Ricky Gervais in bed with George Michael

And the British Comedy Award goes to... Ricky Gervais! Now, once again... Once again, the winner is elsewhere, pretending to be busy, but he did record this message for us earlier. Thank you, British Comedy Awards. I'm sorry I can't be there in person, but it's beneath me, if we're being honest. I've won Golden Globes and Emmys. Real Emmys, not international Emmys, the real thing. But thank you for this, best comedy actor, for my portrayal in the Extras Christmas special, in which Gordon Ramsay plays a foul-mouthed egomaniac and George Michael plays a hairy, kebab-eating, drug-taking pop star who likes to look for cock in the bushes. Where do I get my ideas from? Hardly a stretch, was it? Well, I don't like kebabs. What? I don't like kebabs. Oh, my mistake. Tiramisu latte. Bless you. All right? Oi! Why are you wearing pyjama bottoms? Don't like the feel. Why is it so red? Wearing tear, innit? Can I show you then? How red this is? Stormy. How red it is? Still available. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone. That's what you call a Tiramisu. So, congratulations to Ricky Gervais, a unanimously popular winner. Incidentally, all these pre-recorded acceptance speeches from absent winners will be available on a special compilation DVD. Now, that's what I call insincerity. Join us again in just a few moments.