Stock Market Trading Created a Financial Disaster

[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today today's question comes from Ryan in Colorado oh boy Jade take a deep breath on this I need you to slow your pulse down as I read this I have a $350,000 HELOC loan on our house which is worth 700,000 the first mortgage balance is $400,000 I also have 40,000 in credit card debt and two vehicles that we owe nearly yeah 100,000 on are you are you up to date on this right now how's your blood pressure you doing it's okay I also have a $30,000 loan against my 401k I earn $175,000 a year my wife is a stay-at-home mom these debts are primarily the result of my attempts at Stock Market trading where I chased losses creating this financial disaster this cycle of greed and poor decisions has not only affected my family but also my mental health I'm overwhelmed with guilt and feel like I have failed as a husband and a father I'm in desperate need of advice on how to manage and overcome this financial crisis large Aster here for Jade as she takes this on this is an email you can't go back and forth with this guy but go ahead take it away I mean no wonder he's feeling overwhelmed and no wonder he's feeling like he failed and no wonder his you know mental health is feeling affected this is a big big big big big mess he doesn't tell us um over what period of time this happened all of this and I I'd be interested to know because the truth can when I look at this I see a person with a gambling problem Oh there's no question he a gambling problem and it was just in the form of stocks uhh trading I'm going to take a guess that it was a short amount of time cuz this feels desperate to to rack up the 350 HELOC uhhuh uh-huh uh-huh and then the loan against the 401K it feels like he was like I got to earn this back fast TR yeah the credit cards I guarantee the credit cards are all for this the helck is all for this the 401K loan um and now the cars that's kind of a separate lifestyle issue um let's talk about the the the mental side of this first like I said I think this is a guy with a gambling problem I if I'm you I'm getting into Gamblers Anonymous I'm getting into some support groups I'm getting on with better help and I'm going to go into counseling a for me and then I'm going to do a separate set of counseling with my my spouse right because this is taking a toll on your entire family um and what a woman to to stand by you at this point um although she doesn't need to be standing by she needs to be working yeah I mean we he's got a good income but you know this is back to the baby steps we're back to the baby steps so that was the the mental side let's talk about the money side which is Ken is exactly right both of you guys need to be working and at this point you know I'm assuming probably there's a stay-at-home mom situation here and this is is all handson deck there's certain times where that's just required and I'm sure the wife is like heck no I didn't do this you know and there's probably part of her that's like I don't I had no part in this I don't want to help clean clean this up I don't want to sacrifice and that could be her choice to make but you know if they want to come out right side up on this they're going to have to start working I'm clearing out these cars $100,000 worth of cars you guys are driving beaters like less than $10,000 dollar cars to get out of this um you know I was just doing some math that I want America to catch up on if you're new to the show and a lot of you are Jade and her husband Sam paid off half a million dollars I just did the quick numbers yeah if we take out the actual uh First Mortgage yeah we're still at 520,000 he's racked up here it's a l so you've actually done this I've done this you know what was your combined income do you mind telling us Sam yeah when we started it was 30,000 when we started right the next year it jump it went up steadily with us working like crazy yeah so it was like 30,000 year one 50,000 year 2 you know 80,000 year three and we were moving moving up um what was the highest cuz I'm what I'm doing is I'm comparing it to where he is on a single income of 175 this is very doable is the point and I'm looking at a person who knows that it's doable this is very doable um there might be a situation where they've got to get out of this house right um and probably so what I would do for more reasons than one not just a financial reason but you guys need a fresh start like you need a new start at life here and so for that reason I mean you got $50,000 of equity here that's your wiggle room for you to pay the Realtors and get clear of this and get into uh get in an apartment and I'd live in a box to get rid of that helck of 350 I think it was and Ken Coleman cuz a lot of people you know right now I don't know when they bought this house I don't know what the interest rate is and there's a lot of uh talk about well you know I rarely would tell somebody to sell their house in this market especially if they had a two 2 and a half% interest rate or 3% but in this case this is something that you burn down and begin again like in my mind there's nothing to hang on to here every time he walks in that house he's going to feel the the weight of his mistakes you know what I mean I agree and so there's a piece of that that is like just start fresh you've had way too many conversations in the kitchen you've had way too many arguments with your wife in that bathroom like you need to start fresh so I think that um that's probably what I would do to get some of this out of the way and then once they clear the cars out now they're looking at $70,000 of debt he's making 175,000 income absolutely get right side create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life