5 Secrets to Letting Go that will make you Attractive AF.

The less attached you are, the more attractive you are, or you could say the degree to which you are detached is the degree to which people will attach themselves to you because it's attractive. So when we talk about attractive energy, understand that people are attracted to somebody that is in their own frame and doesn't need something from them. Does it need their approval? Does it need their validation? Does it need them to like their Instagram post? Does it need them to text them back immediately? Somebody that is doing that, that is conveying a sense of value. And the degree to which I realize in my own life, this guy right here, that I've been to let go of what other people think, let go of labels, let go of limiting beliefs, let go of attachments, is in direct proportion to the degree to which I've had really good ---- happening to me. A lot of great opportunities, a lot of expansive growth, and attracting love, like these are all things that came in for me when I really let go. And in this video, I wanna share you five secrets to letting go that will make you more attractive and that will completely transform your life. And when you start applying them, it changes everything because you start realizing who you really are and you start letting go of what you are not. So this video is something that can plant the seeds that can really transform many different areas of your life, whether it be love, whether it be going for your purpose, your health. And I'm gonna show you exactly step-by-step what to do and the secrets that I've applied in my life in this video. Welcome back to another video. My name's Aaron, and I help people expand their consciousness. Now, this video implies something somewhat interesting. First off, let me say that right off the bat. So it says five secrets to letting go that make you attractive AF. Now, when we talk about you being attractive, understand that there's a belief there that kind of implies that you may really care what other people think of you. I know for a long time, being attractive to me meant validation. If I was attractive and people were giving me attention, I felt validated. If somebody else was paying me attention or I had somebody that was texting me that liked me, I felt validated. And while it can be a side effect of letting go that you become more attractive, I would encourage you to, first off, become aware of the belief there that you need to be validated because if you start to validate yourself, you will become more attractive. This was a game changer for me on my path of letting go and being attractive and having attractive energy was killing the neediness. This is one of the secrets to letting go. It's killing the neediness because neediness keeps you in an energy where you feel like you're in lack. And many of us growing up, we had childhood trauma or childhood experiences that had us feeling lack, that had us feeling needy, and normally it stems from needing something or wanting something from our mom or our dad. Maybe it was their attention. Maybe there was approval. Maybe there was their emotional availability. Whatever we wanted growing up that we didn't get, a lot of times what happens is those same patterns remain on autopilot. Those same patterns remain in us attracting people that are similar dynamics. So it's very important here to realize that the thing you may crave is actually the thing that you need to give to yourself. And one of the ways you give it to yourself is you become aware of the belief, you become aware of how in childhood you craved that. I realized that growing up, I craved validation and attention and I felt like that was taken from me when I was three years old. I look back at my own shadow of this. When I was three, my brother was born. And first off, when I was one, my mom's dad died. And when my mom's dad died, which is my grandpa, I guess, and she had a lot of trauma with him and that's the whole side of the family. But when he died, she went through a lot of emotional pain and she was like, she didn't eat for a week. She said she lost 20, 30 pounds. And you can ask her parents this stuff, by the way. I was asking my mom and kind of like interviewing both of my parents to see what was their childhood like, because a lot of times energy is stored in ancestral lines and then we kind of have it. But for my mom, when I was one or two, she was feeling a sense of loss, grief. So imagine, I'm one years old and I'm like looking for attention and affection and nurturing for my mom. And I can tell that she's like emotionally distant because she's in her own reality, processing the fact that her dad passed away and that there's a lot of unprocessed emotion and energy there, a lot of pain and trauma. So I'm then feeling, oh, is something wrong? Is something wrong? And then what happened is I would tune myself to my mom or tune myself to other people and think, can I fix them? If I can fix them, then I can get them to love me, nurture me in the way that I want to be nurtured and loved. And that was something that was when I was one or two. And from then at three, my brother comes into the picture and my brother has all these health complications. He had asthma, he was always in the hospital. Andre Agassi actually at one point came into the hospital and gave him a truck or something like that. I don't know if he still has a truck, but I always found that, I always remember that. And at three years old, the attention shifted from me to him and then because there was so much attention because