Guest Host Jennifer Lawrence Interviews Kim Kardashian West

OK, let's do this. I have been obsessed with our first guest and her family for over a decade in a very, very healthy way. She is the queen of reality TV, social media, and now cosmetics, too, with her beauty company, KKW Beauty. Please welcome Kim Kardashian West. Are you excited? I'm excited. All right, buckle down and get comfortable. My first question, do you think it's a coincidence that Reggie Bush's wife looks just like you? I don't. So I've been obsessed with you, but probably not for you. But I've been obsessed with you for a really long time. But can you remember the first time we met? I do, actually. We were at a hotel in New York. And I don't know where we were coming from, but it was late. And we were going up to see this Axel Vervoort suite at the Greenwich? Greenwich, I think? Yeah. And I'm getting in the elevator with Kanye. And then the doors are about to close, and I hear Jennifer screaming, I love your show! Like, so loud across the whole lobby. That was the same hotel where I was taking off my bra under my shirt, and Kanye tapped me on the shoulder. I was like, what? Oh, my god. So recently, I went over to your mom's house for dinner. Yes. It was everything I could have ever dreamed of. Yeah. Because I have to say, so Jennifer came over for dinner, like, two weeks ago? Yeah. I've never seen my mom more drunk in our lives. We were worried. I was way more drunk than your mom. You take it easy on your mother. Not possible. It was so funny. I've never seen this. Don't even remember. At one point, it was like too, they had a few too many drinks for my taste. Yeah. Well, you were drinking tea, so I understand. And I remember getting naked in your mom's closet and ordering you to dress me. Yes. You dressed me fabulously. I looked amazing, as you could see in that video. Then is my memory correct? Did you call Kanye to come up in the closet? Did you want him to style me? You said, but I'm not joking, I really want Kanye to style me. And so I said, OK. And then I come back in, and you're fully butt naked. I come downstairs and tell him to not come upstairs. And we put on one of my mom's dresses, and you wore it throughout the whole dinner. Oh, I have it. I went home in it. So do you and Kanye, like, fart in front of each other? Or do you talk about farts? Like, do you fart in front of him? I don't fart. What are you talking about? I'm only asking. No real good way to segue into that. But I was just thinking, because I asked you to get me gas sex. And I remember Kanye looking down the table like, oh my god, she farts. I just had one of those stabbing gas pains in the back of my ribs. Yeah, because I was so excited. I feel like I know you so well now. Yeah, inside and out. So one thing that a lot of people might not know if they haven't watched every single episode from the time the show has started is that you run Instagram and social media, but you're also a bonafide hacker. Totally. I'm retired. So when I'm in trouble, I'm fully retired. But tell me about those days. Yeah, I used to be, like, the go-to spy that everyone would call and try to get info on their boyfriends or husbands or whatever. But how did you get it? What did you do? I just probably was in a really insecure, untrusting relationship, and I had to use my skills. Oh, we're going that far back. Yeah, yeah, no, it's far back. It's not like that anymore. I don't hack anymore. Kanye doesn't have a password on his phone. Yeah, no, he doesn't. But actually, we shouldn't say that. He does, people. Oh, yeah. Kanye doesn't have a password. No one tries to steal his phone. But he doesn't have pictures on his phone, so you're good. You can take his phone. There is this service that I figured out that you can call someone's number and make it look like it's anyone else's number calling them. So what I figured out is how to get into the voicemail system is if you call the number but make it look like it's your own number calling, it tricks the system and gets right into the voicemail system. We're screwed now that there's texting, because no one leaves voicemails anymore. Total creeps are screwed. I got major dirt back in the day. So do you think that you could hack a president's Twitter and maybe stop a war? You could save the world. In theory. Yeah, it's kind of like that game we were playing at the house. Remember? I don't remember. You were like, OK, if you could save the world, who would you rather sleep with? Donald Trump or Kim Jong-un? Oh, who did you say? Who did you say? I think we were just laughing so hard we didn't choose, but. Oh, that's important. I would have made you choose. I get very aggressive when I'm drunk. I probably put you in some sort of hold where you were going to pass out. Yeah, no, I don't know if we chose. So