I Made The Best Chinese Takeout Meal Ever

At this point, Chinese takeout has become a staple in American culture. The thing I really love about Chinese takeout is that it's one of the only things, specifically in American culture, that's actually about a whole meal. It's never just the one. It's the rice. It's the noodles. It's the side dishes. It's the chicken. It's the beef. Having all of that in one experience. Maybe one of the few things that the family sits down to eat together. Which begs an extremely important question, which is, what is the perfect combination? So I asked you, the audience, I did a poll on my Instagram. We asked you to vote on your favorite Chinese dishes in five separate categories. So I'm taking the winners of each category, I'll show you how to make them all at home perfectly so that they're just as good, if not better, than most Chinese takeout restaurants. And at the end, we'll find out our favorite dish and determine, is this the perfect Chinese takeout meal at home? Let's begin. So we're starting off with the greatest simple homemade egg rolls. Before we actually make these egg rolls, obviously you'll serve them with a sweet chili sauce. You could easily buy this at the store, but come on, we're gonna make our own. And it's honestly not that hard. So here's how you do it. In a small saucepan, add one and a half cups or 300 grams of granulated sugar, half a cup or 120 milliliters of water, one cup or 240 milliliters of white distilled vinegar, half a cup or 120 milliliters of fish sauce, half a cup or 20 grams of dried Korean chilies, five whole peeled cloves of garlic, two green onions, rough chopped, place it on the stove, bring it to a boil over medium high heat, and then place either a lid or a cartouche on top. Reduce the heat to low and simmer for 10 to 15 minutes or until everything is completely softened. Transfer all that to a blender and blend on high until as smooth as possible. Transfer to a bowl, cool it down, and you have, I would argue, one of the most delicious sweet chili-inspired sauces that there is. Forewarning, fish sauce is stinky when you make it. Now, egg rolls. The filling is everything. It is the beating heart, the soul of the egg roll. So use the highest quality, one pound or 450 grams of ground pork you can possibly find. I want it high fat. Okay? None of that lean ground bullsh**. And if you have a meat grinder, great, but you're basically just gonna grind one pound of a boneless, fatty Boston butt. I will say, this is obviously the benefit of grinding your own. I chose to grind my pork two times to make sure the filling was extra fine. You obviously don't have to do that. You also don't even have to grind it yourself if you don't want to. I just like to control my product. Heat a large pan or pot over medium high heat. Add just enough oil to coat the bottom of the pan. Add in your ground pork and smash that down to get full contact. Let that sear for about two minutes. Let it sear to get some browning and use a hand masher to break up the pork as finely as possible. Let the pork continue to cook, stirring often until you get little crispy brown bits like this. Pop one of those in your mouth, brother. Woo! Don't go to flavor town. Once that's brown, reduce the heat to medium. Into that pot, you're gonna add a one-inch knob of ginger, grated, two green onions, thinly sliced, the whites and the greens. Four cloves of garlic, grated. Cook that for one to two minutes, then add one teaspoon or four grams of MSG, a quarter teaspoon or one gram of ground white pepper, one teaspoon or four grams of granulated sugar, one tablespoon or 15 grams of Shaoxing wine, two tablespoons or 30 grams of soy sauce, one teaspoon or four grams of toasted sesame oil, one tablespoon or 15 grams of oyster sauce, two carrots that have been shredded, two cups of cabbage, thinly sliced. Increase the heat to high and cook, tossing often, just until the vegetables are softened, about two to four minutes. Turn the heat off and transfer your cooked filling to a sheet tray to cool completely. The rest is extremely easy. All you need is an egg roll wrapper. Obviously, you can make them yourself. Roll wrappers made at home, not always worth the squeeze. So, find the finest quality you can or make them at home if you wish. Lay an egg roll wrapper in front of you with one of the corners facing you. Lightly wet the edges with water. Place three to four tablespoons of your filling, slightly off-center, towards you. Start by folding the bottom point up and over the filling. Fold the left and the right side over, and before you close this up, wet the tip of a finger and lightly dab the top point of the egg roll wrapper. Close and finish rolling all the way up to seal completely. Now, rinse and repeat that process with all of your egg roll wrappers and filling until everything has been used