Gerald Hüther - Zukunft-Kinder-Schule - Ganzheitlich-nachhaltig …aber wie?!

Hello, I welcome the listeners and viewers. My name is Claudia Zimmer. I myself am a nurse and a healing practitioner and have been organizing the Women's Health Day in Leipzig for seven years. This year, we have also established the Children's Health Day, the Children's Congress, on a special occasion, because we find that more and more children are sick and are also susceptible to maintenance. And if that is the case, then it mostly affects the women who are the caregivers and guardians of the family. And the topic of women's health without children's health is not possible. And I am very happy today that I was able to win Professor Dr. Gerald Hüther to talk about this important topic for more health in children, especially in families, that we can talk about what you can do and how you can advance history a little bit. Professor Hüther is a neurobiologist and brain researcher, has written a lot of exciting books and publications, including on the topic of lovelessness makes you sick or ways out of fear, or saves the game, just to name a few. I am very happy that we have found the time today to be able to talk together. Welcome and thank you very much, Professor Hüther. Yes, thank you, dear Ms. Zimmer, for the invitation. Welcome to everyone who is watching and listening. It is an important topic and I think it's great that you are taking care of it. And maybe it's good if we try together to look at it from a different perspective. Disease is always a process. And we very quickly get into a kind of health medicine that dates back to the previous century and where it is always about repair. But there is no one who can make a person healthy again or even repair it, only the person concerned can do that. And that's why every healing, it sounds a bit esoteric, but every healing is a self-healing. The doctor, hopefully with his existing competence, ensures that this self-healing process can succeed as well as possible. But the doctor can't make anyone healthy. That's right. You have to do that yourself. And then you have a special situation when children suffer under certain conditions and the mothers are responsible for it. Then you have to look at what these children actually need. And then you quickly notice that the mothers are overwhelmed and that they actually need something. And we would have to talk to each other about that to find out what that could be and what you could do. The question is really, where do you start? Because the children are frustrated, they are sometimes demotivated, even though they are not suffering from hunger or are in bad conditions. But at the moment it is very constricted, a lot is being bullied and no one really knows where to start. Do you start with the mothers? Do you start with the children? Where can you start well to loosen the whole thing up a bit? I think this state that we can currently observe in our society is very complicated. People have become entangled in their own ideas and now realize that it doesn't fit anymore and that the world is changing in such a way that they doubt their own ideas. And then they try to tighten their ideas even more, but it doesn't get any better at first. Children had to get entangled, because these two years of Corona measures have forced them to do so and because they have demanded something of them that goes against their child's needs. Of course, they have also looked for many solutions that now turn out to be very questionable. I'll just mention this example, the joy of life. If you can no longer pursue your own joy of life and always have to do what you are told and the whole thing for two years, yes, it actually only works by suppressing in the brain these areas where the joy of life comes from. In the end, there are even inhibiting distortions. And then you can do everything that adults tell you to do, then it works, but you have lost the joy of life and then also the joy of shaping your own, of discovering. And then you have children in front of you where you have the feeling that they are no longer really alive. And that they get sick at some point, also physically sick, is actually no wonder. So, where do we start? First of all, we should start by stopping to expect help from above. It won't come, it won't come either. Yes. And with that you have a lot of ballast out of your brain, because this constant hope that someone will come to save you. No. Politicians have other things to do, actually always, but at the moment very special. And nothing will happen. Also at the school system, probably not much will change in the next few years. I do what I can, but it is an infinitely slow process. Such a huge ocean tanker, which was set to a certain course on the ocean a century ago, to bring this ocean tanker to the point that it changes course. And there are lots of captains up there, but they don't know how to do it either. The idea is that we manage to connect a lot of co-pilots and tugboats to the side of this tanker. If you are interested and want to participate, the initiative that we founded out of the Academy is called Lernlust.jetzt. You can also find it on the Internet. And it's about people in many towns, in districts, cities, joining together and then going to school and saying, we would like to help you so that not a single child in our school loses their joy in learning. It's a wonderful approach. You don't protest with posters that someone should do it better, but you go to school and help the school so that they can do it better and bring the people in charge into a miserable situation. But they can't admit that they enjoy ruining the joy of learning for the children. But they also can't overlook that it happens all the time. You just have to look at how many children are enrolled with insane enthusiasm, want to go to school, can't reach it fast enough, and then it takes one or two years and sometimes it's even faster that they've lost their joy in learning and don't want to go anymore. That's not possible. That's not possible that the institution in which learning should be learned and hopefully with a lot of competence that learning is accompanied, that it becomes an institution where you're afraid, where you don't want to go anymore. And that partly has reasons that are to be found in the lessons, but it also has reasons that are to be found in the classmates. We have become a very rabid society, very egocentric. Everyone only cares about themselves and there are many children out there who are, so to speak, neglected and in a deep sense left to run without responsibility. Parents believe that the children, some parents believe that the children