Why Dating Today Is Nearly Impossible

Love is one of the few things that every single one of us needs, but is so hard to receive. Between the fear of fake dating profiles, commitment, and the sheer amount of time it takes to just find one match, it's no wonder why dating today is harder than it's ever been. This video, through social experiments and deep conversations, is going to uncover why it is so damn hard to date today and give clarity on how despite all of that, you can still find the love that you deserve. Is dating today, in your opinion, harder than it's ever been? I was friends with my boyfriend before we started dating and I feel like that's a more natural transition than like seeing features on your screen and trying to make a decision based on like a list of things. People just try and avoid things because I think they're scared to say things straight up. One red flag and you're kind of like, oh, I can go find somewhere else. You don't need to have one person when you could have like five. Honestly, I don't know. I've had really bad luck. So everything. Like I've been treated like shit. I think a big part of it is because of social media. People see a lot. They're exposed to a lot. They're always looking for better, better, better, better. Everyone is always looking for the best thing and they always think something else is around the corner and you almost have too much access to too many people. So when it comes to dating, the biggest problem that I've noticed from everyone's answers seems to be social media and online dating apps. So I got in touch with Talia, a relationship and love coach to discuss how to create an optimal dating profile. So some things I look for right away, pictures of eyes. You certainly want to start with a photo of yourself. According to science, you bode better if you're facing the camera and not looking away for at least your first photo. I get weirded out by borderline nudity photos. I find that sends the impression of you're trying to show that you're physically attractive because you want someone physically attractive because you're interested in something casual. Especially if you're trying to show that you're physically attractive. I've had an app for like a week and then I was like, I don't like this. I like meeting organically, like at a bar is ideal or like through mutual friends or something. I feel like a lot of the people in this app can really meet my standards, especially within the gay community. We love to judge people. One of those days I was like, Oh, let me just go in there and this guy messaged me and he was saying, Oh yeah, you're cute. And then he goes like, Oh, I like super masculine guys. And I was like, okay, well that's really weird. Like I don't think I'm feminine. I don't think I'm masculine. I'm just me. How are you going to say that? You don't like feminine guys. You haven't even met me. So do you think it's a good or bad thing overall? It feels like a little like nook or cranny if you're like really busy. Like I don't drink. So after work, how am I going to like meet someone? It's apparent that the lack of non-verbal communication in today's dating world is what is primarily causing this fear of commitment and this inability to appreciate the person in front of you. But was the dating world always like that? Well, for better or worse, here's an example of what it used to look like. You do realize that the last time I went on a date was like 1999. That's when I was born. What was it like to date back then? Well you picked a spot and you just showed up and waited. Back then it was like all about getting a phone number, you know, on a napkin. It was so exciting. Now you guys just like swipe left, right and you know, you can make stuff happen. Is that a good or bad thing though? I don't know. Certain things might be more superficial. You might kind of judge like, hey, what's going on in the world by everything you see in your feed. But people probably just post like, you know, happy moments like the sunny days, not maybe like the rainy days where we have a harder time. One way to see it is like you have different tools and different ways you can go about it. So go out, leverage them and find what works best for you. Did you ever get ghosted? Ghosted? Oh, that did not exist back then. Really? No, that would be like a really awful thing to do. It was something called social connections back then, you know? So if dating used to look so much better back in 1999, then our job in today's dating world should be to bring back some of that old magic. Can you describe how you feel right now? This is Trevor, one of my childhood friends. Are you actually feeling it? I'm incredibly nervous, to be honest. I'm very anxious. Why are you nervous? I'm not trying to talk to strangers. He's an amazing guy that suffers from a common problem that most people in today's dating world have. They don't know how to approach someone. What does confidence look like? You're very sure about everything that you do and you're able to express that really openly. It's probably just bringing the best you can bring to be yourself. Not comparing yourself to others. When a person knows their worth, but also can be humble about it. The thing about confidence is if you don't have it, you have nothing. I used to believe that if you were just ballsy enough to walk up to the girl and talk to her and ask her out, then that was enough. But the truth is that confidence actually looks many different ways. What are some things that someone can do to be more confident in the aspect of dating specifically? Change the people you hang out with. If anyone of your friend is judging you for something you do, skip it. I think you have to start with accepting yourself and experimenting with that, trying to figure out what you like. And then express that to other people that you trust and see what their reaction feedback could be. You start that way until you get comfortable with your skin and then you start that with strangers and see where that goes. You just kind of have to remember that most of the stuff in this life doesn't matter as long as you're not hurting other people. So if there's something that you enjoy, just do it. Trevor and I have been friends since we were three years old, so we know each other really well and we're very similar people. You've said sometimes you feel really high in terms of confidence and sometimes you feel really low. Why is that? It's usually a reflection of how things are going in my life. I wasn't very proud of the things I had done or who I was. I feel like, especially during high school, sometimes I was trying to be someone I wasn't and it was just impossible for me to be confident. I like to think that I deserve to be confident, deserve to have a nice life, but that's not really how that works, unfortunately. There could be a lot of matches and a lot of potential happiness if we were just confident enough to go for it or shoot our shot or at least take the first step. But you can only do that if you know who you are. And in order to know who you are, you also have to know what you want. What is your ideal first date? Has to have alcohol. Yeah, something that's casual and has an escape plan. I think the date itself doesn't matter as long as afterwards you go on a long walk. In the past, I would prefer to do things where there's an activity involved, so if there's like a lull in the conversation, it's not super awkward. I'm not picky. It could be just a walk. Take what you can get. I just want to accept my expectations so low. I like to go for an activity because you don't really know the person. If the date goes badly, at least you have something to do. So I would say maybe like a game of pool or having a coffee and then going for an activity. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you? It's kind of cheesy. I've been with my boyfriend for seven years and we went to Subway and when we came back, he like set the table and lit candles and we ate our Subway sandwiches, which are typically not very romantic, right? But it was just like so sweet to try and make something that's usually not that special a little bit more special. This guy, I like kept telling him I couldn't hang out. And on Mondays, I'd watch The Bachelor and he watched 10 episodes of The Bachelor just so he could watch it with me and like know what he's talking about. Oh, that's cute. I know. It was really nice. I like that. Okay. Bonus question. Would you rate my friend on 10? Okay. Let me see. Okay. A good like solid nine on 10 is good. Wow. You're a nine. Yeah. How do you feel? What would you rate yourself on 10? I'd say like a seven and a half. Why seven and a half? I think it depends on what I'm wearing. I'm taking better care of myself now. So it's going up slowly. Do you think you have to look good to feel good or you have to feel good to look good? I think because I don't feel as good, it helps when I look good. But I do believe that if you feel good, you will look good. What a match you two are. How do you feel about that, Trevor? You're insane, man. I can't believe you fucking did that. I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry. She was so pretty and she just rated you nine on 10. Dude. Do you not feel good about that? Yeah. It's nice. That was awesome. What are the odds you ask her out? Honestly, the first thing I thought, I'm not going to lie to you, was she'd just be nice. You think she's into you? No. Do you think if you asked her out, she'd say no? Yes. Why? Because she's older and very pretty. Convince Trevor, after 20 minutes of deliberation on this chair, to go and ask the girl that we just spoke to out on a date. 20 minutes of being insanely nervous. Let's find out. What happened? I was super chill. What happened? She just said, do you have a boyfriend? And I was like, okay, no problem. And then she said, like, respect on having the balls to come up to me. I was like, thanks. How do you feel? That was a joke. But it's also like, it's tough because she's just such a nice person. Could you stop? This is so awkward. Everything that has happened in this video is leading up to this one moment, which is actually setting one of my friends up on a first date. This is David, one of my good friends. He is one of the most confident, charismatic people I know when he's around people that he's comfortable with. But when he isn't, he's very shy, especially around women. I actually threw this event a few weeks ago where I invited 50 strange people to come At that picnic, David was there and he met this girl and they hit it off and they were talking the entire time. And I kept nudging him to ask her for her number and ask her out, but he couldn't pull the trigger. I want my friend to be happy. And I believe that this woman has a chance of making him happy. And if it makes him too nervous to do that, well, then what are good friends for? So that's my job today. This is Dennis. Dennis is roommates with Elena. So Elena's the girl on this date and Dave is my friend. He's the guy on this date. We're going to go tell Elena right now that she's about to be set up on a blind date. What do you think her reaction is going to be? She's going to be excited. I don't know. She likes this kind of stuff. Hi. How are you? I'm making a video that's about the dating world. And part of that video is setting up two people on a blind date. That's so cool. I've never been to a blind date. No? Yes. Tonight is the night. I'm just really curious to know David's reaction when he sees Elena. Like you heard in the story before, he was too nervous to ask her out in person and on text. It's very cute. But at the same time, it's a very sad reality when a lot of guys can't ask the girl that they really like out because they're just too afraid of getting rejected. What's up, YouTube? My name's David. I'm going on a blind date and I am stressed as fuck. I am so stressed. I was like at my office just like... And they're like, Dave, what's wrong? And I'm like, guys, I have a date tonight. Oh, isn't that a good thing? I'm like, I am so stressed. I don't know. What do you do on a date? Where do your hands go? What do you ask? And they're like, how was your week? And I'm like, thanks. Do I look nice, YouTube? Comment below. Do I look nice? Look at that. Morta. I hate you so much. How was it? It was fine. If you could offer some solutions on how someone could better date or find love, what would you say? I think the grass isn't always greener on the other side. So like, work with what you have. Find a person. But also, know when to leave. Because some people get too comfortable and stay. And you need to know when to leave. Be honest and try being yourself. There's someone out there that will like you for who you are. Get off Facebook. Get off Instagram. The best thing you could give a person is your attention. If you give that person your attention and it shows that you're trying, I think that's already a good step in the right direction. Talk about your feelings. Talk about your problems. Get advice. Outsource help. Shoot your shot. Yeah, shoot your shot. In this video, I've spoken a lot about dating problems and why it's hard for people to find the right person. It's not just a matter of compatibility. It's also a matter of other external factors like timing. In my case, there's one person that I've met that made me feel really good. And I haven't seen her in seven months. We were in a long-distance relationship and got to a point where it wasn't making any sense. So, I decided to take a break. It's been painful. And it's that person's birthday in a few days. I'm thinking right now, what if I fly out and surprise her for her birthday? This could end completely terribly. But it could also end really well given how much I'm thinking about her and hopefully how much she's thinking about me. I guess if I've learned anything from this video, it's probably that the risk far outweighs the consequence when you're doing something for the right reasons. Is all hope lost? People who are single are unhappy. People who are married are unhappy. It's like everyone seems to be freaking unhappy. And that's the other thing. It's that endless ladder, right? Everyone wants better. You've got to be happy with what you've got. If you like this video, then you are definitely going to like this video right here. If you haven't already subscribed, please make sure to do so. I'm Will. And as always, it's a mindset. See you next time.