Maximinus Thrax: The Barbarian Emperor of Rome

welcome back to biographics I'm your host Cosmic horror madman Eric Malachite and today's protagonist is none other than maximinus THX the Barbarian emperor of Rome Ru Alexander penned the script for this one so be sure to give him a big thanks in the comments as always be sure to check my links out in the description if you like my voice and face area and let's get to it nothing lasts forever today we remember the might of the Roman Empire but it could not go on endlessly when exactly the decline began as something for historians to debate but we can argue that the Empire reached its peak in the 2 Century ad during the Reigns of the five good Emperors and slowly went downhill afterward then that slow decline fell off a cliff 50 years later when the end of the severan dynasty brought about a long period of great instability and weakness known as the crisis of the 3r century and this upheaval was triggered by the violent and murderous reign of a giant of a man a thasian barbarian known as maximinus thrax we start off with a quick mention of our sources and well they could be better Roman emperors are usually well documented but that's not the case here especially especially the early life of maximinus thrax the historian herodian is probably the best source on the subject since he was a contemporary while the Historia Augusta has a detailed account of The Emperor's life but let's just say that it is prone to Hyperbole and that's being generous a more accurate description would be to say that it simply makes up Maxim minis THX was born Circa 173 ad in a small village somewhere in thce hence his moniker THX or the thasian he was of low birth that we can say for sure that's why he was often referred to as a barbarian but who exactly his parents were is another matter herodian only describes THX as a half Barbarian who worked as a Shepherd as a boy while the Historia Augusta claims that his father was a goth named Mika and his mother was an allen named Ababa but that THX himself concealed this fact once he became emperor to downplay his Barbarian Origins also a adopting the more Roman named ofgas Julius verus maximinus THX was a mountain of a man and his Feats of Strength would put Andre the Giant to shame undoubtedly most of these Tales have been exaggerated especially since they come from the Historia Augusta but we can say with a fairly High degree of confidence that maximinus thra was the largest Roman emperor in history it is said that he was over 8 ft tall that he was strong enough to crumble Stone and spit saplings and that he could wear his wife's bracelet as a ring on his thumb but besides his Herculean strength THX was also said to be courageous and and I quote handsome in a manly way although he was a bit rough around the edges in terms of manners and had a fierce temper unsurprisingly a man of his size made a fine addition to the military in listing sometime around 190 ad and first serving in the Cavalry under Emperor Septimus seus the founder of the San Dynasty as The Story Goes THX first came to the attention of the emperor while the latter was staging military games to celebrate the birthday of his son and future Emperor Getta wrestling was one of the events that the games and silver prizes such as collars and armorings were up for grabs thrax wanted to take part no real shocker there and seus once he saw his size was also eager to see him inside the squ Circle however since THX wasn't a military man at that point the emperor considered it improper to have a civilian and a thian one at that who barely spoke Latin wall up his highly trained disciplined soldiers for everyone to see so instead seus book thrs in a gauntlet match against sutlers I.E civilian prisoners for the Army the thasian went through 16 of them in one go and collected 16 prizes at that point seus did his best status quo impression and informed Maximus THX that he was in the Army now this meant that the next day THX could fight soldiers but before that the emperor decided to test his speed as well and had him race against his horse after several laps seus went up to Maximus and asked what say you my little thian would you like to wrestle now after your running to which thra replied as you please Emperor at that point seus ordered his biggest and bravest soldiers to match up against thrax but was a complete slobber knocker the thian bested seven of them in one go this time proving definitively that he was the cream of the crop once again he won seven silver prizes one for each Victory but Emperor seus wanted to give him a reward to match his accomplishment so he presented th with a golden collar it wasn't quite the big gold belt but it was the next best thing seus was sufficiently impressed with THX to make him a palace bodyguard his strength and bravery made him popular with the other soldiers so the thasian had no problem advancing through the ranks even at a young age this continued under severus's successors his sons kacala and Getta and THX was awarded multiple military honors although we don't know specifics this stopped in 217 ad when the petorian prefect marinus ploted sped kacal's assassination and claimed the