Jordan Peterson's Powerful Life Advice Will Change Your Future

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let's step one step backwards. The first question might be why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like so you don't suffer any more stupidly than you have to and Maybe so others don't have to either. It's something like that. You know, like there's a real injunction at the bottom of it It's not some casual self-help doctrine. It's that if you don't organize yourself properly You'll pay for it and in a big way and so will the people around you know, and you could say well I don't care about that, but that's actually not true You actually do care about that because if you're in pain you will care about it And so you do care about it, even if it's just that negative way, you know It's very rare that you can find someone who's in excruciating pain who would ever say Well, it would be no better if I was out of this Sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn't exist along with it It's incontrovertible So you get your act together so that there isn't any more stupid pain around you than necessary Well, so then the question might be well How would you go about getting your act together and the answer to that and this is a phenomenological idea, too It's something like look around for something that bothers you and see if you can fix it. You can do this in a room It's quite fun to do it Just when you're sitting in a room like a room maybe your bedroom you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it Think okay if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better What would I have to do and you have to ask yourself that right? It's not a command It's like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that you know You like there's a stack of papers over there That's kind of bugging you and you know that maybe a little order there would be a good thing and you know You haven't there's some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven't attended to for like six months and the room would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the cables weren't all tangled up the same way and like if you if you Allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at that moment There'll be all sorts of things that'll pop out in it that you could just fix And you know, I might say well if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy This easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to organize your room You think well, is that psychotherapy and the answer is well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being And I would say start where you can start, you know If something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair that you could repair Then hey fix it you fix a hundred things like that Your life will be a lot different You know, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get up you brush your teeth. You have your breakfast, you know, you have your routines that you go through every day Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life and people think well, they're mundane. I don't need to pay attention to them It's like no. No, that's exactly wrong the things you do every day Those are the most important things you do Hands down. All you have to do is do the arithmetic you figure it out right away, so a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being and there's a lot less rubbish and there's a lot less rubbish around and a lot fewer traps for you to step into and so that's in keeping with Jung's idea about erasing the dis once you've got your mind and your emotions together and once you're acting that out then you can Extend what you're willing to consider yourself and start fixing up the things That are part of your broader extent now, sometimes you don't know how to do that so you might say imagine you're walking down Bloor street and There's this guy who's like alcoholic and schizophrenic and has been on the streets for 10 years He sort of stumbled towards you and you know incoherently mutters something. That's a problem And it would be good if you could fix it, but you haven't got a clue about how to fix that You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix because if you muck about in that Not only is it unlikely that you'll help that person. It's very likely that you'll get hurt yourself so, you know just because while you're Experiencing things announce themselves as in need of repair Doesn't mean that it's you right then and there that should repair them. You have to have some humility You know, you don't walk up to a helicopter that isn't working and just start tinkering away with it You have to stay within your domain of competence, but most of the time if people look at their lives you know It's very interesting thing to do I like the I like the idea of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat You know go back to where you live and sit down and think okay I'm going to make this place better for half an hour. What should I do? You have to ask and Things will just pop up like mad and it's partly because your mind is a very strange thing as soon as you give it a name A genuine aim it'll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim That that's actually how you see to begin with and so if you set it a task especially you have to be genuine about it, which is why you have to bring your Thoughts and emotions together and then you have to get them in your body So you're acting consistently you have to be genuine about the aim but once you aim the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange and and It's it's it's technically true You know the best example of that you have all seen this video where you Watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team and Well, you're doing that a gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and you don't see it It's like you know If you thought about that experiment for about five years