I decluttered 50% of our belongings and learned this

We all love a good decluttering video. The perfectly folded clothes, the empty shelves, the amazing before and afters. However, behind every transformation is a side of decluttering that nobody is talking about. It's emotional, it's messy, and sometimes it feels harder than it should. And that's exactly what we're getting into today. Today, I'm sharing 10 brutal truths about decluttering that nobody is talking about. Truth number one, you have to control the incoming or nothing is going to change. You can declutter for hours, weeks, years on end, but if there are more items coming in than going out, it is just a revolving door. This was our family when we first started. We got so good at decluttering. We put so much effort and energy and focus into it. However, on the other side of our life, we were sort of just living as per usual. We were consuming more than we needed to. We were buying things just because everyone else had them. And in the end, there was more coming in than going out. For us, real change started when we focused on not just what was going out, but also what was coming in. A few years ago, I actually spent an entire month tracking exactly what came into our house. If I remember correctly, it was over a hundred items in a matter of 30 days. And that didn't include any consumables like food or bathroom supplies or anything like that. So that meant even if we were declaring a hundred items every month, we were only breaking even. If we want to see real change and real progress, we have to control how much is coming in. And in my opinion, this is where the real magic happens. Truth number two is that the world never stops selling to you. The world of marketing is relentless. They don't care that you just decluttered your entire wardrobe and your bedroom and closet is feeling more peaceful and calm than it has ever felt. They still tell you that you need three new sweaters and you have to get the new jeans that are in style this year. And that you might as well get two t-shirts because it's a two for one sale. Nobody cares that you just decluttered your entire bathroom and you have committed to yourself that you are using up the four brand new tubs of face cream that you know you have before you buy anything new. They will still tell you that you have to buy the newest one that just came up this week because it will change your life and it will make you look 10 years younger and it will revive your marriage. Decluttering is one thing, but resisting that urge to constantly accumulate is an entirely different battle. The amount of consuming that has become normal or average, in my opinion, is more than the average, any average family can possibly manage on their own. If you struggle with overconsumption, I highly suggest trying a spending freeze. We did our first one a few years ago and honestly, I tell people day in and day out, that is when things really change for us. I have an entire video on our spending freeze including lots of tips, so if you're interested, that would be a good place to start. Truth number three is that decluttering takes longer than we think. When we do initial consultations with new clients, potential clients, and we're in their home, they almost always say something to the effect of, you know, I feel like I have been working on this nonstop or just last week I spent three hours in here and it looks like nothing has changed. But this doesn't mean that you shouldn't try or it isn't worth it. All it means is that we need to adjust our expectations. If you have an area or multiple areas in your home that you're working on, there's a good chance you might spend an entire Saturday morning working on it and it will look visually like you've done nothing, but that doesn't mean you haven't made progress and it doesn't mean you should not be very proud. My biggest tip for this is to focus on yearly progress rather than daily progress. We can't expect ourselves to knock out an entire room in one day if it's really filled with quite a bit of clutter. Once you change that mindset, things become way easier. Real change takes time, but I promise it's so worth it. Truth number four is that decluttering is repetitive. Chances are you're going to make the same decisions over and over and over again. It's going to be different for every family, every household, every person. However, most families have, you know, two to five categories that they're just constantly declaring over and over again. For us, we are a very average family of four. The kids are seven and eight. So the areas that we always are tackling are kids' clothes, kids like crafting items, and then a category that I call our parents have given us something better to replace what we already have. I talked about that category in my last video. So if you haven't checked that out, it might be worth a watch. These are the areas and items that are always coming into our house. And that's why we are always having to continually declutter them. Your repetitive categories are probably going to be based on your hobbies or just like the phase of life you're in. So let's say you're really into sewing, then maybe fabric is a big area that you're always feels like you're always decluttering. Or maybe if you love home renovations, then maybe like home maintenance or home reno supplies is a big one for you. Maybe if you love cooking, it could be cookbooks that you just feel like you're constantly having new cookbooks coming in. You may also go over the same areas and get in again, because you're sort of working on the layers. So the first time you tackle an area, you're probably going to choose like the easiest items, the low hanging fruit, just something kind of, kind of get your feet in the water, get used to it, build your confidence a little bit. And then six months later, you might tackle that same area again and be like, Oh my gosh, what was I thinking? Like this pile of jeans I haven't even touched in months. And then maybe a year down the road, you think, wow, I am like embracing this minimalist lifestyle. I know that half this wardrobe can go. This repetition might feel like you're failing or not making any progress, but that's not necessarily the truth at all. As long as we aren't consuming at a crazy rate, this repetition probably just means