throne for himself out of loyalty to the severan dynasty th wanted nothing to do with this who serper so instead he left the Army and went to thce to live on his estate unfortunately for him macrinus was only Emperor for a year before he was killed too and the San dynasty was restored as elagabalus came to the throne thrs returned to Rome eager to rejoin the ranks of the Roman army only to discover that elab balis was a ruler more concerned with his hedonistic desires and outlandish Antics than anything to do with the military once again THX intended to go into early retirement but was eventually persuaded to stick around by some of the emperor's advisers during the reign of alagab balis THX was made a Tribune even though he usually tried to steer clear from the Emperor as much as possible fortunately for him alagab balis was not around for long either less than 4 years and he too was replaced by the 14 y old seus Alexander there were a whole bunch of conspiracies betrayals and assassinations going on at this time but since we will likely do bios on alagab balis and seus Alexander in the future will save the juicy bits for those videos anyway unlike his predecessors Alexander was glad to have thrax in his service and immediately put him in charge of the Italian fourth Legion made solely out of new recruits giving him the task of training and molding them into Fearless Warriors such as himself despite his young age seus Alexander actually had quite a lengthy and prosperous reign of 13 years and during that time THX did such a good job of getting his men into fighting shape that the emperor decided to put the thian in command of training the entire Army this was a decision that Alexander would live to regret but not for long because this made thrax incredibly popular with the soldiers whereas the young seest was often still regarded as a mere boy playing Emperor this wasn't helped by the fact that many Saw Alexander's mother as the one really calling the shots by 235 ad they had had enough of seus Alexander we're not sure what the final straw was usually it's claimed that it's because he wanted to bribe the Germanic tribes to keep the piece instead of fighting them and the Army saw this as a sign of weakness and felt it was time for a change they needed someone new in charge a real man's man someone like maximinus thrax Alexander's end came in March 235 ad somewhere near the modern German city of mains he was meeting with his generals but unbeknownst to him thx's soldiers had proclaimed him Emperor and were on their way to kill him to give the thasian credit herodian claims that he accepted the title begrudgingly as he got out of his tent that day for training his men surrounded him and robed him in the Imperial purple at first th refused and threw down the robe but then his men threatened him too so he probably thought better Alexander than me seus found out about the treachery in time to Rally his troops but they weren't exactly eager to sacrifice themselves for the emperor they had their own issues with Alexander so when thx's soldiers urged them to join their sign some of them agreed While others simply left the field of battle a few centurions then entered the Royal quarters and killed seus Alexander his mother and his friends who had been unlucky enough to join him on this trip and with his death ended the San Dynasty after that all that was left was for the Senate to confirm maximinus thrax as Augustus they didn't like the idea of a lowly thian outside the Roman upper classes becoming Emperor but they didn't really have a choice unless they wanted to end up like seus Alexander to be fair it seems that they had good reason to be afraid as soon as thra took to the grone he began ruling with a bloody Iron Fist putting to death many who were still loyal to Alexander or who had offended him back when he was a common Barbarian he would not allow anyone of noble birth in his inner circle or even the palace for that matter clearly the whole Barbarian thing was a sore subject for him and anyone who reminded him of it risked a date with the Executioner early in his Reign thra uncovered an assassination plot orchestrated by a nobleman named named Magnus and although he had everyone involved put to death it only made him more paranoid and bloodthirsty then there was a second conspiracy This Time by a group of osro archers loyal to Alexander who intended to kill maximinus and install their leader cortinis as Emperor however they were sabotaged from the inside as one of the archers named maso decided to expose the plot kill cortinis and bring his head to thra to gain favor the emperor rewarded him with a swift execution because THX had reached the level of murderous Maniac in record time that would make guys even like Commodus and Caligula a little jealous or how the Historia Augusta put it never was there a more Savage animal on earth than this man who staked everything on his own strength it seemed that thx's strategy was to treat all the administrative matters of the Empire like he would the mil military the only type of life he was truly comfortable with he thought that he could kill all the noblemen and oppress all the common people he wanted as long