Why 80% of the Words on Our Webpages Are Wrong (Part 1): Learn the #1 key to high-converting copy

I think I'm gonna start with a page that had the video honey yeah good morning or good afternoon depending on where you're tuning in I see familiar faces already joining us and I'm willing to get immediately into the content but it's good to see Nate and Doug and Ilan and Brian and others that I see on here regularly please notice the topic why 80% of the words on our web page are wrong now I want you to know that that's an interesting claim and I mean it precisely I mean at least 80% and it has to do with the choice of the words and it has to do with the order of the words but to solve for the broader question of how we can drive more performance high converting copy I'm going to take a route that may shock you in fact my next slide is the picture of an Australian athlete this Austrian I'm sorry athlete triathlete NAT Natalie Barilla I think is how you pronounce it was assaulted and kidnapped now I'm not resorting to sensationalism I'm not stretching for an illustration I want to show you how the words chosen by Natalie led to her escaping a very horrific situation I want you to understand and I know this is challenging for you to consider that Natalie was employing marketing by the definition I use when I'm teaching in this youtube series Natalie was taking her kidnapper on a journey that led to a series of conclusions which which motivated behavior that allowed her to escape the horror that she was confined in and Natalie's actual story which I've taken from the BBC is valuable to every single marketer online here now I don't want to focus on anything dark here or trigger any painful memories for guests in the audience but I don't want to miss an opportunity to help you transcend our very limited understanding of marketing moving it up so that we transcend the limitations of its connotations get to the core of its denotation and glean today a primary fundamental understanding of how human beings survive in a social dynamic you survive in a social dynamic by influencing choice and by making right choices each one of you that have joined me are born into a social dynamic you're in a world which is full of interdependencies and you may say wait a second where does this connect to writing copy this takes you beneath shallow mundane magic words and into the course psychology that enables you to be effective in your work as you are communicating a solution to someone but it connects to something deeper in the human condition each of us are born into a social dynamic where survival is dependent on the actions of other parties no person hardly any perhaps no person can claim that they are entirely dependent upon himself throughout your life throughout the moments of your day you are constantly choosing and you are constantly being chosen the combination of this choosing a sort of process from either end results in the quality of your life now with that in mind an attacker chose Natalie this person kidnapped her I'm holding up a story we're going to take the story apart and then I already have pages ready show us some of the pages let me go to the first one go to Honey web I did not look at these pages until seconds before I went live honey web submitted a live up page they want us to improve performance I'm glad that use of your page and if you'll scroll down further sort of show them the page this is what they have done in terms of communicating I want you to read some words on that page because I'm going to compare this pages approach with Natalie's approach in fact I'm going to make a strong claim Natalie's approach to marketing and that is influencing the choices of her assailant was highly effective and this page along with others submitted by people in the audience can grow in its effectiveness by learning what Natalie did so it says at the beginning are you looking to grow your business using proven online marketing strategies it asked a question but it says honey web are your local online marketing strategy experts based right here in beautiful Adelaide and we're not just a specialist you know and they go on we are this and we are that I want you to think about that copy because we're going to come back to it and as we come back to it we're going to learn transferable principles that will influence how we think about all the work that we're doing in our marketing collateral and in particular on our websites are you with me are you ready to understand how these two pieces connect so I have a simple promise for you today I want to take this problem of how do I write copy that really produces a difference in performance high conversion that gets to a yes I want to take that question and answer it with this simple promise what we're going to do is see a pattern that exists in all human relationships and from that pattern extract a set of principles that we can apply in the relationship you're creating with a prospective customer and I'll do that by first of all telling you the story so here it is in my hand held up we printed it and and I'm just going to hit the highlights it's all over the internet you can find it this happened in July of 2019 she's an Austrian triathlete and I'll read a couple of the phrases from it who says she was kidnapped stripped and threatened with drowning and not only did she say that they caught the assailant so it's not some bogus story and I won't go into the details yet of her story except to say for those of you that feel tension right now she escaped and she escaped in a remarkable way and that way the methodology she employed is the point of our story but I'll just go to the last part she says thank God I was able to free myself and I'm well except for a broken arm and a head injury this guy hit her over the head knocked her out she woke up unconscious she you know she was unconscious and it's a terrible story but she woke up tied to a chair stripped naked the man poured alcohol down her throat and did other things threaten to drown her so please understand that she wasn't dealing with somebody who is just uh intent on scaring her a bit this was a serious assault and everything she said and did from that moment forward from the moment she regained