Episode 21_ Moments in Advice

Welcome back to the moment podcast. I am surprisingly in a very very good mood right now considering the fact that I'm pretty sick basically yesterday morning. Well two nights ago. I went to bed and that whole day. I just decided that I wanted to have a mental breakdown. Well, you I mean you guys know how it goes. It's not like I decided I wanted to have a mental breakdown the mental breakdown kind of just came to me and I went to bed and then I woke up the next morning. I could not breathe through my nose. My throat hurts so badly. I couldn't think a full thought like I just felt so foggy. My body was tired. And on top of that I had a fever. I get a fever like maybe once a year. I was like, this is just not okay right now. I have friends flying into town on Sunday, which I'm so excited for you guys have no idea how excited I am for my friends to come to Florida and I had so much stuff to do. I was supposed to record the podcast. Well two days ago and then I was supposed to record it. Yesterday because I didn't record it two days ago and I couldn't do it. Like I could not even keep my eyes open. I was dead tired and I had to let myself just rest all day and I am not one who can usually do that because I just feel so guilty but it was weird because that whole day I was having my mental breakdown. I just wanted a break like I needed something where I could just relax and even though it feels like some days I am relaxing. I also feel like I'm constantly working and I think that this is God just telling me dude. I'm not giving you an option this time, but you're going to do nothing today and you're going to be okay with it and I took my feeling like absolute crap as such a blessing and then today I feel so much better. I woke up in the middle of the night last night with like an almost 102 fever. So that was killer. You guys know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night with a fever. Freezing cold can't move worst thing ever, but then I woke up again this morning and my fever was gone. I woke up all sweaty, which means I broke my fever, but I did get my period. So God was like, here's it all. Here's all of it all at once. So I had a migraine this morning and I took an Excedrin and I'm still super stuffy, but overall I feel so much better and capable of recording. Thank goodness because I have to record today because again, my friends come tomorrow. I'm honestly so nervous for them to come because I don't know. It's weird showing people your hometown, but it's exciting and I think it's going to be great and we're going to Universal on Monday and Tuesday. So that's going to be awesome. Anyways, I don't think you guys really care about that stuff that much. But if you do obviously stay up to date on on the Instagram and the TikTok all that stuff, but today's episode I wanted to do another moments and advice because last time I did this I got awesome feedback and I don't think I'm good at advice, but I have experienced a lot of this stuff. So I like to give my two cents and just kind of share my thoughts on it. So what I did was post on my Instagram story. I'm doing an episode on advice and what do you guys need to hear and then I took some of those responses and I wrote them down in my journal and we're just going to talk about them together because some of them are deep some of them are slightly less deep and I don't know you never know what you might need or what you can take away from this but before I get into it. I have something really cool to share with you and it's actually about micro dosing. I know that's not something that I would normally talk about but let me please let me please tell you more. I've teamed up with a company called new labs and they're the inventors of the microdose dummy. I'm not sure what side of the talk you guys are on or anything like that or what you're involved with but I've been seeing so much stuff about micro dosing to improve their quality of life and if it's not something that resonates with you or you don't have any interest in this you don't have to participate but I've just been hearing really great things. I do want to share with you this company because there's so much that I love about it. But micro dosing is commonly associated with psychedelics wellness performance and enhancement and creativity and our episode today is sponsored by microdose dummies and they are a gummy that delivers the perfect entry-level doses of THC to help you feel just the right amount of good and they're available nationwide, which is something that I do find to be really really cool and comforting about all of this in itself. I really find myself enjoying using these gummies when I'm journaling or I'm sitting down at night to like really get out of just the work element and get more into my creative mind and then of course at the end of the day I sleep like a baby. To learn more about microdosing THC just do a quick search online or go to microdose gummies.com and use code moments to get free shipping and 30% off your order. Links can be found in the show description. But again, that's microdose gummies.com code moments and listen. I just wanted to share with you guys all of that right in the beginning because I am super excited about it and it's something that I've wanted to talk about more but obviously hard to do that in this day and age, but there's my little intro. Anyways, let's go ahead