he was sick and always, or it was in the hospital. He wasn't always sick by the way. It was sometimes, I don't know. It's an interesting thing where maybe some of it was exaggerated for attention or something like that. But nonetheless, he got a lot of attention. And my mom and him were always in the hospital, stuff like that. But nonetheless, the attention then shifted away from me to him and then I started feeling like I wasn't worthy, like I didn't matter. And even growing up, I then had this thing where I was afraid to shine my light. I was afraid to outshine my brother and I would do everything I could growing up to not be in the attention or in the spotlight because it would make him feel small because he was used to getting all that attention. You know what I mean? Obviously from like a young age, just always getting it. So validation and approval is something that I wanted and craved, but didn't know what to do with. And I didn't wanna outshine anybody because if I outshined anybody, then it dimmed their light. So it was this weird thing. But what I had to learn to let go of is to let go of other people's validation of me. And I had to let go and realize that there was a belief there that was keeping me in a form of box, a belief that was keeping me feeling non-validated because I wasn't validating myself. That was where the neediness came from. And just to take this a step further, this might be kind of deep for this video, but one of the biggest epiphanies I've ever had in my life is realizing that I was attracting women that I felt like I needed to fix and I was doing them a disservice. I was implying they were broken and I was attracting people that I felt like I could fix because I got a sense of worthiness and validation off fixing them. And they'll never leave me if I fix them, right? That was the idea behind it. And I also realized that because I wasn't used to the emotional availability growing up, I thought I was attracting women that were emotionally unavailable to find out that I am actually and was actually emotionally unavailable. I've had to work through many blocks with this. And I think a lot of times, people that have maybe more of a needy energy, they think they want someone to be emotionally secure and emotionally present with them. But if they had that, they'd probably feel bored. They wouldn't be used to it. The nervous system would literally kind of freak out because it's not used to it. So a lot of this and a lot of the key to this is opening up the heart and becoming vulnerable. Needy people as well normally are passive aggressive. I was passive aggressive. I would not make my, I was so afraid of rejection. We'll talk about that in a minute. But I was so afraid of rejection that when it came to my energy, that I would, in a way, maybe not express my actual intentions with somebody that I was intending to date or take out. And once I started to be vulnerable, and part of being vulnerable means just sharing what you're thinking and feeling. You know, telling someone that you find them attractive, you want to take them out. Not saying, oh, I just want to be friends with you or pretending to just be friends. And putting your, because that's what the feminine really wants as well. The feminine wants to feel safe in the container that the masculine is able to kind of put in front of them and to be honest and to be authentic. So when I started to more so be vulnerable and to realize that I have a closed heart and I'm attracting people that I feel like I need to fix, but I need to open up my heart and become open. That was a key. Now, one of the other keys though, is I realized that I felt shame growing up because I felt like I was broken because of the emotional unavailability when I was one or two or three years old and the attention shifts to my brother. What I had to do is I had to realize that a lot of this stuff, like my mom going through a lot of stuff when I was growing up, that was her stuff, not mine. I could then separate the internalization that there's something wrong with me and realize there's nothing wrong with me. I was absorbing my environment growing up and absorbing meaning based on what was happening, unconsciously, of course, because I was a kid. But then I realized there's nothing wrong with me. It's not my fault. It's not my fault that that happened. A lot of times the parents might divorce me because it's my fault. It's not your fault your parents divorced. It's not your fault you had an emotionally unavailable mom or an emotionally unavailable dad. It's not your fault if a parent left you. It is not your fault if a parent cheated on another parent. None of that's your fault. None of it. You are worthy for being you. And when you start realizing you're not broken, that's when everything changes. When I became aware of this, by the way, and I let go of that shame by just being aware of it and choosing to let it go out of awareness, I started to attract so many great opportunities in my life, dating potentials. I started opening up my own heart. I realized I had to open up my own heart to people. I was the best person at like meeting somebody and then finding reasons why we shouldn't date or I shouldn't go forth with it. And the reasons were protecting me from emotional availability. It's funny how the mind works. Now that's the first one, is the validation and letting go of that. And that's a secret to letting go is becoming aware of it, choosing to let it go. But if you give yourself validation, you will immediately be more attractive. Now, the second secret to letting