consciousness was critical indeed absolutely critical but Natalie instinctively moved through a process that I've been teaching in here for years and I want you to understand it as it connects to the webpage we looked at so to do that I want to I want to take you to some of the quotes in the article words that she said and then I'm gonna tie those to the key principles so the first note this is sort of the story is right here in the top let's let's go to that middle piece these are excerpts from the story pulled out and I'll tie these together with key points but notice this she says she admired them what is that about well somehow in the midst of the horror she was living she noticed orchids and she complimented the orchids now that caused some sort of significant change in the mindset it was an opening it was the beginning of personalizing Natalie's relationship to the attacker it established the opening for a connection to develop now I want to point out to you that I am trying very hard not to read into the story my own theory but simply extract a pattern I've seen in story after story like this and I've seen in relationship after relationship and which I believe is absolutely material to the relationship between a business and its prospective customer because business is not like establishing a relationship it is establishing a relationship relationships are not a metaphor relationships are the foundation of every business so stay with me Natalie admired them now I want you to notice his response I have it here in the article and you can see it all of the sudden notice the phrase right there it's in the middle all of a sudden the culprit was nice to me now I want you to notice something first you see an attitudinal change this attitude change because she drew attention away from herself and on to his work and he then drew from the compliment of his work a sort of personal I call it here in my notes a I am response he told her I am a gardener so now suddenly the initial attempt at connection established the beginning of a relationship where he translated her compliment of his work into something about his own identity and true to human nature as he proclaimed his identity to her I am a gardener he was also beginning to establish a new kind of mindset a new kind of attitude in his relationship with her we know now much more about this person and we know that he had a horrific childhood and his mother was not good to him she said earlier in the story that he was full of hate it's likely that his move against her was connected to this I'm not trying to get into pop psychology but I'm only bringing that point up because Natalie had to overcome this this mindset he had towards her and the only way that was going to happen now listen this is where it gets very serious and this is the first principle the only way that was going to happen was if she changed his observation set and established rapport so if you're following with me in your notes the first thing that I want you to see is that Natalie built rapport now this is a woman whose life was on the line she was a new mother you can imagine what was in her mind and that is not enough in its own right to save her but it was the only way it was going to happen and that's why I want to point out something to you in the beginning and this is critical and if you'll stay with me all the way through because you may not see where this is going you may properly doubt how I'm constructing it but wait till we get further in and you can see the whole picture the whole canvas and you may see something that is a profoundly important to your daily work even to your personal life first I would have point out that the observation and that's a classic component in perception and in psychology and in science and that is that that this man's relationship with her was based on his initial observation obviously he chose her and he chose her with let's call it a a negative set of intentions but she had to change what he was observing she had to get him to see her in a different way there are techniques for this in relationships but one is an honest compliment I don't mean a manipulative fake compliment I mean an honest compliment and that's the method she instinctively chose in an effort to survive so what you need to see that above this report piece really is she changed the observation set and the changing of the observation set allowed her to begin to establish rapport so you should noticed a the compliment be you should notice the implied identity by complimenting his work she connected to his identity which he responded to by suddenly describing himself as a gardener can you imagine how surreal that was this is a this is a criminal with horrible intentions suddenly describing himself as a gardener now if it stopped there we might not know this story and it might have just been a tragedy but then Nathalie proceeded to speak with him in a conversation so now under this observation under this observation / rapport peace I want you to notice three things that happened there was a compliment there was there was a appeal to his identity and finally there was a trust-building conversation now you'll see why in just a moment you'll see why I say it was trust-building but the three components that led to this rapport is is the beginning of of Natalie's effort to change his choice set are you all falling with me and and so stay with me and watch what happens next by the way I have been studying a series of these stories and they all have the same exact pattern I read one recently about an elderly grandmother carjacked and in a terrible situation but before she was done the carjacker drove her home now listen there's a reason here let's take me to the second big shift that occurred so you're going to notice that there was an observation set which changed and when it changed rapport was established and there are three components of that a compliment and an appealed whose identity and then finally a trust-building conversation I need you to really remember that word come sation and trust-building later you'll see how it connects to our websites and the problems we have with our attempt to to treat people in a way that will produce the right outcome