are looking for the right way on their own and let them run and that probably won't happen. In a world where there are so many seducers and where there are so many possibilities that children get lost, you have to, I'll put it this way, take on a leading role and then you have the responsibility that the child doesn't get hurt in some things, ideas, in certain actions, which you only realize when the child has grown up and realizes that it has an eating disorder, that it has slipped into drug consumption, that it is looking for a cell phone or has developed some kind of internet affinity that it is sitting at this computer all day and then it is usually too late. So then you hardly get it out again. So there is a lot to do at the moment to answer your question. The only ones who can do something to help these children to find out from this entanglement into which they have fallen too easily are the parents. So we should actually, when we talk about child health, talk about the mother's health and not under the guise of how healthy the mother is, but how well the mother is doing. If mothers are not doing well, the mothers have a huge problem and then no one can ask the mothers to have this openness and attention for the needs of their children. If too much is pressing on a mother and she has to take care of her husband, her workplace, the next winter, the gas supply and then maybe also take care of her own parents, then every mother tries to limit her and tell her at this point, you can only prevent that by rethinking and trying to shape your life so that you can always and as often as possible create spaces where you do something that is good for yourself. To be loving to yourself would be the best remedy in such difficult times, both for the mother and for the children. To be loving to oneself. Many people come and say that this is not possible under these conditions. I like to say that even a prisoner in a prison who has no more free space can decide whether he runs against the wall all day or whether he sits on the bridge and asks himself if there is something he can do for himself in this situation. And so a mother can sit down and ask herself what would be good for her. And in this way you can step by step get out of this swamp step by step like Munchhausen by always doing something that you feel is good for you. Whatever that may be. You have to listen to yourself and find out what is good for you. Then you get contact with the world. It is a wonderful process. You suddenly realize what is missing in reality. It is not the crossroads and the next vacation. It is simply the feeling that you are accepted as you are and are allowed to belong. It is this experience that you can achieve something meaningful that works like a machine. If you are loving to yourself in this way and make such experiences that it all works you connect with yourself and your needs and at the same time you can satisfy the second basic need according to your own possibilities. I am always myself who says that I am myself. Then a strange situation arises. I will say it clearly although not many will like it. Most of us including our mothers are needy. They are always after something. They want recognition. They want to be loved. They want to do everything right. As a needy person you always need other people who help you to find out what you need. They give you their recognition. They appreciate what you do. They pat you on the back. I don't know what else there is. In partnerships you always need the other person. And that is poison. That is poison because such people are always waiting for someone to come to help them. And that is not how it works. But if you are loving to yourself if you experience that you can create your own life that you become a master in your own house then you don't need anyone. You can be loving to yourself you don't need anyone. The egoists can't do that. A real egoist if you send him alone in the woods for a day he will change. There is no one who can work on his ego. But if someone is looking for something good in the woods it can be extremely good. To be loving to yourself is the opposite of egoism. And who is loving to himself comes out of this neediness is someone who doesn't need others all the time but can give something to others. Now I am at the end of my long speech. I talked it down because in this compactness it becomes clear where it actually gets stuck. And who is loving to himself is automatically loving to others. And who is not loving to others is not loving to himself. You can observe that everywhere. It has something to do with consciousness. You have to know and understand that everything comes out of you. Don't sacrifice yourself for the family but look after yourself. It fits well that we strengthen the women because they always believe they have to, have to, have to. But basically it is similar to when we are in an airplane. We have to look that we protect ourselves that we give ourselves the oxygen mask before we help others to give them the oxygen. It sounds a bit strange when you accompany children. But on the other hand, someone who is in need and is not done with his life is a considerably unfavorable companion for children. It sounds better that way. So please take care of yourself so that you feel good. Then you have enough strength to take care of what the children need. If you don't do that then your children end up in a very stupid situation because the children feel that they can't do it. Then you often have children who want to help you. They notice that mom is not doing well and then they want to save mom. These conflicts that sometimes exist between the parents they want to solve. These are all problems that you cause to the children. They can't solve them. And the result is that the children start and can't cope with it themselves. Later they may get an eating disorder and start to hurt themselves. And what special reactions there are. But if you look more closely what are the solutions that the children have to find in their helplessness? We have the idea on our health day to invite young people and children and to let them speak. Basically, it is important that you find a platform to get into the conversation. There is probably not this patent solution, but the idea is also to find solutions You recently told me when I wrote to you that it is often about experiences. That I don't just hear something but that I have an experience to make a change. For example. Yes, we have already played exemplary that if someone says it's nothing. I can tell you to be a little more loving to yourself if you don't do that. Your brain stays as it is. Maybe you have to say goodbye to the