Guardians position player makes pitching history | Weekly Dumb

My name is Jimmy, his name is Jake, and this is the Weekly Dumb. Jake, how was your weekend? What's it like being dumb? Jimmy Snack, everyone with us? Good weekend. Went to two concerts. Happy Labor Day to me. And summer's over. Jake, let's go to the sports. Highlight real stuff this weekend from Chris Rose's Cleveland Guardians. They had a position player, David Fry, three, two, one, five on the nose. It's five on the nose and it's obvious. That's a hard five. They let him out there to die. He threw four innings in relief out of the bullpen. He's not a pitcher. I probably should have said that. Position player throwing four innings. 64 pitches. 64 pitches. Second most pitches by a Guardians pitcher that day. Four different innings. One of them though, Jake, clean. No runs. You shouldn't be allowed to do this. You should be the position player pitching. They should tighten it up. Awful product. And the Twins, stop it. Stop it. You know what's entertaining? No, I'm not getting mad at the Twins. This is full-blown Guardians. Guardians got five months of pitching for a six-month season. Hear me out. The heck? Hear me out. No over-the-fence homers. It should be like men's league softball. If you want to hit one in the gap and sprint and make defense happen, that's an entertaining product. BP home runs get kind of boring after a while. What was this almost a breakdown you were telling me about? It's a good one. I'm going to grow my beard out for it. I bet I will. And you can bet on that at DraftKings. They're sponsoring my beard growth and this episode. One, two, three. Jim, weren't you talking about paddle boarding in Australia and that's how your little brother got born or something? That was in Thailand, I believe. This did take place in Australia. A paddle boarder surfs a wave with a shark on his board. Jake, very cute. Very cute. Almost looks like a fake stuffed animal shark. It was a real shark, according to all the reports, but dead. But I don't even understand what the surfer's doing here. If you find a dead shark in the ocean, just let the dead shark be in the ocean. That's where it lives. That's where it dies. What's the shore got for you? Just going to put it on display like some sicko? That's what I'm not sure of because it's one of two ways. I think we either have a taunting going on here. We have the surfer kind of taunting the shark and look at what I've got. I do think what our surfer friend was going for, and I'm going to give him a little credit, I think he's going more Viking funeral. I think he's giving the shark one last ride. That's cool. Which that feels more surfer. Us sharks and surfers don't have to not get along, man. Apparently there's been a lot of shark sightings in this beach. It does look like a video of someone with a fake shark on a surfboard. It's perfectly sized. I'm 50-50 that this is a prank viral video of this. He has a rubber shark that he was using to scare other surfers. It's a little too big to be a fake shark that real looking though, you know? But like a rubber shark this big? But it's big. Surfboards are huge. I think it's a little bigger than that. No, I think it was like this big. It's this big. Oh, this is a cool sports story. This is a crazy story, and it actually kind of works out. Jamaican sprinter Andrew Hudson ran with glass in his eye after the cart taking him to the track crash. So we've got a 200-meter race coming up. Come on. They show the clip outside the stadium of them showing up in golf carts, and you're like, wow, cool to be this level of athlete. Then you get the worst golf cart collision ever. When I say worse, I don't mean like, ah, worse. It feels like- Because the jackass one in the movie was pretty bad. We could have easily not had this happen. And then the final scene, it just cuts to him in the golf cart holding his eye. So the one golf cart that's making the U-turn is totally at fault. Yes. And that's not the cart he was in, just rammed into the side. He was sitting by the window. He got glass in his eye. They cleaned his eye out. And then he's got a quote here. He says, I did the best I could. I was sitting in the middle of the room for like 20 minutes trying to have a decision if I was going to compete or not. I worked hard to be here. And even under circumstances, everybody has hurdles in life. If I can run, I'm going to try my best. So I tried. And they are giving him another shot. Let's get the glass out of his eye and let him go again. I'm happy for Andrew. If he wins his next race, I'm happy for him. He's not going to win. Usain Bolt would be slowed down by glass in his eye. He puts glass in his eye. This not sports is horrifying. Yeah. A plague of beer drinking raccoons has caused a catastrophe in Germany. Is that your German accent? Yeah. I don't really care. Raccoons are taking over Germany. They're killing their pets and they're invading their houses. I'm more interested in how raccoons got to Germany. That's what I Googled because I was like, why are raccoons in Germany? It's crazy. During World War II, now people say that the Nazis brought them. That's a myth I found out. But there was a shed where a dude was making raccoon pelts. So he had imported raccoons from North America and he's making pelts out of them. This one dude, he had 20 raccoons. A bomb hit that shed during World War II. All the raccoons got loose. Those 20 raccoons have turned into half a million raccoons in Germany and they don't have any big cats in Germany, bobcats, in Germany to take the raccoons down. So they're just thriving and they've come out of the woods. They captured 10,000 in the 1990s. In 2020, they've captured 200,000. This is essentially what they warn people about time travel, but you do one wrinkle wrong and you could get drunk raccoons attacking Germany. If I'm Germany, I would make a statue of the 20 raccoons. Jake, it's time for the employee of the week. Employee of the week this week. Actually, it's about last week. It's about last week. Our graphics team's getting the nod. What a beautiful poster they made for Blitzball Blitz promotional. You look badass in the middle. You like this? Tough guy alert. So shout out to Blake and Matt for being awesome graphics guys. And just generally nice. Good score bug for Blitz too. Two things I like, but not combined. Scores and bugs. Score bug. Musical scores? Sometimes if they're good. Oh, don't let Joe's McFly near your bug. That was the Weekly Dumb. Today's episode of the Weekly Dumb was brought to you by DraftKings. NFL season is officially here and we've partnered up with DraftKings Sportsbook, an official partner of the National Football League, to bring all new customers an exciting way to join in on the action. New customers download the DraftKings app, use promo code DUMB and bet just $5. Boom! 200 and bonus bets hit your account instantly. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now. New customers use promo code DUMB, bet just $5 on any wager and get 200 and bonus bets instantly. That's promo code DUMB only at DraftKings Sportsbook. And that would be like the first piece off, right? Oh, I think you find the lair in the woods and the raccoons have probably already made that. You think the raccoons have made 20 statues? The raccoons, because they're getting killed so quick, are now procreating even faster. They don't know what to do. They're trying to pass a law that says like anyone can kill a raccoon, like just free. Yeah. But then that hasn't passed yet. Been trying to pass that one for a while. And then they're also saying maybe we turn raccoon meat into a country delicacy, so like we eat it. They did that in Australia with kangaroo because they are an infestive. So you can kangaroo meat. That's kind of chewy, chewy, tough, gross. Raccoons stink.