for them and for us so what happens next well she moves from observation to influencing something that happens inside of his mind what was it conclusion sets now I want you to understand the importance of moving from observation to conclusion what's happening is you're shifting observations in order to produce a different set of conclusions we all know what his conclusions were prior to this exchange prior to this exchange he had concluded - let's use the word victimized to be polite don't forget he had hit her he had tied her up pour alcohol down her throat attempted to drown her he had a broken her arm etc etc that was just beginning so she had to shift and if you for a moment are thinking why are we using this McCobb story it's not crime I'm not looking to be sensational but you learn from the extreme edges do you hear me if you want to understand the psychology as it applies to marketing move to the extreme edges that's where truth is often hiding and from there you can extract the principles that you can tie together into a coherent whole so here she is now and we can start to see the conclusions change why well you can see they changed the way and here comes a critical piece for every person here who's in love with focus groups you know his conclusions changed not because he said so in a focus group often what you get from a focus group is more confusion than what you started with when you put them together I watched one of the largest brands in America spend ninety million dollars and destroy value because they built a product around the focus groups ideas she changed his conclusions and we know this not because of a focus group or his words but because of his deeds behavior is the clearest indication of the change in conclusion sets do not test at the level of someone's seeming but test deeper into their doing alright so stay with me so the observations are changing the conclusion is changing we can start to see that Shh he's beginning to see her in a different light than than perhaps he saw other women and we can also see that Trust is being established now I'll come back to the conclusion set I'll show you how we know that because what she's trying to do is not simply change his conclusions and marketer this is the point that we're all making a mistake yet okay listen to me carefully I don't want to keep going this way I think I'll I think I'll write underneath this and just take these three out and I'm gonna I'm gonna call this number one I'm gonna call this number two and then I'm going to get to the third thing what she's attempting to do is to influence a decision now if it's a genuine decision it will be actualized in physical reality but to get him to decide to free her she didn't do what many of us would do now listen to me because this is what your marketing sounds like she didn't say I'm actually one of the kindest human beings you've ever met I am the leading athlete in my country I am the leading kind person in my country she didn't say you shouldn't do this it's immoral it's wrong she didn't preach she didn't brag she didn't declare instead she connected and what's happening in page after page after page after page what I see in our copy is this shallow one-sided a mass of words hurled at the person in the form of declaration were the best were the fastest we're specialists we're good you can trust us how many times has someone said to you you can trust me and it turned out that you actually could have you noticed that the people who you can trust rarely go around telling you you can trust me all right so I would also suggest thanks Dave for what you're saying here cuz I forget this and it helps the community like the video please I saw this in a chat but right now if you like what we're doing today please like and subscribe and tell someone but stay with me so now what's happened is natalie is proving herself to be a much more effective marketer now when I say that it might be offensive to some and I'm okay with that I'd rather offend you and say something that is uh has real content then blend in and homogenized my theory of marketing with the vague nonsense of the masses listen to me Marketing is influencing a conclusion it then influences a decision which results in a behavior marketing is not making lots of claims and yet that's what our marketing tends to be we even call them campaigns we use military words we call people targets we say their leads so that means they just lead to value for us they're only worth is what they lead to in our pocketbook what you have to understand though is that marketing is a force that rules the world listen to me your entire life is influenced by it you believe certain things about drinking water that was marketed to you by the Gatorade and the fluids in the various vendors of sports fluids you believe certain things that are being marketed to you by the different food lobbies they're all trying to influence your conclusions and we don't even know how to untangle ourselves we're so tangled up in the cultural snares that have been set for us but on the other hand and this is very important person to the nature of marketing and uses it in the right way can transform results and impact the world you're gonna see Natalie not just saving her life but think about the fact she's a mother without newborn think of all the lights that are going to be touched because Natalie does this right and least unless you think this is just an anecdote this is a pattern some of you can instantly sense the truth of it others may need to go out and study more but this is a pattern in all relationships and I want you to learn this because if you learn it you can do more than earn a paycheck you can influence the world in positive ways think of marketing is a martial art you say well I think it's it's used too much for bad things probably is but that doesn't make it bad you know the greatest technology maybe the greatest technology thus far invented in the history of mankind tell me what you think it is take a moment tell me I'll come right back to these pieces there's a reason I'm asking you give me what you think is the greatest technology that is so far been given to mankind Elon says the wheel that's a good that's a good that's a good