idea very thoroughly that we could change someone else. These mothers can't change their children, can't change their spouses, can't change their parents and also their relationships. But they can change themselves. And that is the crucial question. Am I able and am I ready to understand this change in myself that I want from the world and the others. That's how you get out of it. It's not that easy. Because you have to get out of old ways of thinking. Some have become used to it and to them the constant complaining and self-denial you have to get out of it. And you have to become the master in your own house. And not by turning yourself with a hard brush but by lovingly asking yourself what you need to feel better. Do you have an idea how to reduce stress and fear? Because at the moment there is uncertainty and fear how it could go on. First of all I would like to keep it apart. Stress is not fear yet. Stress has this tendency to feel overwhelmed and then you are afraid to fail. And then it gets difficult. But that the body gets a bit of stress is what athletes do every day when they train. It's all stress. And we call it eu-stress, good stress which leads to the strengthening of the system, the strengthening of the body. Maybe it also applies to the ability to deal with problems. If you are always happy when you have a new problem, if you are looking forward to the next training session, then you can deal with problems in a completely different way than if you are already afraid with shaking knees that this will also happen. And there we are in fear. Fear is crap. It's not a pleasant feeling. We always like fear when we do something that is not good for us. We are back to the beginning. So we like fear when we have moved too far away from where what we do also succeeds easily. When it suddenly gets so cramped and you have to and you don't know what's going to happen and you also have concerns about what could happen that is really bitter and you are far from where any creativity and any playful ease in dealing with problems lies and then you are trapped in your own fear. And yet you have to say at this point, actually you should say, thank God that this fear has fallen on me now because it wants to tell me that I'm doing something wrong. Fear is not there to make people unhappy and to destroy them, but fear is there as a feeling so that we can feel with all clarity that we are going the wrong way. So if a whole society is so afraid as it is at the moment and also was the case with Corona, then it is more of a sign that we as a whole society are apparently pretty weird and unfavorable and that in the way we live together, how we deal with our children, also how we deal with our body and our health, also how we shape our lives, that there may be something highly questionable and then the fear comes. If we take this with these Corona problems, that is of course a great insecurity when suddenly a disease appears that we don't know and where we then learn in the media how dangerous it is. That makes a lot of people insecure and then you have to stop again before you panic and have to ask yourself if you want to see for yourself that you can behave in a more suitable way in this situation than is usually the case and then it may be that you take certain measures for yourself so that you don't infect others or get infected yourself. But if you run around and wait that now someone up there in the government announces what to do and what to leave, then it is difficult and I tell it because it was there before. So this tendency to always hope that someone will come to save you, many people have had before and then they have to get the fear so that they can find out from these strange ideas. We are self-designers of our lives and it is unfavorable if we always wait for someone to do it for us. The husband himself won't do it and Mr. Lauterbach won't do it for us either. Or, as always, this health minister or whatever it is called when it is disputed. Basically, it is also about self-responsibility, self-love, self-acceptance. Everyone stays with themselves if I understand you correctly. Yes, and I say it so that it doesn't get stuck in such a thing, in such a saying. What should self-love be? If I say, just try to deal with yourself a little bit more lovingly, then it is an invitation to act. Not to think about what self-love could be, but to act. You can then just ask yourself, what is good for me now? And then please do it. And then you have a positive experience, namely that it is not so bad if you watch a little and don't just turn on the TV every evening in your exhaustion and don't just watch this stupid TV show. Turn it off and then you have freed yourself all evening and then you can ask yourself what you are doing. Do you go for a walk? Do you do something nice with your partner? Do you read a book or make some music or listen to music? All of a sudden you have a nice evening, but you made it yourself and not because someone came to pamper you. Yes, actually to feel the joy in the sound again. And I would say that once you try it out, something loving for yourself, it will be perceived positively. You experience it that you have an experience that is really nice, that you like and that is what changes in your brain. Not the speech and not the good intentions, but that you do it and realize that it helps. And then you have the courage to try it out again and then it becomes permanent and then you have gradually growing networks that put you in a position to create such opportunities again and again where you feel good. Or also what you described with the playful or also on the subject save the game, in this direction. Yes, that's what we all see at the moment. It's all so functionalized. Everyone tries because he thinks that there is no other way. Everyone tries to optimize himself and tries to function as well as possible, not to make a mistake and the result of this is something automatic. People who have completely lost their playful ease. The brain researcher says that if people learn something, it's only possible by playing how it works. We can learn that from the children. That would be an extra chapter for our whole conversation. The children are not yet as entangled as we are. That is why it is the greatest happiness that you can have as a mother or father that you accompany a child into life, which shows you what vitality means. This whole openness, this joy of discovery, this desire for design, this prejudice, all that the children bring us is the greatest gift because it helps us to understand how entangled and functionalized we are when we have been on the road for 20 years and we wouldn't even notice