as he kept his soldiers happy therefore he often granted them plenty of riches but to maintain their respect he would also need to show them military glory to that end maximinus thrax launched a campaign in Germany to protect Rome's borders and to show his men that he was not a coward like sephus Alexander he started out with a war against the elements and the two sides had a very deadly battle in a swamp somewhere across the Rind which thrax one despite sustaining heavy casualties herodian describes the scene when the Germans rushed into a vast swamp in an effort to escape and the Romans hesitated to LEAP in after them in Pursuit maximinus plunged into the March though the water was deeper than his horse's belly there he cut down the barbarians who opposed him then the rest of the army ashamed to betray their Emperor who was doing their fighting for them took courage and leaped into the marsh behind him a large number of men fell on both sides but while many Romans were killed virtually the entire Barbarian force was annihilated and the emperor was the foremost man on the field the swamp pool was choked with bodies and the marsh ran red with blood this land battle had all the appearances of a naval encounter it is probable that thrx had been waiting for a solid Victory before a adopting the additional title of germanicus Maximus and proclaiming his own son Maximus as Caesar or Kaiser AKA Junior Emperor after the battle THX traveled to panonia intending to spend the winter at serium and take on the cations next however it seemed that the people of the Roman Empire had had enough of the rule of this bloodthirsty Tyrant THX had been Emperor for Less Than 3 years but it was once again time for a change but who would be the man to challenge him well in this case it wasn't just one or two or even three but five new contenders who vied for the throne What followed next was one of if not the most chaotic year in the history of the Roman Empire the so-called year of the six Emperors you can probably guess why it was called that and in case you're keeping score at home the Empire already had the year of the four Emperors which we covered in our vesian bio and the year of the five Emperors which has its own video so you can give those a watch if you want to see the prequels first before we finish our little Trilogy so anyway the year in question was 238 ad th was still in panonia pursuing military Glory when a Revolt broke out in the Roman province of Africa it seemed that the procur there was a man after the emperor's own heart and the people were fed up with all the extortions and abuses that he regularly committed to win thrax's favor an angry mob descended upon him and killed him in his bodyguards now that the deed was done they might as well stage a full-blown rebellion and even Enlisted the aid of the African governor and proclaimed him the new emperor the governor was a guy named godian who we are going to call godian the first from the beginning to make it less confusing just like maximinus thrax behaved at first godian was initially reticent to Dawn the purple mantle and Proclaim himself Emperor the mob had to threaten him and his family in order to get him to comply but eventually godian concluded that he was the right guy for the job after all he held no love for thra but there was one condition though godan the first was quite old ancient sources say he was 80 when this happened so he accepted as long as his son godian the second would be made co-emperor once this was settled the two Guardians traveled to cage with an Imperial retinue to let the people know what's what at the same time he sent letters to the Senate the petorian guard and the people of Rome announcing his intention to come to the capital and claim the throne he promised to undo the evils done by thra he would return confiscated property he would provide new trials to the unjustly condemned and he would banish the emperor's informers to the petorian guard he promised them more money than they ever made before as you might expect the people were happy to be rid of the tyrannical reign of maximinus thra but even happier were the Senators they immediately proclaimed the two upstarts as augusty and even declared thrax and his son enemies of the country clearly they were going all in on the Guardians besides letters godian also sent a few trusted men to carry out some special assignments for him and by that we mean assassinations godian might have tried to paint himself as some feeble old man who didn't want any trouble but he definitely knew knew how to play the game there were still some people loyal to thrx in Rome in positions of power so they would have to be dealt with a particular concern was the petorian prefect vital leenus who could have swayed the petorian guard to stay on thrax's sign so he had to go he was killed by a few assassins pretending to deliver a message and it really doesn't say much for thx's reputation that vitus's companions initially assumed that the emperor had ordered his death because it was just the sort of thing he would do even to those supposedly closest to him the prefect's murder caused a riot to break out in Rome with some people incorrectly assuming