Desert Motorcycle Adventure - full length

Motorcycle Adventure Dirt Bike TV is proudly supported by Adventure Spec in England, Rally Raid Products, Giant Loop in the United States and Adventure Moto in Australia. The city is alive with adventurous souls, trapped in the rhythm of this life to make ends meet, mindlessly traveling the same path. They are down in the streets thinking their life is unique but their path has been chosen for them. They know they need more than a roof, food and love and it's not found on a ferris wheel or fun park. To be rewarded with a Simpson Desert Adventure like this, you've got to earn it. And it's not going to be given to you on a plate. Just to get to the staging area at Birdsville, southwest Queensland is an adventure in itself and over 1700 kilometers from where we live in Sydney. In this adventure, eight riders supported by a four-wheel drive truck go to a remote area of the Simpson, the Hay River. Six of the riders meet up at Cobar, 700 kilometers from Sydney and the other two will meet us at Birdsville if their bikes make it. This bloke is mad, he's riding a road bike into the desert. Where is he? There he is. Morning everybody. It's good to see you. It's a very civilized dish, the shower and a cup of tea. It's quite unusual compared to the rally scene. So it doesn't look very Australian the weather but we'll give it a go. A bit of alternative anti-GS movement going on today. The anti-GS movement? Yeah, yeah that's small is better. Go light, go fast, go far. Not the rider obviously, the bike. Yeah we had an ETA for depart this morning at 0630 but the other team nuggets group looks surprisingly comatose this morning. I can see heavy clouds the direction we're going and the wind blowing from that direction. We're going to get wet, really wet. Hey Alex, where's your riding gear? You've got to get dressed mate, we're about to go. I've left it upstairs. I am going to put it on. That's good. 690 looks beautiful? Yeah. All ready for another adventure? Yes, she should look beautiful because I've spent enough money on her to make her look beautiful. A lot of plastic surgery really. Nuggets become semi-professional now, do you Rad? No, no, later, later, later. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to come out on a nice cold morning in just my boots and the jacket and the shirt. So, warning. God help us. Ted, you ready? You going to drive? You're in the mood for driving? A game? I don't mind doing all this driving. Helps you. Looking after the boys. Helps your young blokes out. There's not much of a conversation. Looks like I might be getting to eat my words here, Dave. This thing's looking pretty set up actually. It's certainly transformed from the last time I've seen it. It's got spoke wheels, Nugget. Yeah, it's got a bash plate. Come a long way. Good morning, day one, here we go, 500 plus k's. Weather's looking pretty bad but hopefully we'll stay in front of it. Into the red dust we go. Hey John, see that? Dirt for the next 4000 k's, mate. That's what I came for and that's what the CB's built for, so we'll give her a good test. And she's in some good dirt bike company, so it'll be interesting the next week or two. See how she performs. This is what we were dreading. A wet desert. The Aboriginals have been telling us for months that it was going to be wet. This red soil is so slippery. We're on the road to Bourke. We've been rained out, as you can see. The roads are bloody slippery. Dave's just gone sideways. And it's slow going. Well, we were worried the rain might come in today and it's here now. And I've never ridden on stuff like this. I've ridden in Morocco and Tunisia but they're on deep sand tracks that drain. These just don't drain, they just turn into custard. And we're just going to let the tyre pressures down, try and get a bit more stability. And hope we can just trickle on for the next few k's and it'll dry up again. Look at this. Look at that. I tell you what, in conditions like this, it's good to have the four-wheel drive truck along, I've got to tell you. Oh, look at it sliding. Oh, have a look at the bikes. Oh my god, they're covered in shit. Where's this pommy geese are going? He's not even on the bloody road. So how are you liking that? That's the greasiest shit that is. Yeah, I've decided to go on the edges because it might be a bit steeper, but it's easier to trials ride it in third and fourth and try and slippery and slidey in the middle there. Let's see if I can get back up on here. It's a little bit easier going up here. So for these bikes being looked after on the back of the trailer, I think you better go and have a look, mate. He's not even riding it. I have to go over and have a look. Yeah, Philippe's going to come out