Harsh Truths About The Internet Gender Wars

what are some harsh truths about dating in 2024 that people got to understand and maybe a more important question is what can people do about it yeah everybody's talking about this from uh formal news platforms all the way to self-produced stuff like whatever podcast Andrew we are referring to the gender Wars incel versus fem cell I didn't even know about the fem cell term Vell too Andrew Chads versus baddies versus Stacy's hypergamy versus Old Village dating that your parents went through wow so that's kind of the landscape here we have three main truths that people need to understand and then we're going to give you the comment section and our own conclusions and possible solutions because I think that's one thing that is missing from a lot of these conversations a lot of people can point out what's happening or observe what's happening and say oh this is what I think is happening this is what I seen happening but not that many people have Solutions or at least ideas right right so anyway let's just get into the harsh truths Andrew this reminds me of people saying you know both sides Democrats and Republicans have it wrong for example uh Democrats don't have a brain Republicans don't have a heart this is going to break it down in a similar fashion that doesn't make it all lopsided Point number one this guy says hypergamy is real but only because men have a higher sex drive and thus lower standards for short-term relationships quality long-term relationships are similarly hard for both genders okay so David uh what's the definition of hypergamy uh in 2024 because I think that for every term there's like an older term from whenever that word was invented like let's just say the 1960s for example I don't know if that was when hypergamy was coined but it probably is a little different nowadays well let's be honest like you said there's the 1960s Webster dictionary definition and then there's the urban dictionary version right so in the dictionary is defined as the action of marrying or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational background so I think back when this term was coin probably the educational background meant that you were of a higher socioeconomic class you know this is back when maybe not as many people went to college uh so it's like if you did have education you probably did better this is kind of like saying that I guess back then like women want to marry usually a man who is smarter than them and more welltoo right right right and you could argue that that was uh when there was midstage capitalism where uh wealth and sort of like like regular just a good everyday lifestyle was actually kind of hard to get right but nowadays Andrew a lot of people theorize that in late late stage capitalism hypergamy pretty much refers to hypergamy of looks or status combined with looks ah so it could be money status and looks all combined in a different I'm sure different people have a different uh ratio of all those things right right basically the cast system of modern day Society more goes towards looks than like having your life together and having a bunch of real estate properties that's what this guy is saying and you're saying that that is a fairly true that is fairly true for America in 2024 in the dating Market especially on an app like Tinder or something like that right I will say this though he says hypergamy is real but then he kind of flips it on the guys and says but that's only because men statistically scientifically have a higher sex drive and thus lower standards for short-term relationships so he's saying the reason why according to this chart guys are more willing to take like I guess like lesser women on the pyramid than women are willing to take lesser men is because they just got to get it in well because men generally probably want even like more Partners so they're going to lower their standard in a way to meet that number because guys just want it that bad it's like a lot of guys will hook up or get with a girl who they actually know in their minds is maybe below their league but they'll do it anyways because they just want to something short-term fun right um so overall I mean what do you think do you do you agree disagree with this point cuz this this is guy this guy's assertion so he's kind of like giving one to the guys because the guys are always like hypergamy hypergamy right but then he's like but then that's the reason why yeah I mean that I I think guys do need to take a little bit more responsibility in that aspect that if all men and especially the ones that are desirable only just want more and more women to date then that is only going to mess up the game for everybody else because it wasn't supposed to be like that no it was supposed to go like across the ladder right with money and social media you can like one guy can invite like two or three girls out and date three four girls at once so but that's on that guy choosing to do that like women typically I feel like they're not even if they have money they're not flying out five different guys yeah that's a good point I don't know I think that yeah it's interesting that just the thing that gives somebody like cast value shifted from uh economic educational to looks but but I also think that it's not just hypergamy of looks because I think different women have different uh considerations of what marrying up is and I think for some women who don't need any sort of financial help from a man they're just maybe going to look for the most Charming best looking handsome guy that makes them feel like they're in a dream world or but if you are a woman who more needs like Financial Security then you're going to more value a man's like ability to make money saying that people have like their different puzzle pieces so they're looking for the puzzle piece that completes the areas they might feel like they're they need somebody to those lacking in or whatever exactly I think hypergamy and marrying up still is like a different reason U mixture pie for everybody right right right that's a good point maybe he's talking about the the the bulk distribution anyway who know I'm not saying I fully agree with this guy I just thought it was an interesting post Point number two he goes on to say looks are the most important aspect of Attraction but generally proportionately men care about them more than women do if you're an ugly man being a sweet nice guy will not matter very much which is where the confusion comes from but things like Charisma and Status absolutely do matter and then he goes on to say but if you are an ugly woman I think you are screwed damn but you will still be able to get short-term hookups because back to point number one you know whatever whatever uh all right so here's do I fully agree because I think that you always heard that oh there's always a woman that can a woman can always get