My Musical Inspiration: "The Mysterious Bird" (Part 2)

Note: The following is Yu (Yu Menglong)'s spiritual message.

Continued from My Musical Inspiration: "The Mysterious Bird" (Part 1).

There is a line in "The Mysterious Bird" that says:

"Seated alone in the silent mountains, my heart falls into turmoil."

Many people have interpreted this lyric as describing the nervous excitement of seeing the person one loves.

But that was never my intention.

What I was really trying to express was that whenever my guardian angel appeared after I had been humiliated and violated, her presence filled me with anxiety and inner turmoil. In contrast to her purity and holiness, all I could see was the filth and brokenness of my own body and soul. Standing before her, I felt deeply ashamed and unworthy. It had nothing to do with romantic love.

I had been sexually abused, violated, and degraded by so many people that I eventually lost count. 

In order to survive, I had no choice but to cooperate. By "cooperate," I mean that I had to make the people I was forced to serve believe that I was willing, when in reality I was being persecuted. 

If I wanted to stay alive, I had to keep pretending indefinitely, trapped inside a body that had already been violated by countless people and would continue to be violated until the very end of my life.

The truth is, I was never afraid of death. To me, death seemed like a release from suffering. And because my guardian angel existed, I believed that whatever awaited after death had to be far more beautiful than this world. 

Yet all those compromises I was forced to make simply to survive filled me with shame and humiliation. I began to question whether my heart was still pure, and whether I was still worthy of being protected by my guardian angel.

At that time, I couldn't always feel her presence. Whenever I was overwhelmed by despair and pain, I would quietly call out, "Angel... are you there?"

When I couldn't feel her, I would wonder if she had abandoned me. Had I imagined everything? Had she never existed at all? As those thoughts took hold, an unbearable loneliness would consume me. It felt as though the only pillar supporting my life had disappeared. I wanted to free myself from this broken body and go searching for my guardian angel instead.

One thought haunted me above all else: I could not lose her. Life had become unbearably painful—mockery, hunger, imprisonment, violence, the entertainment industry's hidden rules, and even sexual assault... countless forms of physical and emotional torment.

Without my guardian angel's encouragement and protection, I truly don't believe I could have endured it. If she had been nothing more than a hallucination born from unbearable suffering—or if she had truly abandoned me—I no longer wished to keep living.

Fortunately, every time those thoughts arose, every time I resolved to end my life, she appeared just in time and pulled me back from the edge.

Once, after my manager violently assaulted me, I was locked inside an iron cage in the basement. Zhou Pin happened to need another song, so he dragged me—covered in bruises, with blood running from the corner of my mouth—into the studio and forced me to compose new music.

There was a glass cup in that studio that I loved very much. In my despair, I thought, "Let this glass cup accompany me as I leave this world."

I smashed it, picked up one of the long, razor-sharp shards, and thrust it toward my heart. I was only a fraction of a second away from succeeding...

Then time itself seemed to stop.

What happened next was so extraordinary that it convinced me beyond all doubt that my guardian angel was real.

Time reversed to the moment before I had shattered the glass. My guardian angel appeared, weeping as she held me tightly in her arms.

"My child, don't hurt yourself. Don't push me away and sever our connection. I will always protect you until you fulfill your mission."

I still didn't know what that mission was, but I believed her.

She explained that there were times I could no longer feel her because I believed I had become spiritually unclean, and it was I—not she—who had pushed her away.

At that moment, I suddenly realized that as long as she continued to appear, it meant my heart was still pure. It meant she had not given up on me.

She kept her promise. As long as I did not reject her, she remained by my side until the very last moment of my life.

Near the end of my life, the people who were after the USB drive killed the two loyal dogs that had been protecting me. In desperation, I swallowed the drive. Furious, they beat me relentlessly. Then several of them restrained me while another prepared to cut open my abdomen with a blade to retrieve it.

Weak and in unbearable pain, I knew they were about to take my life. Yet strangely, I wasn't afraid. By then, my guardian angel had become my faith.

Silently, I prayed to her:

"They are about to take the USB drive from my body. I am about to die. Please destroy it with your power so that more artists can be protected."

