Tackling Stress to be Our Best : Department of the Navy Office of Force Resiliency

good afternoon my name is Dr Nicholas pitzi and I am the suicide prevention pillar lead here within the department of the Navy office of force resiliency or donr here in the Pentagon we are very pleased as part of our Mental Health Awareness Month webinar series to welcome chaplain and Commander Peter Deets chaplain Deets is the director of kredo from the neor District of Washington um and he has served with the Navy uh Marine Corps and Coast Guard both on land and at Sea and chaplain Deets also had a combat tour in Iraq so welcome chaplain Deets thank you we are thrilled to hear your perspective as part of the dawn's Mental Health Awareness Month uh Endeavors we really want to talk about how folks can manage their own mental health increase their own resilience by doing what you might think is almost too easy but it's managing stress before it manages you so our webinar series is titled tackling stress so we can be our best and that's really true in any Walk of Life and stress affects us all differently we all have different threshold different coping mechanisms but we are thrilled to have you here at chaplain Deets to tell you about to tell us about your perspective uh your experience managing stress and then also advice you might have for younger or more Junior uh Sailors and Marines out there um because it all starts with managing stress and that's what we know in the mental health world and I think uh it's we're just trying to get the word out that it's wise to manage your stress before it becomes overwhelming so we'll start today with like a real basic one which is getting good sleep we all know that if you're getting good sleep your brain restored if you're doing PT it helps your body rejuvenate but boy that is a tough thing to do just in general life if you've got stress going on family issues just regular family stuff or especially if you're on deployment or you're out at Sea it's not as easy to get regular sleep as you might like but boy when you do you're much more you're much better postured to address other stressors that come your way so how do you when you're under stress or just in daily life manage your sleep what are some techniques you use how do you prioritize sleep when you're already so busy um well that's in terms of prioritizing you just put it in your schedule um as much as you possibly can and plan around it uh ideally the best thing is getting in routine like if I know that I'm going to go to bed at this time every day it kind of makes things go easier but sometimes that doesn't happen um and we get pushed out of whack it's interesting that when we're stressed we can't sleep and when we can't sleep it adds to the stress yes and we get into this cycle so one of the things that um I've found has been very helpful is to try and get whatever is on my mind out of my mind okay if that makes sense um and for me sometimes it's noise so listening to to music or putting on a talk radio thing and setting a a timer so it just turns off automatically you know hopefully after I fall asleep um that actually has been really helpful for me um because for some reason my mind starts paying attention to the music or the words and not whatever was in my mind causing me not to sleep and you know you mentioned exercise and PT is a part of the requirements you know in in one's you know Navy Marine Corps uh career but you know often times when you're stressed at work and you're working extra or you're working a full day and you're not getting home until much later than your typical hours or maybe you're doing an off cycle type of work uh you get home and if you've got a family you got to attend to them and you're busy and maybe you have to log back online at night I guess what I'm saying is often times when we're stressed if especially if it's work going on the very first thing to go is exercise and that's precisely the thing we need need to do the most when we're stressed because we know the science is clear the exercise the endorphins are released for a lot of us we feel better there's a runner's high which is no joke but you know it's often the last thing we have time for like how do you manage that have you been in that situation we're all in a glass house here what's your thought on exercise and Stress Management uh yes so um I will admit that I get out of the routine sometimes and it's it can be very frustrating because it's uh sometimes it can be hard to get back into the routine um but I think one of the greatest pieces of advice that was given to me is do something every day no matter how short it is 5 minutes 10 minutes as long as you just maintain the habit of doing something anything um for example with running my father-in-law and my sister-in-law my brother-in-law and um and my wife like they all said hey let's get together let's do the rock and roll half marathon you know this past March and so the it became like a family thing uh we all got together and we were saying what did you do today you know to like train and so when you can do stuff with other people I guess you know we talk about accountability buddies which is really helpful uh my last Duty station um they they had a hit class in the morning so I would I you know I joined that uh and that was really fun because you know here I am this really old guy uh and I'm doing hit with 18-year-old Marines and I didn't have to do what they were well the same level of weights or um I could do the same thing but at my level of ability um but still do it with them kind of like golf you know when you play golf you can play golf with someone who's great um I mean you might be swinging more but you can still do it together was one of those things we could do