that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that Man if you can get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university That would be a good one. You see what you aim at and so because one Inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at Right it what you aim at determines the way the world manifests itself to you And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way One thing to ask is are you aiming at the right thing now? You know i'm not trying to reduce everybody's problems to An improper aim people get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons, you know, they get sick. They have accidents There's a random element to being that's for sure But and so you don't want to take anything even that particular phrase too far You want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it's still a great thing to ask What's the difference between the successful and the unsuccessful? the successful sacrifice Things get better as the successful practice their sacrifices The questions become increasingly precise and simultaneously Broader, what's the greatest possible sacrifice for the greatest possible good? And the answers become increasingly deeper and profound You can conjure up a representation of yourself You can conjure up a variety of potential representations of yourself into the in the future You can lay out how those future representations of yourself are likely to prevail or fail You can call the potential use in the future that will fail and then you can embody the ones that will succeed You do that well simultaneously Conjuring up a representation of your current state and determining for yourself Because of your undue suffering which elements of your pathetic being need to be given up so that you can move forward into that future and the goal What is it that you're aiming at with that work and that sacrifice? That's the ultimate question It's the question I was trying to address in that writing. What is it that you're trying to do? Were you trying to improve the future? We believe that the future can be improved. We believe that it can be improved as a consequence of our sacrificial work And so once again, what are the limitations? What are the limits to that? What are the necessary limits to that? I would say we don't know I would say as well that that's actually something That the entire corpus of biblical stories is trying desperately to articulate to figure out and articulate right, we We conjured up this remarkable idea the future exists. We can see it even though it's only potential We can adjust our behavior in the present in order to maximize our probability of success in the future. How best to do that? Well, the idea is something like Don't hesitate to offer the ultimate sacrifice If you want the future to turn out ultimately well now obviously that Idea is clothed in metaphysical Speculation and religious imagery, but it still remains an intensely practical issue right What is it that you could? Contract for let's say if you were willing to give up everything about you that's weak and unworthy then you were talking about negotiation Right and you said well don't you said something like don't people who feel good about themselves Aren't they able to negotiate better and negotiation is actually a practical issue to some degree Like the first thing is that you have to figure out what you want because you were saying well, it's not merely rational It's like yeah. Yeah, that's for sure. You have to bargain from a position of authority. Let's say not power Authority is a better word But you don't have authority unless you know what you're talking about and unless you can bring And you can't say no unless you've set yourself up with alternatives So when you go to your boss and you negotiate for a raise You need to have this sort of cv that enables you to go find another job And you have to have your cv prepared and you have to have looked for another job And you have to be able to get one because then you can go in there and say Um, i'm not as productive as I could be at my current level of remuneration It's not reflective of what i'm able to do And I want this and this is what will happen if you give me this this will be the good things that will happen And what do you think of that and the person is going to know even by the way that you hold yourself While you're having the discussion whether or not you're someone with options and you can't fake that Well, you can but it's not helpful. Like it just doesn't work for very many iterations You have to it's it's it's not rational. You're preparing yourself for battle That's what you're doing and you can't be weak when you prefer prepare yourself for battle because if the person says no I'm not giving you a raise which is exactly what they should say because what are they going to do just like sprinkle the money around You need to be able to say okay, then there will be consequences That you don't like And that's what it means to say no to someone no means if you continue to push this Things will happen that you don't like now in that case It'll be all depart and take my talents with me and if they don't care well, then you're in the wrong business or you don't have any talents to begin with right which is so In order to negotiate properly you have to put yourself in a position where you can You can push back as hard as you're going to be pushed on and that means you have to open your you have to open up your space of available options because otherwise the person says no and That's it. You're done Well, you'll lose them It's it's as straightforward as that now with regards to the self-esteem part is Practice on small things because you build the skills forget about the self-esteem It isn't about being confident or feeling confident or any of that. It's about knowing bloody Well how to negotiate start with small things You know So you'll notice that there are things in your relationships in particular that aren't the way you want them