Jack accused of being Straight? (Matt Damon Guest Stars) | Will & Grace

Wishing and hoping and thinking and praying Planning and dreaming each night of his charms That won't get you into his arms So if you're looking to find love You can share All you gotta do is hold him and kiss him And show him that you care Show him that you care just for him Do the things he likes to do Wear your hair just for him Cause you won't get him Thinking and hoping Wishing and praying Lying and cheating Tubby and a tone deaf Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Can't take it anymore! This man is straight! You're crazy, I'm as gay as the locker room at the Ice Capades. This is just your pathetic attempt to eliminate the competition. And besides, I think Jack is the straight one. I have never been accused of something so heinous! How dare you, sir! You are an imposter! And I have a woman who he made out with who can be here in five minutes. That's right, five minutes, because she has no life. Tell him to... Okay, I'm straight. And it was wrong of me to deceive you guys. It's just that I love to sing. I love to sing choral music. It makes me feel like I'm being gently chucked under the chin by God. But there's no room for a straight man in that world. You don't know how hard it is for me to fit in. The looks, the murmurs behind my back, I mean, I know what they're saying. Ooh, he likes girls. So I tried to pass as gay. It was wrong, I'm sorry. All I wanted was to sing and be accepted. And maybe dance a little too. Cry all you want, straightie. This is the gay men's chorus. Who cares about choral music? We just want to go to Europe and shower together. And you can't come. Yes, he can. Confuse me? We here at the chorus have a policy of tolerance. We used to have a policy of openness, but that got too many giggles. You should be ashamed of yourself. Congratulations, Owen. You're going to Europe. Don't change your hair. And we're sharing a room. You know, you may have won, but I still have my dignity. I don't have to pretend to be anything other than who I am. What do you have? I have a free trip to Europe, a huge per diem, and a chance of singing in all the best venues in the world. And a winning smile. Perhaps. But I still get to sleep with men.