and get into this advice. What to do when I don't feel like myself or when I need help finding myself. I actually have a whole episode on this and it was the second episode I've ever recorded which was also the most listened to and most downloaded episode ever. So if you're listening to this probably listen to that one, but that was back in October. And obviously a lot has happened since then a lot has a lot of time has gone on. So if you want to give that a re-listen totally go for it. Honestly, I probably should too. But we don't feel like yourself. It's one of the worst things one of the worst feelings ever trust me. I know that all too well. Because it's like you want to get back to who you are. But then it's been so long that you kind of forget who you are and one thing that I do when I find myself in this situation, which is more than I want to admit that it is. I think it's all part of the way that social media works with what I do. I'm constantly posting on social media, which means I'm also constantly scrolling through social media and I'm being sucked into different trends and different things going on. That it's super easy for me to get caught up on what's trending instead of just doing what's authentic to myself and now it's super cool because I can be super aware of when it's happening and I won't allow myself to do it. But it just causes this identity crisis sometimes and I know that that's something we all feel because we're all constantly scrolling on social media. We're all being pulled in different directions of what we should be like and what we should act like and what kind of people we should hang out with. But when you find yourself losing yourself, you have to get back into touch with the things that you love. And I mean thinking way back to your childhood and growing up and the things that you did before you were ever scrolling on social media. Get back in touch with that. And one of those things for me is doing yoga. Before I ever did social media, I was always practicing yoga and that's why now when I do find myself having identity crisis or feeling like imposter syndrome, I get back into yoga to really get back in touch with myself. And now that activity might not be yoga for you, but maybe it's dance or maybe it's riding your bike or skateboarding or hanging out with your younger siblings. Do more of that and you'll find yourself getting back in touch with yourself. And if you feel like you don't have any of those things that you love, I want you to try more new things. Alone. Spend more time with yourself when you feel like you're losing yourself. And I know that this can be a super hard thing to do because you almost don't want to be alone when you don't really know who you are, but it's one of the most powerful things that you can do. So take that. Take that advice. Those are probably my top two when it comes to that. But also just know that you are an ever-changing human and you are going to change. Your personality is going to change. You're growing up and that's okay. Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. And that you're doing it naturally. Not to please someone else. The next one is how do I change my perspective? And I wasn't really going to answer this one because I mean you guys know I kind of talk about this all the time and how it is the most powerful thing, but it really got me thinking back to when did I first change my perspective? When did I really really get in touch with this other set of thoughts, this mindfulness? And it brought me all the way back to when I first started doing my yoga teaching training when I was 13. So if you guys don't know, I grew up pretty Christian. I still am Christian, but when I did my yoga teaching training, it was a 200-hour course. So I was constantly learning about yoga for 200 hours and they teach a lot about Hinduism because Hinduism is something that's very aligned with the practice of yoga. And at first when I was first learning about it, I was like, what is this? Like why would I learn about a different religion when I already have mine and Jesus this, Jesus that, and I was just super just closed-minded towards learning about a different religion. But obviously for my training, I was quizzed and tested and I had to learn about Hinduism and as that training went on, it was seven months long. I was 13 at the time. So it's really hard to have an open mind at 13. I was young. I was naive. I didn't know any better. But it ultimately came to the realization that Hinduism is beautiful. There's so much beauty in different cultures and I was absolutely fascinated by Hinduism and everything that I learned about it. And I think that that was the first moment that my mind really opened and I was able to, instead of view Hinduism as something that I don't want to know about it. I don't really care to, wow, I might not believe in this religion, but I find it fascinating and intriguing and it doesn't hurt me at all to know more about it. And I think that that made me capable of changing my whole perspective on the world. It's like we don't have to be closed-minded. We can be open-minded. We have the power to control our own thoughts and the way that we see things and the way that we react to things and treat things and yeah, so I don't know exactly where I was going with that, but the way to change your perspective is to be open-minded and be willing to learn more. And