together and I really enjoyed that so again if you could have an accountability buddy uh or a group that you are a part of uh team sports are great way of doing PT and it's fun why does PT not you know it doesn't have to be not fun right right um I was uh my very first Duty station I remember one of the um CEOs was about having fun and so group PT you know sometimes we go rock climbing they had a rock climbing wall on the base uh or we'd play Ultimate Frisbee which was one heck of a workout yeah so all kinds of things you can do so have fun with it but the most important thing do something every day even if it's just for a few minutes you know it makes me think I you know I know back when I was younger you know I was and I was on my own for the first time and and and making my own meals so to speak and creating my making my own food and I realized like boy I probably shouldn't eat out every night and I don't have the money for that and just remember I'm thinking about breakfast and I'm not too ashamed to say I started off making a Funfetti cake and have it last the week and I thought it would be like a coffee cake for the morning and it had Zero nutritional value and then I graduated to well two bananas for breakfast and then I you know and as I got older of course I realized boy I really need to take better care of my body and it's you know it's either good stuff in good stuff out or garbage in garbage out and for a long time it was garbage in garbage out we all know the value of nutrition and we got to fuel our fire and fuel our machine to be our optimal best but it can be hard I heard the expression the sometimes the Breakfast of Champions is a monster and a cigarette well that won't last you know that that that won't sustain you especially you want to have a great career and do well at work how do you approach even now but when you get busy and you're stressed that's again that's the time you need the most nutritious the best fuel for your body what can you suggest to Sailors and Marines out there and what have you experienced from from your own life I am not a nutritionist so please do not take any advice from me on nutrition as being oh chaplain DEET said right right um but I think with nutrition what I have found and experienced um I know what just like you said we all know what we need to do to eat healthy y um there's plenty out there there's plenty of resources there's plenty of worksheets all kinds of stuff what I have found is I do not eat healthy unless I meal plan okay so I need on the weekend I will sit down on the weekend with my wife quite honestly she probably leads the charge on this more than I do but it's still a team effort yeah um what do you like what do I like and we come up with a meal plan for the week and then we shop to that meal plan so that's what we have in the house we have in the house the food for our meal plan and we prep and that's what we do on the weekend we sort of prep you had your fun what was it Funfetti cake Funfetti cake right to last year through the week um so that basically that's what we did we would prep our meals for the week and boom then it's done and save so much money because of course if you didn't prep a meal what do you do you go out right and like I mean instantly you're spending 1215 I mean even our Galley is $ 12215 um so that's a lot of money over time uh so meal prepping I think is the answer so it's going to keep you on track you'll be thinking about it in advance and you'll have the food in the house that you need so I think that's that's the secret yeah that's the secret to eating healthy for me yeah well I'm sensing a theme too of there's in your answers they there is again some level of self-accountability you know to meal to meal prep to meal plan you've got to sit down and do it and maybe you've not done it before so I know that on on installations and bases there's tons of resources to help you plan that sort of thing and and and to talk to folks to make sure you you kind of know how to do it but it's uncombed upon us to ask the right questions or else you're going to be kind of Flying Blind you know same with somebody selling you to put you know having accountability to put your phone down or go out in PT and do it with others there is a certain level of inside us that we have to leverage because to your point we're adults and very you know although we're you know in the military and we're often told what to what to do and where to go and how to do it a lot of this stuff in terms of Stress Management it falls on us it falls on on our shoulders so what are your thoughts on financial readiness what can people think about as they plan their finances just kind of broadly and perhaps your own experience and advice for for younger uh Sailors and Marines uh so my father always uh pounded into me save save save save save the early you start saving the more money you'll have when you get older most older people say they wish they had started savings more um and did I listen to my father when I was young no I didn't do I wish I had started saving earlier yes uh so the lesson that I would like to pass on do the math that's what I would say do the math and you'll see that you can actually saving a very small amount of money over a long period of time hit a million dollars in retirement um but the Temptation is what we want right now right A lot of times we can't see you know when we're in our 20s uh we can't see into the the future and understand our wants and needs at that point like and everybody else has one and I deserve it I want a car I want the new iPhone I want whatever um and so that's what I want to say about money here is money reveals what we value and I think it's very important for people to think about what do you value what's