Enlightenment Is Not What You Think • Hard Lessons

Hey tribe! So, not all of you might know that for more than a decade I was a deeply devoted person to spirituality. Kind of all different practices from Indian Advaita Vedanta, the non-dualistic teachings, to Tibetan Buddhism, Dzogchen, and obviously Zen Buddhism, the Japanese traditions, and also the Westerner teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Andrew Cohen, Gangaji, like I was listening to and reading about everyone and obviously there's a story about that and also too obviously I did also practice a lot and throughout those years I also actually even taught about that. I was an instructor of meditation for a while, a kind of a spiritual teacher myself believe it or not, and it was a wild and interesting journey and through all of it, oh well, since I am naming stuff, there were also significant moments where I was learning about spirituality when I went to India and I lived in, you could say, a spiritual school for a few years in Switzerland. So again, it was a wild journey and full of a lot of discoveries and insights, but the thing is I went through various stages. You could say the first stage was the stage of recognizing that I don't have a clue what enlightenment is because all those teachings pretty much were all about enlightenment. So initially I came to, initially I thought I kind of have an idea of what enlightenment is. Then I moved on to the stage of having no clue what enlightenment is. Then I went to the stage of figuring out what it means and of course it may sound like a controversial subject or idea, but as I will share with you through this story, I actually did figure out in my belief what enlightenment, what people refer to as enlightenment like in a legit way. And after you hear the story, maybe you can decide whether it's an accurate kind of thought or not. But eventually I went to the next stage of realizing that there is that thing which you could call enlightenment. Like I see what people are talking about, even like spiritual gurus. I am pretty certain I know exactly what they're talking about and I will be going to explain it a little bit in scientific terms, I believe. But in the end, there is something to it. Like there is something that happens, like there's something legit about it, but a lot of it is also bullcrap. And in this video I am looking forward to share with you a bit about my wild journey through the pathways of enlightenment and spirituality. And I might not go as deep into the whole spiritual topic, maybe I will, but maybe that deserves another video, a different video. But we'll primarily focus on what the heck is enlightenment and why I personally think you shouldn't really give that much thought about it. Like it's not, you shouldn't be as hyped as spiritual people are about the subject of enlightenment. So all about that in this episode of the journey. So as you can see my doggo, the Grinch, that's his name, or in Lithuanian it's Grinch. He fell asleep, hopefully you didn't fall asleep from my intro, it was a bit long-winded as usual I guess. But yeah, let's get to the topic and let's get going. So one of the first stories that I'm interested to share with you is, well, first of all, I was always inspired to make a difference. I was always inspired to inspire people and I always wanted to live a significant life which would have a positive impact on other people. And long story short, that led me to become an Aikido instructor, or to choose to want to become an Aikido instructor. And after high school I moved to Switzerland, initially for three months and then for two and a half years, to study with an Aikido instructor, who was also a yoga instructor, meditation instructor, and turns out he was a spiritual guy, so you could say spiritual guru, I think, he wouldn't mind if you would call him that. And he had a long background, he traveled the whole world, lived in Japan, spent years in India, met with some of the most famous spiritual teachers alive back in the day, and some of them are still alive, like Papa G, and he was a direct student of Andrew Cohen, if you know those names, don't worry about them. So he was very knowledgeable at what he did, and I became his student and devoted to live at his school and study there all the time, until I would become an Aikido instructor. And obviously meditation, I was always interested in meditation. I used to, in my teens, as I was searching for answers, I would meet priests and monks, and I spent some time with Buddhists, and I would keep asking them questions, and I was always interested in meditation. I felt like there's something to it that will actually benefit me. And funny enough, the first time I think I caught up to meditation, caught on to meditation, was when I was watching an episode of Dragon Ball, if you don't know, it's funny that it's that way anyway, but there's a moment where he's taught meditation, the young Son Goku, and I was like, there's something to it. And I think I was like, 10, 11, next 12 years old, and probably around 10. And that's when I first tried out meditation, and I liked it. And then I started, initially I meditated by my own, and then I learned some meditations through the people I met, and books and internet, which was still developing back then, imagine that. But yeah, and eventually I met my Aikido instructor, and he, as I said, was a very spiritual guy, kind of modern too, contemporary as well, he had his own way and approach. But in one of our meetings, first meetings, we would have a weekly meeting where we would sit down and talk about life, and he would push his students to pursue their goals, which was actually a good part of the teaching. And one of the times he started talking to me about enlightenment, like if I know what that is. And it was interesting because as he was talking about it, and I was like, what, 19 years old, straight out of high school, didn't have much life experience, but he was talking to me about enlightenment. And I realized he didn't say it out loud, but I realized that he considers himself to be enlightened, that he not only knows what enlightenment is, he has experienced enlightenment. And that was kind of an awkward