DEAR BONNIE: My husband has been gone for almost two years now and every time I think I am feeling better about life without my soul mate something happens and I feel guilty about moving on. How can I honor him and move forward without letting go? Thanks Cheryl
DEAR CHERYL: One of the most common questions I hear from those navigating the heavy landscape of loss is, “How do I let go of someone I still feel so connected to?” There is a profound, often painful tension between the physical absence of a loved one and the vibrant, energetic presence they still hold in our hearts.
The first step in navigating this transition is to challenge the very idea of “letting go.” In the world of grief and spiritual healing, “letting go” is a bit of a misnomer. It implies a severing of ties or an intentional forgetting. Instead, the goal is to reinvest. You are not releasing the person; you are releasing the physical expectation of them. You are shifting the relationship from one of physical presence to one of spiritual and internal connection.
If you still feel a deep connection, it is because that connection still exists. Love does not evaporate when a heart stops beating. That lingering “tugging” on your soul is often an invitation to find a new way to communicate. When you feel that familiar warmth or a sudden thought of them, acknowledge it. This isn’t “dwelling”; it’s honoring the reality of your current bond. By validating these moments, you reduce the internal struggle of trying to force a goodbye that your soul isn’t ready to say.
Honoring someone doesn’t require you to stay frozen in the moment they left. In fact, one of the highest forms of tribute is to carry their best qualities forward into the world.
Make a living tribute: If they were known for their kindness, perform an act of service in their name.
Have a ritual of remembrance: Create a dedicated space, a small shelf with a photo or a specific candle you light on Sunday mornings. This gives your grief a “home,” allowing you to focus on your daily life during other times, knowing their memory is safely tucked into a place of honor.
Moving on is not betrayal. It is the natural fulfillment of the cycle of life. Imagine for a moment what your loved one would want for you. Would they want you to sit in a darkened room, tethered to a memory? Or would they want to see you experience the beauty of a Tennessee sunrise, the laughter of a child, or the thrill of a new project?
Moving forward means taking them with you, rather than leaving them behind. It’s about building a life that is big enough to hold both the joy of the present and the sacred memory of the past.
As you navigate this week, try to view your connection not as a weight holding you back, but as a light guiding you forward. You can be a whole, thriving person while still carrying the beautiful, indelible mark of the person you lost. The bridge between you is built of love, and love is the only thing that truly survives the transition from this world to the next.
Bonnie Page is a Psychic Medium, Reiki Master and Certified Grief Coach. Her mission is to helps others demystify the spiritual world where there is no death. If you would like to ask Bonnie a question for her column, please send it to [email protected] If you would like to find out more about Bonnie and her services please visit her website www.bonniepagemedium.com
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