even if you have to force yourself to learn more to fully understand it, do that. But you have so much more power than you realize that you have. I think a lot of us will say, well, like I don't get to choose why I think like this because I did that for a long time. But when you realize that you can, you can be shipped a lot because perspective really is everything. If 10 good things happen in a day and one terrible thing happens in a day, you could choose to focus on the one terrible thing and talk about how bad your day was or you can choose to focus on those 10 good things and vice versa. If 10 bad things happen in a day and one good thing happens, you can focus on the good thing. I promise you that. And it's on you if you don't. I mean, look at it how I was talking about yesterday. I hated how much I was sick. I had so much stuff to do. I could have focused on the fact that I wasn't able to get anything done. But instead I chose to focus on how much of a blessing it was and how much it benefited me mentally and physically to finally get caught up on reps and actually relax for once, even though I felt like total ----. Excuse my language, but seriously. The power is in your hand. The ball is in your court. You get to choose what you focus on. So simply just start by opening your mind. The next one is dealing with stress. Guys, I'm still working on this one just as much. So I don't really know how good my advice here is but be willing to take that time for yourself because I think that if I had been willing to focus on the rest by myself and taking time for myself, I wouldn't have gotten sick. But at some point God or the universe was just like here. You have to get sick because you're not doing it for yourself. But I think that when it comes to being stressed, you have to make sure that you're taking time to do the things that you actually enjoy because if you're only doing things that stress you out and you're constantly overwhelming yourself, you're not going to have the motivation to finish those things. You need breaks. You need a pause. And that's kind of how that's all I got on dealing with stress. But if you guys have more, please feel free to share with me because I am a stressed little human being all the time. And I've kind of made it one of my personality traits, which is something I'm working on changing because when you classify yourself as something obviously, that's what you're going to be and I've talked about this in other episodes, but I'll like call myself irresponsible or always stressed all the time and my therapist would be like, dude, well, if you keep identifying with it, you're going to keep feeling it like, oh crap, you're right. Anyways, moving on. The next one is how to deal with being left out. So I've felt this before one too many times in my life. It's not a fun thing to feel or to go through but here's how I see it. If there's people who don't want you around, that is their loss. It's not yours and you get to take this time to really reevaluate who it is that you're spending your time with and who you're keeping close to you and also give yourself a chance to get closer with yourself. Discover more about yourself so that you can discover who you actually want around you and obviously, it's easier said than done. Nobody wants to feel unwanted or like people don't want you around but it really just is an opportunity for you to figure out all of those things and become really aware that it is not your loss. You don't want people around you who don't want you around and I know it's a hard pill to swallow but that's all I got on that because there's no like there's no loopholes. It really just is that simple and it's hard to accept it. I every time I've been in that situation. It gets harder every time but once I do finally accept it, I find a whole lot of healing and a whole lot of growth and a whole lot of new awesome friends who actually care about me and this kind of leads into the next one. Not really sort of how do I love people that make me feel unlovable? This one was really deep and I almost didn't write it down because I didn't really know how to answer it but when when someone makes you feel unlovable, I think that the best thing that you can do is just love them and by that I don't mean like spend all your time trying to make them love you but I mean love them in all of their healing because anyone who makes me feel unlovable is someone who's still healing on their own and they haven't found a way to fully love themselves. So they just treat people that same hatred that they have for themselves. They put out onto other people and it's really sad. Honestly, you just have to learn to sympathize for the people who make you feel that way because they're healing and they're hurting and they're not going to realize it. So it's not really something you can just bring up and be like you're hurting. That's why you're hurting me. People who are going through that aren't aware of that at the time, so just be patient with them and and don't lose yourself trying to love them. Just be there for them and if it gets unbearable and you're being treated really wrong, just walk away from it because again, you don't you don't deserve people who make you feel that way. And the next one is how to deal with feeling like everyone hates you. Oh, I know this feeling. I know this feeling and it freaking sucks. But here's the thing. I promise