Let's Talk Perfectionism, Cancel Culture, and Resentment | Therapist Reacts to God is Grey

Because it is a privilege to have a platform. It's not a God-given right to just get on the internet and f***ing flap your lips once a week and collect a paycheck. That's not how it works. Okay. Hi, everybody. Thanks for coming back if you've been here before or hi, welcome if you're new. My name's Miki. I'm a therapist and we talk about therapist-y things on this channel. Today, we are talking about something that is a little bit of a niche take. It's also a little bit of a hot take. We are talking about Brenda from Goddess Grey who put up a video called I Was Cancelled by Exvangelicals and I'm Done Being Perfect. There is just a lot to unpack here. Before we get into it, though, I do want to be super clear. I am making this video in a good faith effort to educate people, the general public, the normal everyday person about trends and behaviors that commonly occur in interpersonal relationships. I don't want this video to be a thing where me and my audience are shitting on Brenda specifically. I'm not really interested in that and I just don't find it to be super productive. So I want to use this video and some of the behavior displayed in this video as a learning opportunity for us to talk about how, first of all, this is a human behavior that shows up in all human relationships. We all do these things and how we can use this as an opportunity to better ourselves, to do the work on our own selves and our own relationships and be better people. So like I said, I want to be super clear. I'm not coming for Brenda. There's no tea or shade here. Please don't make it a thing that it's not, okay? The other thing that I want to talk about before we get started is my merch! It is almost spooky season. As a person who lives in the desert and is obsessed with spooky Halloween, autumn things, I'm trying to manifest cool weather by releasing merch early. So our autumn drop of merch is live now on the Bonfire store. If you want to buy the new merch, go click the link in the description. I'm going to try to edit the merch shelf so that it'll just show up underneath this video, but if I haven't figured out how to do that, link in the description. I'm also going to put some of the designs up here. I'm very excited about them. We finally got around to making this sinful little bitch t-shirt. We also have a girl defiled t-shirt, which is really, really funny. So if you want to go shop those and you want to have them for spooky season to be on theme for fall, go click the link in the description and go buy those. Okay, thanks. So like I said, there's a lot to unpack in this video. It's 39 ******* minutes long, so I don't want to sit and do a play-by-play talking about the thing. We did that when we talked about the Jimmy Snow thing, and honestly, I think it took like five years off my life trying to edit and watch and like review the thing. There are a couple of like key moments in this that I want to highlight and talk about, the first of which being this moment here. So let's scooch, let's watch this, and then let's discuss. Okay, let's watch this clip. That's a whole other video. I've made plenty of videos about that, but I'm telling you, that was my breaking point where I was like, no, it doesn't matter how embarrassing this YouTube thing is, I have to do it. Long story short, YouTube became its own beast for me. Now I'm sitting in a place where I'm like, I'm a YouTuber and a social media person. FYI, right before I got on YouTube, I had been off of Instagram for nine months and I loved it. I loved never looking at Instagram. I felt mentally well, I felt clear headed, I loved it. But as soon as I got on YouTube, I recognized it as the tool that it is, a tool to reach people, a tool to let people know what I was doing. So I tried my best to lean into it. Here's where I get to the sticky, complicated portion of the story. When I first uploaded those videos, I was coming from a place of my traditional perfectionism that I had practiced within the Christian church. So she goes on to talk more about the perfectionism stuff, which we're going to talk about later, but I wanted to talk about this section in particular because this is important to highlight, like I mentioned before, from an interpersonal relationship perspective. So the thing about this that's significant to me from my perspective as a clinician, like if someone were to mention these things to me in session, to me, like I'm hearing a lot of negative feedback about YouTube and about content creation, about being an internet creator, which is all fair, all valid. Like I get it. Those are all like perfectly valid and morally neutral emotions to have. However, this is a common pattern that happens in relationships where we subject ourselves to situations and interactions, to behavior patterns that we don't feel great about that aren't serving our best purpose or aren't the thing that we would have chosen freely because there is this feeling of obligation. Oftentimes this will lead to a feeling of resentment in relationships, particularly if we're talking about like in a romantic relationship. So let's say that one spouse feels a particular pressure to be the one who plans and organizes and books and situates all of the dates and like date night in a partnership. Maybe that's not something that they would have freely chosen to do for themselves, but there's a feeling of obligation and so they choose to do it. Oftentimes the way that we see this play out in a romantic relationship dynamic is that eventually after a certain amount of time or if a situation arises where that partner who's organizing all the dates feels as though their needs aren't being met, this resentment comes out because the feeling is like, I've been putting in this effort and I've been putting these like proverbial coins in the relationship piggy bank, even though this is not something that I wanted to do, even though this isn't something that