with some good French words for that. Is he? Let's go and have a look. Oh my god. I think they'd have been better just riding the bike. Look at Sean's bike. I think they could have just, instead of using the trailer, just dragged them down with a rope and they'd have been cleaner. Oh, you're kidding. Well, the bad news is, fellas, the roads are closed the way we want to go. So it looks like we're now having to go to Bourke and head up into Queensland, which is a bit of a bummer, but we'd get stuck if we keep on going. The roads are shut. So how's the road to Bourke? Bad. I've never seen it worse. We've got 40 k's to go. There's four-wheel drives bogged down below us. Nugget and the truck, he just had to drive past this four-wheel drive to get past him, otherwise he would have got stuck. The guys, the mud is so bad now that you can see them. They're going up the sides of the track, but ultimately they've got to come back down at times and have a go at this. Nugget, you're not looking after your bike, mate. No, here they come. What an adventure. 40 k's of this to go. Really treacherous in the four-wheel drive truck, isn't it? You've just got to keep going. You can't stop. No, mate, you can't stop. You've just got to keep on going. Someone falls over, we can't stop. We've had it. Yeah. 40 k's out of Bourke. Let's see how we go. Well, I did the old big get-off here. I only slid around, lost it backwards. That's what everyone's doing. And here comes a truck. I hope he can miss my bike. Keep going. Yeah, yeah. The conditions, bro. Oh, yeah, it's more closed. It's closed, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've taken out the family membership. The mud club. Crap. Well, we had a bit of a plan B, but I've come up with a plan C. Try and get us off the blacktop instead of heading up through Toonpine up to Quilpy. We're going to go all the way along through Thargominda, all the way out. And we're going to chuck a right up here through Durnham Downs Cattle Station, one of the Sydney Kidman stations. Across the station, across to Cordillo Downs, the largest shearing shed in Australia. Southern Hemisphere, actually. All the way up through Cordillo Downs, near Patoota, over to Birdsville. So, as long as- And what about here? Do you reckon that's going to be wet? No, well, I spoke to the lady out of Durnham Downs, and they've only had a light sprinkle this morning. So, touch wood, they get nothing overnight. And we're, um, we're sweet as sugar. So, we'll wait and see. Sounds interesting. Yeah, we've had an interesting day, that's for sure. Slight change of plans. We now find ourselves in Cunnamulla, in far southwestern Queensland, trying to make the desert. We've got a mist, and we've got kangaroos everywhere. Really dangerous riding conditions. I just want to walk in and show you the Oxford Motel's sleeping quarters. We've got one very sad pommy in here. Ah, Mr Mitchinson, you like our salubrious accommodation? I'm very disappointed. I'm sulking now. This is not the Australia desert trip I was promised. This is more like Wales in March. Fully clothed, in bed, waiting for the sun to come out. I'm not going to get out of bed until the sun comes out. I love a sunburnt country. A land of sweeping plains. And mud puddles, and mud pools. Mud pools. Geez, it was tough yesterday. Slipping and sliding. This a bit better? This is, this is more comfortable. But, uh, probably a bit more fun than this. Is this big enough land for you, John? Yeah, I stopped back there just to take a photo, because I thought by the time the sun came out, if it didn't come out today, I was going to sulk, and book into a room, hotel that had got a decent jacuzzi, and just sit in it and pretend I'm in Australia. Nah, you'll be fine. Now two problems have emerged, and John's going to help me with both of them. My bike has just started playing up. It's going up to about 4,000 revs and holding it. It doesn't drop back down, and then it goes into limp mode. Then the other problem I've got, I've got an earplug stuck in my ear. So I don't know which one he's going to do first. We did think of blowing it out the other side. There. Trust me. God, the doctors fix one problem. The 690 may not be so easy. So John's found the problem. See, the throttle body's popped off from the inlet manifold, and so we're hoping that's the problem. We're just putting a certain bike that's broken down on the certain Facebook pages. Non-technology, we're letting the world know that Dave KDM does it. Like a scene from an Alfred Hitchcock film. This is turning into a B-movie, this trip, you know. There'll be a murder soon, I can tell. So we're on the Bullo Development Road, and we're heading to Kihi Station, and then we're going to chuck a left and head