no one hates you. We get so in our heads and we do this to ourselves and we think that people are actually paying attention to us. But no one is literally no one is I mean think about the times that you're out in public. Do you ever see someone and you're like, I do not like that person. I hate them blah blah blah and you're paying attention to everyone else because I know for me that's not the case when I'm out in public. I'm constantly just worried about what people think of me what I look like how I'm acting. I'm really only paying attention to myself and it just kind of puts things into perspective. No one's really paying attention to you. I promise and everyone doesn't hate you because you're awesome and you are made to be the way that you are and there are people out there who need your energy and I promise everyone doesn't hate you. And I know that that's not really advice. It's more just like telling you but I just needed to remind you that everyone does not hate you, but I know this feeling and I think the one thing to take away from this is just to understand that in more cases than not no one's paying attention to you, which means they don't hate you and I mean that in a good way not a bad way not like no one cares about you. You guys get what I'm saying. I'm not going to elaborate on that one anymore. The next one is how to like good things happen without self-sabotage. So this is interesting because I was actually two nights ago that night. I was not feeling well mentally was like super mentally exhausted and had that breakdown. I was watching this Renee Brown video on Netflix. It was called the call to courage. If you haven't watched it. I literally love her with my whole entire heart and I am manifesting that one day I'm going to meet her and we're going to share like the coolest things because she has an older audience and it's not like she talks about mental health but she talks a lot about vulnerability and shame and how courageous it is how brave it is and that's something I've always kind of aligned with when it comes to talking to my platform because I talked about the stuff that no one wants to talk about because it's hard to talk about and I don't know. I just think we have this really there could be a really cool connection. There's a lot of cool stuff. We could do that got the younger audience older anyways manifesting one day I meet her and we create something awesome, but moving on. in in this talks about how as humans we are so much more likely to sit in our discomfort and sit in our pain because we're so afraid to accept and the reason that we're so afraid to accept joy is because we're so worried that something is going to come rip that door away from us. It's like the saying it's too good to be true right when everything seems to be working out something always comes in and ruins it. So we're afraid to sit in it because we don't want to feel because we don't want it to be taken away and this is a hard thing for me to understand because no one wants to admit that this is true. But it is we all self-sabotage. We take away our own happiness in so many cases because we're like, oh, I'm not supposed to be this happy. But we should we should allow ourselves to be happy and this isn't really advice again. This is me. Just kind of telling you that it's okay to be happy. It's okay to be content. It's okay to feel like things are actually working out in your favor because there's a lot of power in that when you do when you do finally accept joy and happiness more and again, this goes into perspective. You could choose to focus on what isn't going right or you can choose to focus on what is going right and then you find a lot more joy and a lot more happiness and the self-sabotaging just kind of deletes itself slowly. Because instead of focusing on what's not working and self-sabotaging focusing on what is working and you're self-building. I don't know self-building is not a thing. I don't know what I was going for but you get the point next one. How to accept weight gain. I felt this one pretty happy because growing up. I don't know if you guys know this but in high school, I was like a total twit. And all of my childhood. I was just really really skinny. Like I had the metabolism of I don't even know I could eat 10 million things and it would just go right through me. So I always just grew up like I never thought anything about it. I didn't really pay attention to body image or what I ate because I just naturally was very very very small. And I got to college and I was I started gaining weight and then that that that cycle where I actually paid attention to my body image kind of started and it was hard for me because people on TikTok when I got to Hawaii would comment on it and now it's the first time I really noticed it and it is not easy to have people commenting on weight gain and I acted like it was like I pretended that the comments didn't affect me and it's not like they affect me physically. I still ate what I wanted. I believe in having a good relationship with food and eating what makes you happy. And that never changed physically but mentally I could not look at myself in the mirror and I just I just tried not to think about it. But I was always thinking about it. I cared about what I looked like too much and I think the one thing that really helped me get over it was truly just understanding this kind of goes back to one