Spit Out what was Introjected in Your Childhood | Complex Trauma Recovery

I want to make a really nuanced point about trauma. Trauma, you could say it's a lack of love that we experience usually in our formative years, you know, if we're talking about complex trauma or developmental trauma. And of course, you know, that's the most basic form is just almost like a lack of touch that we experience. Certainly then a lack of attunement to the inner world of the child. Over time, we'll develop into complex trauma. And then, of course, like just explicit abuse, neglect. Now, the subtle point I'm going to make here is that the trauma now as adults that we're living with, maybe this is an obvious point, but I just felt like I wanted to say this in a video. You know, as adults, it's not what happened to us. That's the trauma that we're carrying. It's what we introjected about ourselves back then that we are still carrying inside ourselves. Technically, that's what's the issue. Whatever traumas I would face as a child, there was some sort of a philosophy, even you could think of behind that behavior that I met, that we met. And that sort of goes in and it sits there as these sort of energies. You could say they're like thought forms almost. Now, they're incredibly powerful when they went to the body and they are held in the body. You know, it's true that idea that the body keeps the score. That's very true. But really, it's something that I've come to accept. Like, for instance, I'm holding on to shame because of this defective story that there's something wrong with me. My authentic personality is not going to hack it here, interject. Now, I'm carrying that. Now, there may have been all sorts of ways that I learned that bad neglect and shouting and abuse. But what's important in my life now is this thing that I've interjected. There's something wrong with my personality. That's what I'm walking around with. That's the unconscious thing that is creating my world for me. It's influencing all my relationships out here. So the idea here is that what we're trying to do, of course, there's an awful lot of body work with trauma, but we're trying to find the interject, the thing that we swallowed in. And we're trying to get it up and put it down, spit it out effectively. There's so many of these things. But I have found it's a theory I always believed in. In practice, I've seen it so many times. It is shame. It's guilt. It's unworthiness. It's smallness. It comes back to that all the time. The precursor for that is a sense of being abandoned or rejected. But then we go into this as children. We go into something's wrong with me. Why have I been rejected? Why have I been abandoned? Why am I alone? Why is my personality running into all these problems? Something is wrong with me. We don't even know we're interjecting this, but we are taking it in. We don't even have the language for it. But it's almost like the concept, the idea, the philosophy is interjected. The language comes later, maybe when we're a bit more intellectual. But we are inquiring all the time into the triggers now as adults. And those triggers, they're felt in the body very viscerally. But there is an idea underneath them. Now, there may not even. This is a strange thing I'm going to say here. There may not even be any language behind that idea. But it's an idea, nonetheless, that is causing that energy in the body. I think I might make a video on that at some point. Ideas are different to language. A concept can exist before we have the language to describe it or to communicate it, to express it or share it. So these interjects are sometimes they're not even verbal, but they are conceptual. In any case, what we do is we find out what this thing is and we start to question it. Because the good news is also that none of them are true. And I think sometimes people think that's so naive to make a blanket statement that there's nothing wrong with anybody. But again, when you sit with enough people and you do enough inquiry and questioning into these interjects, these shame based stories, self perceptions, you realize that they can't really hold up to much scrutiny. You do realize that this isn't true. And nobody's story of shame and defectiveness and unworthiness is actually true. It's just a story. That's all it is. Now, it may be multi-generational. My father had it. My grandfather had it. You know, his father had it. But that's all it is. It's an old story. But you know, you can always change your story. You won't want to. Your nervous system is trained and carrying that story. It's very attached to that story. And a part of changing the story is realizing that it is safe to let this go now. I don't need to carry it any longer. It's not protecting me. Far from it. But that's what we're trying to do here when we're working with trauma is to. It is somatic. It is body work. But we're trying to find the sort of the concepts or the assumptions that are underneath those intense emotions that are being triggered all the time. Guys, I hope that's somewhat useful. I know I was rambling there quite a lot. But again, I hope this was a useful video. If anything I've talked about here has brought up anything for you, you can contact me at my website. And I'm available for one to one work as well in therapy. Guys, take care of yourselves, and I will talk to you again next time. Bye for now.