I enjoy doing or I would have chosen to do, I've been doing this and now you're not meeting my needs. Now this is no longer serving my purpose and so like, what the ****? There's usually a lot of anger that comes up. There's a lot of like self-righteous indignation that happens here of like, how the **** are you going to come at me when I am the one who has been doing all of this work? And I picked up some of that energy in the way that Brenda speaks about how she felt so clear headed and felt so great being off of Instagram and she loved it and she was embarrassed by the idea of being a YouTuber, but she felt this sense of obligation to be a YouTuber and to utilize the platform as a tool to disseminate information, I guess. As important background here, I guess we didn't really cover that, we probably should have. This video is coming after several months have gone by. There was a situation in which Brenda came under public scrutiny for a series of decisions that she made surrounding a photo shoot and an Instagram post of said photo shoot and the way that she handled the comments section for that photo shoot Instagram post. I don't want to get into the particulars because quite honestly, I don't really know the intimate minutiae of every detail of the situation. Brenda also refuses to address the actual, like what she says is the truth of the matter. She says you should research it for yourself and you'll find both the truth and things that are lies and so I don't feel comfortable researching it and then relaying things to you that are potentially lies. For what it's worth, there was a lot of scrutiny about diversity and there were BIPOC voices that spoke up about concerns in terms of Brenda not honoring diversity and inclusivity in her community. So there was just like a kerfuffle that happened there and when it came time for Brenda to take accountability for this, a lot of people were very disappointed in the way that she handled it because the feeling was that she didn't appropriately take her responsibility and instead like deflected. So this statement is especially telling given that the title of the video is I was cancelled and I'm done being perfect because like I said, in interpersonal relationships this dynamic happens a lot where we feel like we're putting coins in a piggy bank. We view relationships sometimes as this transactional thing and I'm wondering if Brenda viewed her relationship with her audience and her platform on YouTube in this way where she was practicing this effort of like trying to disseminate what she perceived to be like very necessary information about progressive Christianity even though she apparently didn't want to be on the internet. She was kind of like being a martyr and like just really doing a good deed to her own detriment and now people have, in her mind I guess, like have the gall to turn their back on her. If you notice this coming up for you in your own relationships, I really want to encourage you to take a step back and survey the way that you are conceptualizing your relationships because our connection with other human beings is not and should not be transactional. When we view our interactions with other people as like putting coins in a piggy bank, we are in a way dehumanizing each other because if you choose to put in effort, to put in time, to put in affection, to put in love to a relationship, that's a choice that you are making as a human being of your own independent free will. No one owes you that exact same amount of affection or love or time or attention back. Relationships aren't an input output machine and when we view people in this like mathematical equation, first of all we set ourselves up for disappointment, but second of all it sets this very unhealthy dynamic in a relationship where I'm only willing to give you what I feel that I will receive back and this feels very bad to be on the receiving end of. It's very hurtful to be the partner who realizes that your partner has been only giving you affection because they expect to get it in return. This is actually a very common issue that comes up in therapy for folks who have been socialized as men, particularly men who have relationships with folks that are socialized as women or folks that are affected by misogyny because there is like the inherently transactional expectation there, particularly around sex and intimacy and so this has been like a very important and necessary learning opportunity for a lot of men in therapy to recognize, for example, that buying a woman a drink at a bar does not entitle you to attention, to sex, to a date, to a phone number, to anything really. If you're choosing to shoot your shot or you're choosing to show love or affection or attention, that's a choice that you're making and it's something that we should be doing as, ideally like if you're an adult, as an adult with the awareness for what we're able to realistically give, which I think is another important point for us to discuss here. Oftentimes folks who are socialized as women or who grew up in a society being socialized as women, we absorb this expectation, this responsibility that it's our job to overextend ourselves for the love and care of other people. That's a ******* lie. That's a bunch of bullshit and it's misogyny like boiled down to its finest. So I want to encourage you if you're noticing this for yourself to practice some self-love and to practice honoring that you are allowed to set boundaries around your energy. There's a phrase that a lot of people use just in like the therapy online community that using your no protects your yes. Basically to say that when you say no to things that you don't want to do or no to things that overextend what you're willing or able to give in terms of energy and time and all of that, then it protects your ability to say yes to things that you do want to do, to people that you do want to spend time with. The reality is that we all only have a limited amount of time, emotion, energy, bandwidth, and