Nothing means anything, if you don't have this

What do you think is the most important thing in life? We communicate to ourselves and to other people what is important through our actions really. And when we're going after things we have goals, we're moving towards outcomes and we're trying to stay consistent in the things we're doing right, going after things in life. We're kind of communicating that the things that we're going after in life are important to us, which is normal and natural. But the uninteresting question is, if the thing that I'm going after doesn't pan out, or if it goes pear-shaped, or if it's a disaster, or if I just don't get what I want, am I going to be really, really upset by it? Am I going to be fazed by that, triggered by it? And it's pointing us to a value, which is, of all the things that we're doing in life, the most important thing potentially, the thing we have to figure out, is how important is peace of mind to me personally? Because if our peace of mind is contingent upon external things happening, specific outcomes materializing, it means that those external things that we're looking for have become more important in our valued system than peace of mind. Now we're conditioned to think this way, we're not conditioned to think and value peace of mind as being primarily important in things. But it leads to all sorts of problems. Really, it makes going after what you want in life a lot harder, by the way. But it is a choice we make, and it's a choice we forget we made, actually, in the past. We forget that we said, this peace of mind stuff is kind of trivial to me, don't really need to think about that too much, I'm going to focus over there on x, y, and z externally. Until, of course, we realize that we're kind of on this hamster wheel of constantly chasing things. Sometimes they don't work out, we get upset, sometimes they do work out and we're momentarily pleased with the outcome, but then we're on to something else. So there's not really much space for peace of mind when we're on that hamster wheel. Until we realize, you know, we see a bigger picture where it's like, this is a little bit silly, what I'm doing here. What if I just realized, as I'm going after whatever it is that I want in life, that peace of mind is not up for discussion. And it really is a choice that we make. It's, I'm going to decide that nothing outside of myself, nothing external, yes, sure, I want it, sure, I'll take action, sure, I'll engage with it, but nothing external to myself is worth losing peace of mind over. Just even knowing that that choice is there is a big deal. We can actually choose to say, I will not get upset by anything that is happening externally. It is not worth it. Whatever the outcome might be, and however valuable it seems to be, if it comes with potentially losing your peace of mind, it isn't worth it. By definition, it's just not worth it. So over time, I think true life, when we develop these, we live life, we have these experiences, ups and downs, and we develop sort of a wisdom. And eventually it's nothing is really worth my peace of mind. I am not willing to sign that over in a contract and make it contingent upon externalities. When you're in that place, the funny thing is you tend to go after things in life a lot more. And it's an enjoyable experience. You see everything as a learning experience rather than just positive or negative outcomes. So the nervous system will be screaming at us to go do this, go and do that. Our conditioning will be conditioning us to, I can't live without that. I need to go do that. And that has to happen. And I have to avoid this. Mainly avoiding things is really the message we're receiving. Don't let that happen. But what if it happens? Am I going to be upset by it? Am I going to lose sleep over it? Am I going to worry about it? And if that's happening, is it really worth it at all for us? And the hamster wheel, it'll happen once, it'll happen twice, it'll keep happening on that hamster wheel. So is a life like that the best way to live your life? It's like you can make a choice. You really can make a choice to value peace above everything else in your life. And there's nothing wrong with being honest, by the way. You can be honest and say, I haven't been valuing peace above everything else in my life. I've been valuing a promotion. I've been valuing status. I've been valuing approval. I've been valuing success, whatever it might be, above my peace of mind. And as I've been going after that success, that approval, that status, I haven't been enjoying myself. That's also going to be very, very true if you look at it honestly. So this is just a video to invite you to say, how high in my list of values, if I had a list of values, how high on that list would peace of mind be? In my sense, the only thing that really works and the only thing that certainly leads to sustainable peace or happiness is to have that peace of mind as the highest value in your life. The goal you have for your life, the thing that you want above all else is peace of mind. To be unfazed by anything externally and then to go out and engage with it. That I think is a formula for freedom. And I do think having these types of conversations, being around this type of conversation and having this conversation with yourself in reflection is an incredibly healthy, practical, useful thing to do. So that's my invitation. Look at what your list of values are and where on that list is peace of mind. And maybe play around the idea if it's not at the top, see what happens when you do move it to the top of your list. Hope that's an insightful thought and I will see you guys very soon. Take care. Bye-bye.