out towards Durham Downs Station, and probably camp the night out in the bush, our first camp night. So it's going to be good. Back onto the dirt as well, even better. Cold as a night without you Just your absence ringing in my ears And hard as the heart that feels no fear Because without the bad the good disappears And long is the road that leads me home And longer still when I walk alone Bitter is the thought of all that time Spent searching for something I'll never find Take this burden away from me And bury it before it buries me Get a head, get a Honda. I'm just standing here, Dave, watching them work on the KDMs again. How many times is this so far the trip? That's why we flew John in. Yeah. It's okay, once a day. Okay. I keep my hand in. All right, so every day we work on a KDM. Okay. Every day in every way. And the DR keeps blotting on, plotting on. Oh no, I must admit, I did do some work on it. I checked the tyre pressures. Wayne, what's happened? Mate, I've got a flat. Oh no. Between here and our turn off. I don't know what's happened. Many other days I've wanted to cease Lay myself down and find some relief Heavy is the hair that gets no sleep We carry our lives around in our memory We're on the border of South Australia and Queensland. I've got my passport ready then. Yeah, we're in the middle of bloody nowhere. Normally this is just desert. The season's been excellent. So the track's covered. So I've just got to navigate either by map, GPS and just good sense. Well, you've tried the GPS and I'm going to resort. Roy Rogers and Trigger, Tonto would get there. It is that way. Tonto would know. Hang on, I'll just do that as well. Yeah, that's definite. What's happening in my trailer, Wayne? Is it going to make it? Mate, I think it'll make it the next 17 K's. It'll be interesting when you advertise it for sale. What are you doing in my trailer? Yeah, I'm a bit worried about the trailer, but it's holding up so far. Yeah, for a skinny little run, it's going all right. Doing a bit of navigating now across the desert. We better not stuff up. Just trying to get this truck across. Here we are. We're trying to get through down to the Claudillo's down track. Our truck has literally run out for us and we're making our own way. So apparently we've got about 10 K's to hopefully find a station track and get back on track. And it looks like we've found the truck again. So, awesome. We're in Claudillo Downs, North South Australia. It's the largest wool shed in Australia. The cameleers of this country are a bit of forgotten. The unsung heroes. They carted all this roofing in and the bend in the corrugations made it easier to carry on their camels. That's why it's bent. And when riveted together, you don't need a roof structure to hold it up. It's self-holding. So, guys like this opened up this country to Australia. So, yeah, forgotten heroes, really. Hey, Nugget, what have you done to my trailer? What's going on? The trailer is now known as Toby because it's like a little dog just keeps on following us through thick and thin. But, yeah, like we've had a few accidents. We've got, this has come. But it's holding up. We can't believe it. I had this. Where's my number plate holder? It's gone. The number plate's gone. It's gone. All the wiring's gone. This is, oh, look, there's a crack in my, look at this. That's a crack. We can fix it. There's another crack. Fix it. Toby, Toby's on fire. And look at my box. Yeah, the box. It's a parallelogram. It's not a rectangle. The box has been on. I'm not sure about the wiring, though. We've lost the wiring. No. We've lost the handle. Oh, shit, the handle. We've lost the handle. What's going on here? We're having a bit of the French fuel, like they say. Stolen fuel is like a stolen kiss. It's always better from somebody else. Finally, we reach Birdsville, our staging point for the desert. And now the real adventure begins. Toby the trailer will be left at Birdsville, repaired and picked up when we return from the desert. We're stuffed. But we've had fuel problems in terms of running out of fuel today a couple of times. Stuffed up with some navigation. I've had a pearl of a day. I broke the bead in Wayne's tyre. Pinched the tube. Then he's got another flat. We've had to steal Sean's bike. The three bikes are now not covered in mud. So that's good. They've all come off. But today it's been pretty good. OK, all right. OK. Apart from John. John's the only one who hasn't hit the deck. OK, and rest assured that the easiest is done. So I'm waiting here for you. What's going on here, John? We're doing a bit of Entente Cordiale. I wouldn't say it's French, but it's Belgian. So that's a little bit better. We're just giving him a bit of good old English electricity. Yeah, and