moment, because beforehand, I thought that enlightenment means that you become perfect. And that's a big misunderstanding. I think that's a universal misunderstanding, which hopefully has evolved, and it's not there anymore. Back in the day, it was definitely there. It's an immature understanding or perception about, belief about enlightenment, probably from the days of Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha, initial Buddha, got enlightened, people see him as perfect. And that's why they think, oh, so as soon as you become enlightened, you're perfect. And that's not the case on any level. Enlightenment is not about that. But then back in the day, I thought that, especially as a young adult, having little experience and little knowledge. And I thought, in the back of my mind, I didn't say that to him, but I was like, you think you're enlightened? And also, I had that stereotype, like, oh, only Indians can be enlightened, or only Japanese can be enlightened, or whatever. And in the back of my mind, I was like, okay, that's kind of weird. I was still open minded. But that kind of caught me off guard. I was like, does this guy think he's enlightened? Okay, that's kind of interesting. But as we moved on in our relationship, I developed a huge amount of respect for him. And I started, I listened more and more about enlightenment. And he kind of directed me to the direction of that. If I remember correctly, there was kind of that notion that unless you become enlightened, you can't really be a great human being capable of achieving, creating great change in the world. And that's bullshit. I mean, there's so many people who would never consider themselves enlightened or wouldn't be enlightened by the standards of enlightenment. But you know, they changed the world. And including some of entrepreneurs and Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, the first two names that come to my mind, and again, argument, if you would say what they changed, but you know, you can name anyone and Martin Luther King, you know, was he enlightened? I don't think that was the point. So there was kind of a faulty idea. But I think that that was kind of the the idea I got from him that I need to learn if I really want to create major impact, I need to learn and understand what enlightenment is and, and become enlightened. And then I will be like a super human being super useful. And my value to the world will increase. And that's when I went wild. You know, I went nuts. I am kind of that person. I'm like 100% or nothing. And I completely devoted myself to the to pursuing what enlightenment is. I read all the books and meditate all the time I kept asking him questions and asked him for challenges and did the challenges and, and also like all the practices that were there in the school that I learned, by the way, I'm checking if the audio is recording last video, it, it bailed on me. So I'll do that some once in a while, but just I won't say anything about it. So yeah, so so the whole few years I studied there was a lot about a lot of that was about enlightenment, a lot of conversations we had in practices. So I was all into it. And interestingly enough, again, like, keep your pants on. Let me listen to the whole story until the end before you make jump to assumptions and, and think whether this is bullcrap or not. But one day, the practices with with my instructor, he I got it. I was like, something clicked in me. And it's a long story. Again, I don't want to, I don't think I don't think it's as valuable as the main story that I'm guiding you through right now. Have you know what that means? But that whole thing means but, but that there's a huge question of like, who you are, who am I? Then this main question in spirituality, most of spiritual traditions. And when you realize who you are, and the idea is, basically, theoretically, it's like you realize you are not your body. But theoretically, if you understand it, theoretically, it's like it's, there's not much to it. Like if you think you understand that, that was one of the stages I mentioned to you. Initially, I thought enlightenment is about being perfect. And then I wasn't sure what enlightenment is. But then I realized, okay, it's about not thinking you're the body, but not thinking you're the body is not the same. The thing is, you have to you that moment, when it clicks with you, and that click is like universally described about in all pretty much spirituality, when when a person becomes quote, unquote, enlightened, that click happens that that deep, clear realization that you're not the body kind of, it's a sense of where your mind opens. And I think a lot of people have kind of that glimpse to it. And I'll talk about it more in scientific terms, like what that really is, or what I figured out it is. But that thing, it clicks with you, and you have that kind of mind expansion experience similar to drugs, but you're not on drugs. And then you don't associate yourself as the body. And if you have like a spiritual teacher, or you're smart enough yourself, he points that he points that finger at that subject, which my instructor did. And then you realize deeply like, oh, shoot, that's true. I'm not the body. You know, I'm like, like, you get the direct experience of realizing you're part of the whole or you're not even the whole you are the holder, you don't exist, like all that stuff, which spiritual books tell you about, in that moment, I got it. And it was really interesting, because kind of my mind did shift, my mind switched. And from then on, it took me a while to kind of localize myself again and get into a rhythm of life. But from then on, when I read spiritual books beforehand, I read them, and I thought I understand them. But it was all an idea. I wasn't sure I had to guess. But after that click moment, I just like all the spiritual books became so clear. So I was like, I know what these guys are talking about. It's like, I know, I know it. I've tasted that apple. And so it was really interesting experience. And it did change me to some degrees. But now the thing is, that's the other side of the thing, which I want to get to. And the thing is, I lived like that, for a while, you