5 Financial Non-negotiables When You're Dating

Before you fall for someone's smile, charm, or the fact that they own a pelaton, you need to ask yourself, are they financially compatible with me? Today, we are diving into why dating somebody who's financially reckless is like willingly boarding the Titanic after the iceberg hit. I'm going to be covering the red flags, like those who are racking up credit card debt insanely fast, to the green flags that scream, "Date me, I budget." Because listen, love is cute, but overdraft fees, not so much. Let's get into it. Hey guys, I'm your host Justine of the Debtree Millennials channel where we talk about all ways to achieve financial confidence, crush debt that leads to more fun and fewer payments. I thought this was a really interesting topic to unpack because so many of us are in the dating world and so very few of us are talking about finances when we are dating somebody. All right, real quick before we get into it. I've been married for over a decade, so I am definitely out of the dating scene. Like, the last time I dated, people were still updating their Facebook status to in a relationship. But here's the thing. Even though I'm not out there dodging bad Tinder bios, I do know what it's like to live with someone's money habits every single day. So, think of this as your big sister stepping in with some tough love because the only thing worse than dating someone financially reckless is marrying them. So protect yourself, protect your peace, and let's get back to the video. So as your big sister, I want to give you some advice on this, and that is never date somebody who is financially reckless. Financially reckless to me means those who are not paying attention to their spending patterns or they completely avoid any future financial planning. Not just retirement, but also thinking about building up savings for future expenses like a car or a house or marriage. Somebody who's financially reckless is also racking up a lot of debt, especially credit card debt, and they're not paying attention to those highinterest balances that are rapidly accumulating even more debt. Plus, somebody who's financially reckless is always owing somebody money. So whether it's their mom or their brother or a friend or a cousin, it feels like they always owe somebody money. And this is a biggie for me. This would be a huge red flag. If somebody's financially reckless, they are feeding addictions over their well-being. I'm not talking about just drug or alcohol addictions, but think about things like gambling or shopping or always this urge to spend money on chasing these pleasures when they're really not focused on contentment. Instead, you want to look for someone who knows the power of investing or at least has an interest to understand it. Investing is one of the best ways to grow your net worth. Not only does it allow you a comfortable retirement, but it gives you access to compound interest. That's earning interest on not only on the original amount that you invested, but also on the accumulated interest from previous periods like the stock market. Someone who's actively avoiding the stock market and simply wants to put money under a mattress or in a drawer is actually doing themselves a disservice because money sitting in a drawer is not earning any interest. and a dollar today will not buy the same goods and services in the future due to inflation. To me, dating material is someone who is already actively participating in investing, such as an employer sponsored retirement plan. Brownie points are given to those who are investing on their own. Another non-negotiable when it comes to dating is dating someone who's not concerned with appearances or status. Personally, I would be a little concerned if the person that I was dating was more concerned about the brand of car that they're driving than a paid for car. Someone who is hyperfocused on their appearances or status portrays a certain level of vanity. It emphasizes vanity. Like, they're so self-absorbed, they don't care what the cost it takes in order to keep up a certain aesthetic or appearance. Somebody who's flashy or flaunts their money is loud money. It screams, "Ooh, look at me. Look at the shirt I'm wearing." Not only the shirt, but the brand. Look at the brand of car that I'm driving. Look where I live. To me, that's very off-putting and a red flag. Instead, you want to pour energy in somebody who wants to make an effort to do better with money. Whether it's building up savings, paying off debt, creating passive income streams, all of these symbolizes a huge green flag because they want to do better with their money. And what that really means is they want to actively build a life they love. And to me, that's really exciting because their current situation isn't permanent. It's self- evvolving. And this type of self-development with finances often impacts other areas of life, including health, relationships, and careers. And I think you want to date somebody who prioritizes collaboration over separation when it comes to money. As your relationship gets more serious, it's only natural that you'll want to move in or talk about marriage. and finances absolutely needs to be discussed before these next steps are taken. And you'll know if they're a keeper if they are prioritizing collaboration over separation. Someone who financially collaborates talks openly about how much income they make, what their current debts are, and any future financial planning with you. They may want to open up a joint checking account so that you guys can collaborate on decisions together, such as how much they're comfortable in paying for monthly living expenses. They talk about money in terms of ours, not mine and yours. This would be a huge green flag for me and somebody that I would want to pursue when it comes to the dating world. Now, what are some of the financial non-negotiables for you where you're like, I draw a line in the sand. If we if you are not doing this, then it's game over. We're breaking up. And if you personally feel stuck on which next financial step to take, check out my miniourse, Millennial Money Moves. This is a quick 4 video course that is going to help you organize all areas of your money, get clear on what those financial goals to be, and take that right next step. Plus, you can use code dating to get $10 off using the link below. I will leave that below in the description box for you guys to check out. And I'll catch you in the next one. [Music]