Kim Kardashian | Angie Martinez IRL Podcast

This episode and conversation is powered by D'Ussé. So I am at this stunning office. Thank you. The stunning office of Kim Kardashian. It's not just Kim, right? It's Skims. It's all of your businesses here. It's not really our main Skims office, but it's everything I do. So it's my skin office. I just rebranded my beauty brand with my skincare, with makeup. It's so nice. The table is beautiful. The chairs are lovely. It looks like my house. It does, right? It's all monochromatic. When I post pictures of my house, they're like, wow, this is so minimal and crazy. Or they're like... Or they get it. Yeah. But I love it. I just like... I get it for you. When I came in, I felt immediately peaceful. Yeah. And I realized for your life, and as crazy as your life is, you must need this. You must need peace at any way you can get it. And when I walk in, and I see just a calm, peaceful workspace, living space. The people who work here are all color-coordinated. Yeah. Is that intentional? Absolutely. I have uniforms. Stop. Is there really a uniform? Stop. Well, it's not like, hey, this is your uniform. It's just color palettes. Is this like a handbook, though? I have a handbook, yeah. You do? Yeah. Grays. Heather Gray. Black. Navy. White. Cream. Khaki. I mean, we can stick with all neutrals, and not a lot of color-blocking. My house is so zen, so I asked how everyone felt about it, and everyone actually said that would make our life so easy. And once everyone was on board and thought it would be easier for them, I was like, yes, let's do this. It's so good. It really is a feeling. I should have, like, a free dress day on their birthdays or something. Free dress Friday. No, you'll hate it, because somebody will wear something wild and it will irritate you the whole day. You don't want to do it. I'll be prepared. First of all, Kim, thank you for doing this today. Of course. It was such like a, I was coming to L.A. I've shot here before, and it's funny because this podcast, actually, my first episode was with Lauren London and sharing her story and how she's gotten. Have you met her? Have you spent time with her? Oh, yeah. You know, Lauren. Yeah. She's done a lot of work on herself, but she's managed to get through this type of trauma, and she just opened up this podcast in a way that was so truthful and so honest that it just, like, set the tone off for me and the types of conversations I wanted to have. Because after you talk about the realest shit ever, it's very hard to go back to conversations about. What are you wearing? Exactly. What is your staff wearing? Exactly. I'm interested in what your staff wears, but you know what I'm saying. Like, I'm so interested in having, like, real conversations about just our real lives, and what I'm, like, most interested in you about is you seem to have navigated, because you have a very complicated life that is so big. It's so big, and everybody has so many opinions about it. Yeah. And you're constantly the topic of conversation, which brings so much energy to you. Yeah. You just, there's so much energy around you. And I'm just fascinated how you manage it. Yeah. And do you manage it well? And how? And what are the keys? I do manage it well. When I'm going through something, I take a minute, and I'm just like, but because so much happens all the time, sometimes I don't have all, I can't put all my energy into that. If something is happening to me, I will make sure that I deal with that. Whether it's, like, a situation that I need to just, like, dig deeper in myself to figure out why this is happening, or situations that have happened and I felt like I needed to go to therapy. I personally don't have a therapist, and I'm not the biggest therapy person, but I'm not opposed to it if I feel like I need it at that moment. So I'll take care of myself, and I'll make sure that I take a beat. But I do manage it well, and I think that I am probably the most calm person mentally, emotionally. You have to be. I just, yeah. And I think that, like, if anyone can handle things that have come my way, it's definitely me. Doesn't mean that it's not hard, and doesn't mean that I don't feel it. Opinions, and when I see a lot of stuff sometimes, that kind of stuff gets to me. And I wish I was a bit stronger at that. But I do manage it well. You do manage, no. Yeah. You have to manage it well, because people would quit. People would have breakdowns. Yeah. The amount of energy that you carry around you all the time, I don't think the average person could withstand in a healthy way. And I've said that to, like, family members. After, like, some shit's gone down, I was like, you guys, thank God this happened to me, because if this happened to you, you'd be fucked up for the rest of your life. Like, I truly believe that. And I don't know why I was given that ability to take it. I don't know. I really don't know. Sometimes, I mean, I joke with them, and I'm like, you guys, I'm like a robot. Are you a robot? Is that what we're going to learn on IRL today, that Kim Kardashian is a robot? No way. Because sometimes I'm just like, I don't know why I can, I don't know why I can handle this. I saw you in Miami, you looked amazing, by the way. Thank you. Little strap thing. Had to get out. So cute. You were having fun. Had to be out the house. And I saw Serena, who I know you're friends with, post some pictures. So then I went down a rabbit hole looking at some of the comments. That's what I don't do. I don't look at comments. I can't. Like, some people bullshit, and they're like, oh my God, I don't look at it. Like, I actually don't. Yeah. And then if I do, that's the time where I'll like, spiral for a minute, and then I'll just say like, I actually can't. It's too much. Yeah. But what I think it is, part of it is, because I'm like, everybody's so mean. Like, what is that? There's like a thing about you that people don't think you're like human. It's like, because your brand, your family, it's like you've become this like, thing. And there's no understanding that like, this is like a woman. This is a woman at the other end of that energy. Yeah. I don't know. What do you say to that, to