important to you and create a budget and your budget will be around your values and if you value your you know thinking into the future and planning for your retirement even at 20 you're going to save for that yeah um if you value just sort of you know the immediacy you know the here and now well you're going to put your money there um I don't think that's wise but people need to really think hard what is important to them yeah and again be disciplined about okay well I'm going to make a budget now I'm going to spend like my wife likes clothes right to me I don't right I'm not as passionate about that right um but I'm passionate about other things and so you know she'll want to spend some money on that and I want to spend some money on this and when we put together our values one it reveals her values my values but then as a couple we can also see well what do what do we value as as a family yeah and when we put our budget together we're putting our budget according to our values and whether it's saving whether it's charitable giving um whether it's self-care you know all these types of things and how much we're going to put in each one of those categories Chaplan D you talked about something about when uh folks are trying to get into a new exercise routine or you know just try to increase their PT and one of the things you suggested which I think is right on the money and the literature scientific literature tells us you're absolutely right right is when you do something with others when you have a community it just makes most people feel better and helps people feel more engaged and part of something bigger than themselves healthy relationships be that you know a romantic one or just with friends or family or whatnot it's critical in to maintain one's mental health I think and help bolster somebody's resilience so that when tough times do come we're a little stronger to fight them off and to be able able to to manage it and to bend and not break so to speak M but one of the tough well I would say maybe tough's not the wrong is the wrong way to put it but one of the realities of being an active duty a sailor Marine is you're going to PCS you're going to go to new Duty stations what advice would you have for a sailor Marine getting ready to go to a new Duty station or if they're newly joined uh enlisted or officer about the value of finding a community how to do and how to do it and and what meant to you uh no I think this is the most important thing of everything that we talk about I think having uh some strong relationships that are meaningful are reliable um it's I think it's the most important thing that we we can do that would be my number one thing to do but it is sometimes especially in our uh business of being in the military and csing frequently sometimes it's hard to maintain those relationships and hard to start uh new relationships um perhaps I think it might be harder for our family members that come with us um for our spouses I'm going to work you know my spouse when we PCS well she's got to find a new job and you know a new group and uh so for lots of us it's really hard but I do think it's the most important thing that we should be very intentional about whether it's uh creating new friends at the new location um or maintaining friendships uh that you know we we've had over time okay um and I and I think a balance of those are important I think whenever we go to a new Duty station we should make new friends at that Duty station um but I also think it's important to nurture old uh relationships um from my experience the I think the closest friends that I have in the military are from my very first Duty station okay uh or from when I first came in uh in Newport Rhode Island um going through the chaplain Basics course you know I'm close friends with a lot of those folks um and it's interesting how those relationships kind of stick with us over time but we need to nurture them um and I think it's very important to have friends that will listen to us will understand us will challenge us and um we can do the same for them and it is not easy and a lot what I have seen a lot of times people get discouraged because their friends let them down ah why don't you have any friends well I don't trust them I can't trust them and that's a challenge yeah that's a challenge and to but I I think some of it takes practice some of it takes risk but I think it's an important risk to take uh in terms of developing relationships and friends and also because it's risky and hard when you do have a good relationship keep it yeah and I think you know especially with technology today it's a lot easier to maintain friendships oh my gosh so many people their friends are you know through gaming and at first uh I like what um and I was sort of like that can't be healthy but for a lot of people you know there if the relationship can be authentic MH why why not um but I think that's the key an authentic relationship where people truly try and understand you and care about you and it's mutual um and yes you will get burned by friends I promise you you will have a friend that lets you down um you may have a family that lets you down uh a spouse that lets you down it happens um but this is why you know we have things called forgivness and Grace um maybe some things aren't forgivable well that's a different conversation but um I think it's it's okay to go into it knowing that I'm going to have this friendship I know that I might get hurt I might do something that hurts the other person but I want to be committed to it I want to get past that I want to forgive and maybe often relationships go deeper and become more helpful when you've worked through those hard times so don't let the hard times discourage you in a relationship