5 Limiting Beliefs that can Improve Our Lives

Today I'm going to give you five limiting beliefs that can actually help you in your life. So stay with me. So of course in other videos I've talked about the work we can do to remove our limiting beliefs. Some of the core beliefs even that are there that determine the course of our lives, our emotional well-being, our behaviors and everything else. So they're essentially important. This is kind of a weird video but it's also true that you can have limiting beliefs that can be helpful and really what I'm talking about here is that these beliefs instill a kind of humility within us that can be very very helpful to become humble with these beliefs when we when we carry them. So it can feel like a bit of a knock or it can feel like these beliefs are telling you you can't do something but you can make up your mind as to whether or not these are going to be helpful or not. But I think a lot of us do carry the opposite to these beliefs. So let's jump into the first one here to to see what we mean by limiting beliefs that can be helpful. And the first one the first limiting belief I think that can be helpful is the belief that you cannot predict the future. So much of our problems in life come from this assumption that doesn't go question that I can predict the future especially if we have any type of anxiety. Because anxiety is always future oriented. It's focused depression more so on the past and bringing the past into our life. But anxiety is all about some catastrophe that we see on the horizon that when we have anxiety you know it typically comes out of what if that thing happens I hope that thing doesn't happen but that's only because the anxiety comes out through the rational mind and we say I hope that doesn't happen or what if that happens really what the nervous system is saying is that's going to happen. So if we realize that we cannot predict the future start to say things like well what if that doesn't happen that thing may not happen at all I can't predict the future at all and to start to see safety more in the present than in the future because typically there's not much for us in the future most of our thinking which is future oriented is destructive and unhelpful for it. So to realize I cannot actually predict the future at all and see what happens when we start to carry this belief to our anxiety. Our anxiety is going to go way down if we can instill this belief. Another aspect of this belief is I can't predict the future I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or next week or next month in my job review or the interview but also nobody else can predict the future either and this is really important I think for things like you know especially people you respect or even gurus you might watch online or anybody including someone like me a therapist nobody can predict the future so if anyone tells you this is going to happen so watch out for that to be a little bit skeptical of that too. I've heard many people talk to experts and consultants and coaches and therapists and everything else and the therapist says you know if you continue on this track this is going to happen quite often it doesn't. So we start to question our own belief that we can predict the future but question everybody's belief it doesn't matter who they are nobody can predict the future nobody knows what's going to happen tomorrow they certainly don't know what's going to happen a week from now or a year from now. So that's the first limiting belief it's a very healthy one which again brings a little humility but it's very very healthy for us especially if we have anxiety. So the second one we're going to look at here the second limiting belief that can actually help us in our life is you cannot read other people's minds. I don't know how much emotional suffering comes from attempting or thinking we can read other people's minds. I mean when you think about it it's it's pretty out there right the idea that we can we know what's going on in the internal landscape of another person you know that person that person hates me that person dislikes me that person is jealous of me that person looks down on me. Imagine if we could actually go into their heads I think probably 99.99% of the time we would be way off in terms of what the person is thinking and feeling. So definitely in terms of the relationships we have in life it's just a bit of humility with I do not know what that person is thinking right now and I can't know. Now the closest we can know is to have an open conversation and express how we feel but really we can't read another person's mind. So it's attempt and especially in relationships I mean even in intimate relationships it's this idea that I already know what that person wants so I'm going to now give them what I think they want. Well I'm really mind reading I need to like go and try and find out what that person wants maybe before I try and give them what they want or you know not to have the other person try to mind read you to be more expressive and open about what your needs so that can be a very very helpful thing to bring in this idea that I cannot read other people's minds. The third one the third belief limiting belief that can actually help us in our life again it's a bit of a blow to our ego but it's and it brings humility with it but it is the belief that you or I we are no better than any other person you're no better than anybody else so hopefully you're not reading too much from that one but this is very important because it's it's kind of a two-way sword this one it's actually good news in this regard I'm not trying to knock your confidence with this right but the mind that looks out into the world and it finds people and it categorizes them into good enough not good enough this well I'm better than the mind that puts a person below you below itself will inevitably and it has to do this turn the tables where now you feel inferior to another person so if you find yourself feeling inferior a lot start to question where you to look at the thoughts that may be putting other people down or seeing them as less than less important or less successful or less worthy or less you know whatever it is less important any a mind that puts someone down is going to put somebody up it has to happen and variably we will feel inferiority if this is what's happening to us so what we're trying to instill here is to look beyond appearances because appearances are very deceptive in this right it's very easy to fall into this trap when we're focused on the externalities of a person to assume then that their value is well it can be categorized and we have the capacity we have the we have the the wisdom to make those calls we really don't and to sit with this idea that I'm no better than anybody else it's actually one of the best things you can do for your own self-esteem believe it or not comes with humility but it's a healthy healthy belief for us to be carrying around so that's number three now the fourth one here is very important now it's not something people typically consciously tell themselves but I do think that a lot of us carry this belief unconsciously and it is the belief the limiting belief here is that you are not a superhero I find it very interesting you know in the last few years that superhero movies have become so so successful and popular with people and I think it's because a part of us would like to see ourselves as a superhero truth is we're not superheroes and it's in accepting that there's a maturity that comes with accepting that I'm not a superhero okay I have I'm a human being and I like that about myself I like the fact that I have an awful lot of potential an awful lot of power an awful lot of strength an awful lot of creativity and ingenuity and energy but I also have a need for space a need for boundaries I need to rest I can also be very very vulnerable I also need support in my life so a lot of us I think are trying to unconsciously be a superhero of some kind we're trying to to work harder than we've ever worked before we're trying to hustle we're trying to really never fail at anything never be vulnerable never get hurt with anything it can also lead to kind of a stoicism or a kind of an indifference to kind of open up to to really what we want because we're kind of afraid of being hurt by it we think we can be the superhero but you know what we're not superheroes doesn't mean we're not powerful and very impressive and and worthy of admiration of course we are but to accept our humanity is a very it's a very important step in maturity to accept that we have you know the need to be interdependent with other people for instance so that's really important and the last one if you've watched any of my other videos you may not be surprised to hear this one with the last of these sort of limiting beliefs that can be helpful to us I think is the belief can sound like a limiting belief but it's the belief that you don't need to improve again we're kind of bombarded all the time with these things about self-improvement okay and it's a great thing that I should be improving myself all the time what I'm really advocating for here is I don't need to improve it's almost to get rid of this idea of improving myself now I'll give you an alternative to that but to improve something has become sort of synonymous with fixing something that's defective so what I prefer to do is to to look at an attitude of self-celebration for where I am right now with an openness to growth but the foundation has to be who I am right now is already valid it's already worthy of celebration so you don't need to improve I'm sorry there is a limiting belief maybe that I think okay I think there's some humility that can come in from that because again it's that superhero thing of chasing a perfection that I will someday get to where I never feel vulnerable by the way but what if I don't need to improve what if I need to work on really validating myself a little more I think that's the one thing in fact that's really missing for most of us is we forget to stop and validate ourselves a little before we can feel sort of fortified enough from that validation to then step into self-expression self-expression and creativity and to live from an authentic personality that we have so again just to recap the first one here of these limiting beliefs that can be helpful is you cannot predict the future you can't read people's minds you're not better than anybody else out there you're not a superhero and you don't need to improve so let me know what you think of these guys I hope that was a useful video and thanks as always for joining me here and I'll see you again next time