Meeting Birth Mother After 56 Years

She texted me yesterday saying she had a cold and she wasn't feeling good and I told her, I texted back and said, you better get well fast. I've waited a long time, 56 years to be exact. Oh my gosh. What were you thinking? I am so excited, but I'm very nervous. Wow. And I've waited for 30 some years to do this, to find her. And I really cannot wait to just hug her and see what she really looks like, not in pictures, but in real life. I'm sorry, this is awful. Should we go? Yeah, we'll go. Oh my gosh. I've been waiting for you. I've been waiting. 56 years I've been waiting for you. Yeah, me too. 30 some years I've been trying. Really? It's hard, isn't it? You're so beautiful. Oh my gosh. You're so beautiful. Wow. Oh my God, stop it. And there's Mr. David. I'm so excited too. Oh, it's handy. I could hold this secret forever. I do. Oh my goodness. You are beautiful. So nice. Oh, this is wonderful. This is so nice. It's so good to see you guys in person. You know, not just on Facebook. People say they can see the resemblance. Do you see the... Oh, absolutely. Do you? Absolutely. Well, I do. No, no. When you came together, it was like a mirror. I mean... That's what I thought when I was looking at your eyes. No, I was just looking at your eyes and I thought... Yeah, but they're blue. No, they're kind of green. Are they green? Greenish blue. Okay. Yeah. Craig called me in Hamasu that Friday, that Saturday. Uh-huh. He goes, that's a lockdown. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Carol lockdown. I think Carol. I think when I saw Carol, I thought I looked more or less like her. Yes, you do. Oh. No, I do so much more. Well, yeah. Oh, well. But I mean, your face, they picked it up. I thought so, too, when I saw her. I did, too. Yeah. One picture when I was in the distance. Okay, go close again so I can see you next to each other. Okay. Very definitely. And then look at each other. Look at the profiles. The profiles? See, it's the eyes. For sure, it's the eyes. Uh-huh. This doesn't even feel real. It doesn't yet. No. Uh-uh. No. I'm so excited. That helped a lot, didn't it? Oh, yeah. I don't know. We could have done it without talking. Yeah, it took me about three days to recover. Oh, my goodness. Uh-huh. Yeah. I know. Yeah. And I had to, when I found out, you know, I had to go to a shower at his house for, remember? Oh, that's right. And I thought, can I go or can I not? And then I was crying at the drop of a hat. Well, it's all the emotions that... I also had to call you before that happened so that you could... Decide. No, so that you wouldn't be like... An emotional... And Michelle wanted to call you before then so that way, at the shower, you wouldn't be like going to Michelle saying, okay, you know, talk. Yeah. You know. Well, I decided I wasn't going to talk about it at the shower because then I would break down. Uh-huh. And Jenny, I talked a little bit in the house with her, but other than that... You know, Sandy, the only picture I have of you on Facebook is with red hair. Yes. No, and then the hat. That real fancy hat. And I thought, oh, I fit into this family because that's so me. You know, you fit in. Once a year in May, a group of us always have this hat thing. Uh-huh. And that was my first year, and I found out a day ahead of time, and I thought, what have I got here? And I had almost never... I'll show you it because it is just great. I won the trophy, baby. Yes. Her hat was like about this much longer. You know, that was funny because I'm walking into the restaurant with that hat, and people are like, oh, stop. Yeah, so it's been fun to look on Facebook. Yeah. Uh-huh. And look at pictures and the photos and all that. Uh-huh. Yeah, I don't know. I just post a lot of photos. I ain't. No, but David does. And David and I had talked a long time. He told us about it. Before. Yeah, and I've got it. I can't wait. I thought you were scamming him when you asked. I know, when I asked about Ancestry. Well, no, I thought when you said, hey, can you get me in touch with your mom? I'm like, yeah. Yes. I'm like, okay, she's a scammer. I actually stopped talking to her for a long time. For several months. Yeah. And I'm like, dang, I was too forceful. I should have just, you know, and I just wanted to, I'm typing, you know, I just wanted to bust out and tell you, but I couldn't do that because I grew up because, um, see, I thought Jeannie didn't want to meet me because they had us mixed up. You tell the story. What happened? So, well, when I was in college, my senior paper was on adoption. Who are we? Are we genetics or our environment? And so at that time I contacted Catholic social services where I was placed and I asked them for any information I could have. And they gave me, they didn't give names, but they said how tall she was. She told, they told all about me, about the birth, about the, you know, everything. And, uh. You probably know more than you do about the birth. So then, um, but the mom didn't want to meet me at that time. I said, okay. So then I tried again when I was probably in my thirties thinking, well, time has passed. Maybe she would. Nope. She said no. And so I did again last year. One more time. No, but see, that's what I had in my heart that she didn't want to meet me. So