it could be the thing that makes the relationship even more helpful and beneficial to you in the long run I see I see now what if I'm a you know a junior officer Junior enlisted I'm kind of new to the Navy maybe I'm kind of this is my first time out from my parents house I'm off on my own and I'm not great at making friends I don't know what I don't know I don't know where to begin what advice would you have for somebody that you know steps across onto the installation and their their day is over uh now what because everything I agree 100% with with everything you said about about friendships and the value how on especially in the military especially in the Navy how do you how do you start where do you start yeah I don't know uh and it probably depends on where you are because every location is going to be different um I mentioned my last uh command they had hit in the morning mhm so that was just something the Bas was offering hit uh all right I'm going to go to hit and lots of people were there and it was the same people that went every day and you can start building relationships there um single sailor program you know what a great place there they do such cool stuff you know trips that they go on or movies they go see and so sign up up you know go on a ski trip or I don't know go hiking um the chaplain Corps we have something called K we do Retreats uh and some of them they do like really fun stuff uh down in Mid-Atlantic they're going hiking in the Appalachians um so uh here in DC we have resiliency Retreats which just spend a weekend and what happens is the people that go they form their own little community of those you know 12 to 20 people y um and sometimes those relationships um continue on y so just finding places where you can do things with other people and healthy things healthy things yeah um where you can uh meet people and uh do things a lot of uh locations will have sports teams yeah right Community sports teams you know get on a rugby team or a softball team and you know these types of things I think is great um finding organizations to volunteer with mhm you like animals maybe you don't like people well go volunteer at the animal shelter uh and take care and then sort of there's a group of people there that will have you know similar interests um or you know of course you know highly recommend you know people of Faith you know join a church uh or a synagogue or um you know Find Your Community of Faith because many religions they're all about forming community and there's an importance on community and so getting engaged with that is a great place to find relationships so again it depends on where you are but there are tons of opportunities where you can you know have healthy places to engage with people and you know see if you find someone that you click with and you know have a maybe a lifelong relationship with friendship and you know I just would get your opinion on the use of you know drinking alcohol I mean I like a beer as much as the next person but I do know that you know a lot of times alcohol is associated a depressant it can actually have a negative effect on our lives and maybe sometimes lead to behaviors that we come to regret how do you as a Chaplain and I guess just as a as a naval officer approach uh drinking healthy drinking uh appropriate and in moderation what's your take on that sure um and again over the course of my life I've I've exper exper lots of different things um you know in the college that I went to uh was a heavy drinking College um they didn't do drugs then but it was it was a drinking school um so and my faith allows me to you know to have a drink it's not prohibited [Music] um but you're right I I think if if alcohol is used for um mitigating stress or you think it's going to help you be more resilient I don't think there's a lot of evidence for that quite honestly um I think that you know having a drink is a fun social activity um and in my personal life that's that's when you know I've had my drinks but alcohol can get you into a lot of trouble real fast real fast and you can look at all the statistics when people get into trouble MH most often I would say you can look up the data to be for sure I would say alcohol is present okay um so that's something always to keep in mind that too much of this is is not going to be good uh using alcohol to fall asleep no it's not going to be good um what is drinking in moderation it was very interesting again my first tour oh but chaps I only have a six-pack you know every night you know know that's that's not a lot yeah that's a crapload I'm sorry that's a lot that is a lot but in the culture maybe not perhaps yeah so but in terms of science it's a lot and that's not healthy one of the things that I find very encouraging is the the sailors the younger Sailors marines that are coming in now I don't think they drink as much I don't think they're interested in alcohol as much as you know some of the older folks are um and there's you know big industry now that's just just beginning to start of non-alcoholic distilleries um so I think that's really exciting that there can be you know continue enjoying some of those beverages but without the alcohol that causes problems um within us both physiologically as well as you know socially if we're drinking too much chaplain D when I think about mental health I kind of equate it to like your cars check engine light where can somebody go for help you know where can they get the oil change versus the whole engine re redone where can they go for a checkin um I know they can go to their chaplain for sure so please tell us about that but what other resources are out there and do you agree that in the value of kind of getting on your stressors early tackling them for lack of