This Simple Idea Will Change How You Think About Your Entire Life - Mark Nepo

Everyone will be given the chance to be dropped into the depth of life. And how we meet that depth is when our journey truly begins. I think I've come to understand that to surrender is to cooperate with truth. And this requires us, there's a great Buddhist practice, which is very simple but very hard, and that is to see things as they are. When we can see things as they are, we have a better chance of cooperating with truth. And that ties in acceptance. So we need to first accept that something's no longer working. So we see that, oh, I do need to put this down. I do need to discover a new way to be. And so, you know, in the Taoist tradition, and the Tao simply means the way, this early Chinese, wonderful, I love that kind of world view. And their image is that, you know, the life is like an invisible river. There are all these currents, and every soul is like a fish in that river. And the purpose of our will is not to conquer the river. It's to find the current so they can take you. That's kind of, I think, what it is to surrender and cooperate with truth. You know, this is the difference between pushing and tending. You know, when I insist on something too much, I'm pushing against the current of life. Rather than asking, where is this current, you know, taking me? Am I, am I, you know, rejecting the heron that's come in my path? Am I insisting on carrying the raft? And this is where fear can take over. Well, I don't smell any water, but just in case I'm going to carry this raft everywhere I go. And then it's twice as hard to go anywhere. And then I start to resent the raft. But what's making me carry it? My fear. So surrender is, how do we give up and right-size the fear? So all these things we've been talking about, they all go together in how do we inhabit a personal spiritual practice that helps us live in the world. Spirit, what we carry in us is a portion of universal spirit. And that comes alive and animates in us. And love is the way it comes from the mystery into us and into the world. I think the soul, which is a portion, that's what we call the portion of universal spirit. Other traditions call it dharma, atman, all kinds of things, holy ghost, whatever. You know, but that portion of spirit in us, again, it simply wants to be as alive as possible. So I think the way we put wood on a fire, we pour care on the soul. And I don't think the soul cares what we care about as long as we care. And this is where giving and loving, not only does it help our relationship, but it is the kind of a prerequisite to feeling our kinship with all things. It's not by accident that the word kinship and kind have the same root. Whenever we're kind, we experience our kinship with everything. And so, you know, love is a kind of a way of life when we keep giving and keep caring. And we grow through doing that. You know, one of my small poems, it's just a few lines. It goes, the mystery is that whoever shows up when we dare to give has exactly what we need hidden in their trouble. You know, I can't tell you how many times I've gone to give and help and trip and discover I'm the one who needs help. You know, another image that I use when speaking about gifts is that, you know, like a wooden match. So we all know that the flame is dormant in the tip of that match and it doesn't reveal light or warmth until it strikes against the surface. Well, I think our gifts are like that, and they don't reveal themselves until they strike against the needs of the world. There's also a great story about a guy, he really wants to be a philanthropist, but he doesn't have any money, so he'd like to work for a philanthropy. He puts his resume in, and he has an interview set up. And on the way to the interview, as he's crossing the street to this big, big building in New York, this older woman falls down, skins her knee. He helps her up, and he winds up taking her to the emergency room, and he misses his interview. So he reschedules the appointment. Next time he's on his way to the appointment, and as he's crossing a park now to get, all of a sudden, a dog runs loose in front of him. And soon after, a little six-year-old's running after the dog, and then there's a father trying to catch the six-year-old, and there's all this traffic. So he winds up helping the girl and the father, getting the dog, and he misses the interview again. Well, the organization says, well, you're irresponsible. We're not even going to give you an interview. You can't keep an interview. Forget it. And then he, you know, sits on the bench, and he says, gee, I wish I could be of help, if I could only be of help. And so, again, following our heart, following our heart wherever it leads. And there's another thing about love and giving that I've learned, and that is that the mind can only take us so far. It's a great tool, an amazing tool, as far as we know, unlike any other creatures. And that's our gift and our curse. And, you know, one of the things that happened to me during my cancer journey was, before my cancer journey, I was way up in my head too much. And not to any wisdom on my part, but afterwards, it all dropped down here. And ever since, my mind has served my heart and not the other way around. And so one of the things I've learned is, you know, I value the mind. I'm grateful for my mind. But I've discovered quite by accident that when I can't penetrate things or solve things with my mind, if I give, I see differently. Other things come on the scene. And I learned this quite by accident because I was struggling with something. I can't remember what it is now. And right at that time, a friend needed me, called me up, I dropped everything, went to help them. And after giving, things were a lot more clear because I had engaged my heart. So there were lots of rewards. Not only can giving clear our mind, giving can enhance and loving can enhance our relationship and give us access to our kinship with all things. That's how powerful the conduit of care and loving is. And so that allows us not to write our story, but to live our story.