LANCASTER — One local woman reflecting on her experience as a Black woman living in this country has channeled her thoughts into writing about it.
Longtime Lancaster resident Sedruola Maruska recently released “Unheard Voices: Breaking the Silence,” the first of three booklets she will eventually combine and submit as a book to publishers. While it is centered around the period of time leading up to her pending divorce, she did not want that monumental life shift to be the entire focus.
“I thought about what I was going through and why I had a lot of feelings and ideas about the process,” the 57-year-old said. “However, I didn’t want to write a book on divorce, so I decided I wanted to write a book on the various ways I was feeling.”
Each booklet will have a different title and she’s aiming to release the second one May 1.
“Together they will convey the overall message of the book, which is bringing to light all the ‘uns’ women experience, especially from a Black woman’s perspective,” Maruska said. “The message is that as women, and more specifically Black women, we’re often silenced in various ways. When I got to a place where I knew I was going to get divorced I realized it was because of a lot of ‘uns,’ being unheard was one of them.
“As you can imagine the book is full of all the different ‘uns’ I felt and also realized I’d experienced for a long time,” she continued. “I’m hoping that readers will see themselves in the stories and realize they don’t have to stay with those feelings. As I work on the second booklet, which is ‘Unseen,’ I realize more and more how many people go through these feelings for various reasons. If someone can work through the booklet and come out changed in the end, then I’m happy to have been of some help in the process.”
Maruska was also inspired to write it — and release it during Black History Month — because she has been in the process of trying to write the book for a couple years but keeps finding herself “stuck, not because I didn’t know what to write, because it felt daunting.”
“I decided that I would take each chapter and write it as a booklet. That felt less daunting and allowed for more space for my readers to write in their own experiences, get a taste of what’s coming, and for me to start getting the information out there,” she relayed. “I am still writing the book, and I think having the booklets will help with a publisher.”
“Unheard Voices: Breaking the Silence” officially came out on Feb. 2 and can be purchased for $8 by visiting paypal.com/ncp/payment/Y3Y7KE65Y82EJ. For now, Maruska is sending it out digitally but hopes to get it printed by the time the second booklet comes out.
“So far the response has been pretty positive,” she reported. “Those who’ve read and shared with me say they feel it’s ‘an absolute gift’ and a ‘gem.’ I’m so grateful to hear that especially as I begin working on the next one.”
In the booklet description, Maruska writes that “Unheard Voices” grew from her own journey, “a reclaiming of what was buried under politeness, fear, and expectation.”
“It grew from conversations with other Black women who are learning to trust their voices again,” she conveyed. “This booklet is a reflection and a guide. You’ll find stories, affirmations, and prompts to help you explore your voice — not the one shaped by survival, the one that belongs to your soul. Move through these pages at your own pace. There’s no rush. You may shed some tears. You may laugh. You may feel a deep quiet.”
When asked if she purposely released it in February to coincide with Black History Month, Maruska said she “did and didn’t.”
“I wanted to stop allowing the anxiety of putting it out into the world to control me. February seemed like a good time and it being Black History Month put the icing on the cake,” she said.
“The booklets are written from the perspective of my lived experience as a Black woman in the United States<‘ she said. “It’s important to me to find community and connection with other women who can relate to what they’re reading and who want to process through their feelings. Black History Month is important, and Black history is always important. Starting the release in Black History Month felt moving to me as will continuing the conversation in the months to come.”
Maruska has called Lancaster home for nearly two decades and is the proud mother of two, a 19-year-old son and a daughter who is soon to be 15. She grew up mostly in New York, moving a lot between the ages of 5 and 10 because her father was in school, and attended middle and high school in New York and college in Michigan.
They moved to Massachusetts when her son was 3 months old to be closer to her parents and for her ex-husband’s health, who she was married to for 23 years. Maruska has held many different jobs during her career and now serves as the director of diversity, equity and inclusion at the Edward M. Kennedy Community Health Center in Worcester.
