Awesome Brain Facts: Cool Things About How Our Minds Work! compilation

No woman is going to leave because you made a mistake. She left because you made it a habit. The truth is, she would have rather fixed things with you than start over with someone new. And she stuck around because she was hoping you would step up and be the man she deserves. But you thought she would never leave and got comfortable disrespecting her. And look now, she's gone. Moral of the story, just because she's always been there, doesn't mean she'll always be there. Even the most loyal woman who fights to make it work, eventually gets tired. What have you learned from your last heartbreak? Self-worth, I think. You know, we get into relationships and then we put a lot of our self-worth into these other people. And if they disappoint you, which, you know, they will, you realize how to be independent and to have value on your own that isn't necessary to have another person. You should let yourself get swept away a little bit by being in love. Because it's like one of the best feelings in the world. With that high of being in love, there's obviously the low of being heartbroken. But I think that's a necessary human experience. Being heartbroken is important because you learn a lot of lessons about yourself and about others. I think you should let yourself get stuck for a little bit, you know. Feel the emotions you're supposed to feel with being heartbroken. Because it's going to suck, it's going to feel like nothing you've ever felt before. But it's important to feel that. And it's important to have that. Because you don't want to run away from it. Because then you're never going to get over it. This goes for men and women. If you're dating someone or if you're trying to get to know someone and you text that person and that person doesn't get back to you for hours or days and then finally responds and says, Oh, well, I was busy. What you need to do is calmly go to your contact list. Go to that person's name and erase their information from your phone. Period. I don't care who you are unless you are a doctor, a soldier or the president of the United States. If you can't get back to me within a reasonable amount of time, I don't have time for you. The gold digger woman is the woman that actually brings nothing to the table and is looking for a man to save her entire life. That might include even paying her parents bills. That might include covering her every single part. A woman who's a good woman and is looking for somebody on the same intellectual and financial level as her is somebody that doesn't want you to save her in any way, shape or form, but she would like somebody on the same or above what she's used to in her life and what she's created in her life. Now, if in her life she's got a good education, good career, comes from a good family, she is incompatible with somebody who's not on the same level. She would be incompatible with a man who hasn't got a job or isn't going to provide for her because she's been able to do it. But if you take somebody who's never achieved anything, has been at home all day, never got an education, hasn't really got any family values, but then is looking for someone to save her because in that sense she's traditional, that's your gold digger. One of the weirdest but best tips that I have for people that are dealing with obsession and struggling with obsession is to simply get to know the person more. Because when we're obsessed with someone, we are obsessed with the idea of them instead of the actual reality. We're obsessed with our own imagination, with our own projection of our potential onto them. And then that's all we've got to say about it. Just because he's not letting you go, it does not mean that he loves you. If your man gives you the bare minimum, to the point that you get fed up and say, I'm done, I'm ending this relationship, and then he starts putting effort temporarily so you don't walk away, this does not mean that he cares about you. It only means that he is comfortable. And the moment he finds comfort somewhere else, any threat you make will be useless now because he no longer needs you. My man wake me up at 421 a.m. and tell me he hungry, he wants some steak and mashed potatoes made from scratch. Homemade mashed potatoes with a smile on my motherfucking face. Because he pay those bills. Yeah, he don't got an axe for head, baby. He gets that on the regular. That ain't nothing to him because he know he getting it on the regular. He ain't gonna get no attitude, no backtalk from me. No sir. So when it comes to relationships, you often hear, there are no good people left or I'll be alone forever. But you really only have three options here. Number one, you can stay single, you can stay pessimistic, and you can perpetuate this victim mentality. Number two, you can settle for a mediocre relationship, which will probably breed more resentment and anger than anything else. Or number three, which may be the most helpful option, which is wholeheartedly committing to creating a life that you absolutely love and staying open to a relationship that would be an added bonus to that. So this new argument I've been hearing online is that men will date broke girls and be generous to them, but women will not date broke men and subsidize his life. But I don't feel like this is the right comparison. Because you know who men won't date? Women they find ugly. And I say this loosely because attraction is subjective, but no man will date a woman he is not attracted to. But women, women love medium ugly guys who have an amazing personality, high EQ and has his life together. That can make him the most attractive guy in our eyes. Our brains don't work the same. The things we care about are not the same. The things we find attractive are not the same. So we need to stop using this