Here's Why the Mercedes Metris is the Worst Minivan Ever Made

If you know just the littlest bit about minivans, you've undoubtedly heard of the Honda Odyssey and the Toyota Sienna. If you know a little bit more, you've probably heard of the Kia Sedona and the Chrysler Pacifica. But those aren't the only minivans on the market. There's also this, the 2017 Mercedes-Benz Metris. The sticker price on this vehicle is $43,300 and it is truly terrible. Now, I rented this Metris here in Denver, Colorado using Turo, which is this service that lets you rent other people's interesting and unusual and exciting cars instead of normal, boring airport rental cars. You can sign up for Turo using the link in the description below and you can get $25 off your first rental. Now, I chose the Metris because I wanted to know what it would be like to have a minivan made by Mercedes-Benz. And the answer is awful. To be clear, the Metris is a minivan. It isn't a cargo van. There is a cargo version, but this is the passenger model designed to carry people. And it's not just a smaller version of the giant Mercedes-Benz Sprinter. The Metris is its own model and it is the same size as all the other minivans. Its length is right in between the Toyota Sienna and the Honda Odyssey. It has dual sliding doors like those vans and it can carry eight people. But that's where the similarities end between the Metris and the Odyssey and the Sienna because while those are excellent vehicles, this isn't. So today I'm going to show you the quirks and features of the Metris and show you why it is a truly terrible vehicle. Maybe the worst Mercedes-Benz in my lifetime. I mean it. Then I'm going to get it out on the road and see how it drives and then I'm going to give it a Doug score. And for more of my thoughts on the Metris experience, click the link below to visit autotrader.com slash oversteer where I've also compiled a list of the most interesting and unusual minivans currently listed for sale on Autotrader. Now I'm going to start this off with a comparison to an actually good minivan. The window sticker price of this van, like I said, is $43,300. And here is the window sticker just in case you don't believe me. And by the end of this, I promise that you won't. But that is the window sticker. Now $43,300 gets you just a few hundred dollars shy of a Honda Odyssey Touring, which is a very nice version of the Odyssey. And of course that van has many, many benefits over the Metris. I'll start with the seats. Like other minivans, the second row has a bench seat. But unlike other minivans, this row of seats, it doesn't fold flat. In fact, it doesn't fold at all. The only way to get back to the third row is pull this latch and then the seat folds as one full piece. And it gets worse. The other two middle row seats are connected and they also don't fold. You have to tilt them just like the seat you just saw, which is a problem because they're connected. So they're incredibly heavy. That's bad, but it still gets worse. The only way to fold the seat forward is on the passenger side of the Metris. So if you have someone entering on the driver's side and they want to get in the third row, too bad. Yes, that's right. There's a latch on the passenger side to tilt the third row, but there is no latch on the driver's side. So there is no access to the third row from the driver's side. I recently reviewed the Honda Odyssey and it was so easy to just move the seats forward and backward or side to side for easy access. The Metris is comically inept by comparison. That is truly unbelievable. Absolutely unheard of in the minivan world. These vehicles are designed around the ease and convenience of getting people in and out. That's the whole point of a minivan. But in the Metris, you can't even access three of the seats on one side of the van. It's like those 1980s minivans that didn't even have a rear door on the driver's side. The Metris barely has any more functionality than one of those. And oh, does it get worse. Now, in the Odyssey, like in every other good minivan, the third row seat folds flat into the floor with a pull of one little latch. You pull the latch, you fold it into the floor and you have a bigger cargo area. In the Metris, well, that doesn't happen. In fact, the third row doesn't fold flat. Now, I've owned six Mercedes-Benz models. I love Mercedes-Benz and I would forgive them of that if the backrest would simply fold on to the bottom part of the seat. It wouldn't be a flat load floor, but I'd say that's not so bad. But it is so bad. The third row of seats doesn't even do that. Instead, the only way you can fold this third row, you pull this latch just like the middle row, and then you push it all the way forward as one single bench. And of course, it doesn't stay there. It just falls down. What even is this? Yes, you're really seeing this, and I'm not exaggerating. The third row doesn't fold at all. The rear bench seat can't be folded down from its upright position. You can only tilt it up and presumably remove it, assuming you're strong enough, since it's one unit that can't be split apart and it's monstrously heavy. And a $43,000 van has this feature, which would have been outdated in 1992. And somehow