know, like, believing that I achieved enlightenment. And but I started to also see like, okay, enlightenment is not what I thought. It's that understanding. But the idea is that in enlightenment, you lose your ego, your ego dissolves, because you realize, kind of the theory is like that. If you don't have that click, and don't think it's so awesome, it's not as awesome as, as I think people make it. But let's, let's just talk about it in a neutral way as best as I can. So until you have that click, the individual, the world is all about you. It's all about you. It's like you are the center of your world. And even if you're altruistic, or the center of the world, it's the ego's big. But when you have the click moment, you, you realize you have a clear realization that you are not the body, your ego is just a construct. And then you have a chance to kind of dumb, dim down your, your ego, and not be self centered. And with that realization, kind of become a servant of the world. Now, the thing is, I think to a degree, it has that effect. But I spend enough time with the whole spiritual scene to also start seeing the other side of the picture. And that was, your ego doesn't disappear. It kind of gets into a different shape. And I think you can work hard to keep it low. But then also to especially if you're like a guru, if you're a spiritual teacher, people love you, people worship you, people are like, you know, especially in that culture. It's so guru focused. And it's so easy to develop that sense of, even if you don't see it, even if it's subtle. And not everyone that I met had it, I mentioned to you, I went to India, I met some spiritual monks, spiritual teachers who were officially enlightened. And that some Westerners who were officially enlightened, recognized as like human beings. And some of them were humble, you know, and everything, but they were still human. They still had the same crap. And some part of me is like, I respect them on a huge level, especially some of them, like who devoted themselves to extreme levels of servitude, like some of the monks I met in India, actually Westerners. But also to some of the monks and spiritual teachers I met in India were just, they're actually were douchebags. You know, they were self centered in a spiritual way. And actually, I will make a video and talk to tell you a story about a specific encounter with a well known spiritual teacher that I had, which is actually very interesting story, but it's for another day. But he was self centered. He was like, playing the spiritual guy, the spiritual dude, you know, he was playing the role. But then he was still human. You know, he I could see, especially now when I look back, he still had the same flaws that everyone else. It's just an idea that after you become enlightened, all of that disappears. And when I started realizing that enlightenment is not people make you think about that it is, I started, my eyes started to open up and I developed more critical thinking, especially for my martial arts journey. And I started to look back and look at the details. And I started to see a lot of ---- in the world of spirituality, enlightenment. As I said, I'll probably make a different video about the bullshit of spirituality itself. But but in terms of specifically focusing on enlightenment, like one of the probably one of the most famous enlightened Westerners dudes is Andrew Cohen. He was the also he created this famous magazine called Enlightenment Next. But yeah, so he was very famous, had a huge following until eventually, but also he turns out he was very abusive. Apparently he was disrespectful towards women. And he was just a douche. He was like, you're either with him or you're with no one. And I noticed that pattern in a lot of spiritual schools and teachings, where it's even if it's subtle, they don't say that sometimes you can feel it's us and it's them. And eventually what happened to Andrew Cohen is he was all about how the ego dissolves with enlightenment and yada, yada, yada. But eventually his top students wrote a book about him, where they also asked a psychologist or psychotherapist for help. And they identified, they shared a lot of dark stories about him, like what a douche he was. And also, the psychotherapist, I guess, professional pointed out that actually, he credited some, like narcissism and whatnot, like specific diagnosis where that guy, Andrew Cohen, he was a bit of a mental guy. And that was like a deeply respected, huge following spiritual guy, officially recognized as enlightened. So he thought he dissolved his ego, but his ego was just on a different level. There's also a story, actually my kiddo instructor, he told me that he once met one of the well-known spiritual teachers in India. And there's a specific moment where she was really giving, apparently based on him, she was giving awesome spiritual teachings. And by the end of that, somebody asked, somebody mentioned that they have a teen, a teenage girl who's like really, what's the right word? She's really like a rebel and she's not following the rules and et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And they asked her, like, what's your advice? And she suggested them to put her in a psychiatry clinic. Because that shows that if you get what enlightenment is, if you have that quick moment, you're part of your mind shifts and you get a realization that some people haven't yet had, you could say, but that's it. It doesn't make you that much of a better or smarter person, not at least in my experience. In the end, it's still all about the individual and who you are and how you are. Personally, for me, I always wanted to serve people, I always wanted to do good to the world before I had that click and after I had that click. It did help me somewhat, but not that much. Most of the work I did was beyond that with myself. The crap I had, the crap I keep working with, call it ego stuff and whatnot, that stuff is like, enlightenment doesn't take care of that or that click moment. It's all about just working with yourself constantly and never letting yourself off the hook, always realizing you'll never be perfect. You always have to be vigilant because you're always going to slip and