it is simply an unrealistic expectation. We can just give, give, give, give, give, give, give. If there's something that you don't want to do, you don't have to ******* do it. And when we do this thing where we tell ourselves, yes, I do. Yes, I do. But then we don't want to. And then we have feelings of resentment. We have to take responsibility for the fact that we are the ones who are making the choice to do things that we don't want to do. And then that has turned around and bit us in the ass. And it's not that systemic oppression and like prejudice don't play a part in that because they absolutely do. But ultimately, we are the ones who are allowed to make choices for ourselves as independent and autonomous human beings. Brenda also speaks about some perfectionism tendencies and things like that. So I want to scooch again, watch some of those clips and then discuss that. Okay. And frankly, throughout my whole life, so I was always the good girl. I got called to the principal's office one time when I was like nine years old and I was bawling my eyes out. I hate being in trouble to this day. I still work on that. So I knew I was going to start talking to Christians again, and I really geared myself up for that. And I was like, all right, let's be perfect. Some of the moves I made were I looked and Googled myself and asked for every person who had a nude photo of me or a compromising photo of me of any kind to remove the photos so that people wouldn't be able to diminish me or be like, oh, look, she's just some naked girl on the internet. And this was half good and it's kicking me in the ass now, but it came from a good place because the perfectionism bit was bad for me as a person. But the intention was that I didn't want my message to not be able to be heard by Christians who are still in that culture because there were obstacles in place for them to believe that I am who I say that I am. So I didn't want to give out a message about being pro-choice or being pro-gay and have people show naked photos of me and be like, don't listen to her. Or I didn't want people to hear me curse. I didn't want to be like, **** Christianity, because that's a really good cue for a Christian person to be like, she's not a Christian. All these surface things that people stuck in conservative Christianity put value on and determine whether or not you are who you say you are. All of that said, that felt intelligent. That felt right. That felt intuitive. And I'm glad I did it that way because I made myself palatable to a lot of people who otherwise might not have been able to hear my message. However, I have now been on YouTube for like four and a half going on five years and that perfectionism and that strict, like I have to be perfect and I have to do everything perfectly has come to bite me in the ass really hard to the point that I have been finding it so difficult to just let my hair down and be who I am. I've been talking to a lot of friends about this and they've been saying, look, your content is good. I love what you're saying, but like, where are you? Okay, hold on. Pause because my cat's being really cute. Remember when mommy was in therapy and I just held you and you were so sweet. Remember that? All right, we're just going to let it ride. Let's see what happens. For what it's worth, the reason that we don't typically let her in the room when we film is because she's just very unpredictable. Okay. So the perfectionism thing, first and foremost, I want to honor and validate that it is like a shitty feeling being on the internet and having people pick apart your behavior. If you are a person who is prone to perfectionism, this is a very easy trap to fall into feeling like you can structure your content and your behavior in such a way that you can just avoid criticism altogether. It's like a very seductive trap, especially for those of us who have like the trauma surrounding like needing to be approved of. So I want to validate that. That is very real. And it is something that I have done my own work with in terms of like embracing that making content on the internet, like the nature of the beast is that you will draw negative attention from someone inevitably. Would you like to get down? I'm all covered in cat hair. Buy my merch. It's great for cat hair. Anyways. And so I do want to honor that. However, I think it's also important for us to talk about, first of all, that trauma work and that personal development in terms of like letting go of perfectionism and letting go of this need to be approved of needing to be like the good girl. That's a personal responsibility thing. This is something that on a human level, on an individual level, Brenda owns the responsibility for how that affects her and her behavior and her life. That is not the responsibility of like the internet at large to be aware of or to be responsible for the way that the internet culture is just affecting Brenda's emotions. That's, first of all, unrealistic and second of all, unfair. But second of all, I want to talk about this in the realm of interpersonal relationships because this is a very easy fallacy to get sucked into when we have a hard time with being labeled as like imperfect or with other people not approving of us or criticizing us because if we feel this need to be approved of and to be validated and to feel like the good person, having someone criticize us can feel like they're criticizing our personhood and this leads us into a behavior pattern. Typically, when someone we love, again, like on a micro, like a one-on-one level, when they criticize us or they say like, hey, wow, that really hurt me or I didn't like that or you were kind of shitty, we pull away from that because we don't like it because it's difficult for us to sit in this space of honoring that like, yes, I did in fact **** that up. And so we try to like contort the situation to be like, well, nobody's perfect. Like the Jeffree Star apology comes to mind. Am I imperfect? Am I a human? Did I **** up? Absolutely. Like