a man but there's not always a woman for every man but a woman can always get a man to at least have a short-term fling with for sure or I mean I just think that there's I don't know I I think that even like a really unappealing woman is still in a way better off than an unappealing man I don't know I this one's tough I guess this one's tough to say I will say this I agree with his initial statement that in 2024 looks is the number one thing on the priority list for both the man and the woman but that pie slice that's dominant might even is probably even bigger for guys yeah I mean I think looks is kind of like it is important because it's the first thing you see it's the surface thing it's when you're swiping through an app that's what the first thing you look at before their profile you know some people don't even read the profile right yeah maybe some apps they should have the photos at the bottom and you got to like click through the prompts before you see no you swipe right on the promps first yeah like you have to swipe right on one of their prompts and then you see their face and that that would be interesting but I don't know how many people would use that app but I guess that like um yeah yeah I mean I mean but it's it's because it's uh I know what he's saying at the end I actually disagree with his second statement I think there's a lot more Nuance to it but he's saying that a guy that's ugly can make up for it with money personality and Charisma but a girl can't make up for it with money personality and chis but I don't even know if that's I think it's different but I don't know if that's true I'm going to go ahead and say for Point number two I don't fully agree I agree more with Point number one but I don't really agree with Point number two right and by the way I do think I think every woman's stack is different but I think that this is a good generalized stack of that two women looks is determined by Race Face height frame body personality status clothing and then money like that's what I women race is number one I think so cuz I think that a lot of girls will filter out entire races completely off the Oh you mean a girl judging guys yeah girl judging guys that's their stack and you have to hit everything along down the stack okay oh you guys let us know what you think about David's ranking I don't know by the way guys obviously dude of course everybody in life is different by the way yeah what I was going to say sorry uh is that looks is really more for your feeling in dopamine you know it looks technically obviously is a visual thing and we visual cre creatures but like really it's like when someone's just really hot you're just like you're just get infatuated and you just have all these dreams and you're just like being you think of movies and shows and stuff and move video game characters you like you just fit it into your fantasy and I think maybe women do that more than men but men obviously do that a lot too yeah I mean look at uh the guys who want a Lura Croft or something I don't know who knows uh Point number three this is his point technology economic inequality and atomization are effing over the dating market for both genders a lot of blue pill advice parents give them uh basically bad advice because it was true from when they were growing up basically the parents were growing up in a time where like the pyramids would match up and there was a hypergamy but for different reasons and it was just the the whole fishbowls that they were pooling from were way smaller and then you get your dating advice from your parents and that's just really bad advice for people in modern day so their dating advice is outdated is what you're saying yes basically and that's causing a lot of resentment because then people go through situations where stuff didn't work they get Jaded by those experiences and then they might pendulum swing the opposite way no you mean it's like a guy saying like yeah growing up my mom said just work hard in school and you'll have your pick of the litter any girl's going to be happy to have you son you just keep working hard you get a job you be a good man and women are going to fall at your feet well that's what a lot of parents do tell their kids right or at least from the from the older generation yeah but I guess that's what I'm saying is like a lot of people if they apply that and then they feel burned by that advice they could swing in the opposite direction yeah yeah I mean listen the old days of how our parents or grandparents dated like in the village of like hey like this woman is I mean that's like how some countries are like you know like parents pair them up like you know some South Asian families they're still trying to do some form of like a arranged marriage like Netflix shows about it yeah it's still happening in some culture cultes you know but uh yeah when left up to the free market then it just feeds in the people's uh most base level desires and what they need at the time and I really think um dating is messed up for both men men and women by the way men and women are both struggling with this in America in 2024 you hear men and women both complain guys now we could argue about who has it worse so men suffering more than women it is bad for both sides it's tough and difficult but the only way I really see it changing as like people focusing on creating a family cuz that forces you to happily compromise and to build a partnership it's like building a business when if you don't ever want to be a business owner if you never want to be in charge of an LLC and pay taxes and get a proper accountant and then build out rent an office space if you never want to be a business owner then you're never going to like care about what happens in the like on certain streets in the city because you're like I don't live there no no typically business owners are super invested in local politics because their local politics affect their business exactly exactly so you're not as invested but when you are H trying to have a family then you're invested in a whole bunch of different aspects of life and therefore you're going to more compromise and look at other aspects of this person to see if they're going to be a good partner but if you only want short-term and fun then yes people will look for the most base level thing which is looks and fun and feelings of course there were some funny jokes and there some said oh God who cares just become a drug addict or become a gym guy just like everybody else dang hey that is funny that he identified two trending identities and archetypes in 2024 though damn drug addict or Jim bro hilarious all right so we went through the three main harsh truths that this guy listed out uh we didn't fully agree with all of them or at least I didn't in my opinion but I think that there is some truth to all of it and that is how a lot of people see the dating market right now