First Day in Winnemucca *True Story Sunday*

Hey guys, you've missed it, you've wondered when it's coming back, well, welcome to another episode of True Story Sunday. In this episode I'll be driving around my, the new town where I live called Winnemucca, Nevada or as it's more affectionately known, the WMCA. Today's story is about my very first day in Winnemucca. I came here for work and my friend was already working out here so we drove together but we left, we had to be at work Monday morning but we left Utah at like 10 o'clock at night so we got here about 3 in the morning and the next day he went off to work but I had to do in-processing stuff, which things like a drug test and a bunch of paperwork, fun stuff like that. Well I knew that I was going to have to take a urine test so I drank a bunch of water that morning thinking that as soon as we got there we would be doing the urine test. Well, instead we had to fill out a bunch of paperwork and then they handed us, there was several of us going through this on the same day, they handed us a little map with a line drawn on it and said you have to go here to do your drug test and your hearing test and your pulmonary test. So I didn't have any transportation and I just started, I just started walking. I decided it wasn't too far and I decided I'd just walk it and I really had to go to the bathroom by this time. By the way, this is the whole story, it's me needing to go to the bathroom. So I'm walking and I'm following this line and I get to where the line ends and there's nothing there. The place where I'm supposed to be is not there and so I have a left or a right turn to make and I chose to go right and I said if it's not around this corner, I'm going to have to urinate in public and I went around the corner and the place was not there. So there was a tree and I went and ran behind the tree and I went to the bathroom real quick. I relieved myself in public on my first day in Winnemucca and then I went back and took the left that I should have taken and found this place. So now I've got to do a urine test but I've just gone to the bathroom. So I'm chugging all this water again, trying to prepare for my urine to give a urine sample. And a couple guys, I let them go in front of me. I let a couple guys go in front of me and these guys again. I let a couple guys go in front of me and then I finally decided, yeah, okay, I've drank enough water that I can go. So I go in and the woman administering the test gives me a cup and she has me pull up my shirt sleeves and my pant legs to show that I'm not hiding anything in there, which is much better than a urine test in the army because in the army, someone goes in with you and watches you pee. And if you think that sucks, try being a guy, try being the sergeant who gets to administer the drug test and watching like a hundred guys pee throughout the day. I did that once. My very, that was my very last drill in the National Guard. I watched a bunch of guys pee. Anyways, I go in, I give the sample. Next up, I got to do a pulmonary test. No, no, next up, next up I got to do the hearing test and she sits me in this little soundproof booth and plays all the tones and you got to push a button and I'm dying. I've drank so much water that I've already got to go to the bathroom. So I finished the hearing test and she's ready to start the pulmonary test and I'm going and I tell her, I'm sorry, I'm afraid I've over prepared for the urine, the urine test. Can I step out real quick? So she lets me go out and I go to the bathroom again. Next, when I go back in, I have to do the pulmonary test. If you've never done one of these tests, it's, you have to blow into this tube and it measures your lung capacity, I guess. Smokers have a really hard time with this, with this one. They start wheezing and hacking and everything. The problem is you have to blow for a really long time and it's not like a straw where you can keep a lot of air in your lungs but keep pressure going through the straw. It's like a hose, it's giant. This thing you have to, you have to blow through and this girl who wasn't unattractive is sitting there telling you, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, and I'm like, you cannot, do you not hear yourself right now? Do you not hear what you're saying right now? How am I supposed to concentrate on this when you, with you yelling, don't stop, go, go, go, go, go, go? And you can hear as each guy goes into this room, this woman telling them, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, keep going, keep going, keep going, and I'm like, oh my word lady, just tell me to blow and then I'll blow. So anyways, I passed that, it took me a couple of tries but I passed that. The smokers, they didn't do so good but I think they eventually passed. Then, as soon as that was done, I went and went to the bathroom again and then I got all my test results and then I had to go back to the office and turn everything in. So I decided to take you over to where this happened to give you a better visual aid and finish my story. I leave this place, I walk over this overpass, across the railroad tracks here, and I'm walking down this road, what's it called, Haskell Street, I'm walking down Haskell Street and there's nowhere to go to the bathroom and it's kind of a busy road and I get to the point where I'm almost running down this road to get to somewhere, somewhere secluded or somewhere, like back to my office or somewhere that I can go to the bathroom and I'm running down this road and finally I see a dugout, like a baseball field with a, not a dugout but it's got bathrooms, it's a little concession area and stuff. And when there are games, I guess it's open but when I was, when I needed it so desperately, it was locked. But it was one of those moments where you've already sent a signal to your brain saying, your brain has already sent a signal to your bladder saying, hey, in a couple seconds it's okay, everything's going to be okay, we're going to be able to relieve ourselves. So when I found out that it was locked, it was already too late for me to try anything else and I just had to hurry up and go to the bathroom on the side of the dugout which is in a very open area. There's a park there, there's a parking lot full of cars right nearby and then there's this street that I was on. But I didn't care, I just, I just, I just hurried and peed right there for the second time on my first day in Winnemucca, I urinated in public. And what the heck is that? So I almost, so that was fun and then as I was walking away I noticed that I hadn't quite done it in time and I had a little bit of pee inside my pants, on my pant leg. And just as I was walking away from this, from this dugout, one of the guys that I had been in processing with and he was driving back to the office and he saw me walk from this dugout right here back towards the road and he's pulled over. But I've got pee all over my, not all over, but a little bit. And it's one of those moments where you just have to act cool and pretend like there's not pee on your pants. You haven't, you have to pretend like you didn't just halfway pee your pants so you can get into a car with a stranger because he was nice enough to offer you a ride. And that's the true story of my first day in, in Winnemucca.