up, and then fry at 350 degrees Fahrenheit and 175 degrees Celsius in a deep fryer or in a pot filled with vegetable oil until the most beautiful blistered GBD egg roll I think I've ever seen emerges. About two to four minutes. Remove, transfer to a wire rack to drain, and repeat with all of your egg rolls. Serve with your sweet chili and enjoy. Moving on to our second appetizer, potstickers. This is by far the highest winner of the appetizer category with nearly 40% of the vote. So first, we need to start with that classic salty, slightly sweet, and sour dipping sauce. So in a small bowl, add half a cup or 120 milliliters of soy sauce, a quarter cup or 60 grams of Chinese black vinegar, one teaspoon or four grams of sesame oil, two teaspoons or eight grams of mirin, one and a half teaspoons or six grams of honey, one Thai chili thinly sliced, and a quarter cup or 60 grams of rice wine vinegar. Give it a little whisk together, and that's your sauce. Let's talk filling. This is a much simpler filling than the last. So first, you're gonna need a quarter of a head of green cabbage thinly sliced. Lightly season that with salt, and give it a nice little massage. Feel the little threads of cabbage. Squeeze out the excess moisture and discard that liquid. Then mix that into one pound or 450 grams of a high-fat ground pork. Add in four green onions thinly sliced, three cloves of garlic finely chopped, a one and a half inch knob of ginger grated, two teaspoons or eight grams of soy sauce, and optionally season with a light pinch of salt to taste. Mix and knead that by hand until completely incorporated and tacky. Now, the assembly of these are simple. First, you'll need to lay out a dumpling wrapper. Gosh, what if I want to make it at home? Hey, guess what, sweetheart? I have a recipe for making your own dumpling wrappers from scratch, and the link for that will be in the description. Obviously, you can also use store-bought. Fill that with a one to two teaspoon ball of your meat, and here's the folding technique. It's not as complicated as it looks, but it does take some practice. First, wet the entire border of your dumpling wrapper. You're gonna fold it like a taco and pinch right at the top of that taco in the center, leaving two open split ends. Now, on each open split end, you will crimp and fold one side, not both sides, of your dumpling wrapper over itself three times, sealing it against the other half of your taco, which should leave you with one sealed side. Repeat that on the other side, and now you have a crimped, beautiful dumpling. Repeat that with all of your dumplings. Look at these little thangs. Now, heat a 10-inch nonstick pan over medium heat. Add two tablespoons or 30 grams of neutral-tasting oil, such as canola. Once that's hot, add as many potstickers as you can fit in the pan. Be careful not to overcrowd. They need to be in a single layer only and have full contact with the pan, which should be around eight to 12. Now, let those cook for two to four minutes or until the undersides of them are a beautiful GBD. Now, here's the steaming secret. Quickly add a quarter cup of water. It should immediately boil, and immediately add a lid to steam for anywhere between two to four minutes or until the water is completely evaporated and your dumplings are cooked through. Now, for the finishing touch. Drizzle with one and a half teaspoons or six grams of toasted sesame oil over the dumplings, just a tiny bit. Transfer to a plate and serve with your sauce. Obviously, if you want to get real naughty, you can put a little chile oil or chili crisp on it and garnish with thinly sliced green onion. Bonjour. On to the noodle portion of our meal. We're going with a classic lo mein, vegetable only, but obviously you could add protein if you want. This won 40% of the vote for the noodle category. Chow mein was in second place with 35%. Thankfully, we have a recipe for chow mein, by the way, which is also the link in the description, but this lo mein is really what we're talking about. So first, we need our lo mein sauce. Very basic. In a small mixing bowl, add two tablespoons or 30 grams of dark soy sauce, one tablespoon or 15 grams of Shaoxing wine, one teaspoon or four grams of brown white pepper, half a teaspoon or two grams of toasted sesame oil, one and a half tablespoons or 22 grams of oyster sauce, two teaspoons or eight grams of water, and two teaspoons or eight grams of cornstarch. Don't skip the cornstarch, the thickening properties are a part of the recipe. Now you're going to need a big boy wok for this. Add two tablespoons or 30 grams of canola oil. Obviously, you can use a large pan if you don't have a wok. That's totally fine, but you will not get the wok hay, and we all know Uncle Roger's watching. Heat that over medium high heat, and once it is ripping hot, add two green onions sliced into one inch