to be And that you could see how could be improved. It's like figure out how they can be improved negotiate with your partner Make the incremental improvement keep doing that you'll get better and better at it And then you'll be able to go out and have a harder negotiation in the world so You know people have told me many times that When they listen to me talk They're hearing things that they already know knew but didn't know how to say it's something like that And this is one of those things that I think is exactly like that I mean, I think it's at the very core of our moral knowledge and which is our behavioral knowledge and our perceptual knowledge I mean, let's get this straight moral knowledge is no trivial matter It's knowledge about how it is that you orient yourself in the world. There's no more profoundly necessary form of knowledge Well, it's predicated on on something that's exactly like this. We know that we have to make sacrifices We know that we have to aim at what's good So then why isn't that we don't aim at what's best and make the sacrifices that are necessary in order to bring that into play? I think It seems to me that in some sense that's self-evident The question is why we don't do it But there's answers to that too already in the material that we've covered life is hard and it hurts people It's rife with limitation And some of it's arbitrary and it's no wonder And some of it's unjust and some of it's worse some of it's malevolent, which is even worse and something I haven't talked about at all in this lecture It's not surprising that that combination of vicissitude can turn people against being But I think even when that happens and even when people have the kind of history that if they Revealed to you you would say well, it's no wonder you turned out that way The people who turn out that way still know that it's wrong They still know that however deep their own suffering however arbitrary their own suffering However much that's caused by the malevolence of others as well as the tragedy of existence That that does not in any way justify their turning away from the good And I believe everyone knows that To what end should you devote your life? It's a good question That's the question of the meaning of life and you know people need meaning in their lives because their lives are difficult Maybe you think no life isn't that hard. It's like Not only is it that hard. It's even harder than you think You're going to be tested. That's for sure. And if you have a sustaining meaning then There's there's well Nietzsche said himself He who has a why can bear any how? Why would you look in the darkest places because in the darkest places you could find what still shines If it can shine in the darkest places, then you know, it's a real light And so you look at things you don't want to look at You have to look at the things you don't want to look at. Well, why do meaningful things? Well, first of all, what is meaning? But then why do meaningful things and the answer is well because life is suffering and malevolence It's ineradicable at its core It's like that will take you out Make no mistake about it you need something to You need to be armed with virtue in order to For that not to turn into hell Really? You really need that and it isn't just your hell that's bad enough that can be really bad Especially when you're contributing to it, right because then not only are you suffering but you know You're the agent that's producing the suffering and then maybe that's not just for you. It's like you're taking out your family If you're really good at it, you're taking out large swaths of your community. That's hell It's like and that's real and no one with any sense and any experience has any doubt that that's real And then they all can easily think of how even though it's already bad you could make it way worse Everyone knows that it's what's the bulwark against that? nobility of purpose That's it You have that then you can then then you have something to set against the suffering and the malevolence And you need it isn't optional. That's not optional. You cannot live without it. No, it's not optional, right? Well, that's why it's such a deep instinct, right? It's an instinct meaning it's the instinct of life My life is meaningless. It's the spirit has gone out of you It's like well me but and you know modern people it's part of this process of criticism We've criticized the idea of meaning so much that we don't really believe in it anymore It's like well, that's fine. You cannot believe it but try living without it and see how far you get with that You need a reason to get out of bed on a terrible day Okay, what's that reason going to be? Well, let's think it through You know people who can get out of bed on a terrible day. Do you admire them? Yes What are those people like are they taking responsibility for themselves? Definitely do they have excess capacity so they're taking responsibility for other people. Yeah, are they doing difficult things? Yes Obviously The more you respect them the more you also see that they're doing difficult things and doing them Well, so what does that mean do some difficult things? Do them well So pick up your goddamn burden and and walk up the hill Yep, I get it and people do get it and it's not surprising because that is the end that's the alternative to hell except the burdensome condition of suffering Voluntarily and you transcend it It's like you've got a problem with the world. Hey, man No wonder you have a problem with the world like the world is a pretty rough place and it could use some work It's like have you done all your work? The answer to that is no then I would say Put in order what you can put in order. It's like well, you have a problem. Okay, what's the problem? What are its constituent elements? What are the smallest implementable steps that we could take to start to to address the problem Implement the best plan that you have at hand That's it. You'll learn it won't be it won't be