yes all right somebody else I see the wheel I'm waiting for another po8 yeah Andrew latencies riding let me stop there for a second I was listening to somebody else says fire this is very good somebody says penicillin very good I want to tell you that I don't know that there is an answer to this question there are only opinions and those are all good answers but I heard a perplexing answer one that surprised me not moments ago in my studies I'm always trying to learn and I heard a thinker say the greatest technology invented is the alphabet indeed and this was their argument and the alphabet has been used to condemn people to death the alphabet is in be used to commit Horrors I mean Hitler sent messages with the alphabet that caused the deaths of millions but the alphabet has been used to save lives all over the earth marketing is neither good nor bad marketing is a martial skill that you can use to do if your motivations are so in Natalie's case she's learning marketing she's she's changing this man's conclusions about her and hoping to change his decision and thus his behavior so what happens on the decision side I want you to notice go back to the copy if you would so notice this I made a suggestion to the man wait a second did you know something she didn't make a demand she didn't say let me go notice how she's fostering a conclusion let's say it was an accident that's her exact words let's see it was an accident now what she's attempting to do is something I've taught in the past and since uh I'm going to break it down for you I will also show you what I've been teaching you so far in the slides I'll just stop at these two I'm going to go to the board and I'm going to draw something that explains what's going to happen next because it is not one decision she must earn he does not decide I will let her live he actually makes a series of micro decisions so I've often taught that the funnel should never be presented the way we'd normally do because people don't fall in they fall out because gravity isn't working for you it's working against you and the only way to represent what the marketer really has to do is this most people are exiting our funnel we have got to not drive them up but attract them up the funnel with the power of our value proposition which is at the center of our message I've also suggested to you that people do not go up the funnel in one jump but they go up in tiny micro yeses a headline has two micro yeses we're going to look at your pages in a moment we will ground this I'm almost done with this story and I'm going to look at your pages and and take what we've been learning and cash it in in the everyday ordinary work of our life but first of all I'd like to point out that Natalie says the first thing he got him to do was to cut the tape this is what had her tied to the chair then he allowed her to get dressed wait a second are you seeing what's going on here she has now influenced his conclusion set and I would point out that that the trust-building conversation has repositioned the relationship between him and her in this person's mind and in doing so she now starts to win a series of micro races she doesn't demand to be let go she doesn't do what most of us do in our copy she makes a suggestion and then step by step micro yes by micro yes she starts to get to her desired behavior what does he do next get this he puts her in his car and drives her all the way to the front door of her house now stop for a moment I gotta tell you something very important because this is right at the point where many marketers dropped the ball so to speak we think that because we got in the cart or we got in the car it's over but I can guarantee you that she continued to build trust in that automobile all the way to the front door cuz she was not free yet she is still in a stranger's car who's already overpowered her once but ultimately those micro yeses led to the final words of this story to its climax as I hold up waiting homes our 14 week old son between her and that child was an industry driveable chasm that had to be crossed it was in that final step where he let her leave the confinement of the car and step into the safety of her home that she actualize the entire culmination of this process that it resulted in the winning behavior does this make sense somebody said he could have called an uber the truth is who knows in those situations she probably was working so hard to keep his attention and to keep him from suddenly getting violent I doubt she had many options other than those that she took but I wasn't there all I know is at a practical level at least Nathalie is alive because she did something almost the opposite of what most of us do in our daily work she didn't she didn't scream loudly about her value she didn't make lots of declarations she didn't make pretentious claims she didn't she didn't try to moralize and and and tell him what he should and shouldn't be doing she established an authentic conversation I'm sure the conversation itself was authentic you know her goals her goal was to escape a madman but the way she did it was employing a relationship building set of activities in a way that always produces let's say stochastically produces a better result so let's walk through those steps for a second and then we're gonna look at pages Natalie I don't know where you are today in the world but we all congratulate you we're grateful that you're safe we're grateful that you've been reunited with your family and we admire how you managed this situation you're a model to all of us but I want to talk now about those steps I saw a web page at the beginning of this broadcast in that web page I saw an observation set these were the signals that you put on that page in the form of the alphabet those letters on that page arranged themselves in a certain way along with some images the job of which is to bring you a new customer but they really should be following a pattern that is identical to the one outlined in my slide let's go to the slide and and stay there for a little bit first you've got to connect and that connection has two key pieces but it establishes the beginning of rapport without rapport the person's guard is up and you can't get through their