go has to do with abandonment. One of the biggest limiting beliefs that we all have, and one of the things we're afraid of is we're afraid of being left alone. We're afraid of somebody abandoning us, rejecting us, and that will hold us back. And that's because we're being attached to other people's approval, to other people's love and affection. And this was the key for me. Now, I realized this with friends and family, what I would do is I would completely abandon myself to make other people happy. Now, for many of you listening to this right now, you may have had and be what is considered an empath. If you figure and you identify as an empath, like this video or comment below. Like this video and comment below and say, I'm an empath, if you're an empath. I wanna see how many people are empaths. On this channel, my guess is, look at the likes below, you'll see there's probably a lot of empaths. When you are empathic, many times what happens is as a child, you went through trauma. And what happened is you started to tune yourself. You had to tune yourself to the outside. You had to tune yourself to other to survive. So it was like, how does my mom feeling? How is my dad feeling? How are my siblings feeling? I have to take care of everyone and it's my responsibility to manage everybody else. And if I don't, then I'm not gonna get my needs met. And your needs may be to have presence, to have people there. And if they're gonna abandon you, then you feel like there's something wrong with you and it's not desirable. So it's, I can control everything else. And then it's such a burden. But here's the thing that I realized in my own life. I, growing up, I'm the oldest. There was a lot of family trauma and a lot of things going on. I have had to tune myself. I had the crazy narcissistic ex-stepmom in my life from seven to 15 years old. My dad divorced her when I was 15. And all of a sudden I have all this freedom. But what I realized is I have this pattern where because seven to 15 years old, my brother and I had to be perfect for my ex-stepmom. We had to constantly tune ourself to her emotions to understand how she's feeling. We weren't allowed to have friends. A lot of times we were locked outside or we were controlled. And then all of a sudden I have this freedom, but I wasn't used to it. So I kept attracting people into my life to reflect that back to me that I didn't feel worthy. But a big part of it was that then I was so tuned to everybody else. I know anybody, I can feel people's intentions. I, it's part of being super empathic. And I know many of you have that too. But one thing I realized I've done is I want people's validation or approval or whatever. I'm afraid they're going to leave me. So I say yes to things I really don't want to say yes to, even at the expense of myself. An example of that is me saying yes to like traveling, told this story so many times, I feel like I don't want to be too repetitive, but I'm going to let go right now. But a friend's birthday party had to drive 10 to 12 hours because there's no flight into the specific place in Colorado to get to. And I had to cancel photo shoots. I was a week before I was going to Costa Rica. All this stuff I canceled because I just couldn't say no. And it was funny, 20 people were invited to this party and only like four people showed up because it was so damn hard to get to. And it's a great friend of mine. So it was nothing against her, but it was my own lesson because I realized I overextended myself, had to drive 10 hours. And I had the lesson on the way back because it started snowing in Telluride, Colorado. And on the way back, guess what? There was these crazy ******* cliffs that I'd have to go around and it was snowing. So anytime I'd have to like pump the brakes, not to like just slide. And I'm sliding around these freaking cliffs, took me like 12 hours to get home. And it was crazy. And it was because I felt like I couldn't say no. So what happens is I sacrifice myself at the expense of other. I'd be in relationship with someone. I'd be trying to fix them. I would lose and let go of anything I wanted, put my own needs to the side to make somebody else happy. And guess what? There's a loss of polarity of traction because I'm not in my own masculine frame. But the thing that I encourage you to do is to stop abandoning yourself for other people. You may be abandoning and like caring so much about what your mom or dad think that you're not going after your actual purpose. Become aware of that and realize you're abandoning yourself every time you just go to college because your parents want you to go to college, but you don't want to actually go. Stop abandoning yourself for other. And when you start showing up for yourself and you stop abandoning yourself, people will stop abandoning you because they will see that you're in your own presence. You're in your own energy. And you're able to easily say no. I just start saying no to people that were trying to hang out with me and being the old pattern when I was going full-time on YouTube. Because if I kept saying yes to always hanging out, then I wouldn't have been able to make my daily videos on YouTube for me to actually grow into my vision. I had to stay committed to my vision. I had to stop abandoning myself for other. And that's one of the things that I highly recommend you do is to stop abandoning yourself for other people and start realizing that what you can do is start to get into your own frame. That's what really changes everything. Now, one of the next things is about understanding this one truth of