【看剧学英文】｜狗狗日记11-2｜Dog with a blog｜看美剧学英语｜生活英语口语听力｜Learn English With TV series

Hey, honey. Back from class already, huh? I... Ah! Can't she keep that thing in her room? I am pumped. After my cooking class, I took a self-defense class. That really would not be necessary if we got the Home Watcher system. Oh, look at this, Ellen. It monitors movement in every inch of the house. It contacts the authorities. It even has a fail-safe kill switch in case the system becomes self-aware and decides to destroy humanity. Jason, come here. Let me teach you what I learned in self-defense. All right. Okay. You pretend to be an intruder and come at me. Really? Wait! Put your left hand on my right shoulder. Feet apart, leaving your vital organs exposed. What? Oh, wait a second. Let me just... Now surprise me! What if the intruder doesn't want to follow instructions and allow you to warm up? Can your Home Watcher do that? If you get the upgrade! Halt! State your business. I'm a kid. I have no business. That checks out. Carry on. Stan, you're still standing guard up there? How long has it been since you've slept? I don't need sleep. Sleep is for hand models. I have a sense of purpose. It's exactly what I was missing. I'm so happy it's working out for you. You know, you bring so much happiness to everyone in this family. It's nice that you're finally getting some happiness back. Oh, thanks. I'll never forget you for doing this. Love you, Stan. I love you too, Avery. Halt! Who goes there? Stan, it's Avery. You just said you'd never forget me. Did I? I'm a little bit tired. I really think you should get some sleep. Thanks. You're really looking out for me, Avery. Halt! Who goes there? Stan, seriously. Get some rest. I will never forget you for doing this. Halt! Who goes there? Come on, guys. It's time to go to the carnival. Let's go. All right, everyone. Get your coats. Oh, yeah. Oh, has anyone seen your mother? Very funny. I'm practicing my sneak attack. How is sneak attack a part of self-defense? Do not question Sensei Derek. Oh, wait. I gotta get my jacket. Would you stop walking so I can throw you to the floor? Why are you recording that? Someday, when I'm curled up on the floor in a fetal position, unable to speak, show this to my doctors. It will explain everything. Thanks for winning me a free monkey. That free monkey cost me almost a hundred bucks of ring tosses. I told you it was okay to stop trying. But you said an old baby-toothed carny was gonna get the best of you. Hey, good boy, Stan. Look at him getting his guard dog on, honey. See, I told you he could do it. And look how much happier he is to have a purpose. I am happy. So what if I haven't slept in three days? It's not affecting me. Anyone else see that leprechaun dancing in front of the red curtain? All right, up to bed, everyone. Can't I just go back to the carnival by myself? No. I barely got to talk to Tilt-A-Whirl Girl. It's a school night. Not for her. She dropped out a long time ago. Up to bed. Don't argue with me. Hey, Mom, don't freak out on me like you did with that guy at the carnival. He came at me with a stick. It was a churro. Could have been a sugar-coated gun. Hey, where are you going? Sneaking out of the house to take a spin with the Tilt-A-Whirl Girl. Okay, then. Carry on. Stan, you've been up there for days. Why don't you get off that coffee table and get some sleep? You want me on this coffee table? You need me on this coffee table! Come on, you're so exhausted, you're not even making any sense. Really? Three is a blanket you do not want to swim in. Whatever. Good night, Stan. Good night, Carol. Whoa. Whoa. Thanks for helping me home, bearded lady. I probably shouldn't have gone on that Tilt-A-Whirl those last ten times. I'm so dizzy. Good luck with your one-man woman show. Put your left hand on my right shoulder! What? Are you okay? You got him! Tyler? Why? I can't believe you sneaked out of the house like that. You were grounded for a month. Come on, Dad. Didn't you ever do something you weren't supposed to do for the love of a carny girl? No. Shh. Come on. Hasn't Tyler been punished enough? Oh, wow. Thanks, Avery. I mean, not only the pain of being thrown to the floor, but the humiliation of being folded up like a lawn chair by his own mommy. As I feared, Stan is completely useless as a guard dog. Yeah, but I'm not quite sure you're the answer either, my little ninja flower. We clearly need... The Home Watcher 9000. Where'd you get that? It's just something they send you if you fill out a survey. Check this out. Oh! Oh! That's loud! Hey, hey, turn this off. It's, um, um, uh, nipple, nipple, belly button. All right. That whole security system thing just scares me. Oh, come on, Ellen. What do you think could happen? You could fall in love with me. Is that so hard to believe?