people? Do you even give it any energy in your life? Or do you... That I actually don't. And I actually don't care. Really? That kind of stuff, I genuinely... I mean, I think it's like, fascinating that there is a lot of negative hate and energy towards my family. Because we all really like, mind our own business. We're all, you know, just obsessed with each other. And just, we're like a super, super close family. So, I don't know where that energy came from or where that started from. You've never really tried to like, assess it or be like, decode? What is it? Or what? Yes. You know? No, no. But yet, we definitely are held responsible for a lot of things that even aren't even us. Yeah. We take that burden on. You especially. I mean, I think Chloe, I think me, I think, you know, I think a lot of us, my mom. Yeah. You know? That's true. I think you a lot. I think you a lot because, also, because of Kanye. I feel like all that energy comes to you. Do you feel like that? Yeah. And I used to really feel that way. You know? And, I mean, I feel like I've felt a little bit of separation since I've, you know, I filed for divorce like two years ago. So, I started to slowly feel that separation. But, you know, I think that, that will always follow me. You know? I think you're so gracious about it. I'll be honest. I think you, even when you were attacked or maybe, I don't know if attacked or if you've ever felt attacked or maybe accused of things. All the time. Yeah. All the time. Just recently, actually. All the time. Is it a conscious thing to not talk about it or to, I don't know, I feel like, and this could just be my assumption, is that you protect your kids. I definitely protected him. And I still will in the eyes of my kids, for my kids. So in my home, my kids don't know anything that goes on on the outside world. And I've managed, How do you do that? I've managed to, I'm holding on by a thread. I know I'm like so close to that not happening, but while it's still that way, I will protect that to the end of the earth as long as I can. Like I will. I mean, my kids, they don't know anything. How? With social, they're in school, they're on social. So at school, like some of my best friends are the teachers. So I know what goes on at recess. I know what goes on at lunchtime. I hear what's being talked about. None of the kids have ever said anything to my kids. Wow. Social media. My kids aren't, North has a TikTok account on my phone and my phone only. They're just not on social media. They don't see stuff. I keep, you know, when stuff's going down, like I protect stuff in the house as far as like the TVs and the content that's on. That feels like it must be a full-time job. It is. Yeah. It is. Yeah. But worth it. Yeah. I mean, worth it because I think that, of course, I want to disassociate in specific thoughts and things being said because that's not me. But at the same time in my home, like I could be going through something but if we're riding to school and they want to listen to their dad's music, no matter what we're going through and no matter what is being, happening in the world, like I have to have that, you know, smile on my face and blast his music and sing along with my kids and act like nothing's wrong. You know, as soon as I drop him off, I can have a good cry or, you know, text back and do what I gotta do but it's like I had the best dad. I had, I don't want to get emotional. Aw. It's just been a day for me. But like, It's been a time. It has been. You know, it's hard. Shit is like co-parenting. It's really fucking hard. You know? And like, You're not co-parenting with the with just anyone. Yeah. For the quietest, easiest. But I had the best dad and I had the best memories and the greatest experience and that's all I want for my kids as long as they can have that. That's what I would want for them. You know? So like, if they don't know things that are being said or what's happening in the world, like, why would I ever bring that energy to them? You know? That's like, real heavy, heavy grown up shit that they're not ready to like, deal with. You know? And when they are, we'll have those conversations. But like, and I'll be so prepared. But, until then, I'll do anything. Yeah. To like, keep their life as normal as this. You know? They don't have a normal. This is like, hell. But they're so normal. Like, they really, really are. Like, they're super like, like, super creative and super special. But as far as just like, socially, they're super normal. And I love that for them. And that's why like, you know, I, I love just all their friends. Like everyone, they just have the best crew. The TikTok is so good. Oh my God. It's so good. It's so embarrassing. The things you'll do for your kids. Of course. If I will do TikTok dances with North, you know. You always said you're not a good dancer. You've always said that. Here's the thing. Well, I'm not like a great dancer. You said that. I hate to dance. It's just not my thing. Right. It's like, so not my thing. You would never get on TikTok by yourself dancing. Not in a billion years. Yeah. I would never get on TikTok. I saw a thread the other day about people saying that North runs you. She does, though. No, she doesn't. A little bit. But when I get, when, when it's serious and she knows, she knows I'm, when I'm being serious. But I just, I just let her, you know, like the other day we're just in the car and she puts on these beats with no like words or lyrics. And she just sits in the car. She could for hours, just raps like over the beat. So I can just, so I press record on my phone just so that like one day she'll hear it and it'll be so cute. I'm, I'm like a, a memory documenter. I like to keep everything. And so that's just like our fun times just driving around and she loves to blast music and just like freestyle. It's so. Is she going to be like a rapper? Like what is she? You don't know. She's going to, she's going to be fashion. What do you see? What are you, what is your dream for your kids? I know you want them to be happy and do what they love, but like. No, but that's it. Like just be happy. I just truly want them to be happy in what they do. And I have very, very