I'm enjoying it. You know, the English know how to make electricity. Yeah, we invented electricity. We gave it to the world. And now we're sharing it about, you see. Well, let's have a look at this filter. And it hasn't even ridden a kilometre. It's been on the back of the truck or the trailer the whole way. It's covered in mud and dust. And I don't know, your carpet's clean. Oh, gentle getting that out. Gentle, gentle, gentle. Oh, you've still got some shit in there. Yeah, I've got some stuff in there, but it's very minor compared to what we could have. That is epic. Oh, well, air filter cleaning time, nugget. Finally, after 1700 Ks and four days, we had arrived at the start of our desert adventure. This group of riders had varying skills. And for some, the thought of riding 650 Ks in the desert sand was more than a little daunting. For John, the developer of the Honda CB500X Adventure, there was nervous anticipation. As this was an opportunity to take his creation to its design limits. But before he could barely enter the desert, Nugget felt appropriate to baptise him in sand. For Nugget, John, Philippe and I, it was time to play on the largest dune in the desert, the 40 metre high Big Red. It was satisfying seeing months of planning coming together. We now had the full team, eight bikes, Ted giving four-wheel drive truck support, and our father and son drone team, Roger and Jono. We were heading into the Simpson Desert for a south-north crossing, and we could feel and taste adventure in this magical place. Another day, another KTM. Another KTM. It's a KTM day. What's the problem with this one, John? Philippe's been having a bit of intermittent starting problems. He thought it was the battery, but I've had the voltmeter on it, the battery looks good. So it's a bad connection, dust or... It can be the treatment that the bike has endured on the trailer when there was about three centimetres of mud all over the... You know how many days I know we've been out? Yeah. How many KTMs are worked on? Well, it's not very accurate because this KTM has not even been ridden yet. This is the first half of the day. So this is a half day repeat. His little face lit up, didn't it, John? Yeah. Yee-haw! Yee-haw! Get going. That sea breeze is going amazingly, isn't it? I was thinking even the ABS in the sand was working well. We set first camp in the heart of the Simpson Desert. A special time to get around a campfire for some bench racing and get to know each other before letting the desolate beauty of this magical place soak into our bones. For these next few precious days, isolation was to be our friend. I always knew that this day of the adventure was going to be tough. We needed to be on the Hay River track before dusk and to achieve that, we had to continue west over hundreds of dunes until we hit the salt pan where the Hay River track commenced and led us north into the most isolated part of the desert. We left camp that day as a team, all focused on the goal but knowing that some of us would find this day far more challenging than others. But success of the team relied on everyone getting through. Today would take some to the point where they couldn't muster one more ounce of strength whilst for others it would be a walk in the park. Alex found it difficult to let the bike move beneath him in the sand and for the next few days would play an exhausting battle that would be a testament to his fitness and determination. John's little CB was breaking all the rules. It really shouldn't have been in the desert. But it was going well. By the end of the day, I would be reminded once again of why I so cherish this sport of adventure riding. It's about opening your hearts to help others succeed at the expense of your own goals. It's about humility, uniquely blended with a fierce determination to push through despite the odds. And it's about admiring and appreciating this vast world and the people in it and all achieved with a decent helping of self-deprecating humour. Mal was on the pace and letting his KTM 640 have its head. But for Nugget and Sean, Mal's pace felt desert race and it was on. Nugget and Sean would play race for the remainder of the day while the rest of the team tagged along at their own pace. Have a listen to these wankers on the radio. You just talk, talk, talk. I've got tube envy, Nugget. How many tubes do you want? You know, see this is the trouble. Hey, look at this, Sean. Dave, can I borrow that tyre lever? Yeah, that's the special tyre lever, the one that never... Yeah, thanks. Outrageous! Got you well and truly, didn't he? That was it. I actually need that. Oh, now he goes for it. The crossing of the dune system was relentless and it wasn't until the late afternoon that we had our