a better word early is a lot better than ignoring them and pushing them down until maybe it's too late so uh and this goes back to to what I had mentioned earlier the most important thing that I think we can do is develop great friends okay and because I think that's just so important and great mentors um I have some amazing mentors in my life uh that I've had for a lot of most of my career and my mentors one of the things that I love about them is they are not like me MH they see the world differently than me uh they're chaplain and they have different theology than I do because why why I think the friends are important is when you talked about the check engine light going on well a lot of times we need something to tell us that our check engine light needs to be looked at and sometimes we can do it ourselves I'm not sleeping I'm not motivated okay that's a check engine light okay I know I need to do something about that but sometimes we don't see it um and you know if we're married or in a relationship some maybe our spouse uh can give feedback um but if we're not I think it's really important to have those friends or mentors who can we can go to and I did this just recently I went to another chaplain because I was having a personal issue with grief and I was concerned because I didn't feel like I was grieving properly grief is very complex everybody Grieves L and even the same person can grieve differently in different situations which was what I was experiencing and so I was concerned so I went to another chaplain who is a friend of mine and I went to the chaplain as a mentor well I guess as a Chaplain I like I'm concerned like is this a problem that I'm not grieving the way I think I should be grieving and they said no it was great so we had this conversation like you're good um so number one I think it's important to have relationships with people that you can just sort of check in am I off yeah do like they are your check engine light in sense am I am I drinking too do you think I'm drinking too much you know of course now you want to have the right friends because you're like oh no not enough let's keep going um but again and that's where mentors maybe more than a friend can like be a good check um who's not you know supervising you and evaluating but can give you honest feedback um so that's that the other thing that I think is really important is to understand that life is not always good yeah and we have our high moments and we have our low moments and the way that I have lived my life is when I'm in a uh low moment I keep remembering and I keep telling myself that I'm going to get out of this this is a period of time in my life that will pass eventually I just have to get through it one step in front one foot in front of the other one step at a time uh I will get through this um and I'll get to another high when I'm in the highs I'm always like oh my gosh there's going to be a low coming up I'm going to live in the moment yeah and enjoy this but I'm going to prep for what you were talking about prepare myself for those hard times that are going to come in the future um people I love are going to die in the future I need to prepare myself for that yeah um I may be faced with my own mortality I mean we're in a dangerous business uh being in the military I need to prepare myself for that am I ready for that um and when we're when we're in a good place and when we're not under an immense amount of stress uh these are the times we need to be thinking about that what do I need um I love being in the sea Services because it's one of the best analogies once you go to se you only have what you took with you yeah um you can't go you know pick something else up you're at se you've got what you've got um you know you've trained for this time uh once you deploy you know it's now it's now you're doing it so really be thinking about that and preparing yourself you know physically mentally spiritually for when we face those hard times I think is really important uh and the same thing like I get really frustrated when uh people say oh I'm gonna do it on my own I'm gonna fight this battle on my own it's my battle to fight well we that's not how we're taught to actually fight Wars right we fight together we fight in teams um the Marine Corps Marines are never alone they're always you know in a fire team is you know the smallest unit um and they just builds upon that you know and air supports and you know logistic is supporting like everybody comes together to support same thing in the Navy um I was just inspired the first time I was on a ship and the ship pulls in and everybody doing their job no one person can bring a ship into Port it's everybody doing their part and so nothing we do uh in this job we do on our own we all do we all work together that's what makes us more powerful so why should our personal lives be any different right why are we fighting our personal lives alone when we have so many resources that are surrounding us that give us the advantage to tackle whatever the challenges that's facing us um whether it's you know friend psychologists chaplain uh friends mentors I mean just all of the different resources that we have yeah um so my highly recommend you know take advantage of the resources around you don't fight any battles alone you don't need to and you're going to have a much better chance of success and a victory if you include the biggest Arsenal you can of resources who are going to fight alongside you uh to tackle those problems how do you engage and how do you teach others to be get comfortable having these hard conversations because we know asking somebody about suicide isn't going to make them think about committing suicide or Dying by Suicide it's not related the science is