segments, three cups of cabbage thinly sliced, one large row of celery thinly sliced, one carrot julienne, and one cup or 120 grams of bean sprouts. Season that lightly with salt and stir fry just until the vegetables begin to soften, about 30 seconds to a minute. Then add six ounces or 170 grams of lo mein noodles. Now look, some lo mein noodles won't require cooking prior to stir frying, but if they do, please check the package directions to ensure you do it correctly. Now stir fry that just until the noodles are hot, another 45 seconds, and add a one inch knob of ginger grated, four cloves of garlic finely chopped. Add your sauce, toss to combine, transfer to a bowl, garnish with green onion, and enjoy. Not only was this one of the easiest, but it is also the fastest to make, and look at this thing. I know you want this. Next up, the rice category. There are many ways you can enjoy rice, but what was really the winner that came in with nearly 70% of all the votes for the rice category? No surprise, it's fried rice. Here's one of my most famous recipes. So in a small bowl, add two tablespoons or 30 grams of soy sauce, two teaspoons or eight grams of Shaoxing wine, one tablespoon or 15 grams of mirin, half a teaspoon or two grams of ground white pepper, half a teaspoon or two grams of MSG, and one teaspoon or four grams of sesame oil. Give that a whisk, put it to the side, and now we're going to make a very quick, very delicious, very simple fried rice. Crack three eggs into a small mixing bowl, whisk together to combine, have those ready for you. You will use them soon. Get a wok and heat it over medium-high heat. Add two tablespoons or 30 grams of canola oil, or really any neutral oil, I don't care, you could use avocado oil, I don't know, I'm trying to save y'all money. If I say avocado oil, then people go, oh yeah, I don't want to spend money on avocado. Okay, then fine. So once that's hot, add one shallot thinly sliced, one carrot finely diced, the whites of three green onions thinly sliced, season to taste with salt, stir fry that for about 30 seconds. Then optionally, you can add a half pound or 225 grams of a cooked protein if you wish. I have some of this cooked char siu pork, which I have a recipe for, the link is in the description for that as well. Now cook that another minute to get some browning on the meat, and the veg is softened. Now push all that stuff to one side of the wok, and tilt the wok in a way that the empty side is being blasted with your flame, bruv. Add a little extra vegetable oil to the pan, if needed. Add your beaten eggs to the empty side of the pan, let those cook just until the eggs are set. Good to season them lightly with salt. Then once they're set, chop your scrambled egg up into small pieces, toss together, then add in three cups of rice that has been cooked and chilled in the fridge overnight. Make sure that rice is broken up as much as possible, stir fry just until the rice is hot. Then add half a cup or 70 grams of frozen peas. Add in your sauce, stir fry for about 30 seconds, and add four cloves of garlic, finely chopped. Toss to combine, then cut off the heat, and garnish with your thinly sliced green onion tops. You know, the ones that you didn't add, because we just used the whites earlier, and that is your fried rice. Now you can't have a Chinese takeout meal without a couple entrees, and the first entree was beef and broccoli. So I thought, well, let's make the most OG delicious beef and broccoli we can make at home. So first, slice one pound or 450 grams of flank steak as thinly as possible. I'm cutting this on a bias to get wider thin slices. Now in a large bowl, you're going to velvet the beef. To do that, toss your beef with one teaspoon or four grams of baking soda, and let that sit for 20 minutes in the refrigerator. You can also skip the velveting process if you want, but if you want that classic Chinese takeout how is this beef so tender question mark, you're going to do the velveting process. Next, assemble your beef and broccoli sauce in a small bowl by combining one teaspoon or four grams of dark soy sauce, two tablespoons or 30 grams of regular soy sauce, one and a half teaspoons or six grams of white distilled vinegar, half a teaspoon or two grams of ground white pepper, one tablespoon or 15 grams of granulated sugar, a half-inch knob of ginger grated, one tablespoon or 15 grams of oyster sauce, and whisk until combined. It's time to cook this thing, brother. So heat a large wok over medium-high heat, add about two to three tablespoons of vegetable oil, and once that's ripping hot, add two crowns worth of broccoli florets, season with salt to taste, and half an onion thinly sliced, season with a little more salt to taste just to bring out that water from the onion, and stir-fry for two minutes. I want a little bit of color on that broccoli, and I