reality. This is a law of reality. This is a paradox as well. When I learned this, I realized that you have to let go. You don't really have a choice. Everything in the universe changes. That's the only constant. The only constant in the universe is that everything is going to be changing. So knowing that everything's gonna change regardless of whether you're attached to it or not, the decision, the choice is, well, if I remain attached to it, then I'm gonna get pain. Then I'm gonna get pain. So why stay attached to it? I've had many different areas of my life change. Even my buddy, Victor, he came over the other day where we were doing this challenge thing and he was talking about how he was pretty much tearing up and crying on this live because he was realizing that his three kids, they're four or five years old, one of them. One of them's eight or nine and then one of them's 11 or 12. They're growing up. They're getting bigger. And he spent a long time building his business and he spends so much frickin' time with his kids, it's ridiculous. Like all day, every day, pretty much. But it made him very sad because he started to realize like his oldest daughter just wants to kind of hang out with her friends now. Starting to look older. He got his middle son, Lucas, who's like reading and going to school. They're going to this school here called Waldorf. It's like a really nice, cool, interesting school. They're gone a lot now. He's got a lot more private time with him and his wife but at the same time, he misses them even though they're just going to school for eight hours a day. But if he remains attached to his image of his kids being five, three, nine, 10, like younger than they are, it's actually causing problems in his relationship because his kids want to be growing up and he doesn't want to see them that way because he wants to see them as the little kids that they once were. But he realizes he has to let go. There's a constant process of letting go and accepting the new. And he's letting go of an old version of them and he's allowed himself to kind of like die and be reborn many times. And I don't have kids yet but I imagine that that's somewhat, I imagine I'll probably go through the same process where there's a nostalgia. I even go through that now in my own ways with nostalgia. I feel nostalgic towards like past versions of me. I remember when I was first moving into Sedona like a year or two ago. Now I'm in Austin, Texas. There was a vibe. I remember when I was first going on YouTube, going daily, how exciting I felt to go daily. How excited I felt to quit my nine to five job. It was so nostalgic. I moved in with friends and I had roommates and I didn't really work out but like there was this newness and this freshness. And I bought all my time back. I could do what I want when I wanted to. A manager didn't tell me what to do. There was this new, fresh energy. Sometimes it's very nostalgic. Accepting that everything changes is key. And being present to the moment and knowing that this moment, the funny thing is that this moment here right now will one day be nostalgic. Is that crazy? Everything is changing in our reality. And when we remain attached to anything, we create resistance. But having the awareness that everything changes is realizing and appreciating the moment and knowing that we're never gonna get the same moment again this way, but this will one day be nostalgic for us. We've been taking these, I have these like old school panoramic, like these old school photos of the Polaroid cameras and I've been taking them recently. My girlfriend likes taking these photos and even just looking at them now, I can tell that in five years from now, those are gonna be so nostalgic. So this is something that is a truth of reality that we can begin to do. And once we do that, it changes everything. Now the fourth thing and the fourth secret to letting go is about understanding these attachments we have to certain energy dynamics and to certain energy patterns. So for me, I attracted after my ex stepmom left my life when I was 15 years old, my brother, my dad and I moved into my grandparents' house. And when we lived there, we were in this small thousand square foot house with like five of us, dogs and cats and ----. It was crazy. But we had freedom. It was amazing. And I remember in that freedom, that feeling of like, I can do anything. I can watch TV. I can eat food, like as much food as I want. My grandma always had Twinkies on the fridge. I know they're not healthy or anything, but we'd eat those. It's like a whole new world. It's like from Aladdin. It's like a whole new world. It's really how it was. And, but there was a part of me that was addicted to somebody trying to control me. Subconsciously, my ex stepmom left at 15. I then got a girlfriend. One of my first long-term girlfriends was four or five years. Total controlling, jealous, very critical. That felt safe and comfortable to me. Very interesting. I broke up with her when I was 21 years old. Then I got transferred in a shoe department to a better shoe department at Nordstrom's. And that manager was like a clone of my ex stepmom. Controlling, manipulative, protected by upper management so we couldn't get her fired even though she would say and do crazy ----. But guess what? I was used to that. Now here's the thing that changed my outer reality that really shows that reality is just a reflection. I had my spiritual awakening in 2012. I started to observe my thoughts and I realized that my ex stepmom, the pain from my ex stepmom, the pressure led to my