Should You Raise Your Kids Outside Of America?

This Asian American to be father is wondering if he should raise his children in a different country other than America Because he wouldn't want them to experience the loneliness and racism that he went through we're gonna talk about Yeah, we got to break down this post from reddit. I mean it went pretty viral long story short We're gonna break down this guy's post his situation how it does or doesn't relate What is he really trying to ask so make sure you like subscribe and turning your notifications And I'm going to read the entire post in his voice For context I grew up in a small all-white town in Pennsylvania as the only Chinese kid from age 1 to 17 There was never a day where I wouldn't get bullied or made fun of since elementary school Being made fun of in front of everyone Meant that nobody wanted to be my friend because who wants to be friends with the weird Asian kid that everyone laughs at I Developed crippling social anxiety and depression because I feared I would get picked on in any social interaction as a result of this traumatic Experience very earning early on in life. I became a hermit or Hikomori I don't go to bars nightclubs EDM raves parties, etc All that normal stuff Asian guys do apparently with their huge Asian clicks based off what I see on Instagram I'm 28 years old and maybe I have one person I could call a friend. I'm surprised I survived life this far when I was younger I thought about suicide a lot also what made my childhood worse is that my parents were poor and I did Uneducated which meant I had no one to turn to for practical advice survival skills coping mechanisms, whatever you would want to call it Luckily, I made it out of there and I have a fiancee now, which I never thought in my life I could have imagined. However, I'm worried that if I have kids in the future so if I have a son he will go through the racism and loneliness racism and dating market that I have gone through and Suicidal thoughts like I did it scares me that this cycle will never end There's not a lot of places that seem ideal to raise a family other than Singapore, but that's not realistic Unless you're a multi-millionaire. How do I address these thoughts? that was a lot and You know, it's definitely an emotional post because I think even if you're not from that situation You kind of empathize with some of the feelings. I don't think everybody has felt it on this level I haven't personally but I get what he's saying. I've seen it from afar Yes, and I may have shared like a percentage of this feeling actually my freshman college roommate Like might write a post not fully similar this but more similar to this We all know somebody who's might be going through this. So hopefully this post helps I'm not saying we have the end-all be-all answers, but we definitely have some ideas. I have some ideas for you, man So yeah, we're gonna get into it David. Um, I have two quick thoughts Okay First of all, there's the actual mechanics of moving seas moving overseas, which could be extremely easy or extremely hard It depends on who your wife is the passports available on the economics the economic opportunities Of course, then once that's possible, then it goes to like what place do you pick? He specifically mentioned Singapore right now. A lot of people are looking at Singapore though, right Singapore. I'm not gonna lie It's a pipe dream for a lot of Asians You don't know how many Asians I've heard Thought of Singapore in their mind because they're like, oh that seems like an Asian dreamland Especially for Chinese people where they're like, wow, they speak English. Everybody's Chinese. It's very clean Everybody seems to be under like warm weather, right? It's not easy to move there And again, like he mentioned it helps obviously if you have a really good job off No, we had cousins that thought about moving to Singapore too But it's like you have to have a very upper-middle class job offer to even get the visa to make it work Yeah, obviously like we said passport bros that are single right now Bangkok families probably Singapore, right? Because of the English proficiency what I'm saying is it's just not super easy to move to Singapore Alright, here's the second part of this if you are actually just deeply traumatized from your upbringing in the Midwest of USA Won't you carry that trauma with you everywhere? Even once you move to a less hostile fishbowl But but to be fair to acknowledge this guy's point. There are absolutely Different fish bowls in the u.s. That could play completely different if you're Asian Your poster OP we're about to tell you all the other cities that have a high Asian population I'm assuming that's one of the traits that you're looking for in a new place to move to there are a ton of cities in America now that have over 50% Asians Population in their city that are nice. So I'm gonna talk about them But you're right David you bring up a point that it's like if this guy is broken Then won't he bring his brokenness to Singapore or to Canada to Vancouver BC to Toronto to wherever he moves? Possibly this guy is going to be raising children as a broken man I'm not saying he's broken forever, but he sounds broken right now, right? Um, but to be be fair just to go back to the original point Andrew I do know people who have moved back to Hong Kong Shanghai Singapore Everybody knows somebody who moved back to Taiwan during the pandemic that was Taiwanese and ended up staying You know, so I guess like what what are the major Asian zones that you should take a look at? Okay Yeah, first of all, I'm gonna mention the cities. No place you move to is gonna be a cakewalk No one's gonna be waiting for you with the red carpet rolled out Unless you got some CEO position and you got tons of great family over there, but no one's gonna be you know Welcoming. No, nobody's throwing the welcoming to no way for you Like you won the NBA championship no city in the world. Are they gonna treat you like a king? Okay, trust me because