another random question. Is Khloe in on you being subtly rude to her, or are you just subtly rude? What do you mean? I love Khloe. We all go through periods, and she's like, her and I are really vibing right now. Yeah, I'm just maybe I was rude about her style. OK. But I love her style. I don't have a sister, so I don't know how it works. I just have free for all. Yeah, I mean, to be honest, if you had styled my suitcase, I would have probably been like, sick. I mean, if I had already packed it, I would have been annoyed. She already packed it. Yeah, see, you put all the work in, and then you. But the Polaroids was a really nice touch. I actually wanted to, for this show, I couldn't stop having ideas. I wanted you to come and organize my closet and stuff. I will. I'll come over. I'll organize the Polaroids, and I'll. OK, wait, wait, what do I? OK, I made you something, but I don't know if we have enough time. What should I do? Just wrap up this conversation, and we'll go next time. OK, well, when we come back, wait, no, wrap up the conversation. So OK, Kim. Very funny stuff. When we come back, I have many deeply personal questions I need to ask him. About her cosmetic line, KKW. This is one of her products, which I think I have. Never mind, no, I don't have that. This is for blush? It's for contour, blending contour. Contour, blending. Yes, not what you think it is. That is not at all what I thought it was for. You know what, I guess when I was doing that, I never thought all my things are like a flesh color, so I get it. But that's not really the color of. It wasn't necessarily the flesh color that made me think it was a dildo. I usually see like darker colors, so. Yeah. Until after the fact, when I was posting it on social media, and I was like, oh, this looks like a dildo. I didn't notice, because it was so white. So to move on from dildos, which I don't want to do, you have, you're hosting your famous family Christmas card this year. It is making a return. I've noticed I've never been in one. You are welcome. OK, good. I took the liberty of putting myself in one already. This, I drew myself. You're going to love the fan art that I made you. This is us. Oh my god. This is you. Eyes are closed in complete bliss. I love it. So you can keep this. Yay. I'm going to frame this. Yeah, you should. On your furniture. OK, so can I get to my deeply personal question card? Yes. OK, great. Well, actually, this is a total side note, but what do you think about Selena getting back together with Justin? I think it's so cute. OK. All right, what do you think? I don't know what to think. Who of all of your sisters lost their virginity first? Probably me. But I was in a serious relationship. I thought you were going to say Kourtney. You were? Yeah. No, it wasn't Kourtney. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes. How did you find out? My hacking skills. Nice. Yeah. I got into the voicemail thing, and it was on my birthday. I was at dinner with all of my best friends, put it on speakerboard, wondering like where my boyfriend was. His voicemail, he was flying in town to meet another girl on my birthday and lied to me that he was in a different city. Oh my god, that's like a Taylor Swift song. Oh my god, that's awful. I'm sorry that happened. Did you marry him? How many ex-boyfriends are still on your phone? Only one. OK. Yeah, and super friendly. He lives right across the street from Kourtney. We never really talked, but the nicest family, I went to his wedding, and yeah. Great. OK, on the count of three, I want us both to name your craziest ex-boyfriend. My craziest? Your craziest ex-boyfriend. One, two, three. Chris Humphries. What is the most incorrect rumor you've ever heard of yourself? I don't know, I start to believe them all. There's so many. I just don't even know. I know, it's so overwhelming. Whenever I get asked that question, my eyes go across. It's everything. Yeah. I know, and then after a while, there was footage that I had blamed Donald Trump for all the hurricanes in the world, and after I saw like the ninth headline, I was like, did I? But I didn't. OK, if you were stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would you kill last? Like I can only have one surviving? Yeah, like you've already killed the annoying ones, and now there's like, basically your favorite one. OK. I mean, my kids. Oh, wow, I forgot children were, now I feel guilty. I feel bad. You mean just the siblings? I mean just siblings, yeah. But I mean, if you were going to kill a kid, what kid would it be? Now, which of your siblings would you kill last? It might be Khloe, because I feel like she'd like kill me. Yeah. Well, then Khloe would actually be the one you'd have to kill first. Yeah. Like, just strictly survival-wise. OK, what is the weirdest thing Kanye does? He