it gets worse still. Now, if you're sitting in the third row of the Metris, as I am, and there's someone sitting in this seat, meaning you can't just pull the lever, push the seat forward, and climb out, then your only other way of exiting the third row is by moving forward this seat. Now, I, as an adult, can do that. I can push it forward. It's no problem. But it's going to be a problem if you're transporting smaller people back here, like, for example, children. Like, you transport in a minivan. There is no way they could possibly lift this seat forward. It's really heavy. It's got to be 100 pounds. In other words, if you're sitting in the third row and there's someone sitting in this seat, you're basically trapped back here until they move. You have to ask very nicely in order to get out of the jail cell that is the Metris, and yet it still gets worse. Because the seats don't fold down, visibility from the driver's seat back is absolutely terrible. Take a look at this. I'm serious. It's unbelievable. You can't see when you look in the mirror out the back window of this van. Now, you can remedy that by removing the headrests, but the whole point of a minivan is to carry people. Are you really supposed to remove the headrests just so you can see and carry them around like little pieces of luggage just to install them when you want to carry someone in your minivan, which presumably is often, since you bought a minivan in the first place? It's absolutely ridiculous. Every other minivan has figured this out, but not the Metris. And now I'm in Metris jail. But I admit I am being too harsh on the rear seats of the Metris. There is one major benefit back here that I haven't mentioned. Mercedes-Benz PR people, you can breathe a huge sigh of relief. In the third row back here, there are two cup holders. So basically all that other stuff, it evens out. Next up, I think it's worth noting that a Honda Odyssey Touring for the same price of this Metris has power sliding doors to make it easier to get in and out. The Metris, of course, does not. Also, every minivan has figured out how to get the windows and back to roll down. The Metris doesn't have rolled down rear windows. In fact, it doesn't even have those little vent rear windows that you could open them a couple inches like minivans in the 90s. It just has nothing. The front windows roll down. The rear windows, well, they're fixed. Deal with it. For $43,000. Now, obviously, a Honda Odyssey Touring also has power front seats. The Metris, manual seats. This is a $43,000 Mercedes-Benz with manual seats. And it isn't just the forward and backward that's manual. Every single function on both the driver and passenger seats is manual in this car. Next up, a Honda Odyssey Touring, for this price, obviously, has a power liftgate. In fact, it has one of those power liftgates you wave your foot under and it opens automatically. $43,000 Metris, no. It has a manual tailgate. And if you want to close it, there's no power function either. You got to just close it manually. Next up, a Honda Odyssey Touring doesn't just have xenon headlights. It has LED headlights, which is more of a luxury car feature. $43,000 Mercedes Metris has halogens. And I don't mean it has halogen daytime running lights. It has halogen headlights, like a 1984 Volkswagen Rabbit. Next up, the Odyssey Touring comes standard with a rear seat entertainment system. So your rear passengers can be entertained as you drive them down the road. The Metris, well, it doesn't even have a rear dome light. I'm serious. There's only a dome light up here. There's one in the cargo area. There's not one for the rear passenger. So they can't even be entertained by turning on and off the dome light. The Odyssey Touring comes standard with a giant touchscreen navigation system, which is, of course, excellent. This thing has an infotainment screen about the size of a cell phone and it isn't even a touchscreen. Look at this. You have to control it using this little dial over to the right. To me, that's one of the craziest parts. Not only is this screen incredibly small, but you can get a big, easy to use touchscreen in a $24,000 Chevy Sonic. And yet, this is a $43,000 car and a Mercedes-Benz and a 2017 model. And it uses this old school screen that you have to change everything using this dial. That is just unacceptable. Okay, so you kind of get the idea. The Metris is low on equipment and convenience compared to basically every other minivan. But just to really drive the point home, I'm going to go down a list of some of the features that an Odyssey Touring has. Let's see if the Metris has it. All right. The Honda Sensing Package, which includes Lane Keep Assist. No, Metris doesn't have it. Adaptive Cruise Control. No. Forward Collision Automatic Braking. No. Forward Collision Warning. No. Cabin Watch, which is this little camera that sort of lets you watch people in the back if your kids are acting up. Anyway, no. The Rear Vacuum Cleaner, so you can vacuum up your Honda without having to go and get a vacuum cleaner. Again, no. And a Mobile Hotspot, which is nice. You can work on the go if you're in the passenger seat or in the back. That seems like the kind of thing a Metris would have, but