man logic to argue in the name of equality and feminism. If he doesn't want to pay for dates or buy you flowers, then girl just go find someone else. Don't let him lower your standards just because he can't meet them. He'll never look at me the way you look at her. It's true. I know it. I'd hate her for it if I was one of those women, but I'm not. Come on now. Travis, I... I'm gonna give you some friendly advice. And then I'm gonna go home and cry, okay? Swallow your pride. You want to be the guy that shows up in ten years with flowers in your hand, mobile by your side, hoping that she'll hear you out? Your brain should understand why you quit so easy. Because that's all any woman wants. It's a man who's gonna fight. There's something you must remember. And stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think. When you love someone, you have no control. That's what love is. You see, sometimes you can trust him when things are down. You tell people that you love how to avoid the road to hell, and you don't do that because you're shaking your finger at them, or because you're a moral authority. You do it because you don't want them to burn. I think there's too much of the moral authority still, not enough of the, you know, the love that helps people avoid. If you reject him now, he's gonna make it his life's mission to go out there and meet the most perfect, beautiful girl in the world just to try and get over you. End up marrying this other woman and spending the rest of his life with her. And tell himself that she's perfect. He really must be happy. She won't be you. No social media after 8pm, and no phones in the bedroom. I have an alarm clock, I have one of those body clocks. I leave my phone downstairs. One of the biggest things that I could give you as a piece of advice to go into next year is to not have your mobile phone in your room. No woman is gonna be happy with you chasing her ass all the time. Like, all the time. I'm not talking about in the beginning when you guys are coming together. I'm talking about if you live your life chasing a woman and showing up at her doorstep and having flowers and shit and violins and, you know, all that shit, you're killing yourself. The relationship is not gonna last. Reality is, when you buy your way in and you become a provider and you just become like, you represent provision, that's not the same as being sexually stimulating. You know what I'm saying? Like, representing provision and just being a guy, yo, I'm gonna buy you a bunch of shit, yo, that's weak. Guys that use money to sustain their relationships and use money to get their way in, that shit is weak. It's weakness. It's weak because you don't believe in you enough. You trying to use money. You got to be you. The money is an exclamation mark. The money makes you more of whatever you already are. But you got to bring something to the table. Letting go doesn't always mean it can't work out later. It's just that it cannot work out under these circumstances. Because some people say, well, I feel like they're the one. Okay, maybe they are. But maybe the time is not right. And it's letting go that will allow you both to do what needs to be done in your own personal lives that will allow you to become... Well, it's like a best friend but more. It's the one person in the world who knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person. Actually, they don't make you a better person. You do that yourself. Because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you'll always love them. Nothing can ever change that. Now I realize that the best moments and the best relationships and friendships they come out of just you being the most yourself and the most honest. You can't hurt someone constantly and expect their energy to be the same. Even people with good hearts have limits. If you keep being mistreated, your energy is going to change and it's most likely never going to be the same with that person again. I see people in dating these days, the game is who can try less? Who can be cooler? Who can be more indifferent? And that's honestly not the way to do it. That's certainly the way to attract someone of a lower frequency. I love that. You can certainly attract someone who wants the game, who's got demons that make them chase someone who's not into them. And there are plenty of people with those demons, but you don't want to be in a relationship with a person like that. Because for sure, a person like that, the moment you stop playing hard to get and you turn around to meet them, they're not going to be interested in you anymore because their demons will tell them, this person likes us now. This person is no longer cool to us. They were only cool to us as long as they didn't like us. Which is so messed up. Yeah, but it's that Krautcho Marx thing, I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member. That describes dating insecurity amongst people like that. That person doesn't want me, they must be a catch. Yeah. How old are you now? I'm going to be 96. What life advice would you give people? Well, you know, I don't like going back because there's nothing you can do about the past. I would say, accept where you are at and move on and try and be in the present. You have gratitude for what you have, have compassion and accept what is. And if you can change it, okay. But there are some things that you need to accept that you can't change. And if you can't change it, let it go. Be who you are and people will like you. Being in a situation with someone who has shown us the same patterns over and over again, over a long timeline, and thinking that they are suddenly going to behave out of character is one of the most dangerous things we can do. What I want us to do is act more empirically. Empiricism is acting on experience. What is my experience of this person? When