happy babies. Like they are so, such good kids. So cute. So happy and kind. And they are probably my biggest reality check. I mean my morning madness in the morning to get four babies ready for school is insanity. Is that every day? Do you have help? You have help. I do have help in the morning. I have one person to help me in the morning with the two little ones mainly. And I get up really early to work out before everyone wakes up. And I always leave a note. Like there's always a baby in my bed. So I'll leave a note. Like I'm in the gym. If you wake up, you know otherwise as soon as I get in I wake everybody up. And then it's like a mad rush out to get ready and do hair and you know the whole thing. So. They're so cute Kim. I wouldn't have it any other way. Isn't it crazy how as like women like I could sit here and ask you oh the things that you've been through in your divorce or whatever and you're like answering me just fine. But the second we talk about our kids. Yeah. It's a different type of like. Yeah. It just hits different. How we want to protect them. How we want to. You know the thought of them having to deal with something that's challenging or hurtful or. And you asked me about like the grace. I. One day. My kids will thank me for not sitting here bashing their dad when I could. You know like of course all the crazy shit. That's. You know not just me. Like it kills me for my family. Like I'm like I can handle it. But like. They'll thank me. And I will be. I'll. Privately answer anything that they want to know. But. It's not my place anymore to really like jump in. And. Sometimes obviously I have to. But then sometimes I'm like wait a minute. I posted something. In support of. The Jewish community. Or like even with the Balenciaga thing. It was like. Everyone was like why aren't you speaking out? Why aren't you speaking out? And I'm like wait. I'm not in this campaign. I don't know what's happening. Let me like. Take a minute to research this. And then as soon as I. Saw what. Everyone was seeing on the Internet. And the reality of the situation. I completely. Spoke out and gave my. My. Thoughts on child porn and completely denounced it. But because I didn't say. Fuck you Balenciaga. That's it. People got mad at that. So it's like. They're mad if I. Don't speak out. They're mad if I do speak out. And if I don't cancel. They're just mad. That. If you don't cancel someone in today's society. Then. It's just like. I know people talk about cancel culture and how crazy it is. But it's still happening. And so it's never been my place. Yeah. The whole point of life. Is to. Make mistakes. Is to grow and to evolve and to be better people. Obviously there is absolutely no place. Or. An ounce to even play with anything with children. Like any sexualization of children. There's like not an ounce of that in our should be in our brains and in our society. I get that. I couldn't have been more clear on. This is horrifying. This is. This is disturbing. I mean. But unless they heard what they wanted to hear is like fuck you you're canceled. Don't you feel like though isn't there a part of you that feels like no matter what you say. Or no matter what you said that there's just. There will be people who have a problem with whatever version of. Response you have to a Balenciaga or to something you know Kanye might say or don't you feel like you can't win or. Totally. You definitely can't win. No matter what you can't win. But I'll still be me. I just think that my. This week was just really testing for me just because I'm in so much other shit that's not my shit. And that is like I just you know when you just don't want to be a part of the narrative but you're brought in. But then I have to take responsibility and say OK people look at me as the face of this. So let me. Let me speak out. I just always want to do the right thing. And you always have to just do what feels right. And you just can't. Take on all that extra energy. Is there trauma in that. Because I think for you. Do you wake up every morning and be like what could have what what shit could hit me today or where she can hit my family today. There's got to be like trauma in that like that you have that feeling every day or do you not have that feeling every day. I can't. You can't look like you can. I mean there's obviously you know maybe certain times or. You know when I was in a relationship before and you definitely wake up and be like what are we going to hear today. What are we going to hear today. Stuff like that. But I mean as far as like the family as a whole. Like thank God we just have each other. Yeah. Thank God. You know how we. I mean that's just like. Together. We've been. We've been having like family meetings just over dinners and just really. Talking about like life and what makes us happy. And so I think just coming together the closer we are the more we can tune it all out and just we have these deep conversations about. What's going on in the world and. It's a really different time. You know and it's really scary for sure. For everyone. But you just always have to. Do you. You always have to stay focused and you always just have to live your authentic life. And not worry about all these opinions. You know what I wonder for you is like you've been in this for so long and have been just subject to opinion for so many years. I was thinking today I'm wondering if ever. You know you brush off some criticism as hate and stuff but ever if there's been any criticism where you felt like. That's fair. Or if you had to like self correct something totally based on. Reaction. Yeah to you or yours whatever just. See that's what I'm like actually really good at is taking the criticism like if people were just real and not hateful and just be like you know what I really don't like this and I think that you should do this. I'm so open to. Those suggestions I mean like even when I was starting skims I didn't realize that our name that was kimono was going to be appropriating and right away it wasn't even an option like let's let's change this this is making a lot of noise and I didn't see it and the whole team didn't see it and that happens sometimes but let's do the