Gerald Hüther - so stärkst Du Deine Selbstheilungskräfte

The countermeasure against fear is not trust, but the real countermeasure against fear is love. Those who are in love overcome everything. And they are no longer afraid. Why is lovelessness spreading more and more in our modern world? Why does it make us sicker? And above all, how can we change that, thereby also significantly improving our relationship with other people? Today in conversation with brain researcher, bestseller author and head of the Academy for Potential Disease Prevention, Professor Dr. Gerald Hüther. We were already allowed to talk to each other about an exciting book project and today, in these crazy days, we want to talk about two pretty important things, namely how we finally manage to deal with ourselves more lovingly again. And I really want to point out to the viewers a great book by him, Lieblosigkeit macht krank. Erschien letztes Jahr nach Wege aus der Angst. Was hat denn dann so ein erfahrener Hirnforscher wie Sie bei diesem Buchprojekt noch Neues über die Liebe gelernt? Well, I wrote these two books, Das über die Angst and Das über die Lieblosigkeit, actually as my answer to the Corona problem, because when it started two years ago, I asked myself, of course, what is it doing to our society when such a dangerous virus is suddenly pulling over us? And it was clear to me that I had to deal with the subject of fear again. And that's when this book, Wege aus der Angst, came about. And then the scientists know, of course, that it's always very easy with fear, you just have to trust again. So fear goes away when you regain confidence. You know that too, so trust in yourself and so on, that you have a few skills and then trust that if you don't get through on your own, others will help you, or at least you'll find someone who can help you. And the third thing is then this trust that things will get better again. And you can describe all of that nicely. And in the book I also had an additional aspect, that was that you sometimes have fear of something that hasn't even occurred yet, but the idea that it could come like that, it makes you just as scared and is just as real as if the lions were sitting right in front of the door. And I thought that could be written together, especially in a time when people get scared very easily, because their most important coping strategy for fear is to want to control everything. We have become a society that has remained stuck in the sense of feasibility and control. And that's why the subtitle of the book, Wege aus der Angst, means to rejoin the art with the unpredictability of life. We can't control everything and we have to get used to life somehow. And now we're even starting to understand that you can't defeat a virus like that. Somehow you have to deal with it. And now I come to your question. And every time I deal with the topic of fear and just come along and say, oh, you just have to have more trust, I notice that it's not everything. And that's why the countermeasure against fear is not trust, but the real countermeasure against fear is love. And I think that's so strong, because that means, in other words, whoever is in love overcomes everything. And he's not afraid anymore. And this book of fear was then finished and then I noticed that it was somehow incomplete. I can't just let people sit with this fear explanation. And that's why I touched on this again and said, okay, then I'll see what really makes us sick. Because it could be that love also overcomes the disease. And that's where it got more and more interesting for a brain researcher. It's the case that we have areas in our brain, further back, further down, that control and steer and control everything that happens in our body. And the short answer is, it can't do that if I'm not feeling well. And it can do it extremely well if I have a state in which I am so in tune with myself that I can say, I like myself. That's where it's perfect, that's where self-healing powers work, that's where they work really well. And everything that leads to not being in tune with yourself or the world, it brings everything together in the brain, we all know that. And also the areas that are responsible for this regulation of the body. Then nothing works down there anymore and then of course you don't become sick at all. We're at the jumping point already, Mr. Hüther. By the way, I also have a few viewers asking questions in their luggage today. They knew that they were with us today. Exactly on this topic. But how do we manage to be in this well-being with ourselves now? If we bring our brain with us from childhood, you always say that the brain is flexible, we can change something again and again, that's the good news. Or maybe the world out there is just sending us bad news again. So from politics, Ukraine conflict to Corona. How do we do that, which is also important, as you always say, that we develop our potential. So what I mean by this well-being is something, that means in German, coherence, resilience, competence. And now I'll translate what that means. This is someone who has already mastered a lot of different challenges in his life and has always noticed in a different way. Wow, I did a good job of that too. And such a person develops such a feeling that what may still come now, he will no longer throw it away. And he then says, hello, dear problem, how nice that you came, I'll be done with you too. And I'll even be grateful to you afterwards that you came, because I grew up with you too. So that's well-being. Because that's the living, the other thing is the comfortable. And meanwhile, with this ability, that I learn in the course of life, to deal with different problems in such a way that something constructive comes out of it, that is, basically everything that is alive tries to save energy and not to pollute energy in such a way. The brain tries to get into a state even if we don't think about it and don't want to. It tries to arrange the relationship up there on its own so that as little energy as possible is consumed. And the state in which as little energy as possible is consumed, that's what brain researchers call coherence. And that's where everything fits. You know that too. That's also such a feeling of well-being. Oh, and right and left and front and back. Everything fits together wonderfully. And my expectations of the world are exactly in line with what comes to me. And then I have lots of great friends and girlfriends around me. And in nature I am