right right right and I think that that's maybe why guys are going overseas maybe girls are um getting more work done than ever to raise their smv to play into you mean visual enhancements you mean Beauty enhancements are those two things not at an all-time high right like the passport broism and the whatever the plastic surgery alterations yeah the surger um I will say this right now it feels like and I know a lot of people are going to be sick of this it feels a little bit like Democrats and Republicans where everybody's going for the 10 and 0 win I get 10 points you get zero points but Andrew if people had a growth mindset would they accept you getting six points let's say we're in a rivalry I get six points so technically there's more there's a growth mindset because now there's 12 points of distribution but neither party is happy at a six and six and how much would the piie need to grow would would people I think people are unwilling to compromise on the 10 and0 structure even if it's six and six but what if it was seven and seven and there was 14 points on the board what does that look like for example just give us an example like people kind of like yeah they just get a com because seven is obviously in the middle seven is usually considered like you mean seven out of 10 happiness seven out of 10 because I'm saying right now guys if they go overseas they're going to get 10 and0 right or they're going to get their 10 and then like women if they hyper playay into you know play the current system of hypergamy on the dating apps or whatever maybe if they hold out long enough they'll get like a nine or a 10 out of 10 match for what their dream was but then that leaves on a macro scale the other gender feeling like they got screwed you mean everybody's basically trying to take advantage of the leverage that they have as much as possible yes it seems like like a woman who gets really beautiful gets the glow up gets the enhancements gets the makeup gets the clothes acts like Lori Harvey starts playing out Michael B Jordan puts herself out on social media then she's going to the the feeling is that she's going to try to take advantage of that as much as possible she's going to get flown out get to get a bunch of messages going to try to date a bunch of like well guys whatever that's the feeling right and then same with a guy who's tall good-looking has a little bit of money he's going to expose his Advantage as much as much as possible each person that has Leverage is trying to to squeeze juice at the most it's almost like the Las Vegas iation of everywhere that's not Las Vegas cuz Las Vegas bottle girls have been dating Tech billionaires on the side forever right David you mean take everything and give them nothing right all right so here's the thing here's my final takeaway listen guys there's a lot of culture wars going on right now whether that's white versus black woman versus Man old Prejudice Guard versus new Anarchist leadership and I'm not the one person who's going to say that these culture War debates that you know whatever podcast is engaging in or there's a trillion of these podcasts nowadays I'm not going to say that they're mindless but here's the thing Andrew you're arguing but nobody really controls their side people may control the emotional apparatus or the narrative or the storyline or their side but they cannot control any individual other than themselves but they're making a lot of money controlling The Narrative of their side right right right but that's why it's crazy because you're a leader of The Narrative of your side I'm the leader of my side we're both making money arguing about it but nothing's happening on an individual scale because like you're only control of your own life you're saying that there's no money in the solutions actually there's just money in the debate and the argument yeah and and playing like you're the leader of a side because Andre T yeah he might be able to influence people but he literally do not does not control or would he want to control anybody yeah yeah so that's what I'm saying where I'm saying that yeah so I guess that's where we're at so is there a solution do you have a solution I think just even a madeup even a solution that's just throw one out there we're just brain being like India and just getting going back to the why don't we go back to the arranged marriages why do we ever let it go away yeah I'm saying if you statistically look at the divorce rates it's super low and people are super happy because that's what they know well I and they feel like they're being what they were meant to be okay I don't know if every Indian parent is happy but they are gladly still in that thing or at least they're still in that they're still committed at the end Day saying if we were to control the equation for that being the goal I'm not saying that's not my goal but I'm just saying to solve this algorithm but but I think the root of the issue and I'm going to say this again is that people don't want to get married and have kids and have a family because when you have a family you need structure and you need to work with another person and need support and there's all these other things that you think about when you get older that when you're young and just having but people are getting married and having kids later in life or not at all so remember like back in people had got married at like 24 they had kids when they were like 28 and that was how it often was like in the 80s and 70s that was pretty much like how it went but now as you would delay that need and sometimes some people are deleting that need let alone delaying it then there's no need for that structure in your life therefore you can just fly around and date whoever as much as you want spend the money and live on your own because you're not you don't care about having a family the only thing that's really going to make men and women more bring them back down to earth and make them compromise and work together more is really raising families and kids I think so only people in late late late stage capitalism are dopamine and enjoyment driven somehow the raising of kids would have to be more enjoyable than the alternative right so the my question is how do you make raising a family look more appealing or can you that's a good yeah that but but it's the same thing that Japan's going through on a different level like Japan is going through this negative birth rate people not marrying thing but kind of for different reasons but like essentially also a late late stage capitalism economy though America's going through it too though so but it for slightly different reasons but essentially the root of the issue is the same thing people don't want to have families together so hey guys let us know what you guys think in the comment section below I'm sure the comment section is going to be lit until next time we The Hop boys we out peace