right thing and we did so I'm open to that. What about when people were reacting so strongly to the you telling people to work their ass off. Was that a similar type of moment for you like that that affect you in a way where I hear you like I hear you you know when people were expressing how they felt it was that was a weird one because so many people were like absolutely yeah and in my didn't understand why everybody was so mad I actually had my producer Brittany I was we were talking about it she's 20 something I was like really the wire people's men and so she was like we were talking about the fact that maybe some people are you know they look at you as being privileged totally and maybe that has to do with totally is that what you received from it like what did you receive I received that also so the context in that was I had just been doing interviews for the last few weeks on people to work in my office and everyone had all of these you know well I only want these hours I want Fridays off I don't want to do this I don't want to do this so I'll only do this and I was just like I come from a time when we just grinded and everyone that I'm super close with that is built our businesses together we would just kind of do anything any job like get it all together even if it wasn't our job yeah and we'd ask for something we just get it done and we would just you know and also coming from like that workaholic mindset I think I just came off of all those interviews being like damn like no one really wants to work everyone has all these like God I'm blanking on the word but everyone had all these like provisions of what they wanted in their job right and I just never would have come into a job interview like that yeah that was different for me you know and like this younger generation but I think people also took it like it was coming out of coven a lot of people that really wanted to work didn't have the opportunities to work and might not have had the opportunities that I have had and so I saw that and I was really mindful of that that like sometimes people do really want to work their ass off and they're not given those opportunities and they're not in the position to do that even if they really want to so I saw that and I'm super super sensitive to that and if I say something like I just wasn't generalizing it for a bunch of people it was just my specific experience I had a similar when I just posted recently on Twitter because I was looking we were looking to hire somebody like at an entry level to help us with the podcast and stuff and so I was like we're all bit like back in the day we had interns I interned for years for radio and I was like where are the interns and the response I got was nuts people were like that's like we don't do that anymore no work the work for free doesn't it like people were angry and I was like I was trying to give somebody an opportunity it was I was looking for a paid intern and not even a paid intern it was more like an entry-level kind of gig but I was just looking for young hungry people who wanted to learn something and but the times are different and so that was education for me I was like I get it and actually they're right people shouldn't because I'm sure they're people have been abused in those type of situations and so I got it but I thought that's what I was talking but I come from the same thing I come from working my ass off and so I passed out and you know so I understood how that happened for you and I was wondering what you got from it it opened my eyes it did to that yeah no it really did I'm oh I just always try to like I think also no matter what phase no matter what stage I'm out of my life I'm never too above or never too good to want to learn something new and to not I never want to stop evolving I never want to stop growing you know I don't I'm not that type that thinks I know everything you know but I'm also not one of those people that is like oh my God I wish I wasn't famous being a celebrity is so hard obviously more money more problems like all of that yes you know and my mom lives with that guilt a lot you know like God if I hadn't really like encouraged everyone maybe we wouldn't have like some of these hardships that come in our lives and I'm like mom this is what our journey is this is like for us to elevate to the next level like we have to go through these things in life in order to be able to grow and evolve and get to the next level like this is what our journey is supposed to be these hard things what would life be if nothing was you kind of enjoy the challenge of it I think to maybe not when I'm in it but I'm proud that I made it through and I'm proud that I I learned my lesson from every single thing that I go through I'm so not oblivious to what's happening when it's happening and that is I think such an important place to get to even if I'm like even if it's a smaller thing I'm like okay this is gonna teach me this that's interesting is there ever a time where you do feel like you could I know you know I know you're not the what was me I'm famous I don't want to be famous but like because you can't even can you go to the supermarket you can't go to the supermarket you can't go to can you go anywhere do you ever miss any normal life activities absolutely like what I mean I really missed going to like CVS and stuff like that was my life I saw you go to CVS with David Letterman yeah that's the first time in how long in a long time but I'm also like I went to CVS today it wasn't really not that great it was okay Target Walmart like all those a grocery store couldn't you do like I know Beyonce does Beyonce said she's put the skies on to go bicycle on a bike in Central Park have you ever tried no I mean I think it's like because then you need security because you need that you know it's like it's fine you're okay I'm fine you know you could have a CVS in the back of the office I'm fine what are you most proud of about yourself I mean I'm sure you're proud of your kids but I mean about you like like in terms of your evolution and what you've become and what you've built I'm most proud that I've gotten to a place in my life where it's not all about me and a