also totally in it and also connected to the cosmos. That is the wonderful feeling of well-being. And if we are honest with ourselves for just a moment, we all know that this is nonsense. It doesn't exist. I always say that it does exist, but I always scare people like that. Because we will only reach this state when we have just died. Then everything fits again. But before that, as long as we are alive, nothing ever fits. There is always something that bothers us. Always something. I open the blindfold and the light falls in and my eye has to start working again. I have a conversation with them. I don't know what they ask next. And then everything is mixed up again. So what can you do if you want to go somewhere and never reach it? You could become someone who is able to take a small step further on this path again and again. It's not about reaching the goal, but about the path you take. And that means I should actually try to solve as many problems as possible. And that I always become someone who, when it's incoherent, doesn't panic. But I say, okay, I can still do it. And then I make it more coherent again. We realize that feeling alone is not enough for life. You should also have a bit of competence. And you should become aware of your own skills. You are such a wonderful bridge builder between science and life practice. We are already in the middle of it. But how did you manage this time, this Corona time, when everything was a bit mixed up? I don't know if I can say that you just lost a good friend. You also posted it during this time. How do you do that personally in practice, when you are really in such a crisis, in grief, maybe also thinking about other people? How do you do that practically for yourself? I think everyone has something different. But everyone has something in this world that he can do, where he connects with himself and with the world. Some go to the theater and some read a book. And then I always go into the forest. Nature is the place for me where I can gather myself again, where I can connect with myself again. And if you ask in general, how do you get through such difficult times? Then, of course, it is the impulse that you immediately have, so that it becomes coherence again. Something annoys you. Another new determination or something like that. And that brings it together. You don't want that. It should finally pass now. And the impulse is, of course, resistance. So if they tell me again what to do, then I go into the resistance and, in the worst case, I hit one on the nut. It's like a crocodile. I always call it the simple mode. I am attacked, so I attack again. But we humans are able to use this slightly higher part. This is called frontal lap. So this up here under the forehead. And there are these networks anchored, which you can't actually teach in school, which you can only solve with your own problems. Up there. And they give you the chance to... These are so-called executive prefrontal functions. This is the ability to plan an action. Great. But you have to have learned that at some point. This is the ability to think ahead. So to estimate the consequences of my action. I have to do that too, if I don't run back like a crocodile, if someone annoys me. And then it's also the ability to hold out a little frustration and to control a little impulse, which wants to strike immediately. And the ability to move into the other. And to see what the whole thing looks like from their position. These are amazing abilities. And you can't use them all, if it's a frontal collision. And if you get scared, then you lose your mind. And then people are like the crocodiles on the move. Now it gets a little difficult. And then it depends on how you get out of this difficult situation and how you get back to yourself. And you asked me how I do it. And I do it too. And I said, I go into the forest. But what I really meant by that is, I try to do something that feels good to me. Okay. So it's not about the recipe. Everyone has to be in the forest if they're not doing well. Everyone has to find out for themselves. Everyone has to find out for themselves what feels good to them. And you only find that out if you ask yourself from time to time what it could actually be that feels good to you. So if you start with other words, a little bit of love to deal with yourself. Exactly. Then you have to take time for it. That's the secret. Maybe not even time yet. You just have to ask yourself whether you want to continue in this hamster wheel, or in this suffering, or in this whole prison. That has a lot to do with freedom. It's not a free life, if I'm running around here from one appointment to the next, so I can make a career. That's being a slave. And then you can come up with the idea, hello, maybe I'll see if I can do something that feels good to me in all this suffering. And then it starts to get really interesting. Because it's very simple. It starts with eating. Eat only what feels good to you. And only with people who feel good to you. And also not on the street anymore, or somewhere where it doesn't feel good to you. My God, you can do so much on that level, where you sit down and say, wow, great. And I don't need to talk about this other possibility yet, that you can deal with television, and the Internet, and all the possibilities you have there, differently in the evening, than you normally do, if you don't deal with yourself lovingly. I can feel myself again. I can do something for myself. I can go to the bathtub, or I can go to bed, and I can read something nice, or listen to music, or dance with my wife. I don't know. I can't do all of that if I'm constantly sitting around these devices. When was the last time you danced with your wife, Mr. Hüther? Really? Really? Good answer. You just described it. I read about it somewhere in a newspaper article about you, that Professor Hüther has set up a formula for happiness. You think of some mathematical story, or from some happiness books. But it said, just ask yourself these right questions. What do I want to be? And what does good to me? Is that the answer, if viewers call in right now, but Mr. Hüther, I have to do this job, because I have to earn the money. And I just don't like him anymore. You just gave the answer, then look at the little things. Let's make it very drastic. And let's say, I'm in prison now, or this questioner, the person concerned is now in prison. Five years for something terrible that she did there. Yes. And even in prison, under these conditions, you