first glimpse of the elusive salt pan. Finally, we were at our first milestone. On the other side of that salt pan, we would turn sharply to the north on the Hay River track. It had been a demanding day and it was time for a rest and a regroup and take in these extraordinary surroundings. Mal and I would head north to find a suitable campsite before dusk and everyone would sleep well that night. For me, this had been a special day. Some of the less experienced riders proved they could step up and give it their all and they had won my respect. I couldn't think of a better way to finish off the day than blasting along a salt pan in the setting sun, reflecting on the day's ride and wondering what tomorrow would bring. This was adventurous heaven. As we headed north between the dunes, our speed lifted as the tracks opened up and gave way to Clay Base. Time for some play racing and Mal and Sean were at it again. Sean was in hot pursuit but these were ideal conditions for the big KTM 640. There was no way in the world Mal was going to let Sean get away on that little 250. Meanwhile, I was closing in on Alex who lifted his speed considerably and was enjoying a break from that red sand. I had Alex in my sights and blasted past him but unbeknown to me, Nugget had been stalking me at a distance and when the time was right, he let me have it on the back wheel. But he overcooked the corner and he looked mighty untidy. John was glad to be out of the sand and pushed his CB500 to soak up those easy miles. Even the drone team was hooking into it. Nugget, you've called my nephew a bloody mad sand Arab. Yeah, could be the case. He's chasing us the whole way, we're pushing, pushing out to keep away from him. I've just been nice not running over you. We had now completed about 350 of the total 600 kilometers in this desert adventure. The kilometers had been flying by and lifting the speed was a welcome relief from the slog of that red sand. But with all adventure you've got to take the good whilst you've got it as you never know what's around the corner. Tire pressure's right, Philippe. Absolutely fantastic. This is the country for our bikes. Yeah, yeah, the suspension is perfect, everything is just falling right into place, I love it. Spirits were high during the camp that night. Lots of jokes and lots of stories. And this is the other side of adventure that we all love. I'm so warm in my Avadi heated top, I don't even need a fire. Avadi. How do you spell it, Nugget? Hang on. How do you spell it? I've made my bed on the back of Nugget's. I look over, he's got his jerry can sitting on my bed, his camel back out and he's trying to do this. I said, Dave, be careful, my sleeping bag's dead. Do you want a hand? No, no, I'm right, I know what I'm doing, I'll be careful. I'm an experienced visitor explorer. He's doing this and then five minutes later, shit, shit, I'm really sorry, Sean, I'm really sorry. Rush over there, he goes, you know the mouthpiece of your camel back? It was in the middle of his sleeping bag. He inside my sleeping bag. Open. As I was running over there thinking it was going to be like a little bit damp, there was a litre of oil flushing around in my sleeping bag. These are the tea twins. They always have a cup of tea in the morning. At least one cup of tea. Can't move without a cup of tea. And last night it was a special outback tea. That was tea, five sugars and two ibuprofen. That's like a Singapore gin sling but Birdsville style. When you've been on the bike for a few days. And that indicates the trip, doesn't it? Yeah. Big day today, 180km to get to Baton Hill. We didn't know it at that stage how big the day was going to be. A recent four-wheel drive competition had turned a relatively fast twin trail into foot-deep bulldust that would test even the best riders. Sean's awkward tumble merely highlighted how effortlessly graceful Mal could ride these challenging conditions. Mal was in his element on the mighty KTM 640 and the great thing about the red dust is that it gave hints as to how Mal was using throttle control and counter-intuitive steering to guide the bike through these deep ruts of powder soft dust. But our lesser skilled riders were doing it real tough. Welcome to Madigan Camp, fine? Yeah, finally. That was the hardest sand I've ever ridden in to be honest. Yeah, the turns, the turns, the turns. You'd get up a little bit of momentum, you'd hit the soft sand, the nose would dig in, you'd come around, it'd wash out. You'd grab it, you'd accelerate, it'd throw you into the bush. You'd grab it, you'd drag it back onto the track and sometimes you wondered if the track was the better option. What is this for then, the start of the Hay River or the Madigan Camp? No, this is the Madigan