defenses from that new observation set that produces that connection you're going to have an opportunity to dialogue and in that dialog you can influence conclusions if you influence it so that the right conclusions are arrived at then the behavior becomes inevitable the conclusions power the decision and the decision powers the behavior observation conclusion decision behavior there's more to this I've taught about the role of expectations elsewhere I won't get into it now I've taught about a cycle called the trust trial elsewhere I won't get into it now instead I want you to think about these points and we're going to shift to a webpage but let me just ask you before I move to that webpage and begin to tackle it through this lens is this making sense to you are you following how we've used this story to establish some fundamental principles that transcend the actual situation that Natalie was in but connect to all sorts of places in our life where people are making decisions around us good those yeses are important I really when I ask you these questions it's sincere I'm trying to calibrate alright so now I'm gonna I'm gonna take you right over to the first web page that we looked at you submitted this web page by the way look influent met claps comm send us some more send us a page if we can get to it today sometimes we don't get to it on this one we do it on another one I think the page I'm looking at right now I don't even know if it was submitted for today but it was submitted by someone and we're going to use it so take me - there you go scroll up good yeah make sure I can see them making a little small just a little bit smaller on that giant screen so I can see it over here on their screen it's just right let's start with the top our so what you're looking at is not a webpage you've heard me teach this but think of it now as a signal set in light of this story think of it as a signal set it's a series of signals designed to stimulate something in the mind it's just zeros and ones in a binary system that turns on pixels and so the pixels have been arranged in such a way as to put an image in front of me a giant video and I don't know if it's a mistake that it's yellow with no shape behind it but if it doesn't really have a picture behind that play button it might be where it's paused otherwise basically you're betting on the fact that you're gonna create rapport and connection with me with this video that's the first mistake I would say this page has video is powerful and can be used to establish all sorts of powerful connections but if you begin with it you're dependent on me playing it and listening to a certain point before anything happens and I might not even be in an environment where I can play that video right now or look at it out loud and in fact I may want to scan in high-speed enough text to determine whether or not I did invest the time to click on a video wait for it to load and listen to it when you put that video in front right or wrong maybe you're right most of my tests I'll tell you it's wrong but maybe in this case it's right but when you lead with that video big large in my face dominant I may never see the text below in fact on some monitors all you'll see is the video and maybe two lines of text more importantly here's what you're saying this is your hypothesis and I want to say this to every person who may be new to my teaching here you're all your pages have a hypothesis you may just not know what it is but it's a mistake not to know it and not to be intentional about it your page has an implied hypothesis if it doesn't have an overt carefully intended hypothesis and the hypothesis here is that if I stick this video at the beginning of the relationship I'm going to get more people into the text below and endure into a genuine you know customer relationship with me that's a big giant risk and it's probably wrong now but let's take the video out of the equation and let's look at the first words we encounter it says are you looking grow I think the word 2 is missing and I've made mistakes like that my whole life so we won't draw down on that but just as a courtesy you may want to get the missing word in that headline are you looking to grow your business using proven online marketing strategies I I just I want you to think for a second and ask yourself a question when you came to this web page with suppose you're a prospective customer empathy is the marketers most important skill so all of you right now if you if we want to help you to grow in your website I need you to get empathetic instead of being a third party listening to me speak can you please suddenly become a customer let's go full screen for a while cliff why we just work on this thank you but I want them to look at this as a prospective customer now you have to imagine what's in my mind when I came to this page obviously I have a problem to solve or I wouldn't be investing the time now the first thing I would say is when you ask me to invest energy here what am I trying to do well if you go back to our diagram don't go there right now remember we need to establish rapport so how many words are in that top line cut somebody count them tell me how many words are there are you looking count them and give us the number okay now are you looking grow your business using proven online marketing strategies I'm trying to get a number 11 now let me ask you the audience another question do those 11 words give me any meaning do they help in any way answer the question that I came with and there should be 12 says David you're right the reality is no all they do is state the question now is there any value maybe it's the question that's on my mind but candidly you only have eleven that's a huge ask you've asked you're buying my attention with those words that's all you can you understand in the beginning all you're trying to do is sell attention you're not even selling a customer yet you've got to get enough attention to get a connection and when you start with a question are you looking to grow your business using proven online marketing strategies if I read all of that you've worn out I account many people that's all you get from me and that's not enough you didn't communicate meeting and so