that's why I didn't just come out and blurt out to David who I was. I'm surprised that they told you that because when you were born, she gave you at that time a very unusual name. Christina. Christina Ann. Mm-hmm. So when Jeannie and I were talking the first night, she said, you know, I always thought your birthday was May 14th. And I've always thought it was May 11th. And so, so that was that. And then I said, how come you decided to do DNA when we had contacted you and you said no? And Jeannie said, whoo, I never got contacted. She said they contacted her about three times. And then when I asked about, no, when I asked about the birth name, she said Christina Ann. And I always thought it was Catherine Marie. And my middle name is Marie. My parents kept the middle name. And so I called Catholic Charities the next day or emailed them. Got a call within about 20 minutes after I emailed them. And we were talking and they said, well, DNA does not lie. This has to be it. What's your birth mom's name? And I told them, and it was dead silence on the phone because that is not who was on my birth certificate. So what had happened was this little girl that was born May 11, the mom wasn't sure she wanted to give up the baby, so kept the baby. I was, you know, for a while. I was born on May 14. Then this little girl and myself went to the St. James Orphanage together. And that's when it was switched. Isn't that crazy? But it was divine intuition. Oh, it so was. Because if this mother had said, yes, I want to meet her, we would never, I don't think we would have. No, we would never have done DNA. And I didn't, you know, why I didn't look for her, where was I going to find her? She didn't know what agency I went to. No, I thought it was through Brook Memorial. Yeah. I didn't even, I probably signed papers saying I want her raised Catholic or something like that. Or your mom did or something. Yeah, but, yeah, and I was, you know, when you do Catholic charities, oh, okay, you know. So I wouldn't have known her. Yeah, or if the other girl wanted to meet you and you bonded with her. Yeah. You know, it could have been a big mistake. Plus, I know that I was supposed to be in this family. You know, I know God was probably going, uh, mm-mm, we got to switch these up. Well, you know, we were talking, I was talking about that in the car. Gina and I would talk once in a while and I said, what are you going to do? Knock, knock, hello, I'm your daughter. Uh-huh. And she said, I will open my arms and say, hug her and say, welcome. That's what I wrote yesterday. You better get well because I waited a long time. Yes. You know, I've got that quick wit. I know, I do. I have a quick wit. I, you know, think of answers real fast. Sometimes it gets me in trouble, though. Well, that's all right. Troubles, that's, that's okay. So, but we have a lot of things that we're alike. Uh-huh. Our likes and our dislikes are. Mm-hmm. Do you ever, oh yeah, you do that. You do that too? Yeah. Mm-hmm. And you know, Anna Lee said, uh, when she really thought. That's one of my cousins I've met. You resembled me, it's your, your. Mannerism, that's what she said. Mannerism. Mm-hmm, that's what she said. And this is for you. Oh, oh my goodness. That's your birthstone. My birthstone. Oh. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness, thank you so much. It's beautiful. I wanted to give that to you because I've missed a lot of years. Oh, it's so beautiful. Isn't it gorgeous? Well. You can try it on. I will wear it. Oh, look at it, it looks quite gorgeous. I bet, oh, I bet it does with the black and the. Oh, it is gorgeous. Perfect. Oh. Yeah. You know, the first time we talked on the phone, it was two and a half hours. And you know, the beauty part about it was, I thought, oh, when we talked out in the back, this is going to be awkward, you know, and I got to explain everything. And it wasn't at all. We just, like, we knew each other forever. For sure. And we laugh a lot on the phone. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I just wish she would call me more. You know, I wish. Just like any mother. I keep waiting for the call. Well, the same thing, I wish David would call me more, too. I got it on Facebook, a message from you. That I wrote in September. Okay. And she got it in, right before the shower. No, right before Easter, that's right. Lynn, what was your message? That I said, and again, remember, I didn't know she wanted to meet me. So I had said, this may be coming at an inopportune time. And I sent one to Sandy, too. And it just said, I would like to thank you on this side of heaven if I have that opportunity. I never got that. Oh, it's there. Really? Yeah, yeah. That I would like to meet you on this side of heaven if it is possible. And I just want to say thank you. And so then after I got that message, David called me. What, can I ask how you felt reading a message like that? Oh, you know, I thought, well, we're going to meet. I just didn't know how. And then when I, then David calls me and says, Mom. He has a little bit, he said something a little different. But I remember him saying, Mom, do you know a Lynn Cooper? And I said, because I hadn't told him yet. So now I was uncomfortable because he knew nothing. And so I said, well, no. And then he said, I said, yes, I