Why Everyone SEEMS to Have More Money Than You

If you've ever thought, why do I always feel like I'm behind with money? This video is for you. Maybe it's comparing yourself to a co-worker who just bought a new car. Or that person on TikTok who's in Bora Bora on Thursday. The pressure is real. You might feel bad about yourself. You might end up spiraling. Maybe even self-sabotaging your progress. Trust me, you are not alone. In this video, we're going to look at some actual data and then we'll dive into why it seems like everyone has more money than you. Finally, I'll give you three strategies to feel better about your money. By the end of this video, you'll walk away with clarity and actionable steps to stop feeling stuck. Let's get into it. Part one, the data. Is it true? You see a lot of other people living these seemingly perfect lives. The vacations, the luxury cars, the new houses. It's natural to wonder, am I the only one who doesn't have this stuff? But before you start to believe that, we have to look beneath the surface. Let me show you some data on household credit card debt. What you can see is a lot of people are clearly buying more than they can afford. And then there's this idea that everyone is living paycheck to paycheck. That's also not true. See, there's this common story floating around that everyone is just scraping by and the economy is incredibly difficult for everyone and no one can afford groceries. No, the actual data shows that the median household has a net worth of $193,000 and they have $8,000 in their checking or savings account. Now, there's a big difference between not having enough money and not being intentional with their money. What I'm trying to show you right now is that the way you feel about your money is not really correlated with reality. For instance, I've worked with people making $100,000 a year who feel completely broke. Same thing with people who make $300,000 a year. Sometimes they even say, we're living check to check. I go, really? Because you've maxed out your 401k. You're sending your kids to private school and you're taking four vacations a year. They go, it doesn't feel like I have lots of money. Your feelings about money are highly uncorrelated with the amount in your bank account. At the same time, let's acknowledge some other truths. Wealth inequality is real. The top 10% of US households have $6.9 million on average. As a group, they hold 67% of total household wealth. On the other hand, the bottom 50% of households have $51,000 on average and only 2.5% of total household wealth. Look at those numbers. The difference between wealth of the top 10% and the bottom 50%. Now, I believe we can simultaneously acknowledge the need for personal responsibility and the need for systemic change. But to tell you the truth, systemic change is outside the scope of this video. So I'm going to focus on how we manage our money today. Two people can have the very same income. One is stressed out, the other is thriving. Why? In part, because of the way they look at their money and because of the choices they make. So is everyone richer than you? Probably not. But it might feel that way because of how we see money today. But before I get to that, listen up if you have complex questions about your investments. Questions like, can we retire? When can we retire? What if I want to leave my job and start a new career? How much can we afford to support our kid's education? How are my investment allocations? In these specific cases, it can be really helpful to have a professional run some scenarios and give you a second set of eyes on your financial picture. And a great option to help you get clear answers is a flat fee-based financial planner like our sponsors, Facit. Facit will help you understand and expand your financial opportunities by providing you flexible access to a team of financial planners, CFP professionals, and a team of professionals providing guidance across retirement planning, tax strategy, estate planning, and more. And the best part is instead of taking a percentage of your portfolio, which is a big no-no, they charge an affordable flat membership fee. We've even partnered with Facit to run scenarios for many of the couples on my podcast who have complex financial situations and they've been incredibly helpful. I know a financial planner isn't for everyone, but if you want a second set of eyes on your finances, check them out at facit.com slash ramith. You can set up a free call and see if it's right for you. Check out their membership options at facit.com slash ramith or click the link in the description below. Now let's get to part two, why it feels like this. Money stress is real and pervasive. Even if you're earning a good income, you might feel like it's never enough. Why? Because money stress isn't just about how much you make or even the number in your bank account. It's about how much you feel in control. We love to feel in control. The problem is we're horrible at it. Think about it, if every time you get paid, you're scrambling to pay bills and cover rent. You feel like every time you take one step forward, you end up taking two steps back. That's stressful. It's even worse if you don't know where your money is going at all. I've talked to people on my podcast earning six figures who feel just as anxious about money as someone earning $40,000 a year. It's not just about numbers. It's a lot deeper