I gently closed my eyes. Although fear still gripped my heart, I trusted that my guardian angel knew exactly what she needed to do.

The instant the blade pierced my abdomen and I cried out in agony, she appeared.

Behind her stood countless female angels.

"Quickly! There's no time!"

Together they released a brilliant golden light. In that instant, they drew my soul out of my body, and all pain disappeared.

Layer upon layer, the angels embraced my soul in their arms. With voices as gentle as a mother's, they comforted me and promised that they would protect me until the very end.

That is why, when my primary soul departed this world, it carried only the love of those angels. There was no hatred in my heart. My only concern was to reveal the truth about the black industry chain.

Only afterward did I learn that my guardian angel had been sent into my life by a righteous deity from the higher realms to help me fulfill my mission.

She taught me that people are not born merely to live for themselves. Each of us has a greater mission. Otherwise, neither she nor the host of angels who appeared in my final moments would have entered my life to shield me from my last pain and humiliation.

Her presence taught me that no matter how much I suffered, no matter how desperately I longed to die, I could never harm myself. Because if I did...

What would become of the people I was meant to save?

At the time, I didn't know what my mission was, who those people were, or how I would save them. But every word my guardian angel spoke became engraved upon my heart, inspiring me to write one song after another.

In the end, however, every one of those songs was taken away by Zhou Pin and others within the Chinese entertainment industry, and released under the names of other composers and music producers.

The Mysterious Bird

Original Lyrics & Music: 余夢龍 Yu Menglong

虛無之間 不曾期盼 In endless void, I dreamed of none.
宴坐空山 心生慌亂 Alone on peaks, my heart came undone.
流水澹澹 回憶冷暖 Soft waters flow through joy and pain.
長風吹散遺憾 Long winds erase what still remains.

樊籠之中 來世宿命向何處嘆 Caged by fate, where shall next lifetime land?
深淵之中 時空輪轉心在呼喚 Through endless depths, my soul still takes its stand.
黑暗中 只有你為我照亮 In darkest night, your light alone could shine.
回望中 奈何你已在遠方 I turned around—yet you were past my time.

追尋你的方向一路飛翔 I chased your path on tireless wings in flight.
用盡全身力氣最後回望 With all my strength, I gave one final sight.
你是我絕望中生之嚮往 You were the hope my dying soul would claim.
一生短一念長各自遠方 Life fades too fast, but thoughts outlive the flame.

對錯 成敗 過去 現在 Right or wrong, loss or gain, then and now.
破碎 重建 摧毀 再來 Break apart, rebuild again somehow.
泣我悲 無謂 My tears fall down in vain.
天命追 不隨 I chase fate, yet not its chain.
玄鳥歸 是誰 When the Black Bird comes, whose name remains?

Die bored
Not mine

只為遇見你 一生遙望 To find you, I would watch my whole life through.
成為黑暗裡行走的光 To be the light that walks the darkest blue.
一滴淚 一寸灰 One falling tear, one inch of ash.
一念來回 One thought returns in every flash.
一生短 一夢長 Life is brief, but dreams outlast.

只為遇見你 一生遙望 To find you, I would watch my whole life through.
成為黑暗裡行走的光 To be the light that walks the darkest blue.
一滴淚 一寸灰 One falling tear, one inch of ash.
一念來回 One thought returns in every flash.
一生短 一夢長 Life is brief, but dreams outlast.

三世一望 Three lifetimes, one eternal gaze.

Yu Menglong: 

The primary reason I have shared the stories of the abuse I endured is to expose the black industry chain.

I hope that my supporters—the Lemons, the Yu Family, and all who care about me—will not immerse themselves too deeply in those painful experiences, as doing so may cause emotional trauma of your own.

I fulfilled my mission. My guardian angel and I have already reunited in our world. So please do not grieve too deeply over the suffering I endured during my lifetime.

Continued in My Musical Inspiration: "Nothing Compares to You" 

Explore the complete collection of stories behind Yu's original music:

https://www.ganjingworld.com/collection/1ilf9v6tumi3bHSSitX6quX11i0p

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