of course, no, it doesn't. And then, of course, we move under the hood where the Metris is also hopelessly behind the Honda Odyssey. Now, in the Honda Odyssey, you get a 280 horsepower, 3.5 liter V6. That sort of power level is common among minivans. In the Metris, you get a turbocharged four-cylinder with 208 horsepower. Now, you would think that the Metris's smaller engine would give it a huge fuel economy advantage, but according to the EPA, the Metris gets 22 miles per gallon in combined city and highway driving. The Odyssey gets 22 miles per gallon in combined city and highway driving. The Odyssey does zero to 60 in 6.9 seconds, and the Metris does it in about 8.8 seconds. So, it's two seconds slower to zero to 60. It has 80 fewer horsepower, and it has the same fuel economy. So, basically, you just get penalized for performance and power with no benefit. Now, in this video, I can already tell I'm going to get complaints from Europeans who are going to say things like, well, you don't understand the Metris. Or maybe, the Metris was designed for Europe. It wasn't designed for America. And that's kind of my point. Mercedes-Benz has no business selling this thing here, especially at this price point in North America where the minivan market is so tremendously competitive. And plus, it isn't just in comparisons to minivans where you can see that the Metris is a bad vehicle. Here are some of its other quirks and features. I'm going to start with the key. Now, here is the key to my E63 station wagon, also a Mercedes-Benz. This is the standard Mercedes key. You get on every other Mercedes I've seen, and it's pretty normal. Now, here is the Metris key. You can see they decontented the key. They took off those little chrome signs. They got rid of the panic button. Basically, it's just a cheaper, crappier key. Now, there is a button on the Metris key to open the power sliding doors. But like I told you, this $43,000 Metris doesn't have power sliding doors, so that button is useless. Perhaps it would have some use on the $50,000 Metris. Next up in the Metris, you open up the driver door or the passenger door, actually, and you're confronted with this cheap little plastic panel underneath the seat. Now, I've seen panels here before. Usually, it's because that's where they put the battery or some other important function. But in this car, you open it up, and it's mostly empty. In fact, I'm not really sure why it's there. But every time you open the door, you get to see that cheap little plastic panel, which will eventually fall off, of course, revealing that little hole. And another interesting Metris item in this vicinity, that would be the fuel door. Open up this little door here, and it reveals the gas cap, which is placed right behind the driver's seat. Now, I assume they do that because they sell this as like a cargo version, and you can get an ambulance and an RV, and so you can basically convert what happens behind the driver's seat. You can put a big box on it or whatever you want to do. Problem here is the fuel door doesn't open unless the front door is open, and that means when you pull up to the fuel pump, you have to open your door directly into the pump in order to put fuel in your Metris. It's not a very good design, but this is the Metris. Next up, something else I don't like about the Metris is the blank switches. Now, I can handle a few blank switches, but in this thing, it's endless, and they're in multiple places. Look to the left of the steering wheel, and there's basically an entire row of blank switches. And look in the middle, and there's several more. Now, I don't know if I've mentioned, but this is $43,000. What exactly else do you need me to buy to get rid of all those cheap-looking blank switches? Something I do like in the Metris is that on the top of the dashboard, there are several little storage compartments. And the cool thing about those storage compartments is they have a little roof, which is nice because then you can stick something up there, and it won't reflect onto the windshield, which is something that's annoying anytime you put anything on your dashboard. Speaking of visibility, I know I mentioned the rear visibility is bad, but I think it's worth mentioning again. The rear visibility is terrible. Next up, I want to talk about climate control. Now, it's worth noting the Metris has climate vents going all the way back even into the third row, which is a nice touch. And it even has climate vents in the floor between the front seats facing back at the rear passengers, which I've never seen before and which is kind of impressive. Now, I would like to adjust the rear climate control in the Metris, but something I've realized is there's no way. There are no climate controls in the back for the back passengers to adjust it. In the front, every time I try to change it and press rear, it just blinks. I'm sure there's a way to do this if I were to look in the owner's manual, but it just isn't intuitive. When I press rear, shouldn't I be able to adjust it and make sense? No. And I can't seem to turn it off. It just blinks like a climate control turn signal. Next up, we move on to the infotainment system for some more Metris quirks. Now, I