how stupid we are if the children weren't there. When you realize that, you can be happy about the children again. You see the children as a gift and the children are in a certain way development aids for the adults. They have entangled themselves and the children help them to free themselves from these entanglements by bringing them back in contact with all their vitality. You said that very nicely. Sometimes I also find that I get everything very nicely on point. It is also a beautiful picture with the development and so on and I take it very, very gladly and bring it into the network and to our health day where we just want to continue to work in this direction and to network. I would also like to look at what you said about the desire to learn and now and maybe also bring it to the public. Because we also get people who say, what is there? I always find it very enriching when you come into the conversation and get new suggestions and then different things can develop. We are now preparing from the Academy for potential development an initiative called Become Development Helpers. And that's pretty exciting because it could also change the whole self-esteem of people like you and your employees. That they are not supporters but that they become development helpers. People who have entangled themselves and help to free themselves from their entanglement. It has little to do with money. You don't get entangled in too little money but you get entangled in the solutions and in the ideas that you had because you thought you needed it all and then at some point you realize you don't need it at all. You have to carry it everywhere. Yes. And you constantly have to make sure that no one steals it from you. We as a society have become more of a property management society. We all make sure that nothing is lost from what we have been looking for. And that is of course a very boring activity and you can easily forget that the future of a society does not depend on the preservation of the property but on how well the adults are able to give their children all that they need for a successful life. And at the moment or for some time now we are not doing so well. There are many children who are growing up who have become life-incompetent. At the age of 15 their mobile phone falls into the water and it is as if their life is over. But maybe this is a good opportunity to think again. Because when you realize that it does not go on like this and you reflect and look carefully that new things can be done again. And here we are with these intensified pictures of diseases that we see. There were many psychological disorders as at the moment and also with the children it has become a catastrophe. And psychological disorders that appear reactively because the conditions under which you live have become too unfavorable are always solutions that these people have problems that overwhelm you. Resignation and withdrawal are a very good solution. And only if you do this for a whole year and in the end you don't have a single friend or girlfriend and don't talk to anyone and only withdraw from everyone and don't want to live anymore and don't know what tomorrow will be then you have something that the doctors call depression. And at the beginning it was a solution and then it got so ingrained that even if this person didn't want to get out of this picture. No, that's too late. So I also believe that prevention or health should be made more experienceable. Not only to take care of diseases. Because I am also a healing practitioner and sometimes people came to me as a last chance to get healthy again. I would really like to encourage and invite our platform for the opportunities that exist. And you have already told me so many interesting things and that I would also like to carry on. And I would very much like to go even deeper and maybe just introduce myself. Also with the development helper, I like that very, very much. And I would be very interested. Yes, that is really interesting because in the moment when I imagine myself as a father I am not a teacher for my child but a development helper. Then I am in a completely different picture. This is a different film. Then I just can't do some things because that contradicts what you should do as a development helper. So the essence is very interesting. Then you really have to think about it and reflect. And that would also be an interesting message for our people if you say in the end you are a development helper and we can learn from our children. That's wonderful. We don't have to raise them and take them with us but actually the opposite. Really in love and in the now. Yes, and be careful that they don't get confused. Now we can continue and say that the stronger the parents are entangled the more likely it is that with their own entanglement they bring the children back into a situation where they have to entangle themselves again. And so it is always passed on. And that's why it is so helpful when adults come up with the idea to look again how entangled they actually are and to free themselves from it. And this approach to be a little more loving to oneself helps people out of entanglement. Because they are again designers of their own life and are guided by what they do what their real, living needs are. And not what the neighbors think what the spouse thinks or the parents or whatever or some clever advisors have given them on the way. It's all crap. You can throw everything in the corner. There is something in you in every person a deeper, inner knowledge that is collected during the whole time when you do everything wrong. That is also in there. But you don't get there. But when you start to be loving to yourself then this treasure chest opens up and then suddenly you realize what you have missed so far. But it's never too late. That's the happy message of the brain researcher. You have entered the old age. And new connections can be built. We call it time-learning. And therefore if you have done it wrong for 30 years start doing something different tomorrow then there is also a new shift. Hurray, it's possible! Sounds really good. Yes. So it was very colorful very versatile very inspiring and I thank you very much for the wonderful conversation with you. We are happy to stay in touch on health day with you personally. And as I said I will take the topic of development aid in my heart. And I just say many, many thanks to you. All the best. And also your work is very valuable and really great and I thank you for having me. You are very welcome. And I will stay in touch with you and everyone who listened to us. All the best. And try it out. Thank you very much. All the best. Thank you.