I can go to option B and that's the back button from that great casino in the sky we call Google go to the text underneath it honey web are your local online that should be is I know it sounds like it's a plural because you have experts but the subject and the predicate don't agree properly but stay with it uh scroll back up the honey web I can't see it we scroll down too far honey web art there's it are your local online marketing strategy experts based right here in beautiful I think it's a delayed um now once again what do you have here somebody persona as a you've got to be a customer and if you're a marketer and you submitted this page there's no way I want to be harsh on you when I sound harsh it's because I'm unbecoming a prospective customer and they're quite jaded as we all are when we're shopping and being inundated with messages that are most the time not even true I want you to notice now that I've invested three lines and what have I learned about you well I know you're local and I know that that city is in your mind beautiful but how is that helping solve my problem and how is that drawing any drew connection with me the fact that you're local might have some value but if that's all that's been established with all of the energy you're asking me to invest you're not getting close to what we had to do in the story with Natalie connections not being established I mean I'm gonna use I'm a little scared about what I'm going to next but I'm gonna do it I really I'm scared of what I'm gonna do next I'm gonna go back to Natalie's story I'm gonna go fullscreen on the text again I'm gonna ask yourself what if Natalie had began with go fullscreen are you looking for a new friend or some I could go further and further with that point what if she to asked a question like that do you think that would have established connection what if she said that she was a an expert in something or made a claim about her person would that have established connection no the story might have ended very differently Natalie started by very carefully and very quickly drawing attention to this person and to their needs and to their work in fact the word admired is a key word in that sentence and then look at the third text we're not just a specialist so now we're bragging that really statement says I'm not what that means is I am a specialist and that's not all I'm even more now marketer all that may be true and again I'm on your side but the prospective customer is waiting through drivel the technical word I'll call it today is dribble DRI ve L and what I mean is that's that 80% that I said is all over the Internet and it's hurting us it's not going to provide conversion because it is not establishing the pattern in successful relationships and behavioral influence that we saw in this story we opened with instead and by the way I didn't cherry-pick this this was the first one that came up first one that I saw I didn't go on the internet look for a bad example this is all over the Internet and the reason we see so much of it is control copying each other instead of thinking for ourselves marketers are you seeing the problems that I'm talking about we're going to go to another page I am again if you make some changes and you're the marketer who submitted this page reach out to us and we may give you some more commentary we want to help you not hurt you but honestly so far this page is so far off the mark you have to start completely over if you want to get the kind of result that we're talking about today it makes the point of this thesis that we began with and that is that most of our words are being wasted and that's the problem with so much of our copy let's go to another site is it helpful for you to look at the sites are you liking to do this I know some of my audiences look like this but I moved into a very sort of a practical space now so let's let's let's look at this site I might optimize this just to stay there you're in the right location I love that area and if you're on line right now congratulations so it's a it's a beautiful area I'm sure it's a beautiful resort but I want to stay right on the home page full screen okay all right now there is a picture and those pictures might be the right thing to do in a situation where you want people to be attracted to the location but the problem with the pictures are they don't matter until I have connection they should be there in their own way but the most important thing you need to do with me is put the observation set in front of me that's going to help me establish connection and then in the trust-building conversation you're going to have to communicate your value proposition so that I believe it achieve four conclusions make a decision followed up by my behavior when I see this the the attractors of the image changing beneath white text on those images and it's small white serif text makes it very difficult to read or understand your go-to place in the Colorado mountains isn't one of the ones I'm looking at it changes I wish I could pause it there what does that mean how does that in any way start to establish connection with me why does that phrase matter in fact you could go back to to the opening line on the last web page that question or you could take this let's just take this for a moment you could put those words on any other location and say that and it could be a plausible claim your go-to place you could put that on 10 more resorts in the same area or you could just change the name of the area and use it all over the world is it establishing any meaning is it doing something that's going to start to change the nature of my relationship with you the answer is no underneath it is a button that doesn't really make a lot of sense our rooms now it does make a lot of sense to the person to design the site because they're looking at this through the eyes of a company they're employing company centric logic but customer centric logic is the key so let me ask you a question what has happens when I click that button do you tell me about availability do you show me what your rooms cost do you show me just more pictures of your rooms cuz I'm looking at pictures behind this what happens when I click on that button and should I click