still have the option to make a decision for yourself. You can't get out, that's stupid. But you can decide whether you want to hit the wall with your head all day long, or whether you sit on the edge of the bridge and ask yourself whether there is something that does you good under these miserable conditions. And then you suddenly realize that you can come up with something, if you want to. So I can now, for example, I can start writing poems, in thought. I can play chess with myself, in thought. I can try to remember the beautiful moments in my life that I had, before I came to prison. So I have an incredible amount of possibilities. And in the moment when I use this opportunity, and this also applies to work, of course you are stuck in your hamster wheel and have to earn your money, but no one prevents you from taking a moment to treat yourself to something that does you good. So, for example, here where I am sitting, after two hours, where that does you good, then I can at least sit down straight. That's already an act. Wow, that requires, when I listen to you, of course, this honesty with yourself. Because it's easy to push that into the circumstances and to say, well, the job is just shit and I can't get out of it. But to be really honest with yourself and to see what I can do for myself, into this fantasy. And then the neighbors or the colleagues come and say, that's totally selfish what you're doing here. And you have to be careful because the selfish person, then you have to say, hello, a selfish person always needs others so that he can fulfill his selfish actions. It's not possible, a selfish person without others, that doesn't help at all. If I'm lovingly dealing with myself, I don't need anyone else at all. It's best alone in the forest. And then I'm out of my need and then I don't always have to want to get something from others, but now comes the beautiful thing, now I can give something to others. A completely different attitude. Yes, then I'm happy. A completely different life. From that moment on, you can lead a completely different life. You are someone who has something to give away and who doesn't have to chase after something all the time. And let's get back to this relationship with the others, which I would like to talk to you about today. One viewer question, you have already answered some indirectly, but I would like to send it again from Julian. He really asked me to read it to him. Dear Mr. Hüther, how can I motivate myself to do something that has to be done, that I just don't feel like doing? So this famous duty. Also look for a few other things to get through the time well, or? Yes, most people would do that now. Distract themselves or give themselves a reward that they did it. Basically, what he is asking here is the topic that is always said in the Volksmund, the spatula in the hand is better for us than the pigeons on the roof. It is better for us, of course, and also the brain, that such a task, which I don't like to do, that I don't do it. You would be stupid if you didn't admit that. That you don't feel like it now. For example, I grew up in the GDR. I had to learn Russian. Of course, I had to learn this Russian vocabulary every day. You had more Russian than anything else. I know, I experienced it too. Actually, it didn't help in the end. But at least I had to learn Russian. It wasn't funny at all. I didn't like it either. Of course, I had to translate this text. And now comes the answer to the question, I was able to do that because I had a higher education. I wanted something that was bigger than this fucking Russian work and the confrontation with this Russian teacher. I wanted to study biology. And I couldn't use five in Russian. If something is more important to me where I want to go, but that is necessary on the way as an intermediate step, that I walk through a valley of tears, then of course I do that. And then it is not a part of the tears, but it is something that is painful, what I do, but what brings me closer to the goal where I want to go. That's how you hold out your fist. And now we come back to this goal. And that means, if he has now become a doctor, the goal is gone. He has reached the goal. And that's the stupid thing about the goal. And that's why I don't like to call it a goal, but what you could take or look for would not be a goal that you actually achieve, but you could try to pursue a cause that you are getting closer to. So the goal, I could say now, I could say, I actually want to try to deal with myself more and more lovingly. I never achieve that. But I can try a little bit every day. I have a lot to do today. You also say in another context, we have to find new, not relationships, but a new form of encounter between us humans. So away from this, the other is an object, to honest relationships. Why is this such an important topic for you right now? Why does something have to change for us now? We currently have a global situation where you have to say, this cannot go on like this anymore. Now I just read again what kind of plastic is floating around in the seas and that the coral reefs in front of Australia already have a bleach again because the sea is getting too warm. And I just need somehow to look at news for three minutes, then I could go crazy about the stupidity of these people. But it's not stupidity, it's greed. It's actually neediness. There are so many people who actually ruin this world out of greed. And then you have to ask, why does a person come up with the idea that everything around him is to use everything for himself as if it belongs to him? And why does he need so much and more and more? And the answer to that is that he is not doing well. He is not happy, he has set up his life in such a way that he simply only sees his purpose in wealth and in wanting to have and in traveling around or in accumulating possessions. And if you then ask how can this happen that a person, so to speak, spends his whole life trying to gather material possessions, then the answer is that's not how he came into the world. Once upon a time there was a very loving young man or a little baby who actually wanted to discover the world, who wanted to belong to it and who wanted to grow a piece out of himself every day. And that was then rejected by him. He could not really unfold his desire for design, because someone kept telling him what to do and what not to do. He could not rely on those with whom he grew up, with whom he was not honest, but with whom he was actually as similar