French Women Are Sexy But Never Vulgar - Here’s Why

French women have this mysterious ability to look sexy without ever looking vulgar. They know how to be sensual without being obvious, how to be feminine without being girly, and attractive without making their whole outfit about getting attention. And the good news is that this is not some genetic French secret. It all comes down to some very specific choices. In this video, I'm going to show you how French women achieve that kind of sexiness so that you too can look attractive without ever being vulgar. The first thing that you should know, which is the foundation of everything that's going to follow, is that French women consciously express femininity in a different way. There are plenty of dimensions to femininity and womanhood. And as a French woman, you are encouraged to find the way that is right for you to express your own femininity. Examples of ways of expressing your femininity are first the goddess archetype, so that's the kind of feminine with the long hair, the very flowy movements, the very flowy fabrics. She's very sensual, but she doesn't reveal much of her body, if anything. Another archetype is the sexy kind of feminine, so that's the kind of feminine where you put forward your physical assets to show your femininity. Third archetype is the ingenue or the soft flower kind of feminine. That is when what you decide to express about femininity is its fragile part, the fact that you need protection, the fact that you are sensitive, you are fragile yourself. Another archetype is the garçon, so the boyish kind of femininity. That's where you see ladies with a pixie cut, usually white shoulders, a flat chest, and then tend to dress themselves in a way that doesn't reveal the body. The contrast between the masculine clothes and the fact that they are women is what creates their attractiveness. Another way of expressing your femininity is through being very classic, so that's when you have the classic clothes. Here you're conveying the controlled and polished part of being a woman. This is the part of femininity that is slightly unattainable because she's too good for you. Another way of expressing femininity is by being discreet and very reserved. The attractiveness from that kind of femininity comes from being completely natural and being a beautiful, raw woman. And finally, the last feminine archetype is the sporty. She is the part of the feminine that goes out and achieves things physically, that goes out in the wilderness, that loves camping. And in that case, her femininity comes from her vitality and her energy. All of these archetypes are present in a woman, in femininity itself, and then it's up to you and to French women when they grow up to find with which archetype or with which part of femininity they resonate the most. And that's why the French way of being sexy feels different. It's because French women don't express sexiness through the physical attributes of being a woman. They express sexiness through femininity itself, the concept of being a woman. So how can you do that concretely? First, you need to identify what kind of femininity suits you best. You'll usually have one major archetype and then little notes of some others. If you have long curly hair like me, it's likely that the sporty or the garçon are not going to be your strongest archetypes. The goddess and the sexy would suit you more naturally. If you have a very chiseled jawline and a very flat chest, and you don't have a lot of feminine shapes, then the garçon would be the perfect archetype for you. If you hate wearing makeup and you're very outdoorsy, then the discreet or the sporty would be archetypes that naturally suit you. If you need help with this, because it's very individual and very subtle, I host live Q&As every week inside the Elegance Makeover community. That's something that I can help you pinpoint in person. So when deciding how to present yourself, you can decide to either go all in into one archetype, with the danger that it's a big cost to me, or to take little pieces from the archetypes that match with you. And that's what most French women do, and that's what I personally do as well. To make this easier, I have come up with some guidelines that you can follow. And as you follow those guidelines, you'll be able to understand more and more what archetypes are the ones that vibe with you, and you will develop your skill at being attractive without ever being vulgar. So the first guideline is to reveal only one part of your body. So if you're showing your legs, you should cover your neckline. If you're showing your neckline, then you should cover your legs. If you have a very fitted silhouette, then your body should be covered, because we already see the shape of your body, which is already ooh-la-la. On the other hand, if your silhouette is wide, then we can see more of the body. So you can have a very straight dress, for example, that reveals your legs, but not the shape of your chest or your waist. The second rule is that it's not necessary to show skin to be attractive. And that's really, really important. Sensuality can come from the way your hair flows, from the way you move your hands, from your wrist bone, from the back of your neck, from your collarbone. These already send very strong signals. So if on top of it, you reveal a lot of your skin and the shape of your body, and people can see everything in one go, then there is no mystery. And because there is no mystery, there is no attractiveness. We only desire what we don't have. Rule number three, which is an extremely efficient rule at making you