mentioned that it's small and that it isn't a touchscreen, which is, well, quirky in itself, but there's more to it than that. Check this out. When you press the phone icon to pair your telephone in the Metris, it says, ready for Bluetooth telephony, not telephone, telephony. Did they misspell the word telephone in the infotainment system of the Metris? Is that something that happened? Also worth noting is that the backup camera in this vehicle is terrible. Not only is that screen incredibly small, but for some reason, the backup camera is aimed down at the ground. So when you're backing up, you can't really see anything, which would be nice in a vehicle this size. Naturally, there are no parking sensors either front or rear. Presumably you have to pay extra for those. Another cheap feeling piece in the Metris, that would be the area above the seats above the windshield by the dome light. Look at this. You press on it even just a little bit and it jiggles like you could blow it and it would come out of place. This is not the quality I expect from Mercedes-Benz. Amazingly, in spite of all the things the Metris doesn't have, it does have shift paddles. So this is a 200 horsepower four-cylinder minivan with eight seats and no parking sensors, no power sliding doors, no rear climate controls, no folding rear seats, and it has shift paddles. Think about that for a second. That is the level of vehicle that we're dealing with here. Now moving on to the exterior, something else interesting the Metris has is a magnifying passenger mirror. Take a look at this. You know how your passenger mirror always says objects in mirror are closer than they appear? Well, this thing has a magnifying mirror, so it actually brings those objects to not appear closer. They actually just are in their normal spot, so they don't have to print that on this mirror. I've never seen that before and yet the Metris has it. And speaking of things the Metris has, in another wonderful example of Mercedes-Benz cheaping out for this vehicle, every single Metris comes with a European sized front license plate bracket. Instead of just make one for the U.S. size license plate, Mercedes was like, nah, we'll just leave the Euro one on there and stick a couple more holes in it. That'll do. And indeed, that'll do Mercedes-Benz. Also worth noting in the front of this vehicle, the grille is just wildly cheap plastic. I mean, just look at this thing as I touch it. It's just ridiculous. It looks absolutely terrible and it feels even worse. Really not Mercedes-Benz quality. And so you've seen all those quirks, but I simply have to show you one more. I referenced the window sticker earlier and I have it right here and I was looking over it and I noticed that it has the slogan for Mercedes-Benz vans printed on it, which is Mercedes-Benz vans born to run. After spending the week with this one and going over it thoroughly, I can honestly say that yes, it does run and that's about it. So those are the quirks and features of the Metris, by which I mean all the things that make this minivan a massive disappointment. Now I'm going to get it out on the road and see if the driving experience can make up for all this insanity. Okay, driving the Metris. Now, when you get in, the first thing you can see clearly is just how bad that rear visibility is. The camera's mounted a little bit below, you know, where my line of sight is, but you get the idea. It's terrible. Now, I should note, if you hear excessive road noise, you know, I'm in Colorado, it's winter. So this car's winter tires, they're a little louder than normal. That's not the car's fault. If you hear excessive noise from inside the cabin, one of the things I've noticed is that the seats rattle and shake around like crazy, like an 80s minivan that's had 25 years of kids kicking it and dropping stuff in it. The funny thing about the interior of this car, I showed you some of the details, but on a general level, the dashboard, the center control stack, the steering wheel, it all looks like it was taken out of an E-Class from about 2008. That's what I had. I had a 2007 E63 wagon, and it has slightly worse stuff than that. Now, that would be fine if this was a 2007 Mercedes. Unfortunately, this is a 2017 Mercedes. Visibility is excellent out front, just like in all minivans. Obviously, you can just see for days. It's no problem. The ride quality is good. No complaints. It feels like a normal van rides well. Obviously, it's a little louder because of those tires, but I suspect without them, it would be just fine. Braking is normal. Feels normal. Not much to say there. The interior materials are kind of an odd hodgepodge. You do have sort of that 2000s E-Class dashboard and all that, but there are some nice things. For example, the heated seat control is pretty nice on the door, but it is next to a giant blank switch that clearly would have been the ventilated seats if you had more money. More than $43,300. I just can't believe it. The turn signal stock lever, the wiper stock, that all feels actually really nice. Now, acceleration is just... If acceleration isn't the worst part, then it's close. Visibility is probably the worst part, but acceleration is just terrible. I mean, this