I Wasted 10+ Years Trying To Find My Purpose And Here’s What I Learned (12 Lessons)

Are you stuck asking yourself what's my purpose? What should I do in life? I've been there too. I've spent more than 10 years searching for my purpose and after all these years I've collected my experience into this one video so you don't have to waste years making the same mistakes I made. I'll share with you the most valuable lessons and tips that I've gathered during these years that will help you to find your purpose and what you should do in this life much quicker and easier. And honestly after all these years I came to realize that finding your purpose is much easier than you think. You just need to understand this one key idea. The first time when I seriously came face to face with this question what do I really want to do in my life was when I had to choose what I wanted to study in uni. As a result I decided to take a gap year to travel around hoping my purpose will find me that way and then I took another one to just avoid making that decision. I was in a confusing situation. On one hand I knew exactly what I wanted but on the other I didn't. Back then I wanted to study fashion design but at the same time a million other things. I still remember how indecisive and hopeless I was about making that decision. To ease in my decision making process I tried writing down pros and cons, I consulted others, I postponed my decision making, I had many sleepless nights but then finally I managed to make a decision. I chose for business. But here's the thing. I wanted to study fashion ended up studying business because I was afraid. I was afraid it's a poor career choice so I chose for a safer option. Business. But maybe I would have done just fine. Maybe even better. Because I'm going to be honest with you. My safe business degree hasn't gotten me a job yet and with the experience and knowledge I have now I would have rather chosen the fashion degree. So to find your purpose listen to yourself. What inspires you? What makes you jealous? What are you curious about? And what does your heart want? Because your heart knows The true answer is the first thing that comes to mind and then your head gets involved. Your rational mind gets involved which kickstarts this mess in your head resulting in you not knowing anymore what you want. Your rational mind is there to protect you so you start thinking oh but it isn't the safe option. What if I fail? Oh I don't even like it so much. Your mind can numb your true interests. That's why it's so important to follow your heart and trust that everything will be fine. Go for the things that make you excited and not things that make the most sense. Because when I chose to study business the search didn't end there. As I grew older I kept searching for my purpose in a job description or a title. Doctor, lawyer, designer, entrepreneur, dancer, personal trainer, you name it. But years passed by and I never found myself in those titles. I kept searching for myself in the job descriptions and I saw myself doing many of those things which just made it even harder to figure myself out. I bought books hoping I will find answers there. I tried therapy, career coaching but nothing seemed to work. My purpose never found me. And here is the thing. No matter for how long I prayed for signs, answers or guidance, it took me more than 10 years to realize that you don't find your purpose, you create it. Your purpose won't come to your doorstep introducing itself to you. It won't just come to your dreams and you won't just one morning wake up knowing exactly what you want. No. To find your purpose you gotta create it. But how? How do you create your purpose? Well that's what we're gonna talk about next. First of all you gotta start looking at your life as a lifelong project. You create your purpose as you go through life, you get new experiences, you grow, you learn something new about yourself and that way you evolve. Therefore to create your purpose you gotta follow your curiosity first. For the most of my life I spend ignoring my true interests and my curiosity and speaking from experience if you keep ignoring them you at some point of your life you will be stuck. And it will be even harder to figure out who are you really, what do you really want and what's your purpose in this life. By following your curiosity you find yourself. Curiosity brings you to your genuine interests and speaking from experience it's much better to create your purpose from your genuine interests than from something that's forced. Which brings me to my next piece of advice on finding your purpose. My problem was that I had way too many interests and some of them weren't even genuinely mine. I struggled with decision making because I was afraid to choose that one thing to pursue because I was afraid that what if it's the wrong decision, what if I won't like it, so I just prolonged the decision making. But no choice is also a choice. Therefore sacrifices are needed. I as someone with many interests know how hard it can be to choose so you rather don't. I could prolong decision making even for years but knowing what I know now, I would even rather go for the wrong choice than no choice at all because then I would at least have known 100% that this is the wrong decision. Instead of dwelling in my head for years trying to figure out what should I do. Because the fact is that if you don't make the decision right or wrong you end up being stuck with that question forever. So the worst thing you could do is nothing. I was always so afraid to make decision because I was so worried that what if it's the wrong one, what if I will be unhappy. So for many years I avoided making decisions but the questions never went away and the pile of undecided things just kept piling up causing paralysis, meaning that things weren't really moving forward in my life. I kept coming back to the same questions and dilemmas again and again. What will happen if I go for option one or for the option two or for option three? But we can never know something for sure beforehand, what is wrong or what is right. Usually we only know it after, therefore the only way to know is by trying. Don't be afraid of the wrong decisions. The wrong decisions are valuable too because they give us understanding that okay this thing wasn't my thing after all and you'll be glad you tried wishing you would have tried sooner. Which brings