What to do when you don't know what to do

Hey, Conor here on the roof of IESE Business School in Barcelona. What I wanted to share with you today, what to do when you don't know what to do. What to do when you don't know what to do. And this can apply when you don't know what to do, or if you're with someone that's really struggling to find out what to do. Three things you can do when you don't know what to do. Three things you can do when a friend of yours is stuck and just doesn't know what to do. Body, others, unconscious. Body, I remember years ago I was struggling, 2008, business really in a mess. And I was at a conference where I was listening to Mario Alonso Puig. Mario Alonso Puig is a neuroscientist, a doctor. And when I told Mario Alonso Puig that I was struggling, I was in difficulty, the first thing he did, he said, sit up straight. And he made us all just sit. He says, put your head up. And he said, the first thing that he does with a patient who's really struggling is just get them to sit up straight. And for me, movement, getting your body moving, getting a friend's body moving. So going for a walk, getting movement. There's a story that a shark, a shark can only breathe when it's moving. It has no lungs to move the water in and out over its gills. The water only flows over its gills when it's moving. So a shark, if a shark stops moving, stops the forward movement in the water, it can't get oxygen. And I think a human being, once we stop our body moving, if you're sat on a sofa, no opportunities are going to come, nothing new is going to come, no good thoughts are going to come. So the first thing to do when you don't know what to do is get your body moving. At the very least, sit up straight. Much better get out and walk, get moving, get running, get physically active. So the first thing to do if you don't know what to do, move. Second thing, others. And there's an email I get regularly, I don't know if it's monthly or weekly, from Gary Bernison, who is one of the leaders of Corn Ferry, a headhunting company. And he often shares personal stories in these emails that really helped me to get an idea. And one of the stories he shared recently, he was in a Starbucks, and at the next table, he could see a man in a suit, clearly well-dressed, but his leg was shaking, he was breathing nervously. And Gary, being part of a headhunting career company, found a moment and just said, hey, job interview. And the other guy said, yeah, it's really important. I really need this one. And the guy started talking all about himself and how much he needed it, and how it was so important, how he was struggling. And Gary said to him, do you have a photo on your phone that has a real special meaning for you? And the guy paused, took out his phone, and he pulled out a photo of his family. And he started to talk about his family, his kids, what they meant to him, how important they were, why this job mattered for them. And this idea that Gary, what he managed to do is get this guy who was nervous and worried about himself to think about the other people in his life, to think about who matters. And all of a sudden, all the nervousness went away, the leg stopped shaking. He connected to a more important reason why this job was important that was not about him, but about the people that he loved and he cared about in his life. And I think when I'm struggling to know what to do, one of the things I pull out is a list of the people who are important to me in my life. And I just ask myself, what did they need from me today? And I like this story of the photo. So I think with any friend of mine, with anyone I'm around, we can always just ask, is there a photo on your phone that has a special meaning for you? So getting people to think about others. The first thing is get them moving, get them out, get them walking, get them physically active. The second thing, get them thinking about the people that they care about, the others around them, the people that matter for them, the people that have inspired them, the people that they love and love them. The third thing, when you don't know what to do, and for me it's to write, write things down. And I think writing is how we access our unconscious. Writing is how we think. Writing is how we know what we're actually thinking. When you're just thinking, when you're just sitting still and there's noise in your head, it's chaos. It might feel like it's reasonable, but it's chaos. It's only when you put the words onto a page that it starts to be ordered and make sense. And I think just putting a pen on a page and letting stuff come out, what you're worried about, what you're hoping for, who's around, what thoughts are in your head, doing it just once isn't going to give you access to what's your purpose or what are you looking for, what do you need. But getting in the habit of allowing your unconscious this mechanism to give you messages of that each day you open up a book, you touch the pen on the paper and you just let stuff come out. It's not going to transform your life in one minute or in 10 minutes or in one sitting. But the habit of each day, listening to yourself think, putting order in your thoughts, seeing what you worry about, seeing what you hope for, seeing the people that matter. After a month, after two months, you start to have a great clarity about what are the things that worry you, what are the things you're hoping for, what are the things that are missing in your life, what are the things that you love in your life, what are you grateful for, who are the people that matter to you, where to get into places you can meet more people that matter to you, whatever it is for you. So to me, the third thing to really find out what you do, what you should do when you don't know what to do is put your pen on a page and let stuff come out and be surprised about what your unconscious has to communicate to you. Sometimes what I get people do is just draw pictures because writing is a real connector to the rational mind. Drawing pictures, drawing stick men, drawing images of what you're hoping for, images of your dream job, images of whatever gives your unconscious access to symbols and metaphors that can allow you to understand yourself much better. So for me, three things to do when you don't know what to do, three things to help someone else with when they don't know what to do and are stuck. Get their body moving, get them thinking about others, and get them to put the pen on a paper and just let stuff come out. So hope you're having a great day, sunny Saturday here on the roof of ESA Business School. Thank you for your likes, your comments, your questions. It gets me making these videos, so have a good one.