Finding Your True Self: A Love Story

You have arrived. You are home. It refers to a feeling we carry with us in each and every step. What is home? It's not a physical place. It's anywhere we feel safe and at peace. What is arriving? It is the setting down of our baggage and letting our mind rest. Love yourself first. It's not selfish. If, alternatively, you are coming from a place of feeling like the world has tested you enough, do not despair over your struggles, for you are blessed with the strength to lift others up. Whether you see it or not, whether you wished for it or not, you have been chosen by the universe as its light messenger. Your light will be a beacon of hope for so many. Whenever you feel the most down, most conflicted, most angry, most hurt, or most upset, do this one simple thing. Ask yourself, where is the lesson? You cannot be both upset and curious at the same time. The problem is, no situation will ever be perfect because the source of our discontent doesn't lie in external circumstances. It lies in the mind. It is the mind which generates the stories of our lives. It is the mind that obsesses over problems or fixates on wants and desires. It is the mind that will continue to find problems no matter how quote unquote perfect our lives look on paper. We want what we don't have. We don't appreciate what we do have. We resent people who have more, and we feel superior to those who have less. This is a losing game to play that only causes misery. There is never enough if we play the chasing, accumulating, and showing off game. If you have a million dollars, you are jealous of a billion dollars. If you have a billion dollars, you are jealous of the ten billion dollar guy. If you are the ten billion dollar guy, maybe all you want is a real friend who tells you the truth and doesn't want anything from you. There is never enough pleasure in the world to overcome inner dissatisfaction. When we're going through a difficult time, it becomes extremely hard to see any good that can come from our suffering. But the nature of reality is that struggles help us reach our true potential. There can be no success without failure, and there can be no achievement without defeat. Sometimes, our greatest difficulty is our greatest gift. All we can do is trust in the universe and keep looking for that rainbow at the end of the storm. You are not your thoughts. You are not your past. You are not your failings. You are not your suffering. You are not the story you tell yourself about yourself. It's like when we get lost in the story of a movie. But if we just turn our heads around to look at the projector, suddenly what's on the screen doesn't matter so much. If we feel like we're in the movie, danger is everywhere. Once we realize that we are safe and sound in the movie theater, we can sit back and enjoy the show. We are the viewers of this earth show. You are consciousness able to perceive and act upon this world with your body and brain. You are the stardust of billions of stars. You are your ancestors and future generations. You are the trees you breathe, the earth that sustains you, and the sun which warms and lights your path. You are the universe, and the universe is you. You were never in the past, and you will never be in the future. You are this moment, this one, eternal, ever-present moment. The story we created in our minds of how some experience traumatized us, how it changed us forever, and how that story became a part of our identity, we can finally start to let it go because that traumatic event no longer exists, except as the burning embers of a once raging fire, and it is not serving us to hold on to it. Pain can be our greatest friend and even our greatest teacher. If we have the courage and clarity of mind to look at it soberly, we can see its lessons and even its beauty. This is how the universe works. There is no punishment, only lessons. We can see how we put up walls to defend our ego, but in reality those walls only end up building our own mental prison. But when we also become aware of our light of consciousness within, which is always observing the you show, peacefully and calmly, lovingly and joyfully, and recognizing all the stuff that happens as the dance of forms and sounds that make up our experience of life in this universe, all we have to do is step back and enjoy the light show, this roller coaster of life, the ups and downs, and appreciate the richness that is our life, the good and the bad. For many people, suffering is a path to liberation, although it's not usually the chosen path. Once people have had enough suffering, oftentimes they are able to effortlessly let go of the story they have been telling themselves about their suffering and suddenly they are free. Suffering is not the only way to liberation, but I love seeing, time and time again, that this doorway to peace is often opened when people least expect but need it the most. For it is only when we are forced to the brink that we can see clearly our two options, drop the story or drop off the cliff. Hopefully, before you even get to the brink, you can remember that while the suffering is caused by the story, calling that story into question is the first step toward peace. Sometimes when we make a big life decision, whether it's quitting a job or moving cities, we are trying to run away from ourselves. We hope the next job or the next town will save us, but in reality, we will still find the same problems wherever we go because we can never run away from ourselves. So face your fears. Be patient and enjoy the journey. The more you love being with yourself, the more you will love every place you will go. There is a Buddhist practice to die before you die. We can all let things finish before they finish. Let things break before they break. The only way to fully live is to let go of our fear of death. The only way to enjoy things is by accepting their loss before losing it. In this way, we can appreciate the fleeting nature of all things. This doesn't make us appreciate the present moment less, it helps us appreciate the present moment so much more because there is no fear of loss, no fear of rejection, and no fear of betrayal because we have already accepted the truth of reality that absolutely everything and anything will change and eventually end. This isn't depressing, it's liberating. Most of us carry so much baggage and negativity everywhere we go. We are constantly reliving our worst moments in our mind, or we're constantly living in the worst possible imagined future. So much of our lives are wasted obsessing over negative past experiences or anticipating disastrous events in the future. What may have only been one second of misfortune can last a lifetime in our minds. The truth is that this fixation on negativity doesn't help, it hurts. Instead, we can choose something more positive and useful to put our focus on. We can choose to live in the moment. We can choose to focus on all the things we're grateful for and all the beauty in the world. Ultimately, the choice is ours. Heaven and hell both exist right here, right now. Which one we decide to spend our time in is completely up to us. It's never too late to try something new. There are no rules set on us except the ones we set on ourselves. There are no limits except the ones we imagine. We're never too old, it's never too late. As you start this new adventure, and as you see the progress over time, you'll know the journey was worth it. Even if we feel we are making no progress, we may be improving in subtle ways constantly. We can feel like we're not getting the hang of a new musical instrument, and then a week later we, to our surprise, realize how easy it is to learn a new song. Often what seems like failure can contain within it the seeds of success. There is always a lesson, even if it is just learning to let go. Every struggle makes us stronger. So go forth into the great unknown, with its many challenges and obstacles, with optimism and courage. The perfect life isn't free from struggle. The perfect life is free from the idea that it's supposed to be perfect. But once we understand that success and failure are nothing more than the framing of a story in our mind, we can become fearless with our dreams. Because failure is only failure if we think of it as failure. But we can all get back up. Unless we give up and stay on the floor, there is no such thing as failure. A work of art is never finished. Neither are you. Everything always works out in the end, mainly because there is no end and there is no beginning. Life sorts itself out. Every plant grows, and every stream flows, effortlessly and peacefully. So too, our true nature is to flow and grow. Whatever we cling to or push away only builds resistance. When we let go and flow, all suffering ceases. If you don't like the movie of life right now, keep watching. It never stays the same for too long. Find nothing to be happy about. Nearly every second of our lives is devoted to seeking out happiness, and yet most of us are pretty bad at finding lasting happiness. So how do we find something to be happy about? Well, it's not in cars, or mansions, or millions. The only sustainable answer to the happiness question is to find nothing to be happy about. True happiness can never come from anything outside of us. The reality of life is change. It goes up, and it goes down. And then it goes back up again. This is because contained within every good thing is its eventual demise. And within every painful experience comes its inevitable end. Life doesn't come with a guidebook. There's no instruction manual. You only have this one life. Your life is yours and no one else's. Everyone else has their life. So how will you write your life story? What will you do with your days and nights so that you can look back and know that you lived it to the fullest? I for one can't wait to see all the amazing things you will do. Wear your scars proud, my friend. For you can do anything.