spiritual awakening. And I started to, in a way, forgive my ex stepmom because I realized that everyone is always doing the best they can from the level of consciousness that they're at. Even people that steal from you, they have a belief that they're not abundant, that they need to take from someone else to be abundant. Maybe they learned it from their parents. It doesn't make it right, but it helps us understand it a little bit more. And when you understand, you can forgive. My ex stepmom had a dad, has a dad, who was narcissistic and abusive. She told me stories about how he beat her and her sister one time for, she was in the tub. I forget, but I remember these stories and I'm like, damn. Then I thought back to it. I'm like, maybe that's why she is the way she is, right? She's narcissistic and manipulative and it's because of her own childhood. It doesn't make it right, but it helps me forgive. And when I forgave is when everything changed. Now, everything in our reality is meaning. And I used to give it the meaning that I was the victim. She did this to me, it was horrible. And therefore I created myself over and over again to be the victim. That's not attractive energy. That's not expansive energy. My life changed when I forgave my ex stepmom. That's what I had to learn to do. Once I forgave my ex stepmom, that manager, Julie, she got fired literally within weeks for something stupid. And there were other things that she could've got fired for that she didn't get fired for because she was protected by upper management. But then something stupid she gets fired for, for like some type of email she sent to somebody that was pregnant or something like that. But there was stuff before that, that was even, that was way more in the face, but she got, she was protected. Outer reality changes when you change your inner reality. One of the keys to us moving into a higher level of consciousness has to do with forgiveness. Now think about it, forgiving. Let's look at this word real quick. The word forgiveness. Now think about it. You're giving things meaning. Now, maybe when you were a kid, your parents treated you a certain way and you gave that a meaning. I'm not worthy. I'm broken. My dad or mom is bad or evil, or they don't really care about me. That's the meaning we gave. That meaning then is on autopilot. And then in 10 years from now, your spouse, your family, you feel the same way about them as you did about your parents because you've given it that meaning, that relationships mean this. Forgiveness, for means before. You are taking away that meaning and you are forgiving someone. You are realizing that that's their ----, not yours. Maybe that's their meaning that they had and they're just living in alignment with it. My ex-step-mom that was emotionally, physically, mentally abusive, that was the meaning that she had in her life based on the way her dad treated her. So she was treating my brother and I that way up until I was 15 and my dad divorced my ex-step-mom. But I had to then look at that meaning and realize it doesn't mean I'm not worthy. It doesn't mean I'm not good enough. Doesn't mean I'm broken. Doesn't mean I deserve somebody to control me, to treat me that way. But I need to forgive the meaning. I need to, instead of give it that meaning, I need to take that meaning back and realize that it's not mine. Forgive before giving the meaning. So the key to this is freeing yourself. This is really the key. When you free yourself and you take back the meaning and you realize that everyone's doing the best they can from the level of consciousness that they're at, that's what changes everything. When I did that, everything in my life began to change. Within weeks, that manager got fired. I started feeling completely different. I had to forgive within my own energy field for then that pattern to leave my life. And even since then, there's been a couple little narcissistic things I've noticed in certain people that I've attracted, but I become more and more aware of how I can forgive other people. Forgiveness really is the key to us creating this new world and to us really having an attractive energy because when you are attached, it means you're attached to a meaning. You're attached to a meaning that you're a victim or that something is going wrong or that it means something. And when you let go of that, you become free. So work on becoming aware of what that meaning is and then just choosing to let it go. Meaning is like a story. It's like a belief. The story that you're not worthy, that you're not good enough. And the fifth secret is one that is probably one of the most important to letting go. And it has to do with killing, killing the payoff. There's a payoff we get from attachment. If we're attached to an ex, the payoff we're getting from that is a feeling of aliveness. The feeling that, and there's a belief there that if I stay attached to you, even though it's completely butchering the energy, then you'll stick around and you won't leave me. I don't want you to leave me. If I can control you not leaving me, I won't feel abandoned. Instead of realizing you're abandoning yourself to make that work, to make that happen. But at the same time, the payoff we get, one of the biggest payoffs we get, anything we do is because there's some form of emotional or there's some form of payoff there. A payoff could be positive or negative, but it's the reason we do things. So the payoff I was getting from the ex-step-mom situation is I was feeling the safety of someone else controlling me. There was a sense of safety there. I