is a 200-horsepower vehicle that weighs as much as an actual Odyssey. It's just real slow. Now, it does 0-60 in just a hair under nine seconds. That's not incredibly slow if you have a van, but all the other vans just do it faster and they get the same mileage, so why would you want to put up with this four-cylinder? For some reason, I simply can't find a comfortable position with this seat. I've been driving this thing now for two days and 150 miles, and I've been adjusting it and adjusting it, and finally, I've just given up. I do have a lot of room, obviously. I've got inches above my head and I'm tall. I got a lot of knee room, leg room, the rattling from the seats. I hope he picks it up on camera, but he probably won't. It's just... It's excessive. You'd think they would have tested the vehicle before they put it on sale. Just really. I mean, if you don't have the stereo on, you just hear it here from back there. It's just endless. Generally speaking, though, I mean, yeah, there are some drawbacks to the driving experience. The visibility, it's a little slow, but generally speaking, it drives like a van. The problem with this vehicle is not the driving experience. No minivan you're going to buy because it's like some great drive and you just, oh, this one is so much better than that one or whatever. That doesn't happen. The driving experience is almost sort of immaterial. I mean, most people who buy vans, they just want the practicality of the minivan and they don't really care. And the driving experience doesn't differ that much van to van. Now, if you were thinking maybe because this is a Mercedes, it would have this better driving experience, or maybe the driving experience would sort of make up for some of the other things. Well, that's not the case. And so that's the Mercedes-Benz Metris, unfortunately. Now, when I rented this thing, I was honestly excited to cruise around for the week in a Mercedes-Benz minivan. I thought this would finally be the luxury premium minivan I've always said someone should build, like a Lexus or Acura version of the Sienna or the Odyssey. Instead, this is a bad car. This is a bad minivan. This is a bad value. If you have this on any shopping list, you should cross it off. I honestly believe the only reason this vehicle exists is so that limo operators can buy it and advertise that they'll pick you up from the airport in a Mercedes-Benz. Honestly, I would rather be picked up in a Honda Odyssey or in a 14-year-old Acura Legend with mismatched tires. And with that in mind, on to the dug score. Oh, this isn't going to be pretty. Starting with the weekend categories and styling, the Metris isn't ugly, but it has a bit of a slab-sided cargo van look, probably because they make a cargo van version, and it gets a 3 out of 10. Acceleration is weak, and it gets a 1 out of 10. Handling is fine for a van, but not what anyone would consider good. Still, it isn't dangerous or terrible, and it gets a 3 out of 10. Cool factor is pretty bad. It would be a 1, but I think it's just saved by the fact that it's a Mercedes, which makes it ever so slightly cool, and it gets a 2 out of 10. It's not saved on importance, however. This is a vehicle no one is going to remember, and it gets a 1 out of 10. Add it up, and the weekend score is 10 out of 50, which is the second worst ever, second only to the Mitsubishi Mirage. But that makes sense, because it's a van, right? Well, on to the daily categories. Starting with features, the Metris is so pathetically behind on equipment that I'm giving it a 4 out of 10, which is the same score I recently gave a 1995 BMW, but I just don't see how I can give it a higher number than that, given its huge level of missing content it really should include. Comfort is fine. Aside from the fact that I couldn't find the perfect seating position, the Metris does have relatively comfortable seats and a lot of room, and it gets a 6 out of 10. Quality is weak. Aside from the blink switches and the old dashboard, the Metris rattles, and it's pathetically low on high-quality touches, especially for the price point. I'm not sure what reliability is like, but assuming it's average, I have to give it a 4 out of 10. As for practicality, the Metris is abhorrent. Listen to this. It only has 38 cubic feet of cargo space with the rear seats in place, which is the same as a Honda CR-V, in this huge van. Of course that's normal. You could normally drop the rear seats for way more room, but, uh, they don't drop. Still, it gets a 6 out of 10 just because it has a lot of seats and decent cargo room, but it should be better. Finally, there's value, and I truly cannot believe anyone would pay even in the same hemisphere as this car's sticker price. It gets a 1 out of 10, bringing the total daily score to 21 out of 50, which places it shockingly low for a van. It's tied with the Lamborghini LM002. Add it up, and the Doug score is 31 out of 100, which makes it the second worst vehicle I've ever tested after the BMW Isetta and tied with the Mitsubishi Mirage, which is one of the cheapest cars on sale. Here's a comparison with the other worst vehicles. The Mercedes-Benz Metris has the dubious distinction of losing the Doug score to the Trabant.