lot of my life has been all about me and I hustle just in helping other people and dedicating a lot of my time and energy to helping as many people as I can just in the prison system and learning a lot and probably like the challenge of actually going back to school I never was like a school girl I never really liked it so the challenge of like going back and having to study I mean I do like 20 hours a week plus you know every single day I take one day a week off and you know I have like about a year and a half what are you working on now like what are the cases because you're doing as you're studying and getting your so I work on cases at the same time yeah I will be working on I mean the Julius Jones case in Oklahoma we he was granted a stay of execution but he still is now in prison life without parole so that'll be something that we'll work on and till we get him out and continue to fight for him working on C murders case constantly for a long time you know that case yeah what do you do exactly like is it so are you trying to do well we're trying to get him out but everything is there every situation is different and I do everything privately first that's my strategy so if I have to get to the governor and the attorneys I will work privately until it doesn't work anymore and we really have to get loud and even when I get loud and I mentioned people a lot of the times we have communicated first before so I do like to communicate with whatever whoever's in power to help make these decisions and it's lengthy processes I did something I didn't know at the beginning and thought that everyone just got out when you make the call and with Alice I was really naive to how this all worked but it's it's a lot of work that goes behind it and a lot of the paperwork and the drafts that have to be written there's so many other cases that I'm working on why are you doing this I wondered if it had to do with your dad I think it's I think he would like love it and he would be so proud of me and so happy for me but do you think that that's the motivation for you I mean him and I talked about it actually we talked about me going to law school and he was like he actually was like listen I don't think being an attorney is gonna be your thing and and we talked about it and it's kind of like it's just more of like a personal challenge I hated how I felt when I went into the White House for the first time and I didn't know half of anything that they were saying like all of the like clemency talk and all of the like attorney lingo and everything that they were talking about I literally was sitting there like texting my attorney that was next to me like I was to the point where I didn't even know like all of the abbreviations in the White House so they were like okay this person at the DOJ and the bit and I was my attorney was like come on Department of Justice and like she kept texting me all this stuff but I was never too embarrassed to ask and I think that sometimes like you go into something and you like I should know all this stuff yeah so I just I just dove into it and then they kept on inviting me back like to full clemency meetings of how to make the clemency process easier and I remember having this big meeting in the Roosevelt room and and I just was I want I had to bring my attorneys with me and I wanted to be able to be there on my own and I felt like every time I help someone it would always be like okay well talking to the team well okay what can we do what can you do I'll just like supervise but like what can you do because you're the attorney they can get him out yeah and I just feel like I can get more people out if I knew it and I can do it myself I do all the work it's not just a small thing you know celebrities people without access or privilege decide so they want to give back in some type of way so they write a check or they yeah they donated a little bit of a time or they support a cause this amount of effort that you are putting in away from my kids every single day for three hours a day you know it's I do tests I have some midterms last week I'm writing essays I'm doing and then what's the end goal do you have vision for it like you know what like I hope that I can open up a firm that hires formerly incarcerated people I think they know the law so well a lot of the people inside that have had to fight for their lives with no attorney no access to attorneys no good it sometimes not a good attorney so I really have a lot of faith and trust that I can open up a firm that just like hire some really smart people that just work on getting people out this is like a huge reason why I also don't cancel people everyone cancels everybody but everyone cancels these people that like make a bad choice a horrible choice a really crazy choice sometimes but then I agree with you I think decades later for redemption for I think anybody is like I believe in redemption absolutely like absolutely and yeah I mean I I I hope that this is you know what I just like I do see like one day just being an attorney and like giving up a little Kim K you know I do see that that's amazing I don't know I don't know if you could pull it off because you love this you love this I know you love it all how much how much does like in real life so we met it's amazing how you inspire looks you wear something I see I go out I see I saw today and now I'm in Los Angeles so I really see the Kim K effect in my hotel lobby I saw three girls that looked like you yeah their hair was the same color blonde they had the same they were the same kind of dyed my hair blonde I was like okay I want to switch it out I want to switch okay but then when you switch it up there is a whole fashion movement of people that kind of come do you love that like is that a thing for you like do you still have that I don't really think about it you don't know I just like do what what I like and when I feel like a change and when I feel like you know I don't really think about that I just do like what I want to do and makeup that I like and I'm not thinking of like oh I have to start a trend I just wonder like in real life how much clothing means to you I mean material things because that is a