Animation Workshop Feedback - Anonymous #1a (2023)

all right here let's go back there's no sound Pand my shot coming in here and as you say in your email there this is pudding she's happy not so happy grabs It Anyway Falls it's a bouncy pudding and that's that all right so looking at this you you wrote down an explanation for what is going on and to be honest I didn't quite catch that without I didn't quite understand it without your email so basically when I was watching this going okay she's mad and this could be like a crime scene this is something that happens I don't know if you want to add something I know this is pudding but you know if you had something that spilled or something whatever it is it will give us some history maybe some more context maybe the the pudding is flattened or we can see the pudding here you know like where are we that might help right now it just looks like mad that's probably something she did just because I'm a parent and I'm going to deflect on it's the child's fault which I shouldn't but like to me it's like Angry she looks at this something happens but we don't quite know what but I'm going to connect these two that something happened I don't know we don't know quite yet then a person comes in that opens or shows something doesn't quite open anything right just kind of does something we don't quite know what's happened we don't see anything opening here or holding in a hands I'm not quite sure what he did shows that she looks at it definitely happy but then she's mad and I don't know why so okay of a snobby girl there okay but then she takes it anyway so now I'm slightly confused but okay she grabs it and then it falls out and then H see to me not knowing I'm I'm going to read out what you wrote in the email but what could be funny is that when she's like this she would just kind of open her hands and go ah like oh maybe I grab her hand or like grab the sides of the table and and this would fall over and then it would roll next to this and it's basically this is version one this is version two like this happened before and then to me it would be like oh okay she was clumsy the first time and now she's clumsy again with the second one and then maybe he will come back with the third one and then we cut out you mean like that's kind of how I would look at this what you're writing here is that basically the little girl was mad about a guy ate her pudding so the guy ate the pudding we have no idea that he did this the guy came with a new one okay that we can see the little girl was not happy at first because he was the guy who ate her Pudding we have no idea that that happened but she forgave the guy when she put the pudding on the plate the pudding fell on the ground yeah so him eating her pudding is it's just not clear so it's it's you almost need something where this is way too much animation don't do it but in my head like he will be sitting here finishing this puts it down and then like you know like she looks at this looks at him looks at this and then crosses her arms but that's a whole other animation you know early story of hey I'm looking at you you ate this I wanted this but then he would walk away and then come back into the scene and then give her this and then and then I would get it and then it's just the bummer that that it falls out but then it's almost it's almost mean like he he ate it and then this still happens so she still doesn't get it like she doesn't have a lot of luck but anyway so not super clear to me might just be me but I know to me if that's already a setup there and imagine she again she lets go of this and has some cute acting like where she's frustrated and this rolls over and then at the end it ends up being here uh maybe I know that's SP we don't need it but it would be kind of funny to because then it shows oh that's what happened before this is why this is here she is just constantly clumsy and lets this fall out might just be me anyway that to me is what I have in terms of kind of the story what's going on Silhouette wise watch out we don't quite see what's going on here do we need this hand if so then I will bring it out here so it's a bit cleaner I think that's cute and that works hm that's really cute if you do something like this I see some residual movement in uh movement in here which is cool but you could probably drop that shoulder bring that shoulder up and have a bigger twist like that head is really twisting her body you that arm could kind of lean over this can come down a bit just kind of pushing this it's not just in here and then when she grabs that you no once you refine this like a proper grab with the fingers but that's like later on the tricky thing is here if she grabs it that closely I mean it's a quick move and that's why the thing comes out but it it's a bit of an intersection there I'm not sure if that's super clean and how we H I'm thinking in terms of how could we have this gag of her taking this I understand that that quick move is what makes it fall out it's not like you can move her over and then she holds it more like this and then we have a cleaner silhouette in terms of a almost profile but then it wouldn't fall out it would be a total change where she would be profile and then lifts her arm she you know she brings her her uh head back to tilt this but this thing instead of flopping into her mouth kind of comes out and then just falls down straight and she just miscalculated the distance here and that could be something I know it's a big change I don't want to be that destructive I'm just worried about the size of this pudding how it intersects here the pudding barely has room to go through but I do like the bounciness and squishiness through there it's almost like a cheat it has to be that squishy to do that but maybe you can you can do something where she goes she goes back but that she brings up the root a bit higher and then you can you know straighten her up a little bit so that her chin is maybe here and then keep the cup here you know I mean kind of add some distance and straighten her by by that you would also straighten her arms which would give more room between the chest and this that would be my my bigger concern there and after that tricky with such a big head like the silhouette's not super clean I think for this I would have potentially different acting he goes again for me like what could you do like this is your big moment of outburst and something how would a kid react to this could she like I said maybe hold on to the table stomp her legs could she a bite into the side of the table could she pull on her hair is there anything you can do that will go beyond that almost twins mirrored pose that's a bit more original and it's one of those lazy feedback things be more original but that's just something I think you have such a great opportunity here to show her personality and this is a bit default a bit simple I think you could do a bit more even if you just like and see she's suddenly so mad she has so much strength that she she pushes the table away and then turns away from from the guy um I don't know there's a bunch of stuff you could do so that would be my my last com kind of like an open thing for you like would that be something for you to explore basically I think this is a great opportunity to be a bit more original quot un quote at the end there with her all righty that's that thanks all right there's an email you can sign up you can start whenever you want you can submit whenever you want you get 16 submissions either way like And subscribe would be awesome all right thank thank you