I Think He’s Being Tricked By a Younger Woman

[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today today's question of the day comes from Molly in West Virginia she says I believe my father-in-law has been tricked into a marriage by a younger woman his wife passed away a year ago and the new wife took advantage of his loneliness my husband doesn't seem to see what I see how can I let go and not be bothered by the fact that she's using him I don't want to be fake and pretend everything's great when I see a lot of issues okay let me understand this John my father-in-law has been tricked into a marriage by a younger woman who's taking advantage of him and the actual son is not seeing this he's like no this seems totally fine yeah so there's a lot of issues here number one is the husband and wife are on the same page on top of this father-in-law maybe getting scammed I don't know there's too much we don't know well and there's also is this like a just his name just slipped my mind but like an Ana Nicole Smith situation where he's 90 and she's 25 or is it he is 70 and she's 55 right so I don't know what younger woman means here um so she needs to address this with her husband I don't know that she needs to be involved as much does the son need to talk to Dad no I I mean if Dad is if h i I think what needs to happen here is Molly needs to call this new woman and take her to lunch and get to know her because right now Molly's is creating stories in her mind and then her body's responding to those stories she's acting upon those stories she's getting enraged by those stories and she doesn't even know if those are true and so I am going to sit down and have lunch and I'm going to make it a regular practice you're in my family I'm going to get to know you now and then not when there's stories but when I have data when I've got confirmation of oh this person's Kind of Wonderful or uh this person's gnarly right then we can begin to make um alternative uh like decisions on what we're going to do and by the way um I have had SI times over the last you know quarter century when I've been with my wife when she has said we need to go right now and I'm like no we don't we're fine every time I've ignored her she's right I've been wrong every time so it sometimes husband doesn't seem to see like oh way to go Dad right like mom was sick for a long time she passed away I want Dad to be happy he met this beautiful young woman and he may just be totally BL yeah the operative word here has been tricked into a marriage I don't know how you trick someone cuz they have to sign something and say I agree to this marriage like I feel like I tricked my wife into the marriage but that's for different reasons correct but this one feels like I think her exact words were George tricked me right I think she gave in I was relentless for snck even so yeah this there's too much we don't know Molly I hope you call the show because I want to learn more about this situation I don't feel like I have enough information here to pass on this the the one thing I will tell you is spend as little time time possible making up stories about why other people are doing what they're doing what they're thinking and by the way we all do this listeners you know that politician he's just you know that company they're just trying to you don't know and so all you're choosing to do is to make up a story that makes you feel a little more powerful a little more safe and then you're going to war over that story and it may or may not be true so invite somebody to lunch talk to them you know all them Democrats or you know all them Republicans they just no you don't know them let's go to lunch let's go figure it out let's go talk let's go talk and that's what I Molly that's that's my with with the little amount of information we have here I would suggest you call this this new wife and because now she's your what would you call her a stepmother-in-law oh I didn't think about that this is turning into a country song real fast this is a very West Virginia call right 100% so I I would reach out Molly and um at the end of the day she doesn't she can't control father-in-law in his decisions whether whatever it is financially relationally so there's a part that she just has to also let go and go well I did my part I'm going to sleep well at night knowing I tried to warn him yeah so how can I let go I want to lean into the relationship and if it's if it's confirmed then I can walk away I can set up boundaries and me and my husband will talk about that and then hopefully and I say this with all due respect Molly hopefully you're wrong hopefully this woman isn't a trickster she's not a jerk um yeah she's way younger and yeah it might look weird at the grocery store but she's actually pretty great and she's going to have her and your father-in-law are going to have a great um end of Life season a great fourth quarter together that' be awesome create your free every dooll budget today the simplest way 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