attractive, is to create contrast. The contrast between feminine and masculine. So that's, for example, having a man's shirt and then unbuttoning so that we can see quite a lot of your cleavage. It's the contrast between polished and undone. So maybe you have a beautiful dress that is maybe designer or that you made yourself or something that is, you know, out of this world. And you have very minimal makeup or your hair is just simply washed but not done. Another one is the contrast between soft and structured. That's something I talk about very often. When you have a part of your outfit that has a lot of flow and the other part that has a lot of structure and a lot of stiffness that shows that you are unattainable structured. So just like the classic, but you also have the feminine flow in you, just like the goddess. Another contrast is to do simple, bare and sensual. So that's, for example, if you have a very simple makeup, but you have a bold lip. I really encourage you the next time that you want to be attractive to look for that contrast because that does a lot of the work. Rule number four is that there should only be one sexy element in your outfit. The mistake that a lot of women do when they want to be attractive is to stack up a lot of sexy elements. When you do that, you send one single story with your outfit, which is that you are sexually available. A French woman doesn't want to do that, but she still wants to convey that maybe if the partner is worthy, there could be a little something down the line. So there should be one element, one sexy element that can be either heels, either a bold lip, either cleavage, either showing legs. But there can only be one. Otherwise, the main message that you're sending is that you want to end up doing what adults do when they like each other very much. Rule number five is to use fabric to be seductive. If you think about how fabric feels like, it differs from one fabric to the next. So jeans don't feel the same way as cashmere. And if you want to express sensuality and femininity, you're more likely to choose cashmere than jeans. So French women are very much going to rely on how a fabric feels like to convey the kind of femininity and sensuality that they want. Rule number six, be comfortable with imperfection. Imperfection is very much intended in the French way of being attractive because you want to convey that you're real. The way that you're going to be imperfect is by having your hair slightly undone or very light makeup, or you wrapped up your sleeves in a way that's not too perfect. And personally, I always add an element of imperfection in my outfits. Usually it's my hair because it does the job. It has its frizziness and it's quite wild. So it's usually acts as the imperfect part because I've really observed that trying too hard to be perfect kills the sensuality. It makes it more into a performance. And then you're not feeling like you're really meeting somebody real and, you know, of flesh. Rule number eight, the makeup should not compete with the outfit. That is a mistake that I see made very often. But if you think about it, when people see you for the first time, they see you as a whole. So they see you with what your clothes convey and they see you with what your makeup conveys. And if your clothes have a super strong, super bold story, and then your makeup also has a super strong, super bold story, it's way too much and you look like you're wearing a costume. That's what I was showing you at the beginning with the lady in the black dress. She already has a dress that is quite sexy. She's wearing heels. She's showing her legs. So if on top of that, she has a very sexy makeup, then we're well overboard sexy. And everything is screaming too loud. They're not letting space for each other to both tell their story. But however, with this woman, as I presented her initially, you can see that she's wearing a very minimal classic outfit. She's literally in jeans and a shirt. But because the outfit is very minimal, then we can allow for a bold lip. So really keep in mind that your makeup and your outfit contribute both to the overall story that you convey when people see you. And it's very important that they sing in harmony. And finally, rule number nine to be attractive the French way, is to be comfortable in your clothes. There is no benefit to have beautiful clothes if you can't move naturally in them. Because your beauty, your sensuality, your femininity is going to come from how you move yourself in space. So your ability to move naturally should really be preserved by the outfit that you choose. Now that you have understood that you can be extremely attractive in something such as jeans and a shirt, I hope that you'll be able to see that there are many more outfits that you can wear in circumstances where you want to be attractive, that happen to also be comfortable. What is going to make an outfit vulgar is not necessarily that you're going to show a lot of skin and you're going to be way too sexy. It's also that you're going to convey that you have no depth, that you don't have any subtlety, that the way that you express femininity is flat out boobs and bum. Whereas femininity and womanhood in general is much more complex and sensual than this. It requires asking yourself what you believe womanhood is about and who you are yourself as a woman and how you want to portray this in the world. Thank you for spending this time with me. If you wish to join me for the weekly Q&A inside the community, I invite you to follow the link in the description and I'll see you very happily in the next one. See you soon!