of the other things that I talked about but no one's really paying attention to you. The people who would make comments about my weight on TikTok. They didn't think about it again. They commented it and then went on with their day. So it wasn't worth my energy to sit there and think about their comments all day long. And also just understanding that I'm going to go through and I'm going to be different versions of myself at different points in my life and that means I'm going to look different and I'm going to feel different and it's all part of the process and it's all part of the journey and anyone who has an issue with that or has something to say about that doesn't deserve any room in my life. And that's sad on that because you know what food is good and food is beautiful and you deserve to eat what you and I feel very very strong about that topic. Next one. Coping with jealousy. I struggled a lot with jealousy back in high school because I mean, you know how high school is especially if you're in high school. Everyone is jealous of someone. I always wanted to look like someone else. I wanted to be more popular like the boys that other people got and as I got older, I learned to turn jealousy into inspiration and just kind of delete the word jealous from my mind. It's not a word. I think anymore. It's not something I associate with. I just look at it as inspiration. For example, if I'm in a yoga class and I see someone able to do all the things that I used to be able to do past version of me would be jealous that they could do that and I would be angry not a good person more at myself that I couldn't do those things anymore. But now if I see someone doing what I used to be able to do in a yoga class, I'm like, wow, okay, if I get back on track and I stay into this, maybe I'll be able to do that again one day. It's so beautiful that that person can and when I started thinking like that, I just kind of noticed jealousy disappear and this is also I notice I found myself not comparing anymore. I wouldn't really compare what someone had versus what I had because I understood that we're all meant to have different things. We're all built to be different people. We can't have everything. We're not supposed to have everything. One one person's beauty never takes away from your own beauty and that's something that I want you to remember. The next one is getting out of your own head and I think that for this one, you just have to become aware that you are not your thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You are not the voice in your head telling you one thing or another. You're not a body. You are simply a soul. And I noticed that when I tell myself that more I can get out from that voice in my head a little bit. I can escape from it more. I've also noticed one thing that I do when I am really in my head is I go do something active whether it's like going for a walk or calling someone that I love or going to yoga or just doing something to keep me busy going swimming or just doing anything where you're kind of forcing out of your own head and I I like to socialize sometimes when I'm in my head because honestly not a huge socializer anymore besides with the people that I'm close to but when I am in my head, I escape my myself by being with people and I think that's something that could help a lot of people. So do that just call someone. Erase those negative thoughts for a second. The next one is how to start journaling and I love this one because I've just recently got into journaling and I've also noticed that sometimes it's harder for me to journal than other times. And I've had to kind of accept that I'm going to go through different phases where sometimes I'm not made to be journaling and sometimes I am. And that's okay. I think for a little while in there once I did start getting consistent with journaling if I wouldn't have any journal I get upset with myself, but it's going to come in waves. But the way I would say to start is just when you feel like writing especially if that voice that is in your head is really loud another thing to get another way to get out of your head is to take what's in your head write it on paper and not like rip it up physically but like mentally rip it up. Okay, you were in your head and now you're not and you don't have to write on a pen and paper. You can type in your notes of your phone too and just ease into it take your time. You don't have to be a professional writer to be a journal not to be a journal to have a journal anyways next one. The next one is how to be more authentic in friendships and relationships and this one was hard for me when I didn't really know myself because I would just kind of adapt to the people that I was around. So it's not that I was like faking who I was. I just could never really fully feel like myself in new friendships and new relationships, but I think the key to being authentic in these is to really be authentic with yourself and to really find yourself and figure yourself out. And don't lose your personality trying to align with someone else's if your personalities don't align, that's okay. There's there's people out there who you will align with and the next one is how to talk to boys. I just think this one's funny because I don't know how I don't know. I don't really have advice to tell you on this one. I think that my thing would be to build a friendship before you build