Kourtney Kardashian | Sassy/Funny Moments

I don't like to share about, you know, dating. I don't know if they're bored in their own lives and they want to live through my wild dating life that they think is going on. Like, come on guys. Let's get it together. Why are you so lazy? I'm not lazy. I f***ing taught you how to work. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have the f***ing store. Do you even know how to go about it? Guess what? I've seen Scarface. True. Did I what? It's not like it would be such a shock. I've been married for 21 years. Like, that's stopped you before. Sorry. Sorry not sorry. You can't hit my vagina. Yes, I can. There's no baby in there. Where did she recruit these whores from? I think you look great. I'm really happy that you're making an effort into like, you know, being the sexy goddess that you are. No, no effort necessary. Both are wasted and I'm not. Yeah, why aren't you? I don't know. So just go sleep somewhere else. Where do you want me to sleep? It's a hotel. You are my sister. Oh my God, we are sisters. And then I'm one percent. Thank God, if you weren't Middle Eastern at all, we would be in big trouble. You're being ridiculous. You're scared. I'm done. I'm shivering. You're not. F*** out. That is so embarrassing for your life and your soul. No, no, she's got man hands. She's all right. Thank you. Shut the f*** up. She's got hands like Harrison Ford. Well, compared to your hands, you would tell. This is just such a joke. Like, none of this is helpful. I'm getting a headache. Now I can't hear and this was pointless. Stay focused. Did my butt get smaller? I think if she was going to do it for publicity, she'd pick someone that people knew. For what? What are you going to do with this? Break you. What is this? What service fee? A service fee from my services. What? 25 grand for you to do what? What do you mean? Do you think I'm doing this for free? I didn't notice that you got smarter since you started hanging out with me. You're sitting here eating all this food, you animals. You're just going to get fat. Who eats food these days? 25K? Who are you? Who do you think you are? We all know that's not happening. No, court is shady. Cheap, shady, ruthless. This feels really rushed, but I guess I'm about to get married. Take a girl to dinner before you just f*** her up the ass. What the f*** was that about? That is such a family deal. I mean, f*** your ass all day, but at least get a girl drunk or something. Wow. Want some champagne? Not really. This thing like you should thank Kim for your career. I do all the time. And then I was, but I was going to write back and say if it wasn't for my personality and being funny, then our show wouldn't exist. For sure. Without you, this whole thing would be dead. Stop wearing my leather jacket. Your clothes don't fit me. What did he say? My diamond earring came off in the ocean and it's gone. Kim, there's people that are dying. I'm going to be a bitch for nine months, but I'm not a bitch. Thank God. I hope not. I hope I was wrong. But no one else has said that but you. Pull. Pull with the stomach muscles, right? I'll work them over. I'll bring them a pad. Enjoy yourselves. Joke, this is so unprofessional. Like, I can't even believe that people act this way. Kim, you go call him Kim's dad. I went to the bathroom and I was in line. And this girl cut in front of me in the line and I go, excuse me. She literally turned around to me and just goes right in the face. Okay. Well, why don't you punish me? Because I'm not there. That's wrong too. You're making me feel really bad. Three hours to get there. We're not, we can't leave for another two. I've never been punched in the face except for that only time. Yeah. Do you want to help? Not really. Okay. I guess Scott and I will just keep living in sin. Look who's here. What is that and why? I pretty much started this entire family. No one would be anywhere or anything without me. Never want to get a mixed message. You barely give a regular message. Okay. Getting in the mud is kind of free. Every time I see you, you all sit here and cry and watch Titanic and wish that I had some romance in my life. Are you joking? Where? Where's your mom? They're having a fine. Hey, Rainey. Can you chill? Atrocious. I just feel like you and I are not vibing. But guess what? You don't care. We're soul sisters. No. No, I tried to find the $2 bills last night. That's all I had in my bedroom. I'm going to your house. I'm ripping out a tooth. I'll just tell you that. It's just not cool that you copy me. Like I go to lengths to try to get things that not everybody has. The store may send me clothes that are more Kim style and I send them back. So are we cool? Like, are we in agreement? ABCDEFG. I have to go. This negativity for today. Why would I sit here and just hear complaint after complaint? So, so where are you going? Everyone around you complains. No, I'm going to go surround myself with positive vibes. What about this? What the heck is ABCDEFG mean? It's just a phrase I like to use. Is that a real phrase? The conversation is over. You've said this before. You've never heard that phrase? No. And love. Good for you, Korn. Have you? Yes, that means the convo is done. If you say ABCDEFG. Yeah. G, goodbye.