I look at all of their behaviors over time, have they really ever deviated from these behaviors? Maybe after certain arguments or after certain threats they deviated for a moment. But if that was just a momentary spike on the graph and then they returned to their baseline and that baseline is what they've been over time, then whether or not you ever see them as a narcissist, you can empirically say, what makes me think that they are going to be any different just because a new year comes around or just because I argue with them a slightly different way. You've probably done all the things that you could do to try to motivate this person to change. You've probably shown them tears, anger, depression, sadness, fear, every different range of emotion that could show them what their behavior does to you. So what would it take to convince you that this is your soulmate? There is this thing called chemistry, good chemistry. Good chemistry doesn't mean I'm excited about you. That's conventional. That's everyday occurrences. Good chemistry means a woman sitting with a man suddenly feels very comfortable being a woman. A guy sitting with a woman suddenly feels very comfortable being a man and this is coming from the other. That's good chemistry. If she makes him feel comfortable being a man, he makes her feel comfortable being a woman, get married now. We feel someone pulling away and instead of going, oh, you seem to not see my value, that makes you less valuable to me. If instead of doing that, we feel someone pulling away and go, no, I'll fight for you. Then what they start to feel is, oh, this person's willing to fight for me even when I'm not trying, even when I'm pulling away. What we need to do is show someone that there are real stakes, there are real consequences to you not being sure about me. I may have been trying before. I may have been showing you my best and showing you what I was capable of. But the moment you start taking that for granted, the moment you start showing me that you're not sure about me, you become less worthy of all of this effort I'm giving you right now. I may be attracted to you, but I am far more attracted to the life I want for myself. The most powerful people are the most peaceful people because these are people that have mastered the arts of discipline and they have learned themselves. They understand that there will be people that come to test them and there will be people that come to say rude things about them and there will be people that come to challenge them. But the most important thing is how they respond to those challenges. If I give you my time, then I give you my peace. If I sit here and argue with you, I give you my peace. And my peace is so valuable to me that I'd rather keep it to myself. If a person is constantly asking their partner if they are okay or if they are upset with them, it's a form of emotional monitoring, which is a trauma response to growing up in an unstable or abusive environment. Don't get upset at them for asking a million times, but give them the reassurance they are seeking. The reassurance is actually helping them heal. In the habit of them asking will lessen. Men tend to forget that women typically are emotionally wired or more emotionally wired. And so what happens is when she comes to you and expresses a concern, if that concern does not line up in your head logically, men tend to dismiss it. And they don't consider how she's feeling. And I want men to understand you have to learn that we have to accept men and women are different. We are just built differently. And in understanding our differences, we can create more harmony with each other. When that woman says to you, this is how I feel. It's not about your logic at that point, bro. It's about how she feels. The one for you is a combination of two things. He is both right and ready. Right in terms of the qualities he possesses and ready in terms of his willingness to give what you want in a relationship. I would go as far as to argue if a guy isn't ready, he can't be right. Now I get that you may love someone intensely. We've all felt that at some stage and I would never judge you for that. Nietzsche said there is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness. So no matter what your friends or family or anyone else says, you know that there's a reason you love someone and you know that you're not crazy for feeling it. But just because there's a legitimate reason for loving someone, it doesn't make that person the right person. As M. Scott Peck said in The Road Less Traveled, love is a decision. We decide to love someone. And if the guy in front of you isn't deciding to love you, you have to question whether he really is the one for you. The more mature a woman becomes in mind, in soul, in spirit, the more feminine she should become. Your femininity is connected to your maturity, but your maturity is connected to your accountability. When I used to struggle with accountability, I was always so focused on what people did to me, what people said to me, that I failed to see where I went wrong as a woman. But when I became so invested in the betterment of myself as a woman, I was able to see the places in my life where I was masculine. So the masculine woman is always pointing fingers. But the feminine woman is so caught up and is so in love with becoming more feminine and becoming more of a woman that she's always looking within herself. The feminine woman stops rooms when she walks in. The feminine woman turns heads when she walks into a room. But the masculine woman, she has not stepped into that realm yet. She's not stepped into that dimension yet, because she is always so caught up in what others are doing to her that she fails to look within herself and says, how can I become a more feminine woman? If you walk up to a guy, use this one