criticism interesting is like it used to mean so much to me and it's completely how I valued my importance by the things that I had the cars that I had I had to have like I thought that that made me cooler and after I was robbed of all of it in Paris I didn't know I was meeting that lesson but that lesson was so well-received isn't it crazy how the universe will give you exactly what you need even if you don't understand it in the moment totally even if I believe that like shakes you to your core yeah like my bags my stuff even the memories of it like I know I have that memory so I don't really need that object I have objects I have it all and now that like when all my jewelry and stuff was taken from me like I don't I just truly don't care about stuff like that like I want what feels good I want if it's a memory I'll hold on to that but if it was taken again it wouldn't affect me like things are now just for fun for me but the lesson of having it all taken from me really made me understand that like all of this stuff doesn't matter and all of this stuff can be taken from you it doesn't go with you and I'm so happy that that all happened to me and like there's fires in Calabasas sometimes you know we have to pack up our whole house the first year go to my shoe and bag closet pack up everything maybe the first two that's what you're worried about I mean I have all my stuff my letters and all that kind of stuff like I already got rid of that but as far as stuff in the house go for it now if there's a fire I'd literally just walk out with my babies like I wouldn't even waste the time like it doesn't hold the same weight for you right you still love it you still love pretty things totally yeah but that's it's like the fun icing on the cake it's not the cake I don't need it and I'm and I'm secure and confident in myself to know that that I could walk out I know I'd make a bond and all that and stuff like I even that was like a shield you know always having to be made up always having to look a certain way no one likes to dress up more than me but I know I don't need to care what the comments say and all of that if I were to go out not looking the way that people want me to that is like I feel the way that I feel like I'm in my life right now I feel free I feel free of things I feel free of like opinions there's moments you'll have your moment how could you not but I'd say in this last year this year for me even I got emotional before talking about Kanye but that was in relation to like your kids my kids and my protection I feel free in the sense that I am NOT anybody else I don't hold anyone else's thoughts opinions burdens and I used to hold this guilt that I wasn't there to fix situations and I wasn't there to put it all back together or to I'm I'm free do you never feel the urge to like and I feel like you do sometimes watching your show and you respond to things when needed yeah but like and it's on my mood yeah because I mean recently he accused you of some things but he always has accused you of some things and or attached you to people or your family members to people and you haven't really said anything about any of that because it's like if I'm in a petty mood I'll go back and I'll be like okay I have all the receipts you know and like okay you want to mess with me on this like oh my god the receipts I have but then I go back to my babies and I think they will see if they'll feel my energy I'm the one that's at home with them 24-7 and they will feel my energy and if I have to go and deflect every ridiculous thing that is said about me even if it's from the person that was the closest to me that was supposed to protect me and still will post I'm your protector and I'm protected whatever if I go and let the energy in my life to go say this one's not true and this one's not true and this one's not true and no this is not true about my mom and no it's like I go back and forth on that sometimes I want to like get so sometimes I get heated and I'm like that is so not true and it like affects a lot of people I was gonna say that because sometimes it's not just even you and him sometimes it could affect other people's families it can only other people's absolutely yeah and that's I think the hardest part of figuring it out but sometimes you just have to say this isn't the energy I'm gonna let in my life and I have to like rise above it and not be in this like like I just from my mental health and my sanity as long as everyone inside knows what's good then it's like but the character I don't know what the word is pretty much the testing of my character to make me look like a bat like just out of my character is the one thing that's hard because there's already so many people that have that energy that you were saying that like are these haters of me and the fam anyway so it's really hard when there's also people that were once close especially for my kids like why would you even want anyone to think that of your mom you know for my kids that's what's hard for me and then I get really protective over my mom my you know how would you not yeah I get that you know but I handle it all internally you know what I mean like I'll speak out and turn I just I'm not that type to just go back and forth on the internet yeah I live my life on a fucking reality show I'm like there's social media everywhere like I'm just not the type yeah just say I mean the shit that I know in the shit that I've been through oh I bet it's you know it's wild yeah I'm just not the type to be like what does that do to your trust because how do you like like you said it's somebody supposed to be closest to you like you go and it's not just that's just Kanye I'm sure people in your life have disappointed you and people have actually been so good to me really people I've never had anybody really betray me but a few exes but the people in my life my friends are the best friends in the entire world my sisters like I have hit the fucking jackpot of friends and family and my sisters like and I think like karmically it's just all lessons it's just all like I'm okay with it all what about love where you would love I know things with the last guy with Pete didn't work out but