Crazy Boss Job Interview - Saturday Night Live

Hi. I'm, uh, here for the job interview. Have a seat. Thanks. How you doing? I'm all right. So you want to work here? Well, yeah, of course. I love to work here. Are you, uh, are you asking me a question? What do you think? Well, yeah, it sounds like you were asking a question. Oh, well, you're right. I was asking you a question. What'd you think I was doing? I don't know. What'd you think I was making, a joke? No. No, I don't. I mean, I, I didn't. Jeez. Okay. All right, what is this? Uh, I, I can't even read. What, what, what is your name here? Is this Joe? John? Michael. Michael? It looks like John. Michael. Yeah, I know that now. I'm just saying, the way you wrote it looks like John, all right? All right, what's this? This is, uh, what does it say here? Yucca? Yucla? Yucca? Yucca? What? That's, um, that's UCLA. UCLA? What is that, some kind of club? What? No, it's a college. Um, I went there for four years. I never heard of it. I've heard of Pepperdine. Why didn't you go to Pepperdine? I don't know. I just didn't. I, I went to UCLA. Yeah, I know that now. I'm just saying, I've heard of Pepperdine. Is that all right with you? Is that all right that I've heard of it? Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, of course. You know, John, it's not all here. You know what I'm saying? Some of it's here. God, man. Are you married, John? Michael. No. You got a girl? Yeah, kinda. And when's the last time you had sex? I don't mean with her. I mean with anybody. I don't know. A couple weeks ago? Yeah. I haven't had sex in a while. Yeah, her name was, uh, well, it was like a pet's name. Something like Dash or Dasher. Not like Dash Hound, but Dash something. Dash, Dashie, Dash, I don't know. Anyway, she looked all right. She had a rod in her leg. She couldn't dance. It sucked. I'm sorry. Yeah, what can you do? All right, I'm not gonna hire you. Why not? Because I don't like you. I mean, I'm getting this kind of weird vibe from you, you know? But if you want to continue the interview, we can. Why would I want to sit here and be interviewed when I know I'm not gonna get the job? I think you're an interesting guy. We've got a lot in common. I mean, my name is also John. My name's Michael. Michael, not John. I'm gonna go. Go? Wait, whoa. What are you talking about? I just told you I haven't had sex in a long time, man. I just gave you a piece of me and now you just want to bail? You gotta give me something, man. You gotta open up. What do you want to know? I mean, I don't know what to tell you. Something personal. Anything. I don't care. I don't know. I'm allergic to cats. I tell you I haven't had sex in nine years and you tell me you're allergic to cats? What the hell? Get out! What are you talking about? I was asked to stay here. All right, you got the job. I do? Yeah, man, it's that simple. Congratulations. Thank you. You start tomorrow. You did great. See you tomorrow, buddy. Be good, John. You, come on in. Listen, I gotta tell you, What? Now, when's the last time you've had sex, John?