first line, and it will work time and time again. You say, I could really use your help with something. That one line is going to have 9 out of 10 guys immediately receptive to whatever you say next. Because they want to provide and protect. Let's say you're in a bar and you say, could you hold my jacket for two seconds while I give these drinks to my friends? I'm running out of hands here. You then take your drinks, you give them to your friends, you take your jacket and you say, thank you so much, you're a gentleman. How's your evening going anyway? The beauty of this is, rather than having to go up to him randomly and saying, how's your evening going? Which makes it feel like you've really chosen him. In this example, he's doing you the favor. You're just politely asking how his evening is going after he's already done the favor for you. That's an easy way for women to drop the handkerchief in any environment. They never have to risk rejection with that because there's nothing for him to reject. It's just a simple favor. You cannot manipulate your love and hold it back from me because I made a mistake or I made an error or I went sideways. This is where you teach the child how to love shattered people. Because if we don't teach our children how to love shattered people, we won't be able to teach them how to love themselves. Because we are all shattered in some way. How dare you leave me because I'm broken. So yeah, you can get guys sliding in your DM. You can get guys telling you you look good. You can get guys that want to sleep with you. How many of these people actually get guys that want to stay with you, right? Or not in somebody else's DM? The same way that you found him is the same way he's going to find somebody else because we are increasingly becoming a part of a society that's ADHD. You want to know why our grandparents stayed together? Because they weren't looking at ass cheeks all day on Instagram and refreshing it and going, oh, that girl looks younger. That girl looks better. That girl is facetuned. And I think that that is what these young women that they're following are telling them. We've got 13-year-olds getting lip injections because they want to look like Kylie Jenner. Again, not a shot to Kylie Jenner. But what society have we created that ever made Kylie Jenner feel like she had to go out and buy those lips, that she had to contour her entire face and change her entire body? She was already a beautiful little girl. So the society is ill. It's not normal, right? Don't let these people convince you that that's normal. That's cancer. And that cancer will become contagious to you if you accept that. You don't follow better role models. A person who is always deeply immersed in feelings doesn't have control over things. A person who is always in control of things doesn't have time for feelings. Both are fools and unhappy. If you allow feelings to affect your future, you won't get many things done. If you wear your heart on your sleeve and you make all of your life decisions based on your feelings, you're not going to be consistent with things. You're not going to get things done. On the other end of the spectrum though, if you just apply logic to everything that you do in your life and don't focus on feeling, you will take yourself away from connecting with people. You will take yourself away from how beautiful life is and the emotions that we all feel. If you repress anxiety and overwhelmment, don't share those things, and just try and solve everything with logic and thinking, you will end up in a very bad place. You will end up as a fool and unhappy. At the same time, on the other end of the spectrum, when you just allow emotions and feelings to deal with your future, you're going to be a fool and very unhappy. The key is in the middle. It is looking at things with logic, but then listening to your gut. Sharing your feelings, allowing the normal emotions of anxiety, overwhelm, stress, envy, anger, all of these things that everybody experiences. Sometimes allow it out. Sometimes tell someone to go and fuck off. Sometimes go and tell someone they're a prick. Sometimes it's very much needed, and sometimes it's not. I do think that is such good advice though for people that are going through breakups and are really dealing with it. It's like, bro, it had nothing to do with you. This person is broken. This person is damaged. Bro, so much guys and people in general, women, have hit me up and have asked me about, hey, I was in this relationship. They broke up with me. How do I get them back? How do I? It's like, dude, like you said, bro, you dodged a bullet. You dodged a bullet. You're good. This is a gift from God to A, level up, and B, not have a toxic person in your life anymore. Why are we sitting here waiting for this person to come back when in reality they didn't want to be with you? Is that the person you want to be with? Call me crazy, but I still believe in the old school love. I still believe that if a man really wanted you, if he really loved you, he'd be obsessed with you. Nothing would be too big for him to do to get to you. There wouldn't be a fight that he wouldn't be prepared to fight to keep you. There wouldn't be a room that he wouldn't take you and dance in and show you off to everyone around you. We may not see it very much anymore. It may not be around all the time. But the people that really believe in that love, they've been tarnished by this generation. And just like me and just like you, those guys are indoors. Praying that women like us still exist. And I believe there will be a time that we'll all come back together. So don't give up. Call me crazy, but I still believe in the old school love. I think you can only get obsessed with someone that is not available or good for you. Because if someone is present with you, like truly physically