the right plan. It doesn't matter You'll learn how implementing that plan you'll learn a whole bunch and then the next plan you make will be better Implement the best plan you have at hand Imagine that you are or were in a bad relationship And maybe you weren't that happy about it. But you know, it was better than no relationship at all And then the person that you're in a relationship betrayed you and maybe they did that because you actually weren't that happy with the relationship anyways Maybe they did that because you're a little bit naive Or maybe they did that because you're a little bit too easy to get along with and as a consequence a little bit on the boring side And so when they first leave you it's a catastrophe because your world falls apart But when your world falls apart, you're somewhere new It's possible to learn something new in that place So you might learn for example that you should be a little sharper the next time that you go out with someone Or you should be a little bit more careful About picking up on clues that your partner's bored with you or that maybe you should stop associating with lying psychopaths and your life would be a lot more positive and stop thinking that you have the capacity to Redeem somebody that is not after redemption in the least And what that means now and then is that when you fall into the belly of a whale and you're swallowed up by something that lurks underneath That you can come out the other side transformed and that's actually how people learn Every time you learn something you learn because something you did didn't work and that exposes you to the part of the world that you don't Understand every time you're exposed to part of the world that you don't understand you have the possibility Of rebuilding the structures that you use to interpret the world That's often why it's more important to notice that you're wrong than it is to prove that you're right One of the things that you're supposed to learn in university is precisely that It might be useful to listen to people that annoy you on the off chance that they know something that if they tell you You can use instead of dying Talking to people who agree with what you say is like walking around in a desert You already know everything that they say The reason you're associating with them in that situation is so that they never say anything that challenges you because you're afraid that if you go Outside of what you understand that you won't be able to tolerate the chaos But it isn't the case people have an unbelievable capacity to face and overcome things They don't understand and not only that that's essentially what gives life its meaning the buddhists say life is suffering And you think well if that's the case Why bother with it? And people do ask that question and they ask it in ways that result in their own destruction and worse in the destruction of others So for example people who become particularly cruel particularly in a genocidal manner Are more than willing to dispense with as many human beings as they can possibly train their sights on because they're so disgusted by the nature Of human limitation that they'd rather eradicate it And lots of people become suicidal because they can't bear the conditions of their own existence And suffering is real and it's inescapable So the question is what do you do about it? You notice in your own life and you can do this by watching your own life. I often ask my clients to do this say look Watch your life for a week And pretend you don't know who you are because you don't know who you are at all What you understand most about yourself are the arbitrary presuppositions that you use to hem yourself in and you act as if those presuppositions are true so that The revelation of the full nature of your character won't terrify you People hide in their own boxes and it's not surprising But it's not a good idea because life is too hard to hide in a box. You can't manage it if you do that If you watch yourself for a week, you'll see certain things You'll see some of the time that you're resentful and annoyed and those are times when you're either taking advantage of yourself Or you're thinking improperly Some of the time you'll be bored In which case you're either undisciplined or you're probably pursuing something. You don't want to pursue And some of the time you'll actually be engaged in life And the times that you're engaged in life, you won't notice that you're there Right the distinction between subject and object disappears when you're engaged in something that you find meaningful The purpose of life as far as I can tell from studying mythology and from studying psychology for decades Is to find a mode of being that's so meaningful that the fact that life is suffering is no longer relevant Or maybe that it's even acceptable And I would say as well that people know when they're doing that You know when you're doing that in part because you're no longer resentful you think geez I could do this forever Right. There's a timelessness that's associated with that state of being from a mythological perspective That's equivalent to brief habitation of the kingdom of god That's the place where you are That's so meaningful that it enables you to bear the harsh preconditions of life without becoming resentful bitter or cruel And there's nothing that you can pursue in your life that will be half as useful as that Don't remain in stasis. It's you'll be you get old way way faster than you think Time ticks away man. Get at it. Get out there in the world. Have your adventure get the hell out there do something fail Fail while you're trying then you'll learn why you failed then you won't have to fail again. It's like aim at something and Progress towards it and you know be willing to change your aim because what the hell do you know? But aim at something and then at least you're oriented And you have to aim at something that you believe would be worth trying So yeah, get up get at it man. Don't waste time