than that. Here's what I really want you to understand. Money stress comes from not having clarity and understanding of your finances. The vast majority of people who feel stressed out about money have never read a single book about personal finance. It's like asking me to walk in and start building a house. Build a house? I don't even have a hammer. Of course, I'm going to feel stressed out. I don't know what any of these tools are. What's a two by two? What the? I don't even know if that's the right example. That's how you feel about money because you don't know the basic language of finance. So it feels like your money is controlling you instead of the other way around. The social media highlight reel. If you're scrolling Instagram or TikTok all day, it can feel like everyone is living their best life except for you sitting there munching a bunch of dry ramen noodles. Guys, social media is a curated highlight reel. You only post the best stuff. Nobody's posting about their credit card debt. Nobody's posting about waking up with their 3am panic attack about money. But instead, they post their exotic trips, the nice outfits, the new cars, the cool little meal they had at the corner store in New York. But what you don't see is the reality behind those posts. Now, I got to tell you, some people actually are genuinely wealthy. They're posting these trips and they're paying for it because they have a very high income, which, of course, they will not tell you about. Others are faking it. They're putting things on credit cards. They're keeping up with trends they can't afford. And you are comparing yourself to all of them. You're literally comparing yourself to one curated image that they post without knowing the background. I have had couples on my podcast who are living a very nice life. They have a big house. They have a fancier car than I do. They take very nice vacations. But when we looked at their finances, they were drowning in debt. They were spending money they didn't have and projecting an image they could not sustain. We don't know our numbers. Another huge reason it feels like everyone has more money than you is that you don't know your numbers. And I'm not just talking about how much you make. I'm talking about your vision of enough. 50% of the couples I speak to do not even know their household income. Let me say that again. 50% of the people I speak to do not know their own household income. No wonder you're stressed. You don't even know the basic numbers in your personal finances. But then, most people also have no idea how much they actually need to feel secure. Guys, here's a little hint. Maybe your feelings are not even correlated to a number. Like when I ask someone, how much money would it take for you to feel like you're doing okay? They almost always say something like, I don't know, but more than I have today. Without a clear idea of what you need and what enough is, it's impossible to ever feel good. You will always chase more and more without knowing what the end destination is. What a terrible way to live life. To go 50 years feeling bad, feeling behind, feeling like you don't have enough, and then when someone asks you a simple question, how much is enough? You go, I don't know. Lack of a vision for your own rich life. One of the biggest reasons it feels like everyone else is ahead is that we don't actually have a vision for our own rich life. We're busy comparing ourselves to other people's visions that we forgot to ask ourselves, what do I actually want? It's really easy in America to get caught up in someone else's dream. Everybody needs a big house. I need a big house. Everybody needs a fancy car. I need a fancy car. But do you really? Or are you simply following what society says you should? Are you engaging in mimetic desire or just following what other people want and believing that that's what you want too because that's what you see? I'll give you an example from my own life. I see lots of people showing off their cars. Now, if you love cars and you can afford it, God bless. But a lot of people in America are obsessed with the car they drive. But I'll tell you something. Nobody really brags about the hotels they stay at. Have you ever thought about why? Number one, it's much easier to be visible about the car you drive and the house you live in. Second, you can take on debt to buy a house and a car. But mostly people do not take on debt to stay at a very fancy hotel. Think about it. What we choose to focus on in our rich life is almost always what is visible. And my challenge for you is to really get intentional about your rich life. Maybe it's a car. Maybe it's a fancy house. Or maybe it is having the flexibility to pick up your kids from school every afternoon. Or having amazing coffee in your house and hiring a barista to come help you learn how to make it even better. Next up, I'm going to show you how to feel better about your money. But first, click that subscribe button so you can follow all of my new videos. I want you to feel empowered and confident with your money. That's why I put out a new video on money strategies and money psychology every week. All right, now let's move to part three. How to feel better about your money. Like I said earlier, your feelings about money are highly uncorrelated with the amount in your bank account. Instead, I'm going to share three easy ways for you to finally feel better about