falls asleep anywhere. It's like, we'll be at a meeting, or like he'll introduce me to people I've never met before, and we'll be at a restaurant, and he'll be like snoring at the table, and I'm like stuck to fend for myself. Do you guys have like normal couple things where you like argue over who to hire to take the garbage out every day? We are super normal. We watch Family Feud every night before we fall asleep. Oh my god. Yeah. That's like overly normal. I watch you guys to fall asleep. How many of Kanye's albums can you name? All of them. Oh, you can? Yeah. That's sweet. You're a good partner. Yeah. Have you talked to OJ since he's gotten out of prison? I haven't. Damn it. I haven't talked to him in years. I think I saw him at like a club in Miami like a decade, maybe right, like eight, nine years ago. Did you talk to him? Yeah. Did you ask him if he did it? Did you just get that over with? I just never really like go there. I have like so much respect for his children, and I feel like my mom and Caitlyn both say like a lot about it and are really vocal, and I just feel like, you know, his kids, it must be like really hard, so I just try to like stay away from it. Yeah. This is the second time I've tried to attack children tonight. Has Kanye ever written songs about you that like we don't know about? Yeah. Can you tell me what they are? There was one that he hasn't released, but he sang it at the Met called Awesome. And he, right like before we got together, he had played it for me when he was recording Watch the Throne. And then when we, when I was pregnant and it was my first Met ball, he performed it like to me at the Met. Oh my god. Wow, that kind of stuff never happens to me. That must be really, really nice. I just want to keep like, so what does he wear to bed? What do both of you wear to sleep? I have like Kim Kardashian on a couch answering questions. Like do you ever sleep in socks? I sleep in socks every night. Like I put my socks up, I'm freezing. It's really cold in the studio, by the way. I'm going to talk to Jimmy about it. It is. Yeah, and I have a weird reaction where I sweat when I get cold. So I'm afraid to sit. If anybody at home is wondering why I'm sitting this way, it's not for my breasts. It's for my armpit sweat. I actually sweat when I get cold too. Yeah, it's not supposed to happen like that. And my leg hair grows faster when it's warm. OK, how did you pick your surrogate and why didn't you ask me? You. Did I? Was I even like in the conversation? I'll know if I do it again. Oh my God. I just can't wait for your kids to just be like teenagers and it's like the royal family. I'm just like, oh, what are they going to do? I hope they're just all so nice. They are. The whole family is so lovely. What did you guys do for Halloween? We all go to Courtney's and spend Halloween there. And I was going to do that thing that you showed earlier telling the kids that I took their candy and videotape it, and then I just didn't have the heart to do it. Yeah, there were some of those kids' reactions though I was watching. Some of them I was like, oh, and then some of them I was like, if I ever did that to my parents. I threw a cup at my parents. If my parents told me they ate all my candy, I would have been like, OK, well, I'm sorry. I'll be in my room. Yeah, Halloween's always fun. Like, Courtney goes so overboard with the decorations that I think her kids are just over it. Like, they're just anti-Halloween. Oh, no way. Yeah. What were they? Mason was Quavo from Migos. Showed up at school like Quavo. And Penelope was nothing. Oh, really sick of it. Not festive. And North was Wonder Woman. She was a few things. Her and Saint were Axl Rose and Slash. Oh, my God. But they had fits with the wigs and it was like a whole thing. So that lasted like one second. That's what happened to me at Halloween. Five minutes with a wig. And then they were bunnies to go trick or treating in. So they do like the 500 costumes like I did this year. Oh, I always thought that like if I had like a little baby and it was a boy, I would make him a Chippendales dancer and take his shirt off with a little bow tie. I saw this girl online did her daughter's like a Victoria's Secret model in with the wings and like in lingerie. But it was like a bathing suit. And I think she got a lot of s**t for it. Oh, this is the third time I have proven I'm not responsible enough to be around children. I just think it's sexy. Right. OK, so what do you guys like think about black China? You know, I was I always said when someone was going to ask me. You know, Dream is going to see this one day. And so I think it's just super respectful to just not say anything about, you know, my niece's mom. Got it. Totally. Fourth child. Highlight kits are available now. Kim Kardashian West, everybody.