remember that when my dad divorced my ex-step-mom when I was 15, I remember that my ex-step-mom and her mom, my ex-grandma, I guess, was throwing our clothes in the dirt in the front yard when my dad and us and my brother went to go get our stuff after the divorce started to happen. Very dramatic. But from that, from throwing the clothes in there, I had this moment of realization where I was like, even though before we had zero freedom, that felt safe. I can do anything now. I can watch TV. I can eat food. I can have friends. But there was an anxiety with that. And it kind of freaked me out. No worries. Guess what happened? I attracted more people into my life that could try to control me. That's the payoff I got though. One of the biggest payoffs we get is the payoff and the addiction to being right. I was right. See, I am a victim. I'm right. I was right about this. There's many times I've realized that I was right in my own perspective at the expense of happiness. I've argued with people on Expedia over a flight increase when me and an ex-girlfriend, an ex-girlfriend and I were getting tickets and her ticket went through first, then my price went up. And I was like, no, we were booking at the same time. It shouldn't have gone up. And I realized that I was mad about it for three hours. And then all of a sudden I realized, wait, my addiction to being right right now is what's causing me to feel, and it makes no difference. I was so abundant at that time, even now, so abundant that the $100 difference doesn't make a big difference to me. So to some people it may, but I'm just saying like, it didn't, yet I was so, it was lowering my vibration for a day because I was addicted to being right. So how do you kill the payoff? You become aware of it. And then you see that it is actually hurting you. I became aware that I'm right, I feel alive. Some people, they get angry and that's their payoff. They feel alive. Angry is a higher vibration than that of the emotion of shame and guilt and like a passiveness and apathy. But it is like, you don't wanna stay there. You wanna become aware of these things. You wanna kill the payoff. The payoff is the reason you were doing these things. When you become aware of the payoff, you can then start to let that go. And I realized that in dynamic relationships, I had that needy energy or that like wanting from someone else, I was just, I was used to that payoff of like feeling alive. And it was replaying similar childhood wounds where I didn't feel like I was enough. Once I became aware of that, I was unable to let that go and to see the pain of that, the pain of me not feeling enough and believing that I'm broken. And then I keep attracting people to reflect that back. Once I changed that and I realized that I'm not broken and I started to open up my heart and be vulnerable, that's when everything began to change. That's when then my energy became more attractive and people started coming in. Dating potentials, met my girlfriend. Everything changes when you change and when you begin to let go. And when you also, this is one of the most powerful, this is actually written as number one, but I forgot to say, because I got into the whole validation thing. The values you have, values are like clusters of beliefs. Who are you? What do you value? If you value integrity and being consistent to your word, you'll show up on time. If you value other people's approval, then you will do whatever you can to get other people's approval. But if you value authenticity and vulnerability, that changes everything. When I started to value, I started to realize that who I am as a person is I am vulnerable and authentic over the value of getting other people's validation, that's when my life began to change. We have a ranking in our mind of these values of who we are and who we aren't. When I started realizing I don't care what people think, I don't need other people, I'm not attached to other people's perspectives. I'm gonna be myself and be grounded in myself and be grounded in my own body. And when I started to do that, my energy became very attractive. And one thing you could do as well is, there's something called the frame technique. I will post that video below. It's one of the most powerful techniques I've ever learned for coming more into my own frame so that I could let go of my attachments to other things and to other people. And when I did this, people, my energy became so much more magnetic because a lot of times we're tuning to everybody else because we're not actually in our bodies. The frame technique is very simple. My shadow work integration coach taught it to me and it completely transformed my life. And you'll see it below. Listen to this video, do this meditation and watch out. I get messages every day in my DM on Instagram, people saying that that meditation has transformed their life they've been doing it consistently. It doesn't have to do with feeling the connection between you and everybody. It actually has to do with you feeling the separation. And when you feel the separation, you start to feel safe in your own body, you become more attractive. When you're safe in your own body, you don't need other people's validation. You don't need other people's approval or support because you are present in your own body. So if you guys want longer form videos like this, want me to really go in depth, can you like this video and comment below and let me know. I'll be doing more videos like this. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoyed this video. As always, peace, much love and namaste.