money. Step one, build a plan that works for you. So much of our money stress comes from uncertainty and not being sure what the right thing to do is. The first step is to take control of your money. Specifically, your cash flow. Know how much is coming in every month. Know how much is going out. And start telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went. And you can't control what others do, but you can control your own money to create your vision of a rich life. Here's how you do it. First, figure out your money dial. Money dials are these spending categories that you love to spend money on. Here are some examples of money dials. As you can see, number one is food. People love to spend money on food. The next step is travel and on and on and on. Now look at your own spending. Which area excites you the most? A lot of people will say family. I go, cool, show me in your conscious spending plan. Where's your spending on family? Oh, it's been busy. I don't know. Oh, health is really important to me. Okay, show me in your calendar and your conscious spending plan. Where's your spending on health? Oh, well, I don't know. I go, what are you spending on? They go, DoorDash. What the f***? Misalignment. Misalignment with what you claim is your rich life and where you're spending time and money. So when you get clear on your money dials, you get to decide what is meaningful in your life and then turn that dial up. And as you spend more on things you love, even spending extravagantly, then you get to cut back mercilessly on things you don't. After you've figured out your own money dial, I recommend you create a conscious spending plan that focuses on using your money to live a rich life. Using this template makes it really easy to plan where you want your money to go so that you are actually using it to enjoy your life. And you only have to track four key numbers. Your fixed costs, your investments, your savings, and your guilt-free spending. When you know these numbers, you will feel much more in control. So download a copy of my conscious spending template in the description below. It's free. Step number two, rethink the way you compare yourself to others. The next time you feel the urge to compare yourself, ask yourself first, do I even want what they have? Have I taken a second to design my rich life? Or am I just looking at other people and then feeling bad? Here's some questions to ask yourself. What does your rich life look like today and tomorrow? Look at your calendar. What have you been spending time on? What do you want to spend time on going forward? What would a perfect day for you look like? Get specific down to the time, place, and people. And what is on your rich life bucket list? What are the words or phrases or feelings that come to mind when you look at this list? Now, if you want help doing this, you can pick up a copy of my journal, the I Will Teach You To Be Rich journal, which will take you through a guided process of coming up with your vision of a rich life. And the more you dial in your rich life, the more personal it will be for you and the more bewildering it will be to other people. That's how it should be. Your vision of a rich life should fit you like a handmade glove. But I want you to keep going. I want you to make at least one item on your bucket list actually happen. So as you go through the journal and you use the 10-year bucket list exercise, I want you to pick one item from that bucket list that's exciting to you in the next decade. And then you estimate how much it'll cost. You decide when you want to do it, and you automatically start saving for that goal. What I love about this is you are taking real steps to make your rich life happen. And now it's just a matter of time. Because of the system you built, where you were automatically saving money in a specific account, you know that every single month you're getting closer to making your dream a reality. Your dream, not somebody else's. Your dream. And step number three, celebrate the small wins. You got to focus on progress, not just perfection. Every small step, like saving $50 this week, or setting up a connection between your checking and savings account, or paying off your credit card debt, gets you closer to your goal. And you should celebrate that. Celebrate creating a debt payoff plan. Celebrate doing your conscious spending plan with your partner. Celebrate your first automatic investment. How do you celebrate it? Here's a few ideas. Every single month when you have your monthly money review, give each other a big hug at the end of it. Pay for a babysitter and go out to dinner. Make it a priority in your guilt-free spending. Or give each other a specific vivid compliment about what you appreciate at the beginning of every meeting. Remember, no progress is too small. You can't celebrate enough. And taking time to celebrate your wins will keep you motivated and excited about money. I know it might seem like everyone has more money than you, but the truth is they don't have your specific experiences, goals, values, and certainly not your vision of a rich life. So these tools I've given you help you stop comparing yourself to them and start focusing on what matters to you. When you do that, take back control. If you genuinely want to change your life, you want to fix your financial problems and build real wealth, this is the six-month playbook you need to follow.