as the fruit growers in South Tyrol, who tied the apple trees to the wires and called it education. That can't go well. That is deeply injurious and that's why people who are subjected to this then suppress their human needs. That means they don't want to belong anymore, they just see that they themselves suppress others and pursue their own interests. That is why this change that we are talking about here, which then also leads to the fact that we can survive on this planet, has to start where we use each other as objects. That would have to stop. And then the only way as a human being to get used to it and find ourselves everywhere in a way where we play our different roles and then actually don't really get along with each other, but just pull each other over the table or constantly want to prove to others that we are better or want to have more. The only way this works is that you try to shape a relationship so that it becomes an encounter. I can also have a relationship to my refrigerator or to my car. But encounter? I can only encounter them by looking into their eyes, by taking them seriously, by showing myself. And the easiest way I can show myself to the other person in such an encounter is by just smiling. Go out on the street, just smile at someone. It's still a long way, but we can... No, it's not a long way. You can start right away after this conversation. You are already in the other world. You don't have to wait until you have finally arrived at the South Pole. No, where you live, the other life begins, if the whole world has changed. You founded the initiative Liebe4Jetzt. There is a website, www.liebe4jetzt.com and you can just click on it. And then you realize that people meet there who have realized that this is the way that leads out of all this misery. And for themselves, but also for the world. If we could start lovingly dealing with each other... So first of all, if I start lovingly dealing with myself, then other people look. And maybe I don't keep up because I get too much resistance or because too much is questioned. And that's why we made this website. This is actually an initiative of the Academy for Potential Development, whose board I am a member of. And this initiative serves to encourage people to just do it. And to exchange with each other what it suddenly leads to. These are totally insane processes that come into play when one starts to be a little bit more loving to oneself. Because a necessary and compulsory consequence when you are loving to yourself is that you are loving to others. We always want to look at it the other way around. We say, the others should finally be loving to me, then I am also loving to them. This is the language of a needy. He wants to have others and wants to use them and they should do him good. No. I want to try to do the other good first. I would like to ask you at the end what I always like to ask my guests when they have to enter this into a list, Professor Hüther. And I mean, I know a lot from your vita how brave you have always taken certain steps out of the GDR, out of the Max Planck Institute. You have always changed something professionally when you were of the opinion, no, that's not my thing anymore. If you had to make an entry into such a list, what is your personal superpower? What you can do well, what brings you well through life? For you personally. I can't do that at all. But I'll tell you because it's so funny. I couldn't remember much as a little child. Terribly bad memory and that led to that whenever my mother sent me to the consulate and I was supposed to buy three things, then I finally arrived at the consulate and had already forgotten again what I was buying. And then I had to go back again. And when my mother noticed that and she was very worried about me and didn't want me to make so much effort, she gave me a note. And it was always on the note butter, flour, eggs, sugar. When I went there, I handed in the note and of course I didn't have the impulse to remember three things. That got pretty bad at school because you had to remember so much and then I acquired a skill that really has carried me through life to this day and that is the ability to make play notes. But that wasn't the play note it was this ability to do complicated things, for example photosynthesis, to bring down the essential so that it fits on such a small note. And that didn't work right away, I had to do this first, then this and then this again and in the process I first learned how to bring complicated things to the essential. An amazing skill that I only learned by making play notes at school and that is still the basis for almost everything I do. I think it's incredibly important that you don't get lost in the details of many details, but that you always know where the essential is. And as a side effect something very strange comes out when you compress it again and again and make new play notes. In the end I had such a tiny thing but in the process of transferring the essential over and over again I learned it myself. It started with a play note and that's what you do for people today in your books. I thank you very much. It's always bad, you want to talk to them for three hours, you come to one topic and then you could talk about it for a long time. For the viewers, take a look at the book Lovelessness makes you sick or Ways out of Fear. You can read a lot about it. Professor Hütter also has a great Instagram account. Thank you very much. Stay healthy. Thank you for your time. Bye. You just don't want to stop talking to this man. It's great to be with ourselves. Not only as an action to improve our lives but also our relationship to others. I thought it was great how he reacted energetically. It's not a utopia for our society which is still a long way to go. We can start now. How did you feel about this conversation? Which books have you read by Professor Hütter? How good are you at lovingly dealing with yourself? I'm looking forward to your comments. Please leave them right below the video. Like the video if you liked the conversation and take a look at the website of Professor Hütter. There you will not only find current news and information about his next books but also about a next exciting initiative. LearnLustJetzt, where local associations and schools should be interested in learning and keep learning. That's what I'm going to do in the next episode. Have a good new week. Subscribe, ring the bell and I'll see you again with the next exciting guest. Your Peggy. Bye.