want a little bit of crunch left in the broccoli. Do not overcook it. Remove that from the wok, add in some additional vegetable oil, another two to three tablespoons or so. Now typically, people would rinse the beef after the velveting process. Honestly, I skip it oftentimes, but if you want to rinse it, you can. Toss your beef in half a cup or 60 grams of cornstarch, shake off the excess, add your beef to the wok. Once you get your browning on one side of the beef, stir-fry for about a minute, then add your broccoli and onions back to the wok, followed by your sauce. Stir-fry for one more minute, then cut off the heat, finish with four cloves of finely chopped garlic, toss, and serve in a bowl. That is it. And finally, our most voted for line item, more specifically, our final entree, the one that everybody loves, and the one that surprisingly beat out orange chicken. It is General Tso's chicken. So let's make this easy. In a large mixing bowl, add one and a half pounds or 675 grams of boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into one-inch pieces, two teaspoons or eight grams of salt, one tablespoon or 15 grams of soy sauce, one tablespoon or 15 grams of Shaoxing wine, one-inch knob of ginger, finely chopped, two cloves of garlic, finely chopped, toss that together and let that marinate for at least one hour in the fridge, but ideally overnight. In a separate large mixing bowl, you're going to combine half a cup or 60 grams of cornstarch, half a cup or 70 grams of all-purpose flour, season that lightly with salt, whisk that together, add your chicken to the dredge, shake the excess dredge off the chicken, and you're going to fry that in a deep fryer or in a pot filled with vegetable oil that's been heated to 350 degrees Fahrenheit or 175 degrees Celsius. You want this to reach a beautiful GBD, which will take anywhere from between three to five minutes. See that? That looks like something special out there. Now, remove that from your fry oil. So transfer that to a paper towel-lined baking tray to drain, season lightly with salt, and now we're going to make our sauce. So first, mix one tablespoon or 15 grams of cornstarch and one and a half tablespoons or 22 grams of white distilled vinegar together in a small bowl, then heat a large wok over high heat. I know we're using two pots here, but I'm telling you, the wok toss is important here. Add just enough vegetable oil to coat the wok, about two tablespoons, once that thing is reaping hot. Add a two-inch knob of ginger, finely chopped, four cloves of garlic, finely chopped, and five dried red chilies, you know, like a Korean chili, and one teaspoon or four grams of Sichuan chili flake. Stir-fry that just until the Korean chilies begin to toast, which will take anywhere between 10 to 30 seconds, then immediately add three tablespoons or 45 grams of granulated sugar, half a cup or 120 milliliters of chicken stock, three tablespoons or 45 grams of soy sauce, one tablespoon or 15 grams of Shaoxing wine. Once that comes up to a boil, which should only take a few seconds, add your cornstarch vinegar slurry, followed by your chicken, and then constantly toss until it's completely coated in the most beautiful, luxurious lacquer of a sauce. Pop that chicken in a bowl, garnish with toasted sesame seeds and thinly sliced green onions. Hopefully, this ends up concluding the perfect Chinese takeout meal. First, I'm gonna find out which our favorites are. I feel like we gotta start with the fried rice just because it's like the iconic centerpiece of a Chinese takeout meal. Yeah, I normally have fried rice with like a ton of soy sauce mixed in, but this is still very balanced. It's got that classic restaurant taste to it. This is like childhood nostalgia on a plate. Everything about fried rice is kind of everything you want in a Chinese takeout meal. There's texture, it's chewy rice, it's salty, you got umami from the MSG, a little sweetness, garlicky. It really is like the perfect dish, but I don't know that it's my favorite. Now, moving on to General Tso's chicken, another certified food classic. I like General Tso's chicken, right? It's kind of like the same vibe as orange chicken, but just more flavor. It's got a spiciness to it. It's not too sweet. It's saltier. There's also just like the general flavor of the pepper is really what makes this dish. All right, before we go to the last main, let's move on to an appetizer, the egg roll. This is a classic. Give a little dunk in the sauce. That sauce just takes it up another level. Yeah, that sauce is not fair. The sweet chili you're used to is like the sugary, a little tinge of spiciness, red sauce that we're used to seeing in a packet or in a little mini deli sauce container. This is crack. This is essentially that in the sense of you've got the sweetness and the spiciness, but there is so much labor compacted