Promises Made After Breaking Self Trust are Causing Your Procrastination

in this short video presentation I'm going to give you a definition of procrastination and what I I'm hoping this is going to do is is nothing short than completely revolutionize your personal productivity and your relationship with your goals and I mean that because this is about what is procrastination now you might say to yourself I know it is what I'm looking for are solutions to the problem I used to think that I knew what it was as well and it wasn't until I really figured out what it is that I was able to do something about it because the solution is actually embedded in the correct definition and I'm going to give you in this short video old definitions that we've all been relying on for too long which have contributed to us staying stuck in this pattern this repetitive sort of self-sabotage and guilt cycle that we find ourselves in with procrastination so that's the goal here I want this video only this video you can go and read my book you can do my course and procrastination if you want but I hope this video is enough I'll be honest and I think it could be if you really get what I'm trying to tell you in this video so what is procrastination old definitions what do they look like like well people say I procrastinate all the time I'm not doing enough I'm not doing important work now I want you to hear this that is not procrastination that is just a choice that I'm not doing something it doesn't actually tell us anything important or insightful that will help us address this issue another one here would be well I keep putting off important work again that is not procrastination it sounds like it but it isn't this is just a choice to put off work there's no NE not necessarily any guilt involved with that you could just decide I'm going to put it off and there's no issue there to be found promising to do something and then not doing it now we are getting closer with this definition but it's still not procrastination it's still not problematic okay so promising to do something and then not doing it it's getting closer but it's still not quite there so those are well there one last one here is delaying or avoiding what needs to be done again that could just be the choice to well I'm I'm going to just delay it not procrastination so right now you may be saying well if that's not the definition what is a definition what is a more useful definition that's going to lead to this insightful solution for me here is how I Define it I'm going to give you three different ways to think about this okay if the first one doesn't work maybe de or two will procrastination is making a a promise to oneself immediately after breaking trust making a promise to oneself immediately after breaking trust here's another one asserting authority over one's behavior in the immediate wake of irrefutable insubordination and finally not doing what you said you would do and then that's the most important part and then subsequently making another promise to complete it in that same day that last one is the most practical of all now those are what I would describe as definitions useful definitions of procrastination putting off the work is not a problem not showing up to do the work when I said I would is not a problem however when it does become problem problematic is that after I didn't do what I said I was going to do I immediately go into fixing it with another immediate promise to take action within the same day usually what's happening is we break trust which is human but it's in our response to what happens when we break the trust where our our problems really lie and that's where the solution lies so the solution now is going to be much more focused on okay it's not about taking action it's not about never not being allowed to not take action if you're following me it's all about how I respond to my inaction what is my reaction to my inaction and what it looks like is giving yourself time after you have not done something you said you would before you immediately rush in with a a new promise okay okay so it's like and people I used to have this myself my clients have this all the time um I'm going to do that thing at 10:00 10:00 rolls around not done uh yeah but I got to do it though um I'm going to do it at 11: 11: comes not done I'm going to do what it have to same thing so it's making a promise to oneself immediately after breaking trust it's asserting authority over one's behavior in the wake of irrefutable insubordination it's not doing what you said would do and then and then subsequently making another promise to complete it in the same day the solution therefore is going to be about changing how you respond to the times when you don't take action and if you can change your reaction how you respond by definition procrastination goes away and you become much more um your self-esteem goes up your self-purpose or your self uh trust goes up which is really the name of the game here when we're talking about procrastination self trust so what I tell you to do is make promises okay so say set times for yourself I am going to start that task at let's say it's 10: a.m. okay I'm going to start it at 12 don't rush you don't even need to rush yourself I'm going to give myself a couple of hours and then I'm going to start and then what you do is you just sit back and watch you'll have a you you'll probably be hoping that you take action but there may have been many times in your past when you didn't so you're maybe more hopeful than expectant that you'll take action which is fine but you just sit back and watch what you do and you notice well 12:00 rolled around and uh I'm not doing it now we have a real decision to make am I going to immediately set and make a new promise within the same day in the wake of um irrefutable insubordination or am I going to say I'm done that's it really the problem is we get this sort of nervous system reaction right it's fight flight freeze or Fallen we're grabbing we're trying to chase it we're trying to compensate for the mistake we're trying to fix the mistake by making an immediate we're rushing ourselves to fix it and that's very natural but that's the thing that causes the problem to become this Perpetual cycle of procrastination so what you do is if you don't show up on that day when you said you would you take the rest of the day off you give yourself space to reflect on what happened there that's actually significant what happened there I said I would do something and I didn't and you start to take yourself a little bit more seriously so we're talking about giving yourself space after the insubordination not just trying to IM immediately Rectify it it's almost like an apology to a friend like if you were to meet a friend at 12:00 and you didn't show up you'd expect them to be a little bit sort of well I really need you to know why I need to I need to know why you didn't so that might take you need to reflect on that or they would need some space to reflect on what just happened we need that for ourselves also so it is how you respond after the promise is broken that determines everything with your procrastination don't worry too much about breaking the promise okay I didn't show up don't beat yourself up about that now if you follow my techniques here that's not going to be happening for very long in my experience it's 2 or 3 days that might happen sometimes that doesn't even happen but it may but it's all about how you respond after the promise is broken and that determines everything I want you to think about resisting the temptation to rectify the broken promise immediately with additional promises and finally the broken prom promise needs to be recognized and reflected upon without guilt this is the thing if you're in the guilt cycle I didn't show up what wrong with me why do I keep doing this I'm terrible I'm not organized enough I'll never do what I want to do with my life none of that is necessary it's just okay I said sit back and watch yourself I didn't say sit back and judge yourself just notice okay that's interesting I I didn't follow through on that that is how you overcome procrastination by knowing what the real definition is I'll leave it there if you want to learn more you can go and read my book you can take my course it's on my website and if you have any questions I can take them I always read the questions and comments below thanks so much for being with me and I'll see you guys very soon bye-bye [Music] [Music]