Camp. To commemorate it? Yeah. So you put your name down? Yeah, name and Honda CB500X. I don't reckon there's many pommies on a Honda CB500X who've been through here before. No, they're all probably locked up. Yeah. Some of those bulldust holes were pretty deep. They're pretty grim. How much bulldust have we done now? I don't know, we've been stuck in it for probably 25km I think. Yeah. Pretty soft sand but we'll get out of it. To have the cream you've got to first get the milk so we'll just keep pushing on. We arrived in Batten Hill in the late afternoon with just enough light to take on this ancient wonder. But our eyes were now firmly on the prize. Getting back to Birdsville for a hot shower and some pub food. So John, you've made it. The milestone's been reached. The Hay River track's been done. What do you reckon? Yeah, it's been four good days. There's been a bit of everything. The first dunes were a bit tricky to start with and then the tracks were tricky and then the creek was tricky. It's all been tricky but it's good fun. Come across here, chuck a right at Pobbles and we've headed all the way up and we're about here above the Simpson Desert. We're hoping to cut back through here and pop out near Buduri. John, plenty highway. Look at that. Thriving metropolis. Yeah, I'm hoping there's got dancing girls and full wi-fi there but I doubt it. I think there's plenty highways because there's plenty of dirt, plenty of dust. That's it. But I think there's not much plenty of anything else. Plenty of pigs, plenty of kangaroos. Yeah, yeah. We'll be dodging them for the next couple of days now. We're back on the main road. Mal looks like he's servicing an injured cow or something. The orange DRZ has let me down slightly. Just the little cyclist pushed itself in and just started leaking a bit of oil. So John and I have taken the cover off, pushed it back home and we're just going to put it back together with a bit of Loctite and hopefully that's it, fixed. But I'm still waiting to meet the girl from Innerminka when we get there. She's going to be there for you. She must have been famous to write a song about the girl from Innerminka. Whilst our Simpson Desert crossing was now complete, there was still a heap of adventure left in this ride. The old Strzelecki track became the home of flat tyres for Wayne, copying his seventh for the trip. And John discovered that some farms are so huge that people fly to the pub for a drink. And at state borders, we have fences to keep wild dogs in and wild dogs out. But it is this huge expanse of brown land that keeps us coming back for more. And when we came across a dried mud flat, it was time to celebrate with a dance. We still had a ways to go to get home, but our goal of riding through the Simpson Desert had been achieved. And John had a world first under his belt, riding a Honda CB500 through that challenging environment. We were now locked on getting home to Sydney, some 2,000 kilometres away. And in the morning sun, things were going swimmingly. Well, that's what we thought. Ah, Oink's quite amused with the Yamaha going down. It just shot past at record speed and it didn't last long, that's for sure. He's put a 15.2 sprocket on and I think the speed's really affected the reliability of it. Yeah, poor Oink. I pressed the wrong button. I thought it was a turbo, but it was the ejector seat and out went Oink. At 110km's on the dirt, lucky Ted picked him up, jumped out, gave him mouth to mouth, brought him back to life and yeah, he didn't like riding in the support vehicle, so he's back on the bike. Lying down disorder. What's the multimeter say? No, it's flat lining. It's flat lining. There's no O. No sign of life there. Actually, it says minus one. Minus one, yeah. Let's try him again. No, there's no O. No, minus one, that's even worse. That's worse. That means you're less than dead. Yeah, less than dead. It's officially given me permission to choke the chicken this morning and this is a much more suitable time to be getting up in the middle of the night. I have to praise you like I should. We're on our way together through the hard times and the good, yeah. I have to celebrate you, baby. I have to praise you like I should. I have to praise. I have to praise you. I have to praise you like I should, yeah, like I should. Na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na. I have to praise you. We've come a long, long way together through the hard times and the good. I have to celebrate you, baby. I have to praise you like I should. Na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na. I have to praise you. I have to praise you like I should. I have to praise you. You do, I do I'm crazy Like a machine I got you You do, I do I'm crazy I'm mother brain