it's that sort of energy, which is unhelpful because of course that's true. Of course, the nature of being a human being is to be imperfect. We all know that, but that's not what people are trying to call your attention to in a relationship when they say, hey, you really hurt my feelings or hey, I really didn't like this or hey, this was a really unsafe thing that you did and I didn't like it. What they're saying is that this behavior didn't work for me. This behavior isn't safe or this behavior isn't something that I can put up with, deal with, safely engage with in the future. And so if we want to be in a relationship, I need you to first of all address the behavior in the future moving forward, but also to hold some accountability for how that behavior in the past affected me emotionally. What I'm looking for are reparations in our relationship, in our connection with one another. I need a repair attempt here. I'm not looking for you to be labeled as a bad person because typically when someone's calling your attention to a flaw or like a bad behavior, it's because they want to continue to do relationship work with you and they want to continue to be in a relationship with you. And so usually the goal behind that is in feeling safe and having your own emotions seen and validated by the person who hurt you and seeking to repair the relationship to be stronger moving forward. However, when we have this sensitivity to criticism and things like that, which can appear for a number of different reasons, by the way, it's not only trauma. Neurodivergent folks sometimes have rejection sensitivity dysphoria. And so we can be very like, when someone criticizes or like even the perceived rejection, it's very difficult. This can show up for a bunch of different reasons. And so like, I want to honor that. However, regardless of what the source is, the work of separating behavior from personhood is so incredibly important and also a very valuable skill in hosting and having mature, emotionally intelligent, safe, long lasting relationships. And so I think this is just a good example. Like Brenda's behavior here is a good example of how that shows up for us because Brenda's audience letting Brenda know, Hey, the way that you behaved here really was not cool. And we did not like it. Is not her audience demanding that Brenda be a perfect person. Is it possible that Brenda's past pattern of like attempted perfection influenced the way that they responded to the situation? Yes, of course. Like, of course it is. However, I think it's disingenuous to assert that her audience in responding to her was saying you need to be perfect or else we don't support you because that was not the energy that I witnessed. And also just historically speaking about the quote unquote cancellation of creators. Generally, this is not what we see happening on the internet. A lot of people have spoken about how cancel culture is terrible and awful and, and everyone is losing their platforms left and right. Jimmy Snow talked about this. Jimmy Snow also did the like, how dare you try to wrench my platform out from my, in my hands because I'm such a good guy thing and also demonstrated a lot of the like, well, I can't be perfect. So I guess I'm just canceled off the internet forever thing. This is rarely what audiences are actually looking for. Typically when we talk about someone being canceled, there is a call for accountability. There is a call for drawing attention to the way that the behavior or the situation was mishandled and like openly discussing how that can be better, how it will be better in the future. And again, making this repair attempt. This was one of the other things that I wanted to call attention to in this situation. Um, just as like general education, I know that like the audience of people who are potentially fellow content creators or want to be content creators is small, but in the hope of providing people with some tools in terms of operating in a safe and somewhat healthy way on the internet, I wanted to talk about this. This is a very important thing for content creators to be aware of that the privilege that we hold in having a platform far exceeds the privilege that people as content consumers have. We have to be able to own reality and accountability for the way that our platform enables us to behave and operate differently than folks who don't have one just by nature of being an influencer, you wield influence over other people. And this is something that ideally in an ethical world is being used responsibly. And so again, I think like this general like cultural backlash against like cancel culture being like so unfair to content creators is kind of disingenuous because the reality is that first of all, no one ever really gets fully canceled. If you notice, Brenda still has 139,000 subscribers. Brenda is still regularly making content. I don't doubt that Brenda has been emotionally and financially impacted by this, but the assertion that like someone's platform can be well and truly wrenched out of their hands and completely removed from the internet. That's a fallacy. That's not real. Jamie Snow made the same comparison. People do this all the time when they get canceled on the internet. They're like, oh, woe is me. That's not a realistic expectation for someone being canceled. But also on top of that, being the person who wields the platform just enables you to a higher level of privilege than most not content creator people. And so people complaining about it as if it's this like, woe is me thing. It just, it doesn't age well. It also just doesn't do, it doesn't appropriately honor the privilege that we have in having a platform. I think it also speaks to the attitude that a lot of content creators have. Brenda spoke about this in the beginning of the video of like viewing YouTube and the platform as like a tool for disseminating information. The platform that's populated by millions of people isn't a tool. It's a community. There are real people