that maximinus thra had also been assassinated an angry mob started killing judges informers and all sorts of officials who had carried out the emperor's cruel instructions plenty of innocent people were slaughtered as well as some saw this as the perfect opportunity to deal with anyone they had any sort of grievances with While others simply went from from house to house robbing and killing the occupants basically Rome turned into the purge for a while but once things started to settle most of those who were still alive supported guardian's Ascent to the throne meanwhile the Senate began sending embassies to the various provinces to gain their support for the two new Emperors making it clear that this was the will of the Roman people obviously word eventually reached Maxim in his thra and he tried to play it cool like this was just a minor problem caused by some carthaginians who had taken leave of their senses he called godian a miserable old man daughtering in advanced senility and mocked the idea that his mighty highly skilled Army could be beaten by men who have no arms except the spears they use in single combat with animals still he couldn't just ignore it so thrax rallied as soldiers and prepared to march on Rome now if this was a movie then The Underdogs armed with Spears and led by a scile old man would probably win the day and then celebrate with a big party Montage but this is real life and the reality was that guardian and his army never even made it out of Africa thrax didn't even need to get his hands bloody somebody else did it for him it was the governor of the province of numidia a guy called capellanus who was not only loyal to thrs but also hated the Guardians for him the rebellion was was the perfect opportunity to settle an old rivalry and also score some brownie points with the emperor capellanus had at his disposal a proper Army made up of Roman veterans and Barbarian mercenaries so when the two signs met in battle the predictable happened the Guardians were crushed as was their little Revolt godian II was killed in battle his father soon followed because when word of the defeat reached him the elderly godian hanged himself and thus the mighty godian Dynasty came to an end after 22 days although not quite because remember this was the year of the six Emperors not three with guardians 1 and two dead the Senate was in a bit of a pickle imagine the Ralph wigam I'm in danger Meme here because they knew that th was on his way to Rome and he was pissed they had back the wrong horse in fact their horse never even made it out of the gate so what to do now since obviously after declaring the Guardians Austy and THS An Enemy of the State they could expect no leniency from the Emperor who never really like them to begin with the Senators decided to name two new Emperors from their own ranks the hilariously named panus and balbinus they were banking on the fact that most people still hated thrx enough that they would side with anyone who went against him but this wasn't entirely the case because a separate faction sprang up that instead wanted to elect a Emperor Guardian III the 13-year-old grandson of Guardian number Uno once again the streets of Rome were filled with riant fires and bloodshed with their grip on power already slipping panus and balbinus compromised and named godian Caesar or Kaiser which appeased the angry crowds with this matter resolved for the time being they still had an angry maximinus thrs to deal with while balbinus stayed in the capital panus led the campaign against but once again the ending was a bit anticlimactic while penus was rallying troops in the province of Rena THX and his army were crossing the Empire unimpeded although they were hurting for food they hoped that they could resupply in the city of Aquila but surprise surprise the city shut its gates to them leaving thra with no choice but to lay Siege this proved to be more difficult than anticipated no amount of threats promises and negotiations persuaded the bans to open their doors to him this was mostly thanks to a senator named crispinus who rallied the city to stand up the thx's Tyranny they had plenty of supplies while thrax's Army was starving the emperor's soldiers were exhausted demoralized and miserable their loyalty was beginning to waver especially as they kept hearing rumors that all of Rome had banded together against thra ultimately they decided that they didn't like him that much either so one day either in May or June while thrax was resting in his tent a group of solders assassinated him then proceeded to kill his son his Commanding General and all members of his Entourage and thus the Savage rule of maximinus thra had ended and later that same year panus and balbinus who had never been that popular to begin with were also assassinated by the petorian guard leaving godian III to emerge as a sole ruler from the year of the six Emperors well I certainly hope you enjoyed this video found it entertaining and educational I'm sure many of you like laughed at the name poopy anus I know I did a lot and if you did dig this video be sure to do all that algorithmic jazz I'm Eric Malachite and I'll see you next time space cowboy [Music]