into that. It's got like an oceanic quality to it. It's the fish sauce, but it doesn't taste like fish. Making egg rolls at home should be a standard. I'm telling you, this out of anything so far is the most worth making yourself. This redefined what egg rolls are for me. I didn't know they could be this good homemade. I think I'm very used to how they are at restaurants, and this effort that you put in is really worth it. These set the bar like here, to the tippity top. For anybody thinking we're fluffing this s***, we're being real. This s*** is really f***ing good. Moving on to dumplings. Can't believe I'm poking this with a fork. What I will say is these will taste quite literally exactly like you would expect, but the texture is better because they're fresh made dough and they're made right in front of you. Now that being said, if you go to a restaurant that's making them fresh, you probably won't make them better, but you will make them just as good at home. I love the layering that you can do here. There's a lot of flavor on the inside, then you wrap that, and then you can layer texture and flavors on the outside. I think it's a great vehicle for flavor. Dumplings are one of the greatest things in the world. Cool, moving on. Lo mein! I love lo mein. It's a very sidestep dish to me. I like lo mein, but I don't love it. I think this would be a little more exciting if it was the first thing we ate, but we ate all these bangers, then we go to lo mein, and I think it's a reminder that lo mein is quite literally a side dish. I've been making a lot of noodles recently, and it's a very quick process. You just stir fry your veggies, you throw the noodles in there, you have a sauce, that's it. It's gonna take much less time than anything else here, but it's not as good, but it's still a great dish. Last but not least, beef and broccoli. I'm surprised Mongolian beef didn't win this one, but hey, we made beef and broccoli just for you, so you gotta get a piece of broccoli, piece of beef. Beef and broccoli is the secondary protein dish that you get when you say, we're going a little overboard right now, let's get something a little healthier that still tastes good. I like that it's not complicated. I like that it is quite literally tenderized, velvety beef that has a nice, rich, savory brown umami sauce, and some broccoli, that's it. The velveting adds a good texture, and it's a very classic Chinese takeout flavor. I came into today being like, beef and broccoli is pretty boring, and I'd rather have Mongolian beef. But honestly, after eating this, I can see the case for it. I don't typically order it, but I think now I will if it tastes anything like this. Meat and potatoes, beef and broccoli. We're gonna have two different voting rounds. One we're gonna vote which one is our favorite, and then the second and final vote will be, is this the perfect Chinese takeout meal at home? I'm gonna go with the General Tso's. I think it's an upgrade over what people like usually the most in America, orange chicken, but it's a lot deeper of a flavor, and it's the deepest flavor out of all of these. I think it's still really easy to make, and I think the time you put in is gonna be worth it for a flavor that you'll really enjoy. I'm gonna go with the egg roll. You know what's funny? Every single thing in front of us here is delicious. I'm surprised to say that I agree. It's the egg roll. The egg roll here by far is the best thing in front of us, and the only reason I say that is because there are other dishes that exist that are like General Tso's chicken, that are like fried rice, that are like beef and broccoli, that are like lo mein, that are like the dumplings. But I mean, let's be honest, a Chinese takeout egg roll, there's nothing better than this one right here. That is by far the best dish for me. Let's take our votes. Yes or no, is this the perfect takeout meal? Would there be something you would want to add to this if this was in front of you, or is this the one? Coming into today, I wanted to swap beef and broccoli with Mongolian beef, but I'm very happy with every single dish here. You have your protein, you have great appetizers, you have your starches. I feel like this is the perfect Chinese takeout meal. I'm gonna say no. I'm not a huge fan of lo mein, and for me, if I were gonna do a meal, I would do three appetizers. I would change out the lo mein for crab red beans. Honestly, I would probably replace the beef with Mongolian beef, just because I prefer it a little bit more over the beef and broccoli, but I wouldn't be upset if I got this. So in a way, this is a universal Chinese takeout meal. I would still call it a success. But if you want to make the perfect Chinese takeout meal at home, you have the things in front of us that you need to make it. I hope you enjoyed this. I love you. Subscribe, and goodbye.