My Musical Inspiration: "Engraved" (Part 1)

Note: The following is Yu (Yu Menglong)'s spiritual message.

Continued from My Musical Inspiration: "In Search of You" (Part 2)

After my teaching assignment ended, people from China's entertainment industry brought me back to Beijing and asked whether I had reconsidered continuing to "serve clients with my body." On the surface, it sounded like a question, but in reality, it was a threat. I refused.

Not only was I unwilling to continue serving clients with my body, I was no longer willing to serve the high-ranking CCP official I had been forced to obey for so long.

I needed more time to fulfill the mission entrusted to me by my guardian angel. At the same time, I wanted to remain faithful to the girl I loved. Although I knew we could never be together in this lifetime, and I sensed that my own time was running out, I still wanted to honor my feelings for her in the only way I could.

The executives of China's entertainment industry were furious. They had already blacklisted me and sent me away for more than a year of rural teaching, yet none of those sufferings had broken my resolve.

They gave me three days to reconsider. Du Qiang warned me that if they became truly serious, I would face something far worse than beatings or punitive sexual assault. He said it would be something that "even Falun Gong practitioners couldn't endure."

By that, he meant hellish torture. Many artists who resisted had died under such abuse.

A determination unlike anything I had ever known filled my heart. I understood how terrifying the consequences would be, but I did not regret my choice. The only person I felt I had wronged was my guardian angel, because she would soon have to bear everything that my decision would bring.

I called out to my guardian angel, told her of my decision, and apologized. Yet she never tried to change my mind. In fact, I felt that she was proud of my choice.

I had already guessed what awaited me. Quietly, I decided that I would only call for my guardian angel's help when I truly could endure no more.

I did not want her to suffer all the torment that should have been mine simply because of the decision I had made.

So I asked her to bring me the healing spring water, but I did not tell her the real reason. I only said that it would lessen the damage from the abuse. She asked no further questions. Every night, she came into my dreams and brought me the spring water for me to drink.

My decision to remain faithful was not made solely for the sake of my mission. Because of that, I felt my guardian angel should not have to bear the consequences on my behalf.

Three days later, they demanded my answer. I refused to compromise. Right in front of the senior executives, Du Qiang beat me severely. When I was at my weakest, he dragged me into a dark, damp room where several large men I had never seen before were waiting.

The moment I entered, they locked the door behind me. Without a word, they tore off my clothes and threw me to the floor. Some pinned down my arms and legs while another forcibly stuffed something into my mouth.

Only then did I truly understand what Du Qiang had meant by saying that it was something "even Falun Gong practitioners couldn't endure."

This was rape used as torture. Du Qiang had mentioned it before while threatening me. They restrained my arms and legs so I could not resist as those men took turns raping me. They forced something into my mouth so I would not be able to bite off my tongue and end my life when the agony and humiliation became unbearable.

This was a form of inhuman torture the Chinese Communist Party used against prisoners of conscience, including Falun Gong practitioners and political dissidents. Such people often treasured their dignity above all else, and the purpose of this torture was to utterly destroy both their will and their sense of human dignity.

Only a few hours of such abuse could drive a person into psychological collapse. Even those with extraordinary spiritual discipline and mental strength could not withstand it.

The men carrying it out had been specially trained for this evil purpose. No matter how desperately the victim screamed or begged, they would never stop.

It was not my first experience of gang rape. Every time it happened, it left devastating physical and psychological wounds. Even with my guardian angel's healing, it took a very long time before I could recover.

Because of the trauma engraved into my body, I would instinctively cough up blood whenever I was gang-raped. Whenever I failed to satisfy those I was forced to serve, I was often subjected to retaliatory group sexual assaults. Their dissatisfaction required no reason at all, so these assaults happened repeatedly.

I have long since lost count of the times I staggered away from serving powerful guests while vomiting blood along the road because I could not even make it home first. During the assaults themselves, even if I vomited blood, I had to swallow it back down. If I stained anything belonging to those "distinguished guests," I would only invite even more abuse and beatings.

The fact that I survived until 2025 is itself a miracle. Without my guardian angel's healing and the love and support of my Lemon supporters, I would never have lived long enough to be murdered through persecution.

But rape used as torture and gang rape are not the same thing. Gang rape is driven by sexual violence, whereas rape used as torture is carried out to humiliate, degrade, and inflict suffering.

Pinned down and unable to move, I heard those men laughing as they looked me over.

"So this is the famous 'most beautiful man in all the realms.' Looks like today we get to have a taste too."

Du Qiang replied with a sneer, "That's right. He's a Xinjiang boy. That's why he's been ridden by thousands and passed around by tens of thousands."

Those words—"ridden by thousands and passed around by tens of thousands"—struck me once again. A crushing wave of self-loathing and contamination surged through me.

Then they lunged at me like a pack of wolves.

It felt as though countless evil spirits had forced their way into my body, tearing through everything inside me without restraint.

Yu Menglong: 

The primary reason I have shared the stories of the abuse I endured is to expose the black industry chain.

I hope that my supporters—the Lemons, the Yu Family, and all who care about me—will not immerse themselves too deeply in those painful experiences, as doing so may cause emotional trauma of your own.

I fulfilled my mission. My guardian angel and I have already reunited in our world. So please do not grieve too deeply over the suffering I endured during my lifetime.

Continue with My Musical Inspiration: "Engraved" (Part 2)

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https://www.ganjingworld.com/collection/1ilf9v6tumi3bHSSitX6quX11i0p

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