The end of the MLB season is insane & Shortest punt return touchdown of all time | Weekly Dumb

My name is Jimmy, his name is Jake, and this is the Weekly Dumb. Jake, it's getting exciting in the sports world. James, Snack, everyone tuning in. Yeah, the season fully changed. Today was full-blown autumn, but it's baseball season. It's the season of the stick and the ball and the gloves and everyone plays it. And the bases and the dirt. You wearing pants? I am wearing pants. First time of the year that I'm wearing jeans to work since the last time I wore jeans. Anyway, the end of the baseball season is insane. There's a lot up for grabs. Dodgers and Padres up for grabs. Padres could sweep the Dodgers. Grab the division. They won't. The Braves and the Mets are playing a series. That could determine the second wild card. That's going to have a foul ball chalk deciding. Or the third wild card, whatever it is. I mean, the AL wild card race is insane. All the White Sox babies. Tigers coming. Meanwhile, the White Sox, worst team in the history of the world, still available to them if they want it. They tied. I think they're going to beat it. You think so? I don't have them going 6-0 this week. You care about the Brewers winning the division? I care about Bob Uecker peeing his pants. Pee his pants. He says it once. Not enough people heard because they were cheering for him, so then he says it again. And then I think our guy Pat Murph misheard him and thought he said, I might have crapped my pants. Because Murphy responds, I might have crapped my pants. And Uecker was like, I didn't say that. Well, Pat Murphy might have crapped his pants. Oh, is he one-upping the man? I think he got a pisser and he got a pooper. What would you do in a celebration? What were you more likely to do? Would you more likely pee your pants or shart? Probably. Did you just answer the question with action, not words, Zach? Action speaks louder than words. That's a Teddy Roosevelt quote. What's this almost a breakdown you were telling me about? It's awesome. Do you want to see the shortest punt ever returned for a touchdown? Answer, yes. This high school kicker. I think they were down one touchdown at a time. Sorry, punter. Probably the kicker too. It's high school. Not this kid. He's backed up in his own end zone and he doesn't want to punt to get blocked because then it's a touchdown. So he's just like rushing it. He's got a little more time. And instead of shooting it low and out, straight up. He beefed it. Straight up. It lands at the four yard line. Bounces back to the one where the defender just is like, all right. It looks like a planned plant. Joke. What made me mad here is that they're clearly scared of the block punt because they're back so far up. But they're scared of just a snap and a punter going out of bounds. The punter's really tight. It's just like a normal shot. Like the punter should be towards the back of the end zone. And you got to run a little bit and just sideways kick it. He beefed it. And you know I don't like saying that word. You do. You beef a lot of things. Let's go back to the more sports and do a different sport. Football. And it's brought to you by… DraftKings. Not giraffe kings. We've gone through that before. Jim, we're going to ask the audience to chime in. We got a chime guy with us. Illinois versus Nebraska Friday night. You've got the Mahomes Impersonator playing quarterback. Have you seen this yet? We've got a touchdown pass. It's in the arms. It's into the end zone. But on the ground, the defensive back catches it. And it's like, okay. And then we have a kick from Texas A&M. And it's a classic good or no good situation. Because depending where the cameras are, Zach, you can form different opinions. Yeah. So, you guys at home, you've got to let us know what you think. Now, on the first one, I think it's just a great replay. I think they ultimately got it right. Great replay. They called touchdown. They went and watched it. Said, no, it's interception. I do think that before the guy fully comes down and fully possesses it, that defender gets his hand and just snatches it out. Mine. But it's a very cool replay. Let's watch it again. Breaks the plane. That's a great call. Cool. Yeah, the next one is the best. Did this ball go over the uprights? Did it stay in? Did it even go over the uprights? What? Does the fucking refs underneath, can they see over and under from this? This is good. This is perfect crime. Yeah. Because I have no idea. Angles. More parts of me thinks it missed than hit. But I really, in my shoulder shrug, I'm interested to see what the crowd thinks. So let us know what you think, because I don't know. I put in a tweet with a comment section in here, because you give people something like that. In a genuine way, they were like, we seriously don't have cameras on top of the field goal posts yet. Yeah. They should do that. What are we going to do? I don't know if that camera would still be able to tell. Like, on this kick, I don't think the camera helps. It just needs so many cameras. Not sports. I saw this. I thought of you. It has a lot of things that you like. A lot of my buzzwords. You like islands. Love islands. You like penguins. Love penguins. You like smelly things. Kind of smelly. You like underdog victories. Yeah. So that's what happened here with the hoi ho, or yellow-eyed penguin. It won New Zealand's fiercely fought Avion election on Monday. Easy with the fiercely. The bird it went up against would eat it. People are actually excited because this bird, this penguin, like going. Right. And they say, this might actually help. So it's like a gag thing. Like last year, John Oliver made it a gag thing. He wanted to save the puteketeke. Puteketeke. Which is a deeply weird bird. What does that do? Why is it a deeply weird bird? It eats and vomits its own feathers. The hoi ho, its name means noise shouter. 300,000 fewer people showed up to the polls for this one than last year's puteketeke. Because John Oliver made a mockery of it. Yeah, but I mean, we had two former prime ministers get involved. They quoted, they said they got support from a guy that was on, I think, The Amazing Race. That was their number two. That was the prime minister? I don't know. I like me. Penguin got a little bit of yellow in it. The other bird it was going up against was this little, little, little bird like this. That bird's so out. New Zealand, they said they're proud bird people. Yeah. That's good. Ireland. If you're a bird person looking for a place. Kiwis. It's the Employee of the Week. Boom. It's the Employee of Sheep. Bang. Birds. The Employee of the Week goes to a guy with a secret. I had a neighbor with the same name when I was a kid, but I had a bad speech impediment and I pronounced this name Boromy. You also grew up in deep Russia. Boromy. It goes to Jeremy. Boromy. Maybe his family. And his family. Because they all sing. You know what? They went to see Lawrence together. Yeah. It goes to Lawrence. No. It goes to Boromy. It goes to Jeremy. Two families. Two families though. We also met Zach's family. Zach's mom did say something like, it's great to meet you. Take it easy on my boy. What was she referencing? I couldn't imagine. Explosion. That was the Weekly Dumb. This episode of the Weekly Dumb was brought to you by DraftKings. There's a chill in the air. Leaves are falling to the ground. And football every weekend. Because that is what fall is about. So download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now. New customers use promo code DUMB. Bet just $5 on any wager and get 200 in bonus bets instantly. That's promo code DUMB. Only at DraftKings Sportsbook. You instantly get 200 in bonus bets when you use code DUMB. You need some puke noises from that. Zach is my... Get yours. Baby puke. Sucked it up.