it was nice to see you you look happy for a little while like you were having fun and light like you were enjoying dating yeah I was and that's that's what you know that what it was just so new and I didn't know what dating was for so long you know I've been in a relationship for like almost 15 years you know 12 years something like that and I don't know there's like a part of me that's like oh my god is everyone gonna be scared cuz you know I don't have the easiest ex and you know I don't think that's fair for me to ever put someone in a situation or bring new person in that could be super innocent so there is that side of me that's just like and there's a side of me that's like wait what why would I ever have to like live that way and I just wanna I'm definitely in my fun zone right now okay say I'm in my fun my fun are you dating um no how do you date even like can you like how hard how so what sucks is like so if you it's just all has to be like at a private house party or a house dinner or like you know and then sometimes you're so stuck in your zone working that you know Chloe and I were like we're going to Miami we're just going to Miami we're gonna go look like I was like oh they're on one out there yeah but and then you're like what am I doing there's no one out here so it's the point but here's what I was but the pool for you is very got to be very small it is somebody that's comfortable standing next to comfortable willing to deal with all the things that and then also somebody that will keep your interest in your but my person will be able to handle all of it and that I do know and that's what you believe in that I believe in God love I have faith and all of it and he will bring me my perfect person that we will I'm like the biggest hopeless romantic so I just I know that I just know that my person can can deal and my person will love it and and same with me and whoever that is do you pray a lot I do yeah I mean I pray every night with my kids even if I'm you know out of town they have to call me and we say our prayers together over FaceTime they just like that they can't go to bed without that um I love that but yeah I do what do you pray for just health and happiness mostly and calmness sometimes sometimes I need a little bit of help in that area yeah I'm sure the peace peace yeah but I I really do as much as there's the craziness around me I do feel at peace good for you I do and I think that is like I always say calmness is my superpower it is but I do have a deep deep sense of peace like I said like I'm free from all of like the stuff like none of that matters like I'm free from I'm at peace Kim that is absolutely I didn't you know we talk about superpowers a lot on the podcast and so I was thinking about yours but it really has to be calmness right this is no way you operate this ship without having that superpower like everyone says the world can be coming to an end and they'll call me and I'll be like you guys this is exactly what we're gonna do sit down I'm gonna handle it let me go out there I'll fix it let me let me fix the world coming to an end you might be the Savior it's a lot of bad shit going on in the world right now but you just I mean like first I'll have my moments because I just happen to be having like a rough week but then like even how I cried earlier it's like I was feeling that because I was emotional on the way here for other reasons let yourself feel that like I'm not gonna say cut that you know what I mean like that's how I was feeling then and now I can talk about if I were to talk about the same thing that we just talked about I would be totally together you know so it's like let yourself go through what you need to go through don't always be super calm when you don't when you're feeling those emotions but also like control your emotions I'm really good at controlling my emotions and going through them when I need to but also yeah but there's something to learn in that about like let it go let it go through you go through then let it go yeah like I'm not the type of person that'll fight in a relationship and bring up the same thing a million times when I let it go I let it go I mean if they're gonna start with me I definitely didn't forget I'll tell you but I'm not on a daily basis like beating you up about something that we can't change that hit we've been through you know that's just not who I am because that energy to hold on for me is worse it's for me not for you I'm not giving you the easy way out and forgetting it no not torturing you about it but if you fuck with me I will bring that out that is the one thing I sometimes watch for you and I'd be like well I wish she would pop a little more shit sometimes I wish she would be like fuck you or but where does it stop you're right there's so many things to say fuck you there's so many things to say not true not true not true not true fuck out of here you know like sometimes I want to do that and sometimes I'm brought to that point but then I feel like wait but then if I speak on this one then are they gonna think all the other ones are not true like then do I have to or are true then do I have to go back and like bring up every single thing because there's so many things sometimes I'm the one thing I have been tested so much this year there's been the wildest shit that I even have like in conversations in DMS like completely wild if like someone will speak out and I'll have the actual receipts and for me to sit on them has shown I think this year I've learned like restraint and I'll put him in my group chats and my girls will be like stop don't but so there are times when I really want to get out there sometimes but that it just depends on my like I have to be in like a silly mood just to more talk about dumb headlines yeah but I've realized like for my soul and my energy it's not worth it totally get it and there's no way I can say like sometimes I just be like okay you know this isn't right but do you want me to say some other thing like I just I don't know if I'd be able to stop if I started with how I am my personality so I just silence is there any other superpowers that you see in other people that you admire or that you