clear on that everybody's not everybody a lot of people are afraid how do we get over that what's your advice well I I think it's just practice I think it's practice actually experience it um again it was an interesting experience for me when I was asked by someone if I was thinking about suicide right so I'm the chaplain and here I was I was sitting in the food court I was having a cup of coffee I was mad at the world it was not a good day for me we've had bad days this was a bad day for me and um so I was all by myself um drinking a coffee alone and um another sailor came up sat down un invited across from me and said chaps you're sitting here by yourself you look pissed off at the world I'm concerned are you thinking about suicide wow I know right that was my reaction too I was like what how'd you take that so I had so many different emotions going through my mind at the same time part of me was like yes you paid attention like this is what we want to be doing ask the question and so I was really excited about that and then of course the other emotion simultaneously was oh my gosh he's asking me if I'm thinking about suicide I I wasn't um but it was like what am I projecting to the world and if a chaplain is sitting in a public place looking like he's thinking about death uh and his own death then he's probably not going to be a very good chaping right people hey chaps you got a minute no um and so it was really helpful for me to be more self-aware um at at the moment and um and then I was also very thankful that he cared yeah because I know that it's not an easy question to ask and he had the courage to sit down and to ask me a really hard question and that showed that he truly cared and that meant so much to me um and so I thanked him I said you know thank you very much for asking me that question and um I am not thinking about suicide but I'm really really upset right now and this is not the place for me to be upset you know he helped me realize that and um and so but I just I I really appreciated it so asking the question is it scary to ask the question absolutely is it uncomfortable to be asked the question possibly um especially if you are thinking about suicide it who knows I mean maybe it's uncomfortable well maybe it's a relief I don't know but uh like I said before we need to do uncomfortable things and scary things when we care about each other and but that's the thing that's more important is caring about each other and not thinking about you know how this is going to affect me it's like what can I do for this person yeah and um and sometimes maybe we're not the kind of people that want to hear somebody else's story um and that's okay but you can see that somebody's got a problem you can say hey it looks like you need help you know can I can I take you walk with you over to medical or walk with you to the chaplain's office or walk with you to Fleet and Family or just walk with you yeah just you know or you know just just make some time if you don't have time you can just connect him with somebody else but don't ignore the situation I think that's the big message that we want to get across I know that I'm trying to share that with as many people as possible don't uh well in the safe talk you know class we say don't miss dismiss or avoid you know there lots of reasons why we might miss it or dismiss it or avoid asking about suicide um but it's really important not to do that because you just don't know unless you ask the question are you thinking about suicide you know your behavior your actions your attitudes I mean it's you know in line fine um I know that you're suffering and um you know when people are suffering sometimes they think about suicide and it's okay I love the younger generation right now because they seem much more comfortable uh talking about mental health issues and uh including suicide and I think that's great I think the culture in our military service is changing where people realize that hey it's okay to talk when we're thinking about suicide because it happens so much that it's you're not you know the white elephant you know it's it's it's real people have those thoughts and it's okay we can work through it we can get help and move past it most of the time um and if people have an issue that's like super chronic well that needs to be addressed too uh and that's okay um so I'm really I'm really excited of what I see in the military in terms of a of a momentum starting to move uh in the direction of being more open to talk about suicide and mental health issues but there's still clearly a long way to go and the more people that can just start doing it start talking about it and practice talking about it um you'll see what it's like and I think it'll become more easy over time and we and we'll we'll feed this culture of more openness in talking about these issues and have a healthier Community MH which which is our goal what are some what's some advice you might have to folks that are listening or watching how can they create a culture of checking in on each other of community of caring of of of just saying hey how you doing because that hey how you doing may be and often is the the moment where they can learn more about somebody that they may be suffering and maybe they can help and intercede how do you how do you create that you know how does how does one go about doing that what what are your what are your thoughts um well again like um a lot of the stuff that we've talked about creating new habits new routines new things that we do um one of the things that I've been doing more intentionally uh in this particular tour that I've on um is asking people more who don't work with me but I work with so you know whether it's a different N Shop or S shop um just asking them