on that button do I know enough information that I care yet what we haven't done here is thought about where they are in the in the buyers journey in the sequence of thought with the necessary micro yeses that we talked about here in order to making the decision I'm gonna use a crass but apt example you couldn't get Natalie to the front door of her house before she got untied from the chair there is a process there is a sequence and she had to move logically through the sequence in order to finally step into safety and what you've done here is you've ignored that sequence you've just picked the terminus point and then you've put on the button a sort of meaning deprived phrase our rooms first of all it starts with the word our they don't care about you they care about themselves our may simply mean to you I'm talking about my hotels rooms but it to the other person you're already beginning with the wrong end of the relationship I hope this is helping you once again I'm not trying to hurt you but you need to redesign this so that all that space is doing a better job of establishing the initial relationship that will lead to the right conclusions and thus decisions and thus behavior all right now let's go beneath it for just a moment and we might slip to another one depending on our time all right welcome to Georgetown Mountain Inn now you're getting somewhere but how many of you right now are fighting it hard to read that font on the white it's very hard in here for me my first problem is that's a lot of text it's very thin it has too many lines it has no bold font in it it's too much work to get to the meaning you cannot make it hard for me to understand what I need to know in order to establish a relationship where I'm barely vested and frankly I am so barely vested at this point in the relationship I barely it's like meeting someone in a bar after work and they've said two words to you it's not time to go into your thesis there is a lot aggression and now I have this huge paragraph full of proper words and end and difficult to read and without an eye path now you do something right underneath it you give me three bullet points beautiful mountain views good excellent homestyle hospitality good affordable rates and a wide variety of rooms good but every one of those things are claims the only evidence might be in the photographs there's no evidence about price and there's absolutely no value proposition do you hear me no value proposition because guess what in that town or at least in that area I don't know about the town there are other places that have beautiful mountain views with a cozy relaxing Alpine atmosphere and excellent homestyle hospitality and affordable rates so why should I choose you instead of them where is the answer to that because I am now way too far vested into this conversation without getting the main reason you need to communicate for me to keep investing my energy in the relationship you follow the logic I'm gonna stop there I hope it's helping you what I want you to see is that there's a direct comparison between Natalie's story and between what we're talking about now this is the way all relationships and choice the way relationships that that are established particularly those that engage high levels of choice now any relationship involves choice but we're trying to get someone to make a major change and so it requires us to move through this process that we've been describing from the story of Natalie let's go to another page we're almost at a time I hope this is helping you this is the Emily Shane foundation presents butterfly magic all right someone submitted this an entertaining and happy event for all save the date okay I want to help you and I know you're not for profit and I I I don't know if I can help you at all with this page because I don't know who knows what butterfly magic is because right now what you have done I'm gonna summarize the page and it's sort of like this I meet a stranger I asked you to get on a plane with me and fly somewhere I don't tell you where I don't tell you why I don't hear what's gonna happen when we get there but I expect you to get on the plane because I provide you with all the details here's the ticket here's all the things the details don't matter until I've made the decision that you matter and then that your offer matters now I'll bet you the immolation foundation is doing something wonderful the world but I can't tell from this page and I can't tell why butterfly magic shouldn't matter to me and saying it's entertaining in a happy event for all almost hurts you because it sounds so trite the reality is there's no meaning there's just details I see this with events all the time you know why some groups get away with it because the brand is big a university can do this they do this all the time with their classes horrible communication but you've got the big brand behind it and maybe a famous professor Brandon covers a multitude of sins but in a case like this if this is a local event and everybody knows who you are and everybody no knows what butterfly magic is and no one needs to understand more maybe this page would work but in any situation that's normal for a marketer all we've done here is major on minors and mine-run majors and that's a sure-fire recipe for conversion disaster alright I am out of time I hope you found that a helpful I wanted to give you something like this today because I felt last week you know we got into that complexity regarding how we spend our budgets and I thought let's get really really down to the essential components that power those spins and that's the reason we chose this topic if you like today please say like and please please help us grow the audience talk to somebody about it and just know that I'm grateful absolutely grateful there's relationships that you know over the years like David's becoming a good friend and I've exchanged information with Yakov and I'm looking at Dave Fogle he's on here all the time in Arlene it's great to have you and and Stephen Parnell and I saw some nice words from you Stephen I really appreciate that and so let's keep connecting and let's keep building our relationship and let's do something meaningful with our marketing thank you you