“I’m having the most fun and feeling the most fulfilled in this position,” she said of her current role. “I love what I get to do on a daily basis and the difference I feel I am making.”
She also has an award-winning podcast called “Diversity Dish” that focuses on bridging the gaps in diversity, equity, inclusion, and social justice. With over 90 episodes so far, it features conversations centering on real-life, workplace, and societal issues through three formats — solo, interviews with guests and Q&A sessions.
Maruska felt pulled to write the booklets now and share her voice through them in part due to the current political climate, upheaval and division, particularly when it comes to minorities.
“I think it’s important for me to do this now because of the times we live in,” she said. “Women’s lives, Black lives and brown lives, are being challenged and rewritten and we’re feeling a little trapped. I’m using this process as a way not to feel trapped, to put my voice out there as a beacon for others and to help spark conversations that will help women express themselves.”
She shared that the main theme of the upcoming two additional booklets is “this is how you’re feeling, this is probably why, this is what you can do to change it.”
“All the booklets are based on something that isn’t happening for whatever reason and how to adjust it,” Maruska said. “As I’ve shared, the next one is ‘Unseen.’ I’m sure anyone can formulate how that’s been true for themselves.”
Growing up the daughter of two immigrant parents — “which means I am bi-cultural” — she was “quite sheltered and didn’t always feel the weight of being Black in the United States because my community was full of amazing Black people.” That changed when her family moved to Salt Lake City in Utah when she was 8 because her dad was accepted into the University of Utah doctoral program.
“Around that time was when I began to feel a difference in my existence. My brother and I were the only two Black children in the whole public elementary school of about 200 students and incidents happened that didn’t make sense to me,” Maruska said. “It was also around that time that I found myself questioning the way I looked and the texture of my hair.”
She said moving back to New York the summer before she turned 11 “was a culture shock and lifesaving.”
“Being around people who looked like me and had hair like mine affirmed me and I stopped questioning my existence,” Maruska said. “As I’ve grown up in this country, I have learned to navigate spaces for safety and understanding. It’s a nuanced way of walking through a world that is often hostile toward your existence. ‘Unheard Voices: Breaking the Silence’ is a small glimpse into what that walk entails. I think as the subsequent booklets come out a clearer picture will emerge.”
She went on to say the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement in the wake of George Floyd Jr. being murdered in Minneapolis by a white police officer in May 2020 and how things are now in the country with the uptick in rampant racism and ICE violence against minorities affects her deeply “as an empathetic human.”
“A lot is going on, and it affects me as someone with people within my inner circle who are nervous about their legal status — green cards are being stripped and questioned — and as someone who currently works with an organization serving vulnerable populations,” Maruska said. “I am also affected in that I know now, and have always known, that anything happening to Black people not in my circle can easily happen to Black people within my circle.
“There is anger, frustration and sadness as I watch these things unfold, and the apathy I’ve encountered in people I felt I could trust,” she continued. “I’ve found myself contracting my circle in an effort to feel safe, protected and affirmed. I don’t walk through my days always afraid, [yet] I am not naïve enough to think the things that are happening have nothing to do with me. They have everything to do with us all. We all need to be less apathetic and more activated to learning and making a change within our circles.”
That being said, the newly minted author said she truly appreciates the people who are supporting her writing efforts and the important and relevant messages she is hoping to convey through her artistry.
“I am so grateful and truly humbled. I’m releasing and going about this differently than I would in the past, allowing myself space and rest and grace through the process. It’s truly affirming that there are those who will go along this journey with me and support this effort.”
And when asked to name some Black women she admires and why, Maruska ticked off a list.
“The Black women I admire most include all my aunties, my mom’s sisters and cousins, because they modeled for me strength, joy, unconditional love and unwavering faith,” she shared. “Then there are my sisters and cousins who recreate the loving powerful circles of our moms. Outside of my family are bell hooks, Harriet Tubman, and Sojourner Truth, all of whom lived, fought, made a difference and died always using fear to their advantage. I admire and aspire to these fierce women.”
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