we are kind of living life. Truth number five is that most items are completely forgettable. What feels impossible to part with today, you probably won't even remember next month. If I had a nickel for every time I went into our donation station and I look at a pair of pants and I think, Oh my gosh, like I totally forgot these even existed. I can't believe I wasted so much time debating about these. Knowing this doesn't necessarily eliminate the emotions that we feel while we're decluttering, but with practice, it helps build our confidence that life will carry on without all of this stuff. And what I've also learned that getting rid of the stuff doesn't make us lose all these most special memories, which I think is a lot of what we're scared of sometimes. When my dad died a few years ago, I brought home a ton of his stuff, a lot of his clothes, his books, a bunch of his stuff. And over time I have slowly got rid of the majority of it. And I've learned that this doesn't mean that his memory has faded. I don't think about him less because I don't have his favorite books hanging around. A week does not go by where I say something to my husband, like, Oh my gosh, it's just like remembered something that dad used to do or dad always used to do something like that. That always kind of made me laugh. The items are forgettable, but the most important memories will always be there. Truth number six is that you might never be in the mood. If you are waiting for the mood to strike where all of a sudden you're like, I just can't wait to tackle those six boxes of paperwork that are in my basement. Chances are it might never happen. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to start. And most of the time that is by far the hardest part. Those first few boxes, just kind of pulling the trigger to get started. As I've said before, and I will always say is that, you know, these decluttering chores that we have in our head, they're built up in our minds. Like they're going to be so much worse than they actually are. Chances are, if you get started, you get it done at the end, you might just say, Hey, that wasn't so bad after all. Or at the very least you will say, I am so glad that is done. If you're struggling to get started, I always suggest taking the path of least resistance. So start with like a category and area or something that's really easy for you because sometimes all you need is just to get the ball rolling. Truth number seven is that we have to let go of perfection. Those after photos of beautifully curated, organized spaces on Pinterest and Instagram and anywhere on the internet are enough to make anyone crazy. When it comes to a decluttered, organized, functional home, looks don't always matter. From all the homes we have worked in, having the right amount of something and having simple routines that foster this clutter-free home are way more important than having the latest acrylic bins and like custom labels and everything looking perfect. I also find that comparing our homes to ones on the internet almost always makes us feel sort of lacking, which in turn makes us want to crave to buy new things to make our houses look like that, which if the goal is decluttering, then like what the heck when we are working on a client project and we are overhauling and organizing a specific space, we spend 80 to 90% of our time on that project, just decluttering, sorting through the items, deciding what to keep, packing up donations, dropping them off, hauling out the garbage. That is like the real, honestly, most of the work. The part of choosing bins, adding labels, deciding where things can go, that takes up a small portion of our project because the thing is once we get rid of all the clutter, we are left with only our most important, most beautiful, most treasured items, most functional items, and therefore organizing that becomes kind of easy. Truth number eight is that decluttering is never ending, and this is coming from someone who really focuses on not bringing in a lot of stuff. Unless you move to the jungle and only wear a loincloth, you are going to have stuff coming into your house. It is inevitable. Life changes, we change, stuff comes in, stuff goes out. But on the bright side, once you automate the process of decluttering and letting things go, it becomes actually pretty easy. The part to remember here is that this is going to go on forever, so getting good at it and setting up a routine that sets you and your family up for success is absolutely, without a doubt, worth the effort. Truth number nine is that anyone can get good at decluttering, but you might need some help, and that is okay. Over the past three years of working with in-home clients, we have probably never come across a client that hasn't said something like, I don't know why I can't do this on my own. It is so normal, so common, you are not alone. It might mean that you need help from a professional organizer, or maybe it means that you need help on the mental-emotional side from a counselor or a therapist, or maybe it just means you want to have your most organized best friend come over and spend a Saturday helping you go through your clothes. In so many situations with clients is that we're with them for only maybe a day or two or three, and it just sets them up for success. It gets them on track so they can carry on on their own. Outside support can sometimes be exactly what you need to get started. Truth number 10, the final truth, is that decluttering can change your life in ways you never expected. If you really truly commit to this idea of clearing out the chaos and clearing out the clutter and resisting that urge for constant consumption, there is a good chance your life is going to change drastically. I started this whole crazy journey nearly seven years ago with a pile of maternity clothes that I wanted to get rid of. Next thing I knew, I looked up and I didn't even recognize my life anymore. We have more time, more freedom, more money, and less stress and pressure, and it is simply glorious. The truth is decluttering is less about tidying our home and more about rewriting our lives. You're not just clearing spaces, you are creating room for the next version of you. If clutter has been on your heart lately, I highly suggest starting your decluttering journey today. You will not regret it.