it's just that's not how it works in the modern world Anyways, here are the cities that you should look into visiting Sunnyvale, Santa Clara Rolling Hills Torrance Milbourne Garden Grove Berkeley Lake guys. Let me talk about the cities with the highest Asian population period New York City, Los Angeles San Jose, San Francisco, San Diego, Honolulu, Chicago, Houston, Fremont, Philadelphia Now if those cities are too big and seem kind of daunting and intimidating dangerous Some of those are dangerous cities, but they have a lot of Asians here are pretty mid-sized large cities But with a high percentage of Asians Milpitas 73% Cupertino 70% Monterey Park 70% Walnut 70% Rosemead 67% San Gabriel 66% Arcadia Cerritos Temple City Roland Heights Union City Diamond Bar, Alhambra Foster City Saratoga Westminster Dublin San Ramon and Hercules are all above 50% Hey, shout out to San Marino to if you can afford it real nice to mention cities on the East Coast You got Palisades Park heavily Korean, but over 50% Korean. You got Fort Lee. You got long cities in long I so basically you're asking this poster before he tries to run through the thousand bureaucratic steps It's gonna take to secure any sort of job and raise a family in Singapore Take a look at more Asian ethno burbs across America Sugarland, Texas For example early in Texas has a bunch a Bay, Arizona, Northern, Virginia has a growing Asian population guys There are so many places and just look for the big Asian supermarkets I'm telling you that you can potentially move to that are within America. That's even a lot easier than moving to Canada You don't you know, it's not that easy to move to Vancouver BC. First of all, it's very expensive Toronto was hard for Americans to move to Canada specifically because Canada makes it kind of hard. Yes, exactly I'm sure I'm assuming this guy has a decent but not amazing job So yeah, just move to a different Honolulu. That's gonna feel like a different country. Honestly Yeah, so I'm not saying like hey man life has been easy to you or that you've you're just Sulking in your trauma. I'm not telling him that I'm just saying that you got to start taking the steps to realistic practical solutions Right, right, right. Anyway, let's just get into the comment section guys Um, this was a comment from a Singaporean who has lived in the United States for 10 years And this guy said I struggled to place it for years But now I just kind of feels kind of sad that many people can't put a finger on the kind of discrimination that Asian men Especially East and Southeast Asian men face in the States. I'll follow up with some links, but there's a Yale paper Basically based around how Asian American men basically uniquely do not benefit as much from the socialization in the United States Like it is true that Asian guys Statistically have the highest chance of getting shut out of the social environment of the u.s. Yeah way more than Asian women Yes, to be honest. Yeah, by the way, I'm not saying a hundred out of a hundred. I'm just saying a Disproportionate volume. Yeah. Yeah Does this guy fit into what the Yale paper being referenced is referring to though people growing up that? Probably had a similar background to him, you know That whose parent, you know, the parents aren't necessarily educated or they're not well-off Immigrants, they probably don't speak English and they probably you know, have a lot of like, you know old-school thinking from back home But somehow they raised their kid what in the Midwest or some sort of bubble up town? And at least this guy has some momentum going for him. At least he has a fiance I hope they are happy and love each other and support each other and now you got something to start with, you know So I guess like he's done Okay, given his circumstance, but that's why we even make videos like this just to get your brain going again I don't have the end-all be-all solutions I'm just somebody on YouTube But I can tell you that there are a lot of cities that you should think about moving to before you think about leaving the country Yeah and I think that if you're watching this Maybe the most useful thing you could do is like if somebody in your life is like the OP the original poster You can like bring them some advice, you know, like one-on-one This guy said plenty of boomer Asians Highly overestimated the social landscape of America before they moved here Listen a lot of boomer Asian immigrants when they moved to America They weren't thinking about if you were gonna be cool in America They were just thinking about getting to America and that was their number one goal and making sure you had an opportunity Now unfortunately, yeah a lot of those boomer parents. They're not the best coaches They weren't able to prepare you for everything They weren't able to prepare you for getting dissed by a bunch of girls at school or getting teased by the football team at school They were not prepared for that or how being like if you watch animes and you play MMO part RPGs how at a certain point in America that was really looked down upon right? They just knew that they were putting you in a better position than back home, right? This other guy came from Singapore as well. And he said, you know what? I made sure I did I made sure I had my two sons within a three-year period So they could be homies with each other and have each other's backs growing up I made sure I socialized them by putting them into very American activities like Boy Scouts and flag football And he said that basically if you're raising Asian American boys in the u.s You have to be very intentional about setting them up for success Because he kind of understands that the American environment is kind of be like quasi not suited for them immediately It doesn't mean that you can't make it work But you have to be more intentional about the systems that you put your boys into Wow This guy had the whole breakdown. He was talking about nutrition and exercise Yeah Because he did say the future business opportunities in America are still much higher compared to many other Asian countries as long as they're willing To work for it. That's still true Even though I can like you could argue that America's like peaked economic economically It's still like got a far way to drop before it goes to number two. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie this guy He had the vision. He had the vision now. You gotta have the vision man. That's all it is You can't not have a vision and maybe this guy's white feel is why he feels so broken because his parents didn't necessarily have a Vision for him. He didn't find one for himself until way later And now it feels like he doesn't want his kids to repeat his childhood. But here's the thing Andrew He you know what the question is not answered. He's the parent right? He's gonna be making He's gonna be controlling those kids lives up until like 16 or 17. You are in the driver's seat for the next essentially 20 years Okay, so the year is a more negative response Andrew Somebody says seeing is how dangerous as America's becoming you're left with two options Go someplace in Asia where the kids are gonna be pressured into a mentally draining cycle of academics in schools Societal pressure will be bone crushing on them or go to America where school shootings have still yet to be addressed by the pansy-ass police force So this guy was basically psyched saying pick your poison and I do think things are overall getting better for Asians in America so that's why I'm saying like in the next five years by the time his kids are growing up or born and then they and Then he has moved to a different place then They're gonna have better opportunities man. America's getting better for Asians I every system has pros and cons and then there's micro fishbowls with n Within each larger game map each game square within the larger game map operates differently This guy says I left the States a long time ago and never looked back I will never move back life is significantly better and practically all better other English-speaking countries versus the u.s The inner does Singapore count as English-speaking country. It does right? So so does Canada I would say Canada and Singapore would even be the only two I would consider myself personally Um, this guy says that it's really just like Asian parents got to get involved with their children's lives at school And just like not don't teach your kids just to bottle up their feelings and they don't know how to snap back at someone They said the biggest this guy's theory is the biggest thing is like it's not about the aggression or hostility That comes from like growing up in the Midwest as an Asian, but it's the inability to strike back It's the so he's maybe saying like it's not that America's super hard But it's like a lot of Asian parents are unprepared and they don't aren't able to teach their kids And bring them up to speed even though it's very possible to it's just it's not that complicated But you got to have the right mindset Yeah This guy was saying man, whatever you do do not have kids bro Because you do not seem mentally prepared to have it and you do not seem strong enough. Oh that's uh Yeah, man, that's it. That's a that's a man. That's fairly insightful Hey, and then last but not least other people were basically pointing out the ethno burbs Of course There was a lot of talk about which ethno burbs seem like it's a lot easier to raise kids in than than other ones Oh and even of all the cities that I just named bro. There's way more cities like You know what? I mean that you could even move to like even parts of like Seattle Bellevue ever I mean, let's just rank. Let's just make things simple You rank cities on how Asian friendly they would be for your specific type of Asian on a low middle to high scale You're gonna give yourself the best probability of being a good parent and a good family in a city that has a high rating towards Asians, would you agree like not the medium not the low but a high pro Asian rating for your family? I mean to wrap it up of my general I don't know if the OP is ever gonna see this video but like I do agree that he's got a lot of issues going on in his brain that he probably should Solve or at least calm down that he needs to handle before he starts a family but once he has handled those then look into one of these sit, there's like 40 different cities in America to choose from that would that would give you a somewhat comfortable that have Asian community You're saying that would possibly be in the high tier, dude I think there's 50 cities in America that have an Asian community that you can literally pick from from the West Coast from the North this like maybe not the Northeast as much not like main area and maybe not the upper Midwest, but even in Boston, Philadelphia No, even yeah, even in Boston, Philadelphia there was a day then you have Texas and then the West Coast in the East Coast and then you you would find the One that vibes the most with you or if you have cousins or auxiliary systems Obviously those systems have to be willing to interface with you as well as well as you interface with those systems though. Yes Yes, yes So I think moving is a big option, but I guess regardless no matter what moves this person makes if he's not Good in his mind, then it's gonna be tough anywhere, right? But you know long story short Alhambra is always there man the six to San Gabriel Valley say with me now San Gabriel Valley SG V. I'm a fan. All right guys. Thank you so much for watching Let us know what you think about this Is there any other country outside of America that an Asian person would want to raise their kids in? Realistically or what is the best Asian city in America to raise your kid? I can see by the way in Canada, you know Like certain suburbs of Vancouver were really like a North York Markham being like a pretty comfortable place to raise it Obviously a Chinese family at least. All right, everybody. Let us know in the comments down below Until next time we out. Peace