like how does what I do impact what you do or uh tell me about how does this process work um I just went through the process of hiring a new um GS uh position and sometimes it was very frustrating on my end but I didn't know what the HR people had to do so getting curious about well what's going on in your job you know what what are the what are the things that you find challenging and are struggling and so having a better understanding of other people's challenges besides our own and maybe through doing that we can find ways of working collaboratively better because I know if I do this it's going to be more it's going to cause problems for them but I didn't realize that you know I thought if I did this it was being helpful but that wasn't helpful um checking in on people I mean you talked about you know one rank up one rank down I think it's really important to check up also on the people that just PCS yeah right our friends that are now in the new Duty station because boy that's a crack isn't it you know they've gone to the new place then they don't know anybody how cool like so their friend from their last command said hey how's it going in your new place um and just sort of checking in with those folks and you know sometimes I'm not as good as at that as I want to be but you know and that's the other thing okay so we didn't do what we wanted to do but we can try again yeah right and try you know keep keep trying to do better um and you know we all can't be perfect we all make mistakes um but the more we keep trying to be in touch and you know and say hey Nick what's going on you know now I'm in my new place and you know how did that video go that we did um and uh you know what's your next new project I just think it's really good just to check in and I think people appreciate that would you call that just a good leadership tenant in general checking in on people sure I mean yeah I mean that could be a leadership thing I mean I'm just thinking that it's just a human thing this is what people do yeah uh with each other they look out for each other they check in with each other and um and the more that we do that and the more people who do that the stronger team that we'll have got it chaplain Deeds this has been fascinating and illuminative and very helpful I was wondering if you had any final words or final thoughts as we conclude today's uh discussion on tackling stress and getting ahead of stress before it gets to you we've talked a lot about Community talked a lot about some specific things we can do in terms of diet and exercise and getting connected but any any final thoughts for the for the folks that are watching so and again I'm not you know when we talk about nutrition we talk about um you know exercise and things I'm not a professional on this I'm speaking from my personal experiences what's worked for me what hasn't worked for me and one of the things that has rung true for me in my life is sort of the everything in moderation um and it's not really everything but doing th having balance yeah bottom line is there balance do you have a work life balance do you have a you know I have a a plaque you know work like a captain play Like a Pirate um but just balance I think it's important for us to have balance in our life and in all aspects of our life and to think about that self-reflect do I have balance in my life right now am I spending too much time on my career and not enough time on my personal relationships am I spending too much time doing work and not enough time playing because playing is important Recreation is important having a hobby outside of Navy Marine Corps is super important because we are not going to be in the Navy for our whole lives right hopefully every one of us is going to be asked to leave at some point right we either age out we don't fail to select or promote um whatever it may be right every one of us is asked to leave but we still have so much more life to live right so have you been thinking about that do you have balance in your life or is it all Navy Marine Corps you know what are you doing outside your life so I think that's important and the other thing that's important too when we get off track because we will get off track we need to recalibrate what do you mean we need to like is our compass pointing towards true north right what is our North Star um and we need to know what it is and we need to sometimes just recheck all right am I going the direction that I want to be going because there are times when we get distracted stressors of Life stressors of work stressors of other people whatever it may be relationships money all those things that we talked about may knock us off course and we need to go back to understanding what is our true north um do we need like recalibrate I think Warrior toughness talks about that recalibrate we need to take some deep breaths right now all right what is the mission where and I need to be going and let's get back on track a self check self check yeah got it and so again going back to values we talked about that earlier these are our North Stars what is important what is your purpose and are you following that path are you making decisions based on what you value because when we're on that track I think we can handle a lot more stress yeah because we know that it's moving Us in the direction we want to be going and the things that we value fabulous Chaplan Peter Deeds thank you very much for being part of the Department of Navy the Don's office of force resiliency uh Mental Health Awareness Month webinar our interview on tackling our stress to be our best insights from the force truly informative thank you so much and uh good luck with your PCS and thank you much obliged he I really enjoy my time with you always thank you