and emotionally and intellectually present with you, there is no space for that obsession to come in. So if you are obsessed with someone, you're probably obsessed with that space in between. Because how many times have you noticed that when you get that person that you're obsessed with, the obsession goes away? So again, you're not obsessed with the person, you're obsessed with that space in between, that emptiness that is a reflection of the emptiness and incompletion within you. I no longer accept inconsistencies or broken promises. If somebody is walking out of my life, I let them go. Because it's easier to adjust my life to their absence than to adjust my boundaries to their disrespect. And I'm not looking for some grand love story. I'm looking for somebody who wants to walk life's journey with me. So let them walk away. Because they were never the one. And that's okay. Let me tell you about the things that I didn't think would matter when I got married. And then they turned out to matter very much. And now we're divorced. Religion. I'm not religious. My ex is a Catholic. I honestly thought it wouldn't matter. I thought, you believe what you believe, I'll believe what I believe. It's fine! It's not fine. Second thing, money. How you spend it, how you save it, how you invest it, how you earn it, that shit matters. Because if you're not on the same page about things like that, it's gonna cause huge problems. And in fact, that's a really common reason for divorce. Third thing I didn't think would matter. Health. I am somebody who likes to take care of myself. I exercise. I like to eat good foods, foods that are good for me. That is not my ex. My ex does not live that way. And maybe you can make it work. I mean, we kind of made it work until we had a kid. Because then you have someone who's healthy and wants to put healthy things into their child. And the other person who treats their body like shit then feeds the child the same shit. What did you think wouldn't be an issue and then turned out to be a big issue? Let me know in the comments. Some signs that your boyfriend is husband material. From the start, there's no games. He makes it obvious he likes you. And he's not being weird about it. You're not just partners, but you're actually best friends. And he's your number one hype man to show you off. He wants to make sure everyone knows you guys are together. He's so proud to be with you. He's never jealous when you're posting cute photos of yourself on Instagram. He's never jealous when you want to go on a night out with your friends. He's like, have fun. I love you. Be safe. He inspires you daily to become a better person. You're becoming the best version of yourself being with him. You don't suddenly disappear from the earth and never talk to your friends ever again. If you're going to marry someone, I do think it's important sharing the same morals, same beliefs. When you're raising kids, you're aligned. You're on the same page. Also, your love languages are aligned. Last is that you're at the front of his mind when he's making big decisions. He's thinking of you. He's asking for your opinion. You're in this together. Let me know if you want a part two. What do you think the role of a man should be in a relationship? Leadership is important. And the reason why leadership is important is because if he doesn't lead, she already has to lead when it comes to kids and all these other things. Women are already overburdened in the dynamic of a relationship. But the reality is women are physically more bounded by marriage and kids. Physically, the whole body changes. Child is like attached to them. Honestly, their whole vagina is destroyed. Everything is just broken for them after a child. And more so than that, they emotionally can't relax. Every time they're thinking the baby's crying, the baby's hungry, there's this and the other. So the emotional exhaustion in a woman is so draining. Now, when she has a husband that she also has to babysit because he doesn't know where to go. He doesn't know what we're doing. He doesn't know how to make decisions. She feels like she's raising everybody and she starts to disrespect him. My husband cracked the damn code on me. He got home from overtime yesterday and he was like, I'm starving. I'm going to order Mexican food. What do you want? And I was like, I just ate with the baby. I'm not hungry. I don't need anything. And he looked at me and he went like, what do you want? And I was like, no, like I'm good, babe. I'm I promise I'm good. I'm fine. I said, I'm fine. 20 minutes later, DoorDash shows up and his food, of course, smells delicious. And the regret sits in my soul. And I don't say a thing because I made my bed. I need to lie in it. All right. We're not going to I don't want to hear that. I told you so. This is how I know I have a soul mate. Because the first thing he pulls out of that bag was a burrito. Not for him. For me. He said, here, because I was holding the baby. He's all, here's mom's burrito, because I know what I'm fine means. It means I'm going to be hungry when my food gets here. And no, I'm okay means just a bean and cheese burrito. It just it always means a bean and cheese burrito. And he's not wrong. Okay. It does always mean I want a bean and cheese burrito. You're a young couple. And you're going through some, some things. And you're like, man, we must be the worst couple in the world. Man, we just ain't got it. Of course, you ain't got it figured out. When you hit 30, you still ain't 30 years of marriage. You still ain't going to have it all figured out. My wife and I are still trying to figure stuff out. And we just take it as it comes. And we learn and we mature and we grow. And it takes time. But you'll not get there if you quit. Fellas, you'll not get there if you quit. If you just say, forget it. You know.