don't have your of your own that you feel like I wish I could be like that person I wish I had that thing because I admire your calmness like thank you I think I'm a pretty level-headed person and I tend to be like black and white and strategic and you know and thoughtful but like I don't I don't know that I could deal with the level of energy because I'm also really affected by energy mm-hmm so like if I could be in a good mood and if I go in a room and three people's energy is terrible it literally will affect me yeah which that won't affect me in your space you couldn't live you couldn't live this life if that happened to you because then every day you're in subject to that yeah so that isn't that is a superpower that I admire that because I don't think it's just about calmness I also think it's about you being able to kind of protect your energy from yeah everybody else's but I wasn't always like that you learned it you built it you know what I was always calm I would snap sometimes but I think that there comes a time in your life when you have to choose yourself from your family from your friends from the energy around you and you have to find like what really makes you happy and work in relationships in the activities that you do everything and once you find what that is and you choose yourself doesn't mean then you can't then go you know get back to everybody else but I always put other people in front of me always and I think like a few years ago I was like I'm really going to this is that moment over my kit over everybody you first yeah and once I did now I can dive deeper into my kids now I can dive deeper into my sister bond relationships now I can dive deeper into my relationship with my brother and my friends and you know my mom like you just I don't know if it's age I don't know if it's experiences I don't know what it is but it's a peaceful place to be good for you nothing will really of course they'll be like emergency situations and how to figure out what to do and say and you know this Hollywood life or whatever but like when you ask me do I admire like other qualities like no because if I'm supposed to have those those will come to me and those will be the lessons that I'm gonna learn I'm like so at peace with like who I am good for you like I really am and that's what you've been dating and like relationships it's like if someone comes into my life that brings good energy so fun if someone doesn't I'm very direct and I'm like this just isn't gonna work you know and you're still like a romantic you're still hopeful and you're still you didn't let because the divorce does things there are women who've been divorced for 10 years that haven't been able to pull themselves out of that kind of what it does to people they say don't I think it's like divorce death move is like the most traumatic yeah things for people to have to go through yeah I'm always hope like I'm so hopeful that like and maybe it's like a ridiculous fantasy but like that all find my perfect person and and I mean I don't know if I'll get married again you know but I'll have my forever like partner you know that like I know that there's gonna be like he's coming he's coming absolutely I love that for you but I'm just like at peace I'm gonna have fun until that happen what do you think moving forward the next phase for you it's like what is the what is your purpose in the world right now and how do you want to be remembered and I think my next faith I think it's this like at peace phase that I hope lasts forever and I know I know that it's in me and once it's in you I don't think it'll ever leave I just want to continue to just be a good person and be a kind person but as far as my purpose I just hope that like people can realize that like it doesn't matter where you're at in your life or how old you are or you know what you thought your career path was going to be you can really change that at any time you want and you can really do whatever you want to do I'd never dreamed in a million years that I would go through with law school and if you support yourself if you surround yourself with people that really support you and like their eyes light up at the idea of helping you and are so all your friends you should feel that way about your friends like I look at my friends and I light up when they are doing amazing things and I'm so proud of them and I'm so excited for them you're not like a hater friend at there absolutely not and you can't I don't even have those in my life I do not have one hater friend in my life I don't have time for it I don't have room for it did you have to clean out a little bit as you grew yeah for sure but like my core has always been everyone that's been in my life has been there for I mean even my newer friends 10 15 plus you know like I just think you have to treat people right you can't really focus on I mean even if it comes in sometimes like negativity and just surround yourself with people and you'll you'll get to where you need to go but I think it's like I never dreamed that I would go to law school and really do it I thought about it I loved it I was into it but the fact that I'm doing it that's why I won't give up because I don't want my kids to give up on something that they really want that end result it's hard it's really fucking hard it's really time-consuming I don't have time for it but you make time for what you want and I want it and I'm gonna do it I can't wait to see what you do and that's the space thank you it's been inspiring to watch you build your brand and your business but I think in that space it's gonna really be interesting to see the work you know thank you I just want to help people like life just and when you put it in that perspective it's hard to like worry about the details of the nuances of the bullshit when you're like really trying to do something powerful and important and totally yeah I get that you know how can I be worried about some stuff like I really there's people that are really going through things and if you can you know change their lives and help out like that's all I want to do yeah Kim yeah Kimmy and look fly doing it yes that that I will always care in real life