who are here whose lives and emotions and relationships are affected by the content that's created here and by the things that they're consuming on this platform. And so it's not a tool for you to use for your own gain or benefit. It's a community and a culture that exists that ideally is going to be mutually beneficial for content creators and consumers alike. And so like, again, this is something that's very important to talk about. Oh, I keep losing my train of thought and reaching deep within the duty brain. I like when you're getting canceled and it's not something you're owed. Oh yeah. Oh my God. Thank you. The other thing about this perspective that's really important for us to talk about is that content creators are not entitled to a platform. There's a lot of privilege that comes along with being a content creator. And I think the word privilege here is very important because it is a privilege to have a platform. It's not a God-given right to just get on the internet and ******* flap your lips once a week and collect a paycheck. That's not how it works. And if we as content creators are not going to be held accountable or be willing to deal with the good and the bad that comes along with content creation and eventually position ourselves as unsafe people where we say or do something that's fucked up, we're not willing to make amends for the way that we've fucked up, then your ability to make a living off of making content on the internet may very well go away, which I think is the way that it ******* should be. No one should be allowed to just be an unsafe person and say, I still demand a paycheck. I'm still entitled to have a platform to wield influence over people, to influence this community of people and the norms here and the emotional experiences that people are having on this platform, regardless of what my behavior is. I want people to sit down and shut up and applaud. That's not how it ******* works, especially when we talk about micro-influencers, people like myself and Brenda who have platforms that are certainly not like Jenna Marbles big, like the tens of millions. Our platforms very much can be affected still in a way that negatively impacts our lives. And I think, again, that's the way that it should be. This is an important shift for us to make as content creators that, again, we're not entitled to the platform and the privilege and the influence that we have. We have to continue to earn it by demonstrating that we have our audience's best interest at heart. We're continuing to learn and grow and make an effort to be our best selves publicly on the internet. And this was another thing I wanted to talk about. I want to acknowledge that being a content creator does ******* blow. Sometimes, I'm not going to lie to you, I've had a lot of moments and breakdowns off camera about how overwhelming it is to have people critique your behavior or like, and we've talked about this on the podcast too. We've talked about how even things like me saying a word differently just because I have verbal idiosyncrasies, people will say like, oh, you're faking it. You're making it up. You're completely like a fake, fake, so fakey fake. You're making it all up for the internet. And it's like very overwhelming and confusing to be like, I just misspoke. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. It's a lot. The pressure of it can get in your head and it can **** with you and it just feels kind of suffocating sometimes. However, when you are a person who is committed to making content because you're staying in touch with your long-term, big, overarching why, it feels worth it. When you have a core message to come back to of like, this is why I make the content that I make, it makes those moments easier to deal with and it makes it a lot easier for a person to own their accountability. And we've seen creators do this again and again and again. Like, I obviously am a Jenna Marbles fan girl. Jenna Marbles did this repeatedly where she talked about how she made content on the internet because she wanted people to have a space that was fun and easy and entertaining and just like safe to be who they were. So she made fun and easy and funny content. And when she fucked it up or she did something that was hurtful, she apologized. It wasn't always like the most eloquent or perfect apology, but she did make the effort to genuinely on a human level humble herself to understand why her audience was speaking to her the way that they were. This is just a very important learning moment for people to have and I think also a key takeaway for us to have in our interpersonal relationships. It is not about being a person who never fucks it up or never makes mistakes. That's not what anyone is calling you to. However, when you are a person who hurts someone, it is very important that we be able to separate personhood from behavior and really sit with the discomfort of like, I did something that was bad. Like I did something that didn't sit right with my morals or values as a person and that ******* sucks. It doesn't feel good. I'm not, I'm not going to promise you as a therapist that like this is something you can just like, like, no, this is work that I have done with clients in therapy around how difficult it is to sit with this discomfort. It's a skill that we have to hone over time, being able to really honor that like, I didn't do the right thing here. But when we continue to grow this skill, it gets a lot easier, obviously. And then we're able to more effectively show up in our relationships and really grow this intimate connection with another person. Not even necessarily in a romantic context, by the way, I'm not talking about like romantic or sexually intimate, but like emotionally intimate, like really deeply knowing a person like a best friend, a family member, like a mother, parent, child relationship. Romantic partners also do this too. But really, truly seeing somebody in their vulnerability and allowing someone in the space to be imperfect