I Can't Afford The Wedding My Fiancée Is Expecting

[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today me and my fiance are uh getting married um we're just doing a one-on-one ceremony me and her in the in about a month and we had decided um to uh fund this ourselves and our budget was around $10 to 122,000 um in the initial discussions I was going to bring x amount of money um she was going to bring a significant portion so I was going to bring around $2,500 she was going to cover the rest um when we had this discussion when we planned this I had decided um or excuse me I had budgeted based on projected income for the month of January and how much margin I would have in my budget um that did not come to fruition and it's created a strain because I'm not able to contribute the portion that I thought I would be able to I'm in a very tight budget right now um I will follow that up with um I am bringing debt into this marriage from the second uh we even discussed marriage she's had a full look into my finances she sees what I spend there's no nothing hidden and we have agreed that when we combine our finances when we get married that uh we're going to do the mar we plan to bring the debt to attack the debt that I'm bringing into the marriage so a couple things there is a lot of Shame and guilt on my end too and on her end and I think there might be some not necessarily resentment building but I don't want that to happen and and yesterday there was kind of some expression of that and well let me ask let me ask let me ask you a quick question she's fully aware of your finances and which means she's probably very fully aware of your work and how you get paid and that it sounds like you had no control over this income so she's disappointed yes but does she understand the circumstances by which the money hasn't come in like you thought it would yes yes and that's that's kind of the question all right second question second question I thought and I don't know if George you heard this so I'm coming to you Jason I thought you started off the call by saying we're having a one-on-one wedding yes sir we're well open so why is it ,000 yeah what I don't understand this was the uh kind of the dream that she had and what and what we had thought we could budget for and so there's been deposits placed airline tickets place um s money already spent that would be really hard to sort of bring up and okay so hold on a second hold on so she had a vision for a wedding and now we can't afford it so now we're opting for the one-on-one at the courthouse well no know it it's still affordable just the portion that I was supposed to afford is is I just don't understand George why we're 12 Grand let's say you can't give this 2500 you can't give a dime what changes about this wedding a month from now what can't we do that we said we were were going to do that's that's exactly my question we can do it and for our conversation last night the the sort of thought is just get it done but I my question is more relational I don't want there to be any Harbor resentment or doubt from her because I was not able to uphold my end of the bargain here's the third question is there a pattern of you making a promise telling her something and then it not coming to fruition are you letting her down is this the first time this happen I know absolutely not no and and 100% transparency no have you told her about this yet just be honest with her and say Hey listen I was expecting this income oh yeah they talked about so she's but she expressed some you know disappointment she was upset about it and she's obviously pretty you know there's a lot of emotion already with planning a wedding and doing this even if it's just one-on-one it's a big life change and I think this just probably triggered something inside of her going this man is he going to be able to provide is he going to be able to be the partner leader that I need him to be so it's probably causing some bigger questions in her mind and I think that's worth a second conversation with her okay and it's the shame that I'm feeling as well and that's and I guess I just curious about how to uh how to just approach that okay I think that tangibly I can do between now and men to okay so we can't really answer that until we understand what happened what is the nature of your job or could you share with us briefly the circum ances that led to you not getting paid what you uh projected that you might what happened very yeah very easily um I'm a I do two things I'm a field inspector and I sell real estate and um my field inspection job is my main source of income um I was nak basically just enough to pay my bills to get by with that and then real estate I switched brokerages um back to a brokerage that I have been uh affiliated with before so um when I made this change we discussed it and said hey you know I can either Focus my attention at this real estate and see the benefits from that three to six months from now I've done that before I know what it looks like or I can in the immediate in the next three months go get a job doing whatever on the side to stack cash for this alotment and we decided that the first option was was how I would proceed um there was about a 15 or about excuse me a $2,000 of job through this field inspection job that I do that I was anticipating and told would happen in January and that money was earmarked for the alotment and that work never came to fruition through the company that I'm working with okay so you have another month to go is this wedding in March yes sir okay so you can go do a side gig you know one of these you know kind of a instacart Uber Eats whatever it is you can go sign up for one of those and go make 500 bucks a week until the wedding okay and that that was is my thought do whatever it takes I think that'll prove to her that you're serious about yeah I I get it George that's a great suggestion Jason honestly bro you you've got some self-belief issues okay so that's going to need to be dealt with number one but the best way to kind of deal with this you're down in the dumps dude you sound like uh what maybe a balloon that's lost all its air would sound like if it were talking that's what you sound like and I'm not making fun of you I'm saying that's what it sounds like you sound so deflated but George is right bro you can make $2,500 between now and that wedding date and I would start doing it okay now sell something if you can't sell something and come up with $300 go sell it for somebody else go to all your friends I mean I'm telling you bro like this is your chance to feel good about yourself I understand why you're plated but man this is an opportunity for you to go wait a second I can earn $2,500 between now and wedding day and I'm going to absolutely die trying and I'm going to do it and I'm gonna find all the ways to do it and that's all I'm doing I'm waking up going I've got a you need a poster board in your bedroom on your mirror looking at some type of a a thermometer that people do like $2500 or bust if there's 35 days for the wedding say I'm going to make a 100 bucks every day no matter what compell or high water yeah so I mean let's go and then here's the deal and then enter into this this marriage all in with your wife to be uh on the baby steps how can we let's give them a wedding gift George what would what what should we do I love it I think Financial Peace University for the two of you would be great along with Breaking Free from broke for you specifically Jason read the margin is Breathing Room chapter I've got 10 ways to make more 10 ways to spend less if you do both of those things you're going to find that margin to save up and I want you to have that next conversation not with a mop attitude but with optimism with an excitement with an enthusiasm that she goes oh my gosh this is a new Jason that's right and tell her I'm going to come up with a 2500 bucks babe don't worry about it I mean I see much of you but it's going to be a great wedding create your free every dooll budget today the simplest way a budget for your life