? Yeah. Love, Gordon. Your long-suffering regional PR manager. Yeah. Regional? I was being given, I think it was a Great Scot award. Lovely. Which is quite big in Scotland. Obviously, down here, it doesn't hold much weight. Silence available across the room. I didn't know I had won the award because I was going to poo. And then my PR guy comes up to me and goes, Lewis, hurry up. And I'm like, no, I'm in the middle of something. Or something's in the middle of me, I should say. All right. OK. Who's Phil Plaston? Phil Plaston, he's there. He's in the room. Is that a coincidence? Phil Corot... Is it a coincidence? All right, Phil Corot, the song, Forget Me. Phil Plaston. Phil, is this a coincidence? Your girlfriend booked the tickets? You co-wrote a song and you're relying on free tickets? He's co-wrote a lot of songs. That's amazing. Yeah. And he just happened to be in the audience with your number. He said, looking absolutely stunning up in the box, you handsome chap, and he sent a photo from his seat. Joseph Wanda. Oh, he's a songwriter and a guy I work with a lot. He's in this game. Oh, very good. Probably the greatest message I've ever received. I got hammered with you and Ed Sheeran and watched him spit red wine into your mouth at Ali Pali. It happened. OK. And I think it's only fair to end on Dad, who has phoned you several times. You have missed call after missed call, and he said one word. Arse.