do. She's my daughter. But David remembers it a little different. You can tell your side now. I called her up and I said, so, I have a sister. Not that I know of. I'm like, okay, well, I got my DNA test back and it's pretty positive. I said, well, then Dad must have had something going on on the side. And at that point, I don't think she wanted my dad's name to, you know. So she goes, well, back then, and that's what it kind of said to me. And then she told me everything and I'm like, okay, great. You know, you didn't have to wait so long. Well, you know, the thing is, when we didn't tell, my husband and his dad and I didn't tell him when he was little because how do you explain it to a child that he had a sister. But she's not here. But we decided to give her up. And then when he was 11, his dad passed away. And I had a hard time with that. And then I was going through depression. And I had to raise him. I had to go to school. And I just didn't give it much thought. You know, I got to tell him about this. Because, first of all, I didn't know where to find her. And I didn't know, as he got older, I didn't know what he would think about me. And if we couldn't find her, what difference would it make at that point? But now that DNA is here, you know, and I'm really glad you found me. You know? But I just, you know, in those days, and we're talking 56 years ago, if you got pregnant and you weren't married, it's a scarlet letter. Right. You know, and that home was filled with girls. It wasn't just a few happening, too. So it was kept secret. And I know several families that this has happened to, and it's never been talked about. It never was talked about ever again. No. Mom never talked to me about it then. And her mother never talked to me after that. But we would visit, and Jeannie doesn't recall this, but we would drive to Omaha like about once every two or three weeks to visit her. And Mother would bring her crafts to do to keep her occupied. She doesn't remember that. No. I don't remember a lot. It's just a big blank. I think your mind protects you from trauma. Oh, yes. It certainly does. I remember the things I told you. I remember, like, we were at breakfast, all the girls, and then they were giving us. Now, why I would remember this, who knows? But we had this little iron pill, and they said, We need to make sure you take this. It's important. Then the other thing that is kind of ironic now, which makes me laugh, is then in the afternoon there was a little grocery store about a block away, maybe, and we would all put on our fake wedding bands and go to the store. Isn't it just awful? Because we thought then the people would think we were married. And here comes a bunch of pregnant girls. The home is right down the street. You think they didn't know? Oh. So that makes me laugh. And then the other thing, I remember Mom and Sandy coming. I only remember one. Isn't that funny? I have no memory of this. And as far as Lynn being born, I remember I went into labor earlier in the morning, and the delivery room was on the third floor. I remember them taking me up, and I think they must have put me to sleep because that was it. Yeah. You know. But she did tell me, she said, I had a baby girl, and I've named her Christina Ann. Oh. An unusual name in case she wants to find me. Yes. She told me that. Oh. So I always knew your name. And I think that living with Mom and Dad, well, of course, in those times, you know, other people were having the same problems. It's not just my mother and father. Right. But, you know, I don't think I could have come home with the baby. And a small town and a Catholic town, I mean, there's a lot to it. You know, so judgmental. Right. And I think that you were indoctrinated. I carried the secret for 66 years, for God's sake. And I thought of you and your birthday, and I thought, oh, this year she's going to be whatever. And I wonder if she got a good home. Very good sister. And you did. I did. Very good home. But then I'm happy. You know, I look forward to the calls. And after she found out and David found out, and the day before she was going to the shower, she called me. We cried together. And she said, I have to go to that shower. What do you think? Do you think I can handle it? And I said, well, let's keep talking. Get all the crying out now. That sounds like you. But Sandy and I have always been real close. And, you know, if something's going on, we'll be there for one another. OK. Next year, my husband and I are renting a small RV. Oh. Because we have a dog named Brandy, and she's a golden, but she's older. And we can't leave her in a kennel, so that way we can travel with her. And we'll be coming to my brother and Carol. And then Sandy and I. Everyone can come down. Yeah. And the dog. And I thought we would spend a few days at Lynn's house. Yeah. You know, that would be great. This is so hard. I love you. Thank you. And I love you. And thank you for what you did. You were so brave and so courageous back then. I don't know about now, but. Yes, you were, to do this. And thank you because I had a wonderful life. I missed you, but I had a wonderful life. And I know I'm going to have an amazing life to come with you in it. Yes. So thank you. Me too. It was hard, but we did it. Yeah, and I love you. I love you.