a relationship and that's something I never really understood because growing up was like if you liked a boy you started talking to them and then you were just talking and then blah blah blah the rest is history. But I've learned that a lot of the people that I've really talked to in my life like on a more serious note are people that I built friendships with before I focused on building a relationship with them. So I think that that's a key just build the friendship just be friends with someone before you try to be romantic with someone. But other than that, I don't really have too much advice on this because I I don't know. On another note. I have one more thing that I want to share with you guys and I talked about this on last week episode at last week's episode. Sorry, my brain's not working but I'm gonna tell you guys about apostrophe. It's very relatable to me right now because since I just got my period you already know my skin is breaking out and it's kind of the worst possible time to be breaking out because again, my friends are coming into town and I want to feel good. I want to look good, even though I know it doesn't matter. I've been taking care of my skin with apostrophe and it has been helping apostrophe is a prescription skincare company that offers science-backed oral and topical medications that are clinically proven to help clear your acne. And what apostrophe does is connect you with a board-certified dermatologist who will create a unique personalized treatment plan that is perfectly tailored to your unique skin. All you have to do is fill out apostrophes online quiz about your skin goals and medical history. Then all you'll do is just snap a few selfies and your dermatologist will create your customized treatment plan. They also treat all types of acne, which is super cool. You got hormonal acne and facial acne. They'll treat chest acne, back acne and even acne on your butt. Like seriously from head to toe. I wanted to try new skincare because I've always tried different things, but it always felt weird to me that one thing could work for everybody. So something I love about apostrophe is that you had a real dermatologist and it was custom-created for your own skin type. It also comes with a cute little postcard and stickers to personalize your bottle and I love stickers. You guys know that about me. So I love it and I have a special deal for you guys. You can save $15 off your first visit with an apostrophe provider at apostrophe.com slash moments when you use our code moments. This code is only available to our listeners, which is super cool to get started. Just go to apostrophe.com slash moments and click begin visit then use our code moments at sign up and you'll get your first visit for only $5. That's A-P-O-S-T-R-O-P-H-E dot com slash moments and use that code moments to get your dermatologist crafted treatment plan for $5 and we thank apostrophe for sponsoring this podcast. Yes, we do. I'm so grateful and so excited to share that with you guys because it's actually been a game changer for my skin and it's been very cool to find something that actually feels like it's working. But anyways, I'm going to do one more piece of advice and I'm going to end this episode because I'm not feeling great, but next week I'm going to do another episode on advice. So if you guys have more things, I'll put another box on my Instagram story or a comment on the podcast Instagram and you guys can comment what you want me to talk about and I will be happy to do so. But this last one's kind of sad. Break up advice, especially if it was blindsided. So I know this hurts and I know that everything I'm going to say here, you've probably heard a million times or don't want to hear it again, but you are unique. You're one of a kind and if someone proves to you that they don't want you in their life, you should take that as a beautiful sign to know that there is someone else out there that you are more aligned with and understand that this is an opportunity for you to heal yourself and to work on yourself and to truly do what you love. If someone makes you feel unwanted and undeserved, you should know that that's not what you deserve. You deserve better. You deserve someone who is going to make you feel like they won the lottery because they did. You are special and you are made for someone and I know that that probably doesn't make it easier in this moment, but I just need you to know that it is a sign from God or it is a sign from the universe or a sign from whoever you believe in. That there is something better for you and you deserve more than someone who makes you feel that way. I'll go more into this one in the next episode because I kind of want to think about it a little bit more but that's what comes to me when I first think about it. So that's that but I love you guys and I'm so grateful for you guys and I am so glad that we have this podcast to stay connected because you guys are freaking awesome. And this is perfect timing right now because it just started raining outside. I'm not sure if you can hear it, but if you can I'm going to go dance in the rain probably feel like that will be good for my sickness, but I love you so much. Don't forget to follow rate subscribe do whatever it is that you do with podcast download all the episodes. You guys are awesome. I love you. I keep saying that but I do and I will talk to you guys next week. Goodbye.