me to my next advice on planning your purpose. It's better to do at least something than nothing even if it won't work out or it won't be your thing because you will be still moving forward. Dwelling in your head and avoiding making decisions just keeps you stuck in time and hinders your development. Sometimes we gotta get lost on the wrong path to find the right path but not choosing any path just keeps you standing still. The best way to figure out what you really want from life is by trying. But when it comes to trying, when I understood it, I still had this thing that I feared to still go for something because I was afraid that I will be stuck with it forever. Until I heard one piece of advice that blew my mind. Although it is so obvious but yet it changed my life. The thing is that you can always change. We fear the wrong choices because we have this fixation in our head that once the decision is made there is no going back anymore. Whereas that's absolutely not true. You can always stop everything you're doing and do something else. No one is chaining you to that decision. Not sure about your career? Try something. Don't like it? Try another one. Not sure if you will take that job? Give it a go. Try it. You don't like it? You can quit it. If you like it? Well isn't it nice you gave it a try? But anxiously dwelling in your head about decisions won't make it any easier. Which brings me to my next advice on finding your purpose. I'm going to be honest with you. You'll go through trial and error many times in your life if you dare to seek for your true self and your purpose. So did I and I still will. That's what happens when you take active participation in life instead of just passively flow through it. Be an active participant in life not a passive one because that's what's required to find your thing, release your potential and become the highest version of yourself. Therefore stop being afraid of failure or making the wrong decision. After wasting years searching for my purpose I can conclude this one thing. I'd rather waste my time trying than waste my time doing nothing. Every experience good or bad is still beneficial because they are contributing in one way or another into your future. So don't fear the wrong decisions. Fear to waste time doing nothing. And sometimes we just don't know what we should do because we are trying to figure out the whole thing at once. But something that helped me is understanding that you don't need to see the whole staircase. You just need to know your first step and then you see your next one and then the third one and boom you walk the whole staircase up. I'm coming back to the part where I told that I tried to search for my purpose in jobs and job descriptions. Something I really wish I would have heard back then is that your career is not your purpose. Your career doesn't define you. You're so much more than your career. It can be a part of your purpose but it shouldn't be everything. It shouldn't be your whole personality, your whole life and your whole meaning. I don't know what I want to do now but what I know for sure is that when I retire and I have enough life experience I'll start making movies. Which brings me to my next advice I have for you. We tend to put people into different boxes. Oh she's a beauty youtuber, he's a footballer, she's an entrepreneur, lawyer, doctor. But no one is just one thing. Most of the people have multiple interests. I have, you have. And it drives me crazy that we try to put people into these different boxes because we do it to ourselves as well. For a long time I tried to do that one decision. I tried to fit myself into that one freaking box. A dancer or a designer. This or that. But why not both? Because it doesn't go into our little heads. We try to fit ourselves into certain boxes trying to find the one we fit in the best. So my advice for you is to stop trying to fit yourself into these little boxes and build your own box or something. Obviously you will need to focus on one thing at a time but you can be a lawyer, a dancer, a content creator and a mom all in one if that's what you want. You have enough time if you just stop living inside your head. And if someone has a problem with it and they cannot comprehend it in their little heads then honestly f**k them. You have one life. It's yours. So why wouldn't you give yourself the freedom to expand beyond the norm? Beyond that small and tight box. Stop the limitations and free your mind. Which brings me to my next advice. In my early 20s I developed this weird thing that I started to feel too old for everything. I first spent years prolonging decision making, stagnating in my professional development and then I started to feel too old. Ironic. I started to worry about my future and things I wanted I considered too late to start. I felt too old to train dance professionally. I felt too old to do some risky moves. I felt too old to study something new. I felt too old for an entry-level job. I felt too old for a master's. I felt too old for literally everything. And if I could go back in time I would slap myself really hard because in your 20s you're first time adult. You're first time grown up. You just stop being a kid. With so little experience how can you feel too old? So my next advice on finding your purpose is that it's never too late to start. You need to stop stressing and wanting to have it all figured out in your 20s. Because the older I get the more I realize that it's never too late to start. And honestly I regretted a bit that I felt that way in my early 20s. Which brings me to the next advice on finding your purpose. After all these years searching for my purpose and trying to figure out what should I do in this life, I realized that your purpose is not found. Your purpose won't find you either. Your purpose is created. You get clarity on your purpose as you go through life trying different things. It doesn't just hit you one day, it comes you with experience. What I've realized is that experience gives you understanding of yourself and self-awareness helps you to define your purpose. Basically your purpose is what you do every day. And please, whatever you do, but don't be afraid of failing. Failing gives you valuable lessons that serve you for your whole life. I failed for two years straight and yes, I'm not gonna lie, it was hard. But it teached me so many valuable lessons and I'm sharing them in this video.