Es tu en couple avec un/une PSYCHOPATE ?

The archetype of the psychopath is a sadist, parasite and predator. The sadist enjoys the pain of others. The predator uses others to his own advantage. And the parasite assumes no responsibility for his own existence and manipulates or forces others to serve his own goal. Why would I discourage cohabitation before marriage? Well, the basic answer to this question is that there are many proofs that it is a bad idea. And I'm talking about factual proofs here, even if I think there are other reasons for that. But couples who live together before getting married are more likely to... divorce once they are married. And it's a really interesting fact because it goes against what could be considered as a kind of common sense. Because one might think that... that you don't buy a car before you've tried it. And of course, it's the moment when everyone laughs because it seems obvious. But you know, a woman is not a car. And it's the same for men. And it's really, but really not, an object. And so it's not at all obvious that this metaphor applies. Even if, at first glance, it seems... it seems manifestly true. But if it seems manifestly true, then one might wonder... why couples who live together before getting married are more likely to divorce. Well, a possible answer to this question is that people who are more likely to divorce... are the same as those who are more likely to live together rather than get married. And it's possible. It's very difficult to separate these two things. So, but in a way, it doesn't matter. What the facts reveal is that... if the goal is to... learn what you need to learn... so that you can decide more effectively... with whom you should marry... or learn how to behave... if you want to maintain your marriage intelligently... and that the goal is that your marriage is better and last longer... then living together with your partner before getting married won't work. And so, it's a strange truth. And you might wonder why it wouldn't work. And it's also the case, by the way. We see that... the more sexual partners a person has in their life... the more likely they are to divorce during their life. You see... I spent a lot of time studying criminal behaviors... and those in a multitude of different contexts. I spent a lot of time studying the behavior of serial killers... mass torture and people of this same category. But I also spent a lot of time... as a researcher... studying... what psychiatrists... and psychologists... call antisocial behavior. And antisocial behavior... is the behavior model... that characterizes... criminals. And that... manifests itself quite early in the lives of people concerned. Some people think it starts at the age of 2. And once this behavior is anchored... it becomes extremely tenacious. Once it's there... it seems to be especially the case after the age of about 4. Once it's there... it becomes... incredibly stable... and resistant to change. And... there are many different aspects... among people with antisocial behavior, but... some of the markers of antisocial behavior are... delinquency... childhood behavior disorder... early criminality... early sexual behavior... and multiple partners. Now, why is this the case? We can assume that someone who is oriented in a criminal direction... is more likely to take advantage of someone else for his own gratification. I think that's the common ground. Now, I'm not sure because... we don't know why these different symptoms of criminality are linked to each other... apart from the fact that... criminals are predators... and that... the real pathological criminals... are parasite predators. And that's what defines, by the way, the psychopath. A psychopath is a predator in addition to being a parasite. Hum... The archetype of the psychopath... is a sadist, parasite and predator. The sadist enjoys the pain of others. The predator... uses others to his own advantage... and the parasite... doesn't assume any responsibility for... for his own existence... and... manipulates... or forces others... to serve... his own goal. So, it's a combination of very few flatters... whose one of the central elements is... early promiscuity with multiple partners... and that could also explain why... a greater number of sexual partners before marriage... increases the probability of divorce... because it's... it's a behavior model... which is characterized by the exploitation of others... and which is therefore... more likely to be unbearable in the medium and long term. Ok, so I talked to a lot of people... and what I could see is that women... who cohabit with men... are generally not very happy... because the relationship doesn't evolve towards marriage. And I think that... I think there are several reasons for that. Women seem to suffer more emotionally... as soon as they live a sexual activity... outside of an engaged relationship. And you can guess why women feel more negative emotions... than men in general. But also... women pay much more for the fact that... sex is much more risky for women... than it is for men. Obviously. So, women who cohabit with their partners in this way... are often not very happy with this situation. Now, the men I talked to about this subject... are not satisfied with their partner... because of the unstable nature of the relationship. And they often say something like... Oh, but we don't need a piece of paper to... to prove our commitment to each other. And it's a rather pathetic reasoning. First of all because... someone who says that... through his words... tries to convince you... that any marriage is just a piece of paper. And it's... it's a ridiculously stupid argument. I mean that, at least... in a typical marriage ceremony... you... you make the wish... through... what is holy for you... or at least in front of the state itself... and then... in front of your community as you define it... that you... that you are going to commit to someone. And if you think it's nothing... then you are probably the kind of person that... the person you asked... in marriage... should... really run away. Now you could ask yourself... why do you need to commit to your partner... in front of your community and... a higher authority? And the answer to that is that... life is really difficult. And you will have difficult moments with your partner... no matter the love you give him. Simply because you are two different people. And... you are different on a sexual level. You have... different temperaments. So you won't always agree. Terribly difficult things will happen to you. And... the complexity of those difficulties... will make you move away from each other. While it's precisely at that moment... that moving away could be the worst thing possible for your couple. And it's probably in those moments... that you might need to make that wish in front of your community... maybe God himself... or at least the state. And the wish you made to yourself... and to your partner... and the wish you made publicly to all your friends... to keep you united... when things get difficult. And you could say that you don't need that. And I would tell you that it's because things are not yet difficult enough for you. Because when they will become... you will realize that you would have needed it. It's just obvious. And it will certainly happen to you. It will certainly happen to you if you marry someone. Because all the things that life can make you suffer... it will make you suffer them during a marriage. Here is the next thing. It's... It's a necessary act of faith. Because... you know, in our culture... we are not very wise. We think that faith means above all... religious faith. We think that faith means... to suspend incredulity while invoking a proposition... that any idiot would reject. It's often the case that rationalist atheists... consider religious claims. They think that faith means... to suspend your rationality... and to accept an absurd proposition. But that's not faith. Not at all. Faith is what makes the movement possible... in the direction of the unknown. And... you have to go to the unknown because... it's the only way to move. And since the unknown is unknown... because the future is unknown... you can't move forward in the unknown... without having faith. If you fall in love with someone... and you decide to marry him... you don't have the proof in hand... that he is the right person for you. But what you have in place... is the common decision... that whatever happens... you will fight together. If we commit to each other... we have the possibility... to become more than what we are. And what you say to your partner... is that you would like to do it with him or her. Even if nothing proves that it will work. But you could also think that... the more you commit to each other... the more likely it is that it will work.