and to **** it up and to make the effort to repair that hurt is a very like mature and necessary relationship skill. So that's why I wanted to talk about this because I wanted to encourage all of you. I know that therapy is not an accessible service for everyone. I want to honor that that's real. And so like, I'm not saying that this is only work that can be done in therapy. However, sometimes change happens in these very small moments where someone will say in a work review, like your email signature sucks, fix it. That can feel very threatening to us. Sometimes those small moments where we practice, okay, and like crying in our car after work and like really sitting with like, this is a chance for me to grow professionally or whatever. I don't know. This is a weird example, but you get what I'm saying. Practicing that growth in these small moments is sometimes the thing that adds up to the larger picture over time. Anyways, the last thing that I wanted to talk about here is the like anti-racism piece of this. I don't know to what degree Brenda's cancellation is related to explicit demonstrations of racist behavior. Like I said, I'm not fully briefed on the details of the situation. To my knowledge, the original Instagram post that was like the inciting incident for this whole kerfuffle has been edited. And so, like I said, I don't know the like very specific details and I certainly don't want to character assassinate anyone without the facts. However, I don't know that that's necessarily relevant here because the conversation that I want to have is more so about our work and not about Brenda specifically. So I want to be super clear. I'm not labeling Brenda as a racist, but because there were murmurings around the situation about doing anti-racism work, I wanted to address that on an interpersonal or like an individual level for us about how to do that work effectively and why these skills are relevant in that conversation as well. So this is a very common energy in me wanting to be like a white ally space of like, I want to be the good one. I want to be the one who does enough anti-racism work that BIPOC people view me as like one of the good ones. If that is the energy that's guiding the work that you're doing around unpacking the like systemic racism that we all have inherently absorbed, I want to encourage you to go back to the drawing board and to continue learning that, but also continue learning or listening to BIPOC voices. Keep doing that anyways, for the record, but especially in this regard, doing anti-racism work should not be guided by a desire to be viewed as like the good one. That's not helpful and it's also not very kind because the guiding force behind that work then is wanting validation for me and not wanting to do the right thing and wanting to do like the compassionate and kind and respectful and equitable thing for people who are being oppressed. So I want to encourage people to channel this same energy in that conversation because we can carry this energy in our interpersonal relationships, but also when we're doing work around systemic injustice of needing the validation for ourselves. And we all have validation wounds, like I was going to say not all of us, but like a fair amount of us have validation wounds. They're very, very common. This is very human. Again, morally neutral. It means nothing about your value as a human being to have validation wounds. However, we do still need to be responsible for the way that they impact how we interact with other human beings, either on a micro one-on-one level or on the like larger scale, how we're interacting with like social justice movements and things like that. So this is a relevant skill in that area. And I think also just like goes to inform the use of practicing these emotional regulation and emotional intelligence skills because it's not just something that impacts like one relationship, one time. It influences the way that we show up in the world broadly. So I hope that this made sense. There's a little bit of gobbledygook in here in the middle because it's raining and the cat is like in and out. And so I hope that this made sense. I want to always, but with this video, especially encourage y'all to sound off in the comments. Let me know how you feel, what you think, if you guys have anything to add in the conversation. And I also wanted to end this video on a note too, because Brenda did talk about in the video that like people have the tendency to put influencers up on a pedestal. And this is one thing that I do agree with. I think people do this a lot. I notice this energy with me sometimes and I don't like it. And so I just wanted to end this video on the note that like in the same way that we are all doing human work as individuals on ourselves to be better in our relationships, I as an influencer, I'm not a perfect person. And I want to encourage you guys to continue to feel comfortable to show up in the comments and to let me know like, hey, you fucked it up or hey, this wasn't cool or this wasn't good because I am an imperfect person. And also I've never done this before. So I don't know what I'm doing. I want to continue to channel the energy that I am like open and willing to receive your guys's feedback about accountability and being a better person and better influencer. So please keep that in mind. Even though I do my best to show up as a kind and safe person on the internet, I am also imperfect and like kind of an asshole sometimes in my own private life. And so like, you know, let's all just like practice viewing people in their full personhood, I guess. Anyways, let me know what you guys think in the comments. If you like the video, like the video, subscribe to the channel. We sometimes do stuff like this. Mostly we do like therapist react style stuff here. So I'd love to have you stay and share the video to help the channel grow and help each other grow. And I will see you guys next Saturday. And go buy some merch, by the way. Okay, thanks. Bye.