there's nasty stuff we take culturally. We're all human beings and we have our limitations. You always have to be mindful of what you do. You always have to work with yourself. I think the dark side of that whole movement of enlightenment is because to some people, the idea that they became enlightened or that click moment makes them think that that was it. Well, now they can go wild and now they know the truth and that covers everything. That's kind of similar to martial arts. If you practice martial arts, it's that phenomenon when you have a black belt in a martial art, sometimes it gets into people's heads and they think now they're a black belt at everything, which is nonsense. No, you're only good at, you're only a black belt at throwing or breaking people's bones and stuff. Nothing else doesn't make you a better husband, doesn't make you a better business guy. All those skills have to be trained separately. And same with the notion of enlightenment. That's as much as it does. And some people spend decades to become enlightened. So last part of the video, I think I mentioned to you, I will break down the scientific part behind it, which I eventually kind of caught onto just by accident, actually. So a couple of years ago when I was living in the States, I became fascinated by a book called The Rise of Superman. And I'm not enthusiastic about the name. I keep saying that. I think it's a funny name. It's a funny name, but also I think it just doesn't do justice to the book, but the book is incredible. In short, it's about the state of flow, which is like an actual scientific state where your mind goes into a peak performance. It's kind of like being in the zone, but it's all scientifically measured and everything. It's that capacity of human beings to turn, to switch on, to switch on where the brain becomes super focused and your whole body, it's like a super focused state where you're actually in a peak state where you are much more capable than any time before or after. And you can repeat that, but anyway, long story short. Scientifically, this guy went through the journey, the writer of the book, he went through the journey to learn what that is. And it's all science-based, which is awesome. And turns out, and he wasn't even talking about enlightenment, but I just realized that's the same ----, was he turns out for the use of science, when you're in that flow state, in that peak performance state, your mind, the mind, apparently there's a brain part which helps you realize where you are, localize yourself as an individual. And it's kind of the self-centeredness aspect where if that part is dead, let's see, and that could be a mental, psychological issue. If that part is dead, then you can go mad because you don't realize that you're here, that's your body, and suddenly there's no tool to localize yourself and to identify yourself as a separate human being. That part is specifically responsible for that. And in the flow state, which is a feeling of a kind of mental consciousness, kind of expanded consciousness, an expanded consciousness state, which I talked about that. And when you're in flow state, that part temporarily turns off, it doesn't function, which means in the flow state, which is almost like a, the guy proves that it's almost like a survival state, that when your whole system, your whole organism realizes you need to have peak performance, and often people have that experience, it's not limited, otherwise you wouldn't have that enlightenment moment besides that, but it's often in the moments of life or death when the flow state happens, and because your whole system turns on to do this one thing. And through meditation, you can achieve that too. But that's it. It's only that. What I'm trying to say to you is that in the state of flow, or in the state where people think they became enlightened, temporarily it's the same state. Temporarily their brain shuts down, the part of brain which localized themselves shuts down, and you feel limitless, you feel like I am the universe, I am nothing, I'm not my body, because that part is off. That's all there is to it, in my understanding. And I'm pretty sure, I have pretty certain belief that I'm right, especially because I was in that world of the crazy belief of spirituality, and I went through that whole journey, and I met people who were on it, and now I can look back at it through having this knowledge. I think that's all there is to it. And yes, as I mentioned, you can utilize that to kind of dim down your ego for a bit, but that doesn't solve all your problems. That doesn't make you a saint. To be honest, it doesn't make you that special either. In the end, your long-term performance and how you are good as a human being, I think that's what makes you special. Not that one moment where you saw into something that most people haven't. **** that. So yeah, let's drink a sip of coffee. I guess I could continue, but I really want to make sure that whatever I say is kind of condensed, and the message would be clear enough. So I want to expand more. I'll probably make a video, an episode about spirituality, specifically the dark sides of spirituality that I said, and talked about, and went through, and even for a period of my life, spread myself. But I hope this story gives you a bit of a better glimpse into what potentially enlightenment is, and that it's not such a big deal as people make it. It's not the end-all solution. I think there's better things to spend time on, and to focus on, and to work on. And if you're on that path, I hope that that makes you think, and hopefully you'll direct the same energy you are investing into becoming enlightened, into something more useful, in my opinion. Obviously that's just my opinion. But that's why stories are great, and that's why I'm inspired to share stories with you that hopefully my lessons will be valuable to you, and you'll learn from my mistakes. And yeah, hopefully you can